Chapter 5 #2
Reece’s mate had to pull us apart a couple of years ago when I’d had enough of him calling Koa a fag and tried to throw a punch.
Since then, the topic has been off limits when we catch up, which is barely more than Christmas, Easter and family birthdays.
As for my mum, I’m almost one hundred percent sure she’ll be okay because she loves Koa and treats him like a son.
Pushing aside thoughts of family—that’s the last thing I want to think about when I’m about to jerk off—I grab my laptop from the bedside table.
I search for Gay Pornhub, take a deep breath and click on the link.
It opens to a page of random videos, and, as I scroll down, even the thumbnails freak me out.
Am I really going to do this? I don’t want anything too hardcore or kinky to start with.
When I watch straight porn, I stick to vanilla stuff, and I like the real couples because it doesn’t seem as fake.
Half of them probably aren’t real couples at all, but it seems more romantic.
I like seeing and feeling a connection rather than just a girl getting pounded.
In the search bar, I type, real boyfriends, and a new list of videos appear.
Scrolling down, I read the titles and descriptions while checking out the guys.
I’m not sure what it is I find attractive about men, or even if I have a type.
About halfway down, I stop at a thumbnail of two guys kissing in missionary and click on it.
The new window opens, and I wait impatiently, leg bouncing, until I can skip past the stupid ad.
It begins with the two guys making out, still in their underwear.
One of them is tall and muscular, and likely in his mid thirties, while the other is younger, maybe early twenties like me, but slim and…
okay, he’s pretty cute. The tall guy pulls the younger one over him and slips his hand into his briefs to squeeze his ass.
The way the younger guy moans and grinds his hips down gets me in the mood much quicker than I expected. Hello boner!
As the couple gets naked, exposing their hard and ridiculously large dicks, I can’t stop myself from slipping my hand under the covers to grab my own.
By the time the younger guy is enthusiastically sucking the taller man’s dick, I’m already close to coming.
I never come this fast when I watch straight porn.
Maybe it’s because it’s new, or because it feels taboo, but, whatever the reason, I’m fucking turned on.
Heart pounding, I delicately circle the head of my cock, spreading the pre-cum, and getting myself nice and wet.
Jesus, I’m too hot. I kick off the doona, then frantically re-position the laptop beside me. The camera angle changes and it’s right there on the younger guy’s ass. On his hole! Holy fuck! I don’t think my hole looks anything like this guy’s. It looks… It looks…
“Fuck!” My mouth drops open as the taller man licks it. “Shit.” I squeeze the tip of my dick so I don’t come. The moans, the neediness, the tongue in his ass. What filth is this? Does Koa get his ass licked or does he do the licking? Jesus, don’t think of Koa right now.
Huxley. Yeah, Huxley. I start stroking myself again but slowly this time. I bet Huxley’s ass is cute. I wonder if he likes having a tongue inside him.
“Want you to ride me, baby,” the taller man says in the video.
I pay careful attention to all the lube, and the fingering—also hot as fuck—then gasp as the younger man sinks down over the massive cock.
How that doesn’t hurt I’ve no clue. But the guy bottoming moans like he’s in heaven as he bounces up and down.
As I edge closer to orgasm, I imagine Huxley on top of me, riding my cock, just like the guy in the video.
Closing my eyes, I buck up into my hand, lost in the fantasy of being inside Huxley.
Would he moan and pant like the cute guy in the video? Would Huxley let me come in his ass?
“Fuck, oh fuck!” I chant as I orgasm, waves of pleasure pulsing through me, cum landing on my stomach and chest.
As the orgasm subsides, I open my eyes to find the couple on the screen passionately fucking in missionary. They kiss differently to a man and a woman. It’s not aggressive, but it is deeper and more intense. They whisper things to each other and then come almost simultaneously.
I continue slowly stroking my own overstimulated dick, fascinated by the intimate way the taller man holds and caresses the younger guy.
The one bottoming is sweet and submissive and I like it.
This dynamic between two men is not something I ever truly considered before.
Would I, could I, be submissive with a guy if he wanted that? Would Huxley want that from me?
I clean myself up in the bathroom and put on clean underwear and an old T-shirt before making my way back to bed.
My thoughts are running on overdrive, and I don’t know what to make of them.
Firstly, I don’t know why I’ve never watched gay porn before.
Secondly, I’m shocked at how much I enjoyed it.
On one hand, it seemed completely different from straight sex, but on the other, it didn’t seem different at all.
Truth is, I found the guy bottoming sexy.
His softness, his ass, the way he arched his back.
The coy innocent way he looked up into the camera.
If the porn has done one thing, it’s made me realise I like the idea of a guy getting off on my dick. Or, more specifically, I like the idea of Huxley getting off on my dick. Huxley Sinclair is an enticing thought. And that scares the hell out of me.
I’ve only known him for two days and I can’t think of anyone else.
It’s idiotic to say the least. I need to take baby steps in case the reality doesn’t stack up to the fantasy, because thinking about sucking a dick or an ass is one thing—doing it is something else entirely.
I need to rein in my emotions and just sit with the idea before I do anything.
A week ago, I was one hundred percent sure I was straight. Who’s to say in another week I won’t be one hundred percent sure again?
“Night Cazaly,” I say as I turn out the bedside lamp and get comfortable under the doona. Cazaly doesn’t even stir, already sound asleep in his bed on the floor.
Lunch with Huxley will be nice. And I really want to organise that puppy date. Maybe I’ll ask Huxley if he would like to check out the footy tryouts on Friday. I could show off some of my skills and wear a tank top two sizes too small to show off my chest.
I groan. “Shut the fuck up, Turner. And go to sleep.”
It’s almost 2:00AM before I stop running scenarios in my head and surrender to sleep.