Chapter 6 #2
It rings twice before going to voicemail. At least his phone’s on, but him not answering adds to the weight on my chest. As I head down to the kitchen, I decide that I need to drive over to check on him.
My parents are sitting at the breakfast table, Mom with a book and Dad with his tablet, making quiet conversation between sips of coffee.
Mom notices me first. She smiles when I shuffle in, but it fades just a little, like she can sense something’s different. She scoots over on the bench, patting the spot beside her. I walk over and sit next to her.
Dad looks up at me from his tablet, a worry line creasing his forehead. Great. My thoughts must be all over my face, because both of them are already looking at me like they’re bracing for impact. I take a deep breath and collect my thoughts.
My parents are the best humans I know, and I’m not afraid they’ll be angry or judgmental. But disappointment? That’s the one thing I don’t think I could handle. That would hurt more than anything else.
I don’t see the point in hiding from them. I don’t want to. They've always made open communication a priority in our family. I’ve never been scared to tell them anything because of that, and right now, I couldn’t be more grateful for it.
“Cullen, darling.” Mom reaches over to take my hand, her easy smile returning. “Whatever’s going on, you know your dad and I are here for you.”
I nod and let out a slow breath, squeezing her hand a little tighter. “So, uh… I don’t know where to start.”
“The beginning is usually a good place,” Dad encourages with a smile.
“Right.” I pause, rubbing my palms on my thighs before forcing the words out. “When I was sixteen, I started noticing… guys.” I swallow hard and glance between my parents. They’ve got their best poker faces on, not giving anything away, so I keep going.
“Some… things happened that made me repress those thoughts. I locked up that side of me tight and never let it surface again.” I pause, breath catching in my throat. “But now it’s like that box has split open, and everything I tried to hide is spilling out, whether I want it to or not.”
Dad reaches across the table and takes my hand, his smile so proud it nearly knocks the breath from my lungs. He nods once, and I keep going.
“So, what I’m trying to say is, I’m bisexual,” I exhale. “It’s been hidden in the back of my mind ever since I sealed it away a couple of years ago. But things have… changed. And now I don’t want to hide from myself, or from you two, anymore.”
“When did you acknowledge this, sweetheart?” Mom asks.
“Consciously? This morning.” I glance at her and catch the same proud smile Dad wore, but with a few tears welling in her eyes.
Even with both of them looking so genuinely happy I told them, there’s still this weight pressing on my chest. An unease I can’t quite shake.
“Are you guys upset?” I ask, voice small. “I just… I can see myself for who I really am, and I didn’t want to hide that from you. But if you’re disappointed—”
“Why on earth would you think we’re disappointed?” Dad gives my hand a small squeeze. “Son, you’re smart, kind, and one hell of a friend. We couldn’t be more proud that you felt safe enough to come tell us. Who you love does not change that.”
I take a shaky breath and lean my head back against the kitchen wall. Releasing my parents’ hands, I run mine down my face. The heaviness is still there, but telling them helped lighten the load. At least a little.
“Something else is bothering you.” Mom’s eyes search mine.
“Hadley and I aren’t doing well, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. My head is still in it, but emotionally…” I trail off, unsure of how to finish my thought.
“Do you think coming into your sexuality is influencing how you feel about her?” Dad asks, sounding a lot like the clinician he is.
“No, it’s not that. She’s… changed. She’s not the same girl I started dating when we were fifteen. We’re both different, I guess.”
“That’s life, Cullen,” Dad says. “We grow up, we change. Some parts of us stay the same. The question is, is Hadley someone worth fighting for?”
I hesitate to answer. I used to think it was Hadley and me till the end. That nothing would tear us apart. But the joke’s on me, because we seem to be imploding all on our own.
“I don’t know,” I say honestly.
“If yes wasn’t your first thought, then you may already have your answer.” Mom pats my hand, then gets up from the table, clearing their empty coffee mugs and taking them to the sink.
She comes back, pulling me into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling us. We want you to be happy, and we don’t want you to hide. You’re too special for that.”
I chuckle, my eyes misting over. “You have to say that. You’re my mom.”
“Hmm, maybe. Or maybe it’s just the truth.” She kisses my cheek, then goes to clean up from breakfast.
Dad is looking at me, his gaze assessing. I know that look. It’s his I’m trying to read your mind look.
“What is it?” I ask, feeling self-conscious under his scrutiny.
“Just curious. What things have changed to help you come to this realization?”
Well, I’m certainly not going to tell him I’ve found myself crushing on my best friend. So, I go for the safest answer I can give.
“I just think things being rocky with Hadley have sort of jolted things loose.”
That’s all the explanation I’m going to give him, and thankfully, he doesn’t push.
“I really am proud of you, Cull.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
He winks, then goes on about his morning like I didn’t just give life-altering news.
My pocket starts vibrating, startling me. I pull it out and smile, my heart doing a weird leap in my chest.
HUD: I’m alive… sort of. Bring tacos.
I laugh and reply with a thumbs up. Seeing his name pop up on my screen sends a flurry of butterflies soaring in my stomach. I don’t even realize I’m still grinning like a fool when my mom nudges my shoulder.
“Going to see Hudson?” she asks, a knowing smile shining in her eyes.
My cheeks heat, and I clear my throat, smiling to cover my embarrassment. “Yeah, he asked for tacos. I bet he has one hell of a hangover.” I frown. “He passed out before we even left the party, so I had to haul him home and into bed.”
“Hudson is lucky to have you. I hope he knows that.” My mom rests her hand on my cheek, her eyes searching mine. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear she could read every dark corner of my mind. And maybe she can. She is a mom, after all.
“Thanks, Mom. I’m gonna get going.”
“Have fun.”
I push up from the table, but a thought stops me. “Can we keep everything between us for now? I needed y'all to know, but I’m not ready to tell anyone else.”
“Of course,” Dad agrees, his voice steady. “This is your timeline. We’re here for you no matter how fast or slow you decide to go.”
“Thanks. I love you guys.”
“We love you too, sweetheart.”
And with that, I head out. Eager to find tacos and see Hud.