Chapter 30
Thirty
Cullen
Hudson’s been at my house for four days now, and I wish I could say it’s been amazing, but it’s been… weird. He’s here, but not all the way. Like his body showed up, but his spark didn’t.
He still cracks jokes, still leans in for kisses, and slides his fingers between mine, but it all feels like muscle memory. His smiles don’t reach his eyes, and there’s this hesitation in his touch, like he’s second-guessing whether he even has the right to want comfort.
We haven’t gone past some light petting, either, but it’s not the sexual stuff that I miss. It’s the way he used to curl into me like I was something safe. Like he believed I could hold the weight of him without dropping it.
I knew what his dad said cut deep, but I didn’t expect this wall. I wasn’t prepared for the silence in the space between us.
I caught a moment alone with my dad to ask what he thought, and he explained that Hudson usually manages his depression well enough to seem okay on the surface.
He called it “high-functioning depression” and rattled off symptoms—loss of interest, low energy, mood swings, irritability.
It all tracks. It’s like now that I’m looking for it, I see it everywhere.
Dad told me to be patient, supportive, and encouraging. That it could take days or weeks for him to come out of it. “Or until Eric gets his head out of his ass,” were his exact words.
He also got another note in his locker today, second one this week, but wouldn’t let me read it. Just shoved it in his pocket and pretended it never happened. Except I saw the way he flinched and the fear behind his eyes.
When I asked him about it at lunch, he snapped and told me to mind my business, then walked away. I didn’t follow, sensing he just needed a little space.
I’m coming back upstairs from making us an after-school snack, stopping shy of my cracked bedroom door when I hear Hud on the phone.
My parents gave him the option of staying in the guest room or my room.
To my surprise, they didn’t blink when he picked mine.
Dad tried to joke, saying “at least I can’t get Hudson pregnant,” but Mom gave him the look, and he slunk away like a scolded dog.
It earned the smallest laugh from Hud, and that felt like a win.
“I don’t want to go, Mom.” You can hear how exhausted he is, like just speaking is a chore.
I tap twice on the door and poke my head in.
Hud waves me over with his free arm, the other covering his eyes. I set down the plate of sandwiches I made and climb onto the bed, lacing our fingers together and brushing a kiss across the back of his hand. A flicker of a smile curves his lips. It’s small, but real. It feels like a gift.
“I went to Junior prom last year. Why does it matter if I skip this one?”
Ah. So that’s what the call’s about. Prom’s this weekend, and it sounds like his mom is pushing him to go.
I give his hand a squeeze. We talked about this a couple of nights ago when my mom brought up tux shopping.
Hudson had said he didn’t see the point since we can’t even go together.
I told him I’d be happy staying home, eating pizza, and binge-watching all three Lord of the Rings movies if that’s what he wanted.
But I’ve also rented a tux. Just in case.
He sighs into the phone. “Okay, Mom. I’ll go to the tux appointment tomorrow.” He pauses. “I don’t want Dad’s help. No, Cull has a dentist appointment. I’ll see if Ella can go with me.”
He smiles weakly, then ends the call with a tired, “Yeah. Love you, too.”
He tosses his phone to the foot of the bed and groans. “Guess we’re going to prom.”
I smile. “I think it’ll be fun. We can dance with the group and just hang out with everyone. I know it’s not how we pictured it, but we’ll still be there together.”
He sighs but doesn’t say anything.
“You could take Ella as your date,” I say out of the blue. It was a little word vomit, but Hud is close with Ella. Regardless of how I feel about her, I have to admit, she’s been solid for Hudson. I can’t fault her as a friend.
Hud looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. “You want me to ask Ella to prom?”
I shrug. “Why not? I can be your charming third wheel,” I tease, grinning wide.
Hudson rolls onto his side to face me. His expression is soft but tired. “That’s not fair to you.”
I grab his hand, my thumb caressing his knuckles. “Hud, we put ourselves in this situation. And even if we hadn’t, how do you think people would react to us showing up as a couple?”
He goes quiet for a moment, face unreadable but eyes locked on mine like he’s searching for something. “Are you worried what people will say?”
I want to say no. That I don’t care. But the reality is, some people aren’t going to be like our parents. I haven’t obsessed over it, but yeah… it’s crossed my mind.
“Yes and no,” I admit. “I’m confident in us. I’m ready to take you on a real date where I can kiss you and hold your hand. All of it.”
He smiles and leans in, giving me a soft, lingering kiss. “But?” he asks, pulling back just enough to look into my eyes.
“But people are dicks. There’s always going to be someone with an ignorant opinion. And I wish I could shield you from all the dicks in the world, but I know I can’t.”
A mischievous smirk curls his lips, a flicker of light returning in his eyes. “You want to shield me from all the dicks in the world, huh?”
“Of course I do,” I answer, not catching the double meaning.
He draws his hand down to the waistband of my basketball shorts, hooking a finger inside. My breath catches.
“Even this dick?” he teases, his hand slipping beneath the elastic, cupping me through my boxer briefs.
“No,” I groan. “That one’s free use. But only for you, baby.”
That grin, the wide, wicked one that reaches his eyes, hits me like lightning. It’s the most alive he’s looked in days, and I’ll ride that high all night if he lets me.
“Your parents out for the night?” he asks, lips brushing just beneath my ear, each word making my skin tingle.
“Gala,” I manage. “Mom’s realtor thing. They’ll be out late.”
He keeps kissing, working down my neck, over the fabric of my shirt like it’s not even there. When he reaches the hem, he shoves my shirt up, pressing kisses to my abs, making my muscles twitch with each one.
Then he drags his teeth along the waistband of my shorts, keeping those piercing blue eyes locked on mine. He latches onto the elastic and tugs them down with his mouth, slow as sin. I lift my hips to help, too turned on to think straight.
Well, that was fucking hot.
He climbs back up, straddling me with a cocky smirk on his face. I grab his ass with both hands, squeezing and grinding into him. “You’re feeling playful,” I tease.
“I’m feeling better,” he says simply.
That’s all I need to hear. I don’t question it, just let the relief wash over me. “Good. I’ve missed this ass.” I bring my hands around to undo the button of his gray chino shorts.
He leans in and kisses me like he means to ruin me, all lips, tongue, and need. Whatever switch flipped in him tonight, I’m not stopping it.
“I want you to ride me,” I rumble against his mouth.
“I plan on it.” He smirks, biting my bottom lip hard enough to make me moan. Then he snakes down my body again, dragging my boxers off as he goes.
My cock springs free, hard as steel.
He tosses my boxers aside and wastes no time shoving my legs to my chest and licking me in one long stroke from ass to tip.
I gasp, stars bursting behind my eyelids.
He swallows me whole, holding me in his throat, and I lose my grip on reality for a second.
My fingers bury in his hair as I fight to keep from coming already.
“Damn, Hud. You suck cock like a pro.”
He pulls back, spit soaking his chin before he takes me even deeper, like he’s trying to prove a point.
“Get naked,” I moan. “And put that ass in my face. I need to taste you, too.”
He strips down fast. God, he’s sexy. He climbs up and straddles my face, leaning down to suck me again while his ass hovers just where I want it, his dick throbbing against my chest.
I give him a sharp smack, leaving a pink handprint. He moans around my cock, taking me impossibly deeper. The fact he can take me so deep without gagging is almost my undoing.
Spreading his cheeks, I run my tongue from behind his balls to the top of his crack, slow and teasing. He shudders, so I do it again, until he’s writhing on my face.
In my side vision, I spot the bottle of lube waiting on the nightstand.
I smirk. Someone was anticipating a good time today.
I grab the bottle and coat my fingers, then start working him open. He’s already relaxed and eager, and by the time I’ve got three fingers sliding in easy, he’s rocking back on my hand, panting.
“Fuck, baby. Sit on my cock and take what you want from me.”
I let my head drop back, dazed with lust, as he teases the head of my cock with his tongue one last time. He shifts down my body, still facing away, and aligns himself. With his hands braced on my thighs, he sinks down, inch by delicious inch.
Holy fuck.
I’ll never get used to the heat and pressure. It’s pure bliss.
It’s still surreal that I get to have him like this—completely.
My chest is already sweat slicked, so I tear off my shirt and admire the view in front of me. “Holy hell, that’s a fantastic sight,” I groan, my breathing ragged.
“Can you see us in the mirror?” he asks, voice low.
I look to my left and damn. The dresser mirror reflects everything. His dick is standing proud, and his body is stretched around my cock.
Our eyes meet in the glass.
With his hands braced on my thighs, he rises on his knees and drops—hard. My breath punches out, my lungs momentarily forgetting how to work.
“Yes! Do that again.”
He does, over and over, until I’m gripping his waist and meeting him thrust for thrust. Hud leans back and braces his hands on my hips, changing the angle. He rides me in short, fast grinds, my dick hitting deep inside.
With him in this position, I can see both of us fully in the mirror. The sight is so fucking sexy I’m in danger of losing it. I bite my lip, the sting staving off my orgasm.
Hudson is panting from exertion, but he never slows. My man’s a fucking athlete, in and out of the bedroom, and holy hell, I’m thanking every deity that exists.
“You’re so sexy taking what you want, baby. You’ve got me ready to explode,” I growl.
“Fuck, me too. Come with me. Please, Cull,” he begs.
The mirror shows him jacking himself while he rides me, the muscles in his arm flexing with each stroke. His eyes are shut, lost in the moment. I take a mental snapshot before heat rushes down my spine and a surge of adrenaline hits.
“I’m gonna fill this ass up, baby,” I warn, right before I come hard, every nerve lit like the Fourth of July. I fight to keep my eyes open so I can watch Hudson shudder, then spill over his hand.
He slumps forward over my thighs, breathless, sweaty, and cum-soaked. I run my hand down his spine as I try to catch my own breath.
After a minute, Hud slides off my softening dick and crawls up to lie beside me. I open an arm, and he curls into me, his head resting on my shoulder.
“I needed that.”
I snort a laugh. “You and me both.” I glance over and see his hair glued to his forehead with sweat. His fingers move in absent circles over my chest.
“I’m sorry I’ve been out of it. I’ve tried to be present, but it’s hard,” he mumbles into my damp chest.
“Don’t apologize. You can’t help that. I’m just happy you came back to me today.”
“It’s weird. It’s like a switch flips and the haze just… clears,” he explains.
I pull him tighter and kiss the top of his head. We lie there for a while, soaking each other in. I’m replaying our little slideshow in my head when the question that’s been circling my brain comes back around.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Duh,” he deadpans.
I roll my eyes. “Have you always wanted to be a bottom? Or is that just… how we ended up?”
He lifts up to meet my eyes. “I always pictured you taking the lead, so when it happened, it just felt natural.”
“That makes sense,” I say nonchalantly.
He narrows his eyes. “What aren’t you asking, Cull?”
Guess my poker face sucks. My nerves flare, and I blurt the real question. “Would you be interested in topping at all?”
Hudson blinks, surprised. Then his gaze darkens, and a slow, wicked grin curls his mouth.
Next thing I know, Hud is poised above me, my wrists pinned and a strong hand on my throat. If I could spontaneously combust, it would be from the dominance rolling off him. That look in his eyes? Fuck.
“Oh, I’ve thought about it, baby. I just didn’t think you’d want to go there. My bad for assuming.”
He squeezes lightly, and I gasp, eyes rolling back in my skull.
“Oh, you like that,” he teases.
“Fuck yes, I do.”
Who knew I’d be into being choked? But with Hudson’s hand on my throat, I’d do anything he wanted.
Anything.
“Good to know,” he whispers into my ear.
He’s gonna kill me.
“But first things first,” he drawls, sliding down my chest and hovering over my reawakened dick. “We need to take care of this situation and work this tight hole open so it can eventually take my cock.”
He reaches up, swipes his finger through the sticky cum that dripped from his ass onto my abs, then brings it to my hole.
Smirking, he looks up. “This is gonna be fun.” Then he dives down, swallowing me whole while slipping a confident finger inside me.
Sparks fly behind my eyes, euphoria hitting like a train.
Yeah. He’s definitely gonna kill me.
But what a way to go.