Chapter 11 #2
She stared at her pink-painted toenails, buried them in the sand before starting to sway. “Who are you kidding, Declan? You’d never go against your own family.” Lily said it softly. Not in admonishment. Just stated it right there, like a fact.
And it was a fact. Or at least, it had been. But something had broken in him last night, when he’d dared to finally speak up against his family. When he’d chosen Lily by walking out on family dinner.
“You’re right. Family’s important to me. But so are you.”
“And you’re important to me too. But with your family, it just seems, I don’t know.” She kicked her foot, sending a spray of sand flying forward.
“It just seems what?”
She sighed. “Almost unhealthy. Like you’re doing it out of guilt or fear, not love.”
Her words shook something loose inside him. “No, Lily. But maybe there is a part of me that wants to break free of everything they expect of me.”
“Why? What happened to make you feel like you couldn’t be your own person, that you had to do everything your family asked of you? Is there more to it than what happened with your grandpa?”
How did she do that—cut to the heart of everything he’d struggled with his whole life and make it sound so cut-and-dried? So simple?
Declan planted his feet on the ground and leaned forward.
“When I was a kid, my mom’s brother married someone the family didn’t approve of.
They met when she was visiting Jonathon Island, and she got the flu.
My uncle was on call at the clinic that night.
I don’t know if you remember him, but he was a physician and planning to take over my grandpa’s pediatric practice.
He split his time between that and the clinic. ”
Uncle Craig. He’d been so generous and kind to Declan, had encouraged him to follow his dreams, wherever they might lead.
Lily reached over, slipped her hand in his. Squeezed. “And?”
“And, Gert was from Germany. They fell in love really quickly and decided to get married. The only problem was that she didn’t want to leave her own parents who lived in Frankfurt, so he told his parents he’d be moving.”
“I’m guessing they didn’t take that too well.”
“Not well at all. They basically said if he moved, Uncle Craig was dead to them.”
“Not cool.”
He smiled at how succinctly she’d put it. “Not cool at all.”
Another squeeze at his fingertips. “So what happened?”
“Uncle Craig chose love. He moved. And I never saw him again.”
“Wait, seriously ?”
“Unfortunately, yes. When I asked my mom what had happened to him, she told me, ‘Family always comes first. He was selfish to prioritize his own happiness and leave the rest of us in the lurch.’ All because he wasn’t here anymore to take over the practice.”
“Wow. I’m sorry, Dec. But you know she wasn’t right in that, yeah? That was her own fear talking.”
He shrugged. His thumb swiped across the back of Lily’s hand, so soft in his. “Looking back, yes, I’m sure she was speaking largely out of hurt. They were really close, and she missed him.”
“It’s not like he was dead, though. She could have still had a relationship with him.”
“In case you haven’t figured it out, my mother is an all-or-nothing kind of person.”
She’d come to face him, resting her head against the swing’s chain. Offered him a small smile. “I did kind of guess that. But she was wrong, you know. It isn’t selfish to want to be happy.”
“I know that now. Or at least, I’m trying to.” He inhaled a deep breath. Here it went…“And do you know what’s made me happier than I’ve been in years?”
Lily pressed her lips together, eyes wide as she shook her head.
Declan looked her straight in the eyes, without blinking, and uttered the one word that might finally change everything between them. An admission with the power to blow up their worlds—for better or worse. Hopefully, mostly better.
“You.”
* * *
And there it was.
The thing they’d been building toward since Declan had kissed her senseless in the kitchen last night—though to be honest, for her, it had started long before that.
Had there ever been a moment, ever since that Disney World trip when they were eighteen, when at least some part of her hadn’t loved Declan Kelley?
Maybe not.
And Lily was oh-so-tired of pretending, of holding back this living, breathing, and yes, growing desire inside of her.
Which was why she bounced to her feet, rounded on Declan, and grabbed on to the swing ropes on either side of him. She leaned in, her breath mingled with his as her hair fell forward over her shoulders.
Declan reached up and gingerly pushed it behind her ears, his large hands cupping her face, his eyes liquid in the moonlight. “What do you want, Lily Ann Hart?”
“I want…” She inhaled and decided to be brutally honest. “For just once, I want someone to choose me . Not just when it’s convenient. Not just when it feels right. But always.”
He flinched. “I know I already said this, but I’m so sorry for what happened in high school. I shouldn’t have?—”
“I know.” She leaned closer. “It wasn’t just you.”
“What do you mean?” His gaze darkened. “Who else hurt you?”
“Nobody of consequence now.” Straightening, she backed away from Declan. A sudden breeze had her wrapping her arms around herself—but it was the memories too that chilled her.
Declan stood, drawing her to himself, tucking her in. “Please tell me.”
“Okay.” She relaxed into his embrace. “Back in Florida, I dated this guy, Tony.”
“I hate him already.”
Lily laughed and pinched Declan’s side. His low chuckle filled her ear, filling her up. “So Tony and I dated for quite a while in school. We were partners for this creative project. Even won a free trip to Paris.”
“What? That’s amazing, Lil. I’m guessing it was your creation that led to it too, huh?”
“It was the bergamot. Gets the judges every time.”
“Of course it was.” His hand lightly stroked her back, and she couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “So what happened with Baloney Tony?”
She snorted. “Baloney Tony ended up being a phony.”
“I see what you did there. How was he phony?”
“Um.” This part, ugh. “A few days before our trip to Paris, he broke up with me. Said he’d rather take Jessica, another chef in our class, instead.”
“What an absolute…” He cleared his throat. “I hope you said no way and went to Paris and amazed all the chefs there.”
“Not quite.” Her words were soft, filled with the aching of those days. “I should have. But I spent the week holed up in my room claiming a cold, and my teacher let Jessica go in my stead.”
Declan held her tighter. “I’m so sorry, Lily. That shouldn’t have happened. Sounds like you dodged a bullet, but I imagine that hurt. Especially after what I did.”
She nodded into his chest. “I’ll admit, for a long while, I wondered what was wrong with me.”
He pushed her away slightly so he could look down at her. “Absolutely nothing. You are perfect.”
“I’m hardly that.”
“Maybe you’re just perfect for me, then.”
Oh, her heart. Her fingers tugged on his belt loops. “All right, I spilled. Now what about you? Any exes to report?”
Something shifted in his gaze. “You don’t want to hear about her.”
“Ah, so there is someone.” And why did the thought of it make Lily want to find this woman and feed her on purpose the same batch of fudge she’d accidentally fed to Kent Mercer?
“ Was someone.” He lifted her chin. “But she was never you, Lil.”
Oh, Declan. “Still. I want to know. If you’ll tell me?”
Sighing, he kissed her temple and pulled her back to himself, settling his chin on top of her head.
“Kim and I dated for a few years in Chicago. We were serious. At least, I thought so. I was working hard at my current job and applying for grad school. It took me a few rounds of application to get into the program I really wanted. But Kim didn’t stick around long enough to see me succeed. ”
“What do you mean? You’re not saying she dumped you because you didn’t get into grad school on the first try?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
Now it was Lily’s turn to hold her tongue when she really wanted to call this Kim character some colorful names. “But why?”
“She was from a rich family and said she could never be with someone who couldn’t provide her with a certain standard of living. Guess when we started dating, I had all these ambitions, and she thought I was her meal ticket to the fancy life. She never wanted me for, well, me.”
Looking up, Lily brushed her fingertips across his jawline. “It’s her loss, then.”
“You think so?”
“I do.”
His heated gaze consumed her, especially when it flitted from her eyes to her lips.
“Lil…”
“Yeah?”
“You told me what you want—but you didn’t tell me how you feel about me. Because in case it isn’t clear, I kind of really like you.”
She couldn’t help but giggle. “Okay. Well, then, I kind of really like you too.”
Understatement of the century.
Something flashed in his eyes and he pulled her close, angling his mouth close to hers.
But before their lips met, she whispered, “I still don’t know what we’re doing here. Or where this is going.”
“I don’t either. But at some point, we just have to make a leap of faith and believe that it will all work out.”
“Faith, I can do. I’m willing to weather the storm with you. But Declan, please don’t kiss me if you can’t choose me this time.” The plea fell from her lips straight from her heart before she could stop it. “Don’t start something that you’re not willing to finish. Please.”
“Aw, Lil.” Once again, he cradled her face in his hands. “Do you trust me?”
“I want to.” Oh, how badly she wanted to.
“Then trust in this.”
And he kissed her.
Oh, he kissed her.
The kiss was gentle at first, a tender exploration filled with unspoken promises. Lily’s fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt as she melted against him.
Declan’s hand slid to the small of her back, drawing her even closer. His other hand stroked the nape of her neck, fingers tangling in her hair. The kiss deepened as they poured years of longing and uncertainty into this one perfect moment.
Lily’s lips parted with a soft sigh against his mouth. The taste of him, the scent of his cologne, the warmth of his body against hers, it all overwhelmed her senses. He was hers, and she was his, and nothing else mattered in this moment.
Oh, she loved him. Loved every part of him. The tenderness, the steadfastness, the protectiveness. How could any woman have turned away from all that he was simply because he didn’t make enough money?
Kim’s loss had definitely been Lily’s gain.
And Lily kissed him again and again to prove that she loved him for him —for all that he was. Just poured out her heart there in the moment, on that grassy knoll, with the stars shining overhead and the emphatic hoots of a barred owl.
Finally, Declan rested his forehead against Lily’s, his eyes closed as if savoring the moment.
“I choose you, Lily,” he whispered, his voice husky with emotion.
“I choose us. No more doubts. I don’t know how things will go with the fudge shop or our families, but this, right here, with you, is where I want to be. ”
Lily’s thumb traced his lower lip. “Promise?” she asked, her voice barely audible even to herself.
“I do.” Declan captured her lips in another fiery kiss—a seal to his promise.
And as they stood there in the moonlit park, wrapped in each other’s arms, Lily knew that this time, it was real. This time, they were choosing each other.
No matter who won this stupid competition.