Chapter 33
Thirty-Three
Hudson
I didn’t know I could be such a stubborn little shit, but apparently, I’ve got a knack for it.
I’ve been ignoring Cull for two days, even though he’s done everything he can to get me to talk.
The only contact we’ve had is his nightly “I love you” text.
I always respond to those messages, no matter how upset I am.
Keeping those notes from him would hurt, I knew that, but I figured knowing what they said would be worse. He’s already carrying so much because of me, and the guilt is eating me alive.
I hate that I’m dragging this shit into his life.
Cull didn’t deserve me lashing out, but fear is a constant shadow mocking me, telling me I’ll never be good enough. My dad apologized, but his words still echo, faint but sharp enough to split me open.
So pushing Cull away is easier, even if it’s cowardly.
“I need to talk to you.”
I register the voice a split second before Cullen yanks me out of the hallway and all the way to the student parking lot. I let him lead me over to his truck without a fight, even as my heart pounds.
He lets go, and I fold my arms across my chest. “What do you want, Cull?”
I know I’m being ridiculous, but my brain’s in chaos, and I can’t decide if I want to push him away or throw myself into his arms.
He must sense the war inside me, because he grabs me again and shoves me against the side of his truck. My back hits the metal, and I grunt, his mouth crashing into mine.
Our lips fight, his tongue demanding entry. I’m weak for this man, so I open for him eagerly.
The short, intense kiss conveys everything he can’t verbalize and reminds me why I wanted to protect him in the first place. I just need to find a better way that doesn’t involve breaking his trust again.
Cull leans his forehead against mine, fists still balled in my white polo.
“Stop shutting me out,” he grits, his voice low and raw. “You don’t want to be treated like you can’t handle shit, so stop acting like I can’t handle it either.”
I blink, caught off guard by the crack in his voice.
“Keeping things from me doesn’t protect me. It leaves me in the dark, and that’s more dangerous than knowing. So please… trust me to know what I can handle, just like I trust you to know your limits.” His grip softens. “I’m not going anywhere. No matter what kind of shit life throws at us.”
I sag against the side of the Chevy, the weight of everything I’ve been trying to hold together pressing down on me.
“I’m scared,” I rasp. I clear my throat, hoping to push some strength back into my voice. “I can’t let anything happen to you because it would destroy me. But I can’t shake the feeling that this is all going to fall apart, either because of my issues or something else.”
“We can’t always control the future,” he says. “But if we don’t talk, we’re screwing ourselves from the start. I know you’re stuck on the shit your dad said, but that’s his opinion. It doesn’t get to be our reality.”
He lifts my chin so I’m forced to meet his eyes. “Please understand that I need you just as much as you need me. There will be days where I need you to be the strong one. And on the days when we both can’t be? We’ll sit together in the storm until it passes.”
My chest aches. I lean in and kiss him softly, pouring everything I am into it. “I’m sorry I’ve been an ass this week. I just got scared and overwhelmed and… I shut down. It’s easier to push people away than face my shit. But I’ll work on it if you promise to be patient with me.”
“I’ll wait as long as it takes,” he declares with a smirk, “but I’ll also call you on your shit when I have to.”
I glance around and realize we’re exposed in the middle of the parking lot, making out as if we’re invisible. “We should go back in before someone sees us out here.”
He grins, mischief lighting up his eyes. “I have a better idea.”
My stomach flips. I love when he gets that look.
He laces his fingers with mine and tugs me across the lot. He leads us towards the football field, then behind the fieldhouse. Once we’re out of sight, he pins me against the back wall, his mouth finding my neck.
“You’re awfully pushy today,” I manage, already breathless.
“I do what I have to do to make my point,” he growls against my throat.
“And what point are you trying to make now?” I ask, fingers weaving into his hair.
He kisses a slow line from ear to ear, tracing every sensitive spot he knows by heart.
My dick aches, straining against my jeans, Cullen noticing.
He drops to his knees in the soft grass, eyes gleaming with intent.
Popping the button on my jeans, he lifts my shirt to kiss below my navel, then drags my zipper down, slow and deliberate.
“No point,” he teases, grinning. “Just showing how much I love you. And maybe interrogate you while your dick’s near my mouth. That seems like the best way to get you to talk.”
I look down at him, heart thudding. “I love you.”
“I know.” He smirks, freeing my cock. He wraps his warm hand around me and swipes his tongue across the tip.
My head thunks back against the wall, a groan spilling from my chest. It’s been almost a week since we’ve touched each other like this, and every nerve ending is screaming for him.
His mouth is wet and hot as he wraps his lips around the head and sucks hard. I swear I see stars. If I knew government secrets, they’d be his in ten seconds flat.
“Fuck, what do you want to know?”
He huffs a laugh around my length, the curve of his lips making my hips jerk. He deep-throats me, gagging.
I nearly come on the spot.
He eases back and stares up at me with those dangerous eyes. “What did the notes say?”
Damnit. Not the question I was hoping for.
“Those are a boner killer,” I grumble.
He shrugs and dives back down, his tongue swirling expertly before pulling off again. “Fair enough. What was your meeting with Principal Ward about?”
He keeps sucking like it’s his full-time job, and my brain short-circuits. “Oh, tha-that? He needed to tell me… damn!” I grab his hair, fucking his mouth as my orgasm builds fast.
Wet sounds mixing with his moans reach my ears, and I realize he’s jacking himself. He gasps, throat tightening on my dick. He stills, then shudders as his release rockets through him.
That tips me right to the edge, but just as my own orgasm rushes down, he pulls off.
“Don’t stop! Please, fuck. Don’t stop!”
“Answer my question then.” He licks a line from my balls to the tip, then sucks me deep into his mouth. I’m shaking, my vision going white at the edges.
“I-I’m the valedictorian,” I gasp. “Valedictorian!”
Then I come down his throat, white-hot spurts pulsing from my tip.
He chokes a little but greedily sucks every last drop from me. When he stands, a proud grin splits his face. “I knew it. I’m so freaking proud of you.”
“Really? Because I had no clue,” I respond through harsh pants.
“Sure, Hudson. Everyone knew it would be you.”
I just shrug, still dazed. “If you say so. Now I’ve gotta write a speech. What the hell am I supposed to say to a bunch of teenage asshats?” I mutter, putting my dick away.
Cullen laughs and kisses my temple. “Hell if I know. Google it. Or I’ll help. You know I’m good with words.” He waggles his brows. I roll my eyes as we walk back toward the school entrance, the AC hitting our flushed skin as we push open the doors.
“I don’t think the school administration would appreciate me comparing life’s tough obstacles to a hard cock,” I deadpan.
He snorts. “But it does sound poetic.”
I shake my head and steer us toward the cafeteria. There’s still about ten minutes left in the lunch period, and I’d love to grab a quick bite before fifth.
“I need to wash my hands, but I’m starving,” Cull grumbles.
“Just use the janitor’s sink in the corner so you don’t waste time trekking all the way to the bathroom.”
“Good idea.”
We walk into the cafeteria, and the room goes dead silent. A hundred eyes swing toward us. One pair, nearly the same ocean blue as mine, burns with fury.
We stop just short of the table where all our friends are gathered, their expressions a mix of surprise and unease. Ella looks checked out, staring blankly at her plate of untouched food.
“What’s going on?” Cull asks cautiously.
Hadley rises. The closer she gets, the more devastation I see etched across her face.
My insides clench. I sense Cullen go rigid beside me, both of us knowing what’s coming.
She lifts her phone and holds it up to our faces.
My heart drops.
“How did you get that?” Cullen’s voice is hard, furious, but I’m just stunned. It’s a candid photo Mom snapped the night of prom, when Cull kissed me on the staircase.
“She’s not the only one, dude,” Archer calls from the table.
My head jerks in his direction hard enough my neck pops. He nudges his phone across the table. Same photo. My eyes scan the table, Matt’s phone lit up with the same image.
Someone’s outed us.
“You said it was just a stupid dare.” The hurt and pain in her voice flays me.
“Hads—” Cullen starts.
“How long?”
We don’t answer. We just stand there, guilty.
“HOW LONG?” she screams, shattering the silence like glass.
“Since the night I broke up with you,” Cullen admits, voice broken.
Hadley gasps like she’s been stabbed, folding in on herself. Her breaths turn shallow and fast, chest heaving like she’s suffocating.
I know these symptoms intimately.
I step forward, hands outstretched. “Hadley, you’re having a panic attack. We need to get you out of here.”
She’s trembling. Tears flood her eyes, clinging to the edges before slipping down in thick streaks. “Don’t act like you care about me,” she spits.
Ella gets up, trying to comfort her, arm sliding across Hadley’s shoulders. She shrugs Ella off like she’s radioactive, then turns on her with venom in her voice.
“Did you know?”
Ella’s face crumples and gives an almost imperceptible nod.
Hadley’s mascara runs in black rivers down her cheeks as she turns back to us.
“Who took that picture?”
No more lying. I meet her eyes, every inch of me aching with remorse.
“Mom.”
She sobs, her whole body wracked. She’s teetering on the edge of passing out. One more second and she’ll drop.
I try to reach for her, desperate now. She’s about to collapse. I know the feeling. I’ve been there. But as I step closer, she hauls off and slaps me. My head jerks sideways, the taste of blood on my tongue.
Cullen’s eyes go wide, his hand shooting out to steady me.
“I hate you!” she screams.
Then she’s gone, running from the cafeteria.