Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
T he moonlight gave him no answers.
Declan’s feet crunched along the rocky marina shore. The water caught the reflection of the moonlight, a line from here to the mainland.
He’d gone by Lily’s house. Knocked on her door.
She’d refused to see him, of course. And maybe he didn’t need to be a jerk and barge past her father.
So, hands in pockets, he’d walked the shoreline between the yacht club and Fort Jonathon. The wind had kicked up off the lake—maybe he should have grabbed his leather jacket. But that’s what impulse did—put you in a place you didn’t expect.
Like falling back in love with the one woman he’d never forgotten.
Leaning over, Declan picked up a large stone and skipped it across the waves. It disappeared after a few plinks.
“Now I know you can do better than that.”
Declan turned at the familiar voice to find Pastor Arnie. He wore a flannel jacket, walked with his hands in his pockets.
“What are you doing here?”
“Thinking about tomorrow’s sermon. I like to get alone, hear it in my head. Great show today. Tara told me about the dilemma. Said you got the shop and your grandma’s house.” He clamped him on the shoulder. “Congratulations.”
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t feel like a win.”
“This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with your second chance with one Lily Hart, now would it?”
Declan coughed. Small-town living had its downfalls sometimes. “More like feeling under my family’s thumb.”
“How so?”
“Let’s just say they have a certain vision for my life, and it involves forsaking everything to support the family legacy.”
“You mean the fudge shop?”
Declan’s shoulder lifted. “And the feud with the Harts.”
The paster scooped up a rock and sent it sailing. It skipped into the night. “Ah, so they’re not in support of you and Lily?”
“They never were. Surely you remember what happened in high school?”
Arnie palmed another rock, smoothing his thumb along the surface before handing it to Declan.
“I know there was a tragic accident. I know that young love wasn’t allowed to bloom.
That two young people Tara and I loved went their separate ways, made lives for themselves elsewhere, and despite all odds, were thrust back together in what I don’t believe was a coincidence. ”
“You don’t really believe it was a divine moment, do you?” Declan squeezed the rock in his hand. It was calming, cool and solid just like this man of God beside him. “Especially with the way things turned out.”
Arnie studied the lake, and the breeze rustled his hair. “What I believe is that people and their opinions—our own too—can often distract us from hearing what God wants for our lives.”
“And what’s that?”
“Peace. Joy.” Arnie looked at him sideways, smile lines appearing at the corner of his eye. “Love.”
The word twisted Declan’s insides. “I thought maybe this time would be different, you know? That Lily and I would find a way. But then my stupid brother sabotaged Lily’s fudge.”
Arnie turned to face Declan a bit more, eyebrows lifted. “Oh?”
It felt good to admit it out loud to someone.
Too bad Arnie couldn’t be the one to go to the town council with the information, but he’d never break a confidence.
Declan nodded. “I found out tonight, after the results of the competition were reversed. He’s been sabotaging Lily all along.
I had no idea,” he rushed to say. “But when I told my parents, they…”
“Didn’t want to tell the truth?”
“More like didn’t want to admit that she might have won. They convinced themselves that maybe even without Isaac’s sabotage, I would have won.”
“And is that true?”
“I saw the numbers. She was ahead. But it’s true that I still might have sold more fudge than her. There’s just no way to know.”
“And does it really matter?”
Right. “I want Lily to have her fudge shop, but I also know it’s important to my parents.
And ultimately, I want to do what’s right.
But does that mean outing my family to the whole town, exposing us as cheaters?
That might have unintended consequences.
People might boycott their businesses, their livelihoods.
What if I’m the reason my family sinks or swims? ”
“Son, you aren’t God. You don’t have the power of life or of death—real or metaphorical.”
Declan blinked. “Of course not. I didn’t mean that. It’s just, I want to do the smart thing. And I want to keep the peace.” He sighed. “Lily called me weak. And maybe I am.”
“It takes real strength to do what is right, even if it costs you. But it also takes strength to keep the peace. You have to stand up, make sacrifices. This is exactly what Jesus did—he made peace between us and God by doing what was right and making the ultimate sacrifice.” He chuckled, maybe to himself.
“Sometimes what the world thinks is the smart thing isn’t the same as the right thing.
God could be leading you in a completely different direction than what others—including your family—would say is the right way. ”
He looked over at Declan. “You can ask Tara about that one. She had to go against her family’s wishes when she and I fell in love, but this little island was where God was leading her.”
“And her family didn’t disown her?” His thoughts skipped to Uncle Craig.
“Oh, they weren’t happy with her for a while.
And there were many painful conversations.
Some silent periods. But when her family saw she was respectfully standing her ground, they decided they’d rather have her in their lives than not.
” Arnie flashed a wry grin. “Plus, they decided I wasn’t so bad. ”
Declan laughed, though there was a hollow echo in it. “I’m glad it worked out for you. Not sure my family would be so forgiving, though.”
Pastor nodded. “We have to do what’s right regardless of what may or may not happen, or how other people might react. The Bible says, ‘There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.’”
Declan’s fist gripped the stone until his hand muscles ached. “If that’s true, then how are we supposed to know what way is right?”
“God will show you, but you’ve got to pray about it. Maybe fast. Ask advice from someone you respect.”
He couldn’t think of anyone he respected more than Arnie. “So what should I do then, Pastor? Tell the town council about Isaac and possibly ruin my family’s reputation? Or stay quiet and ruin the dreams of the woman I love?” Declan stared at the ground. “It seems like an impossible choice.”
Arnie clapped him on the shoulder. “The Bible is full of men and women making impossible choices. But each one had to listen to God as the ultimate authority in their lives. Because as much of a blessing as family is, they are not the ones we will answer to in the end.”
Declan stood there, nodding. Had he been making his family and what they wanted for him his god? Had he been seeking their love and acceptance—their forgiveness—over God’s?
His grip on the stone loosened, and it slid from his palm to his fingertips, waiting. What would it be like to let it all go? To fling away the burden of his family’s expectations? The fear that he’d lose them all? The worry that he’d never be known for who he really was?
With a twist and a step, Declan tossed the stone Arnie had handed him across the surface of the lake.
The rock neatly skipped and skipped and skipped until Declan couldn’t see it anymore.
He took a deep inhale of the fresh air, closed his eyes, and started—finally, for real—talking to God.
* * *
And now she didn’t have a clue what to do with her life.
Light streamed through her childhood bedroom window, and Lily flipped over in her bed, facing the wall she’d once upon a time painted a bubble gum pink. The true-life application to the dreams in her head. Happy. Fun.
Too bad real life hadn’t matched her expectations.
She snuggled deeper into her thick white comforter. Maybe she’d stay in bed for the next three days. A week. Whatever. It wouldn’t matter. Nothing changed the fact that she’d ruined everything.
How could she have accused Declan and his family of sabotage? The fresh air and some ranting to her parents had helped her see the truth.
Cody had warned her about the pipes. If she’d been a smart and savvy business owner, she’d have gotten them fixed ASAP.
Instead, she’d spent her time dreaming and kissing and falling in love. Same old head-in-the-clouds Lily, doomed to repeat her mistakes.
Lily sighed and closed her eyes again, but a knock at her door had her sitting up.
Mom poked her head inside. “Hey, sweetie. Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
Nudging open the door, Mom came in. She lowered herself onto the bed beside Lily and stroked Lily’s hair. “You should know, Declan stopped by last night.”
Yes, she’d heard him. And her father’s words after he turned him away.
She’d nearly gotten up, nearly gone down to apologize, but what would it matter?
She’d already lost everything.
“It’s almost two in the afternoon.”
“What?” She sat up.
“Yes. Dani and Mia stopped by after church, but you were still sleeping.” Mom studied her a moment, sighing. “I know things are hard right now, but they will get better, love.”
“I’m sorry, Mom.” The whisper eked from her lips.
“Sorry for what?”
“For being an airhead. For not focusing on the right thing. For losing the shop.” She leaned back against her headboard, pressing her lips together. “I’m such a failure.”
“Don’t talk about my daughter that way. You are not a failure.”
“What would you call it, then? I’m certainly not a raving success.”
“Success is overrated, and so subjective.” Mom held up her hands. “You think I don’t have days I feel like a failure because my body doesn’t work the way it used to?”
“That’s different. That wasn’t your choice.”
“And neither was this. It was the result of some bad luck, that’s all.”
“No, Mom, that’s not all. It’s a pattern for me. No matter how much I want to be different, I get distracted and then I fail to live up to the person I want to be.”
Mom shook her head. “Lily, where is all of this coming from? God made you exactly as you are, and you’re amazing. You don’t have to be anyone but you.”
“And yet, Grandpa chose Cody. Oscar chose Carlos. Tony chose Jessica.”
And Declan…he’d chosen his family over her.
“Okay, the Tony and Jessica reference I get, but you’re going to have to back up and explain the others to me.”
She ran her hands through her hair. Oh, she needed a shower. Inside and out. She sighed and met her mother’s eyes. “The reason I came home from Florida…it wasn’t just because I wanted to run the shop. It’s because I got fired and was literally out of options.”
“Oh, Lily. I’m sorry.”
“It was my own fault. I thought…well, I got carried away, just like always.” She looked away, not wanting to see Mom’s face—the inevitable disappointment—when she told her the rest. “It’s why I also failed out of business school. Why I didn’t graduate.”
Mom was quiet for several long moments before finally speaking. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was ashamed.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I wanted so badly to make you proud. To prove that I had what it took to someday take over the fudge business, just like Cody was going to do with the fishing company.”
“Why in the world would you think that graduating or not graduating would prove anything?”
She glanced at Mom. But there wasn’t disappointment, just confusion etched into her features. “In case you’ve forgotten, neither your father nor I graduated college. Your father never even attended.”
“I know. But you had common sense. A business mind. I didn’t. I don’t. You remember the things Grandpa would say.”
Mom’s lips screwed into a frown. “Yes, I remember. He wasn’t the nicest man. He’d say them to me too, you know.”
“Wait, what? I didn’t know that.”
“It’s true. But even if it wasn’t, I’m sorry you ever felt like we weren’t proud of you. We were.” Mom reached for her hand, squeezed. “We are .”
Lily swatted away yet another tear. “Thanks, Mom. I just wish I’d been able to keep the shop.”
“I do too, but for your sake. Because you love it.”
“I love the creating part, that’s true. Maybe not the business stuff, though.”
“That’s why there’s such a thing as a business partner . You find someone who complements your strengths with their own. You don’t have to do everything alone.” Mom tilted her head, smiled. “It’s that way with a life partner too.”
“Yeah, well, I think things are even more dismal in that department.”
“I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Declan. He was starting to grow on me.”
“Even though he’s a Kelley?”
“You know as well as I do that it’s not the name that makes the man.” Mom pressed a hand against her heart. “It’s what’s in here.”
Lily grimaced—because what she’d said to Declan…not only was it mean-spirited, but it also wasn’t true. He was so much more than his family name. Just like Lily was so much more than her success or failure.
Maybe success really was overrated. And maybe it had more to do with the state of her heart than a list of her accomplishments.
The thought was a balm—but maybe a thorn as well.
Lily sighed. “I think I really hurt him, Mom. But he hurt me too.”
“Your dad and I hurt each other all the time. Not intentionally, and not in an abusive way, but it’s called a relationship between two imperfect people. The important thing is what you do afterward.”
“I don’t know what to do now—with my life, or with Declan. He’s probably on the first ferry off the island, anyway.” The thought made her want to roll under the covers and never emerge.
“I don’t think I’d count him out just yet.”
Lily sat up straighter, pushing back the comforter. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I saw him at the door, looking very sad. And how he looked at you when he thought you’d won.”
Goosebumps covered her arms. “How did he look at me?”
“Proud. Maybe even adoring. I think Declan recognizes how very special you are. He looked like there’s nowhere he’d rather be than by your side.”
Oh, Declan. “I don’t know if that’s true anymore.”
Mom leaned in, kissing the top of Lily’s head.
“Even if it’s not, just know that my love for you will never subside.
And neither will God’s. No matter what you do, no matter how you fail or succeed, you are precious because you were created in His image.
You are exactly who you are supposed to be. Because He said so.”
Lily sniffled.
“Who knows. Maybe Declan Kelley will surprise you.”
“Him? Surprise? He’s as straitlaced and predictable as they come.” Reliable and solid too. At least, he had been.
“Ready to get up and take a shower? I have soup on the stove.” Her mother stood. “And soup solves every problem.”
Lily climbed out of the warm covers. “Yeah, but not as well as ice cream.”
Her mother laughed. “That right there is the Lily I love. Always thinking outside the box.” She kissed her cheek and headed out the door.
And right then, Lily knew exactly what she was going to do.