Day 7 #2
“You wanna go somewhere else?” Caleb runs a hand over his short hair, and his face is scrunched up in a way that tells me this was his plan.
He doesn’t want me to say yes. And so I don’t.
I shake my head, force a smile, and tell him it’s fine.
The only thing calming my nerves at all is the fact that Caleb isn’t much more dressed up than I am.
He’s wearing a button-up shirt, but it’s short-sleeved, and we’re both wearing sandals.
Not the cute, dressy kind; the beach kind.
Flip-flops. And as mine smack against the tiled entryway, I tell myself to breathe.
That no one is looking at me, or noticing what I’m wearing.
You’ll never see any of these people again.
The words remind me of Asher, of what he said to me as we stood outside the doors of that house just last night.
Before I can stop myself I’m thinking about the kiss.
As Caleb and I are led to our table, tucked away in a dark corner, I can feel Asher’s lips, warm and slow.
The weight of his hand laid on top of mine.
The scrape of the grass against my bare legs as I twisted myself toward him.
I have a menu in my hands by the time I shake myself free from the thoughts.
“This is really nice,” I say, looking across the room at the small wooden tables topped with candles and white china. The long row of windows overlooking the lake in the distance. The light fixtures all glow amber, and everything about this place feels warm.
“It was my mom’s idea.” Caleb grimaces, as if he brought her with us. “I made the reservation myself.”
He smiles and when I laugh he does, too.
And it feels like something inside me snaps, because I’m not nervous anymore.
The waiter offers us a wine list, and looks nervous that we might actually take it.
Caleb asks me if the fritters sound good as an appetizer, and when I nod he orders them.
While we wait, he tells me about how his dad brought his mom here on their first date, and it’s both sweet and weird.
Sweet that he tells me, weird to think that this could be the start of something.
Weirder because he also adds that they’re divorced.
When the appetizer arrives, he awkwardly puts a few pieces on his plate with the little silver tongs they brought us.
In my opinion, anything that is stick-shaped and fried is finger food.
This isn’t what I had in mind when I thought of a first date with Caleb.
I figured we’d be riding the little water bumper boats at the tiny amusement park on the edge of town, or going on a dune-buggy ride.
Silver tongs and sea bass were not on my radar.
My sea bass is delicious, though. And as I pick pieces off with my fork, and Caleb saws at his steak, I realize we haven’t had to talk about anything real yet.
We’ve had witty banter, and fun flirting, and quirky produce shopping, but we don’t actually know anything about each other yet.
Except that his parents went on a first date in this very restaurant.
So technically, I know more about his parents than I do about Caleb.
When my fish is gone I break the silence. “Do you play any sports?”
He shakes his head. “Not since seventh grade. It turns out it takes more than being tall to be any good at basketball.”
I smile and nod. “Yeah, I was the tallest girl in my class in seventh grade, and I was the absolute worst at basketball.”
“You swim, right?” He must catch the surprise on my face because he immediately offers, “Kara mentioned it.”
My heart swells a little at the thought of him asking about me. Good sign.
“Yeah, I’m swimming at Oakwood in the fall.” It still feels weird to say it. Weird that after all of these years of dreaming it, it’s actually happening. I always hoped it would happen, but maybe deep down I prepared myself, just a little, for my dream to end after high school.
“Cool,” he says, sticking another bite of red meat into his mouth.
There’s a long stretch of silence and with every second that ticks by I deflate a little more.
There’s something really shitty about someone not realizing when something is a big deal to you.
That you spent thousands of hours of your life working toward something, and you’re in a small fraction of people that actually made it.
It’s not that I need everyone to ooh and ahh about it, but he’s obviously not interested. At all.
“Yeah,” I say, sticking a forkful of rice into my mouth. I kind of want to ask him if he has any beloved pets, and then give a dismissive shrug when he mentions them. I totally wouldn’t do something that mean to anyone but Asher though, and the thought makes my lips quirk up just a little.
“What?” Caleb asks, eyeing me quizzically.
“Hm?”
“You were smiling.”
Was I? I just shake my head because words are hard right now.
And maybe going on a date the day after that kiss wasn’t such a good idea.
Or maybe, that was the whole idea. Could Asher have known?
Last night is such a blur; did I tell him?
I’m stabbing a piece of fish ten times more aggressively than is necessary when Caleb’s voice cuts through the quiet. “What are you going to major in?”
“I don’t know, actually.”
“Really?” The surprise on his face unsettles me.
“Really. Why does that surprise you?” You hardly know me, I silently add.
“Kara just mentioned that you’re … well, she didn’t use these words exactly … but she said you’re super organized. That you like plans.” He makes a slashing motion with his hand like he’s karate chopping the air.
I push some rice around on my plate. “I do like a good list. You’ll have to stop talking to Kara or she’ll give away all my secrets.”
“I’m sure you have more exciting secrets.
” His lips turn up in a smile and mine do, too.
We’re back to the flirting, the witty banter, and when he drops me off at my house, he doesn’t kiss me, but I can tell he wants to.
But he’s a nice guy, the kind that tries to impress you on a first date, and doesn’t steal kisses.
And as I’m sitting at the kitchen table eating one of my mom’s famous chocolate chip cookies, a text chimes on my phone.
It’s true—almost. Tonight was a perfectly adequate night, but I’m not sure that when Kara grills me about it, I’ll call it fun.
Caleb is nice enough, but there’s definitely something missing there.
And for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel like waiting ten days to find out what exactly that thing is.
Oh god. Did I seriously just type casual?
I’m just tucking my phone into my pocket when I open the door to my bedroom and my bare feet come into contact with something wet and cold.
A breath later they slip out from under me.
I crash onto my back, and my hands slip and slide as I struggle to grab hold of anything in the darkness of my room.
Something thick and oily coats my hands and my feet, and as my eyes adjust, I see that the floor is shining with a white slickness.
While I was out with Caleb, being completely traumatized by last night’s kiss, Asher was continuing to torment me.
He was rolling out what must be hundreds of feet of Saran Wrap.
It’s thick under me, taut over the thin, worn carpet, running in every direction, like a second floor under my feet.
I raise a hesitant finger to my nose. Mayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise.
In my brain there are a million perfectly orchestrated pranks prepared for this summer. But as the light of the little fish-cleaning house glares into my room, throwing slashes of light over my floor that now glistens with the world’s most disgusting condiment … a new idea overshadows all of them.
It’s on.