bad idea
OTHELLO
I should have been at the airport an hour ago, but lack of certainty held me up.
The thought of seeing my cousin Gavin for the first time in three years feels like I’m opening a healed wound.
Memories I fought hard to get out of my mind are back again.
And honestly, I’m not even sure if I’m ready to see him.
But my promise to his mother, my Aunt Mimi, is the only thing pushing me forward.
I check my watch, second-guessing this Uber ride.
She’s driving like I didn’t tell her ten minutes ago that I am running late for my flight, and it’s taking everything in me not to tell her to put the pedal to the damn medal, but it’s not her fault.
It was my procrastination, and the seven times I hesitated to leave on time.
I probably should have driven myself to the airport, but the thought of leaving my luxury car in a public garage for a week made me shiver.
Hell no.
AVEN: Hey, can you talk? I read your manuscript. It’s giving bitter vibes.
I roll my eyes at the text from my agent.
She’s been on my ass the past several days about this book I’m writing.
It’s a new genre, something that’s totally out of the norm of my philosophy style.
I mean, writing poetry isn’t out of my element.
I’ve been writing poetry since I was thirteen.
But my readers are drawn to the unbiased, fact-based narrative that I bring to them.
OTHELLO: can i call you when i touch down in Maui?
AVEN: No prob.
I wonder what Aven is going to drill me on now.
But I push that thought out of my mind, because I’m not even sure I want to release something like this.
How would they feel if I release a book full of raw, unfiltered, and honest reflections written straight from the heart?
It’s a risky change, and it could throw people for a loop.
“Where you headed?” the driver asks, breaking into my thoughts.
I look up, our eyes meeting in the rear-view mirror. She gives me this flirty eye look before returning them to the road ahead. The app said her name is Clover. Probably in her early twenties, which is way too young for me. Not that I am checking her out.
“Hawaii,” I answer.
“Nice! I’ve never been. How’s the weather there this time of year?”
“Um, sunny. Hot. Although I’ve heard there can be rain showers sometimes.”
“Lucky you. Hopefully it doesn’t rain on your vacation.”
What a play of words. I almost laugh. Cause lucky me, I am not. I feel like it’s already raining on my vacation cause I can’t think of anything more aggravating than going to this wedding.
“I hope it doesn’t rain either,” I tell her.
I’m about to keep the conversation going when I get an incoming text from the #WadeForEachOther group chat that pops up on my phone. The chat includes the bride, groom, and their entire wedding party.
GAVIN: Yo! It’s the week we’ve all been waiting for. Can’t thank you all enough for wanting to celebrate with us.
JAMES: I’m just ready for an epic bachelor party.
TODD: Ass and titties in Hawaii! Let’s gooooo!
DANIELLE: So no one told you guys it’s coed?
VERNON: Wait. What?!
I shake my head and mute the chat before sliding my phone inside my bag.
Shit. Maybe this is a bad idea. I shouldn’t be this wound up. When that Will You Be My Groomsman box was delivered to my door, I could have told Gavin no.
Hell, I still can.
I can tell him something came up. Something I ate last night has my ass erupting like a volcano every 20 minutes.
Or I can say I have a killer migraine that won’t go away.
I toss the ideas around in my head. But the last thing I want to do is speak something horrible into existence.
Dealing with Gavin and the bougie wedding party for a week shouldn’t be that bad.
I can’t say I was shocked when Gavin asked me. Me and the rest of the world watched the clip of him proposing to Carina on a rooftop in Greece.
I counted down the days until a text would come to my phone asking me to be his best man. Mimi was living then, and she couldn’t stop replaying that reel of Gavin getting down on one knee without bawling her eyes out.
“It would make me so happy to see you boys back on good terms,” she’d say.
“We’re all we got. Life is too short to be angry at the people you love.
” And I knew if she was telling me that, she was definitely telling her son.
Because when the invitation to be Gavin’s best man came, her eyes glowed with something close to desperation and hope.
My cousin had asked me because of his mother, and I’d said yes for the same reason.
The ringing of my cell phone breaks me out of my thoughts.
Maybe Carina Sterling.
My chest tightens. Until now, my communication with Gavin and Carina had been through text and email. This is the first time she’s called my phone in three years. My thumb hovers over the screen before I finally answer the call. “Hello?”
“Hey, Ozzy!”
Carina’s voice comes through the phone like a silver bell. I can’t help but notice how bright and optimistic she sounds, like a woman excited that her time has finally come, like a woman who has moved on from the past.
“Carina, how are you?”
“Great! I’m checking in ’cause we haven’t heard much from you. You’re still coming, right?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m headed to the airport now.” I leave out the part where I’m running late.
“Great! Gavin owes me a hundred dollars. He said you wouldn’t show up.”
To this, I pause.
Wow.
So, this is what they think of me? Shit, I don’t blame them. I have been distant. My communication in the group chat has been null and void, and I should be taking my role as the Best Man more seriously. But no one has asked me to do anything, and I wonder if that’s why.
I didn’t miss some of the petty remarks and jokes in the chat geared toward me, but as time went on, the wedding party just ignored me altogether, and it was like I wasn’t even there. Hell, I don’t know over half of them anyway. Only Carina’s best friend, Danielle, and her cousin, Jaylah.
And I’m sure this break-up is a hot topic.
Considering…
The bet Carina and Gavin conjured up makes sense. But that doesn’t make me feel any better. If anything, I feel even more uneasy about this whole thing, because what else has been said about me and to whom? Luckily, I’ll never see any of these people again after this week.
“Are you sure you don’t want to fly with us?” Carina asks in a sing-song voice.
I know that tone all too well. And I know if she were standing in front of me right now, she’d be batting those long lashes. It was her bratty, “let me have my way” look that Carina used a lot. The look always worked. Even with me once upon a time.
“We will get there twice as fast. I’m sure your flight is probably over nine hours.”
“Ten, to be exact, and no, Carina. I’m good. I already paid for my ticket.”
“Oh, blah boo!” she blubbered nonchalantly. “It’s not like my daddy can’t make a call. Fly with us. It’ll be a lot better than flying commercial, and you can finally meet everyone in person.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
Carina scoffs in disgust, then draws a sharp breath. “Look, the wedding party is supposed to be together. I have a lot of things planned. Plus, Gavin is anxious to see you.”
Anxious. What kind of anxious is my cousin right now? Anxious like he doesn’t want to see me either? Or anxious, as in, “I’m glad you’re here, let’s put the past behind us, and have a great week”?
She’d just said Gavin bet a hundred bucks that I wasn’t coming. Was he hoping that I wouldn’t?
The tightness in my chest grows tighter.
“You’re going to miss out on all the fun, Ozzy.”
You can stop calling me that, I want to tell her. But instead I say, “It’s okay. I’ll see you guys when I land.”
“And what time is that? We’ll land around one in the afternoon. We can wait for you?”
I wouldn’t get to Maui until around three p.m.
“I don’t want to hold you guys up. I’ll get a rental car.”
“Seriously?” Carina pouts. “I’m starting to feel like you don’t want to be around us.”
Ding! Ding! Ding! Correct.
“You’re being difficult,” Carina adds.
I cradle my head in my hands, massaging my temples.
I can feel Clover peeking at me through the mirror, intrigued by my conversation, but failing miserably at making it inconspicuous. I almost tell her to bust a U and take my ass back home.
“Listen, Carina, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be difficult,” I say evenly.
“My flight was made months before you decided to fly everyone to Hawaii on a private jet. It’s too late to change it, and I don’t want handouts.
I’ll meet you all at the resort. We’ll have fun when I get there.
” The last sentence comes out through gritted teeth.
Carina lets out a strangled grunt that sounds somewhere between offended and baffled. “Fine,” she snaps. “Call it what you want, but you know what people will think, right?”
“I don’t give a…” I stop myself, my breathing elevating. “TSA is a pain right now. I gotta go,” I lie.
“Bye.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, ending the call. I almost slam my head against the window. But I get a vision of my aunt. Her smiling face flashing in the reflection of the glass. The smile she had before she got sick.
Before…
I let out a heavy sigh.
This is all for you, auntie.
I need to remember that when I start to feel like this. I’m doing this for the woman who has been like a mother to me.
Don’t lie to yourself. That’s not the only reason.