oh, shit
OTHELLO
It’s Gavin and Carina’s wedding day, and the first thing I think when I see Gavin come out in his suit is how happy my aunt would be in this exact moment. The heavy absence of her in this room is a physical ache, but looking at my cousin, I can still see her reflection in his eyes.
Gavin stands tall in the middle of the groom’s suite. The suit looks tailored for him, and I mean it literally is, but it fits his character and everything he stands for. Honorable. Distinguished, yet charismatic.
“You lookin’ good, G,” I say and pull him into a quick dap.
“Thanks, bro.”
He adjusts the collar of his lightweight suit jacket. It’s custom-made from a premium, crisp ivory linen blend. He’s left the top two buttons of his breathable white cotton shirt undone, ditching the tie entirely for a look that is relaxed yet completely sophisticated.
It’s a deliberate step up from the rest of us. Me, James, Vernon, and Todd are wearing the same cotton shirt under tailored vests, our sleeves rolled up to our elbows.
“You ready for this?” I ask Gavin.
James approaches, giving Gavin’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Listen, Gav, if things go sideways, I’ll hotwire a speedboat and get you outta here.”
Gavin draws in a breath, clearly not amused. I give James a “what the hell” look, and he shrugs and walks off back to the bar with Todd and Vernon.
“You got this, man,” I tell Gavin. “Don’t listen to him. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.”
Gavin looks up at me like a deer in headlights before he wipes sweat from his brow and turns away from me.
“I don’t know,” he says, adjusting the cuffs of his jacket. “Fuck. It’s too hot for this.”
He rips the jacket off of him and throws it on the couch.
“Yo. Relax,” I say once he starts pacing and checking his watch every five seconds.
Gavin pauses, pulling at his collar.
“I am relaxed.”
Todd looks over from the bar and laughs. “You look nowhere near relaxed, G.”
Gavin slumps onto the sofa next to his discarded jacket.
“It’s hot in here.”
“It’s not hot,” Vernon confirms. “That’s just you.”
“Yeah, Gavin, just relax.”
“I can’t. I don’t know. I just…”
“Bro, what’s wrong? Get outta your head,” I tell him, plopping next to him on the couch. “You’re just nervous. Once you stand out there and see Carina, you’ll remember exactly why you asked her to marry you.”
James steps up, handing over a crystal glass with amber liquid. “Here, knock this back to take the edge off.”
Gavin drains the whiskey within seconds, and then slams the glass on the coffee table, hitting it with a sharp clack.
I reach out and clasp the back of Gavin’s neck, the same way I used to do when we were kids, and I was trying to talk sense into him.
“Listen to me,” I say, forcing him to meet my gaze. “You proposed to her for a reason. You and I are good. The past is done. Focus on your woman.”
The panicked look in Gavin’s eyes softens, and he nods. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay. I can do this.”
The double doors click open, and the wedding coordinator enters the groom's quarters, a headset clipped over her sleek blonde hair and an iPad cradled against her chest.
“Mr. Wade, Carina is in place. She’s ready for the first look.”
Gavin takes one last deep breath, straightens his shoulders, and nods at the coordinator before following her out of the room.
“Come on,” James says, breaking the silence as he gestures toward the massive, floor-to-ceiling glass windows lining the back of the suite. “Let’s see how the boy holds up.”
Todd, Vernon, and I follow him over, standing shoulder-to-shoulder as we press close to the glass, looking straight out into the courtyard.
Directly opposite us, the bridal suite windows frame an identical scene.
The women are huddled together just like us, a striking line of lavender gowns pressed against the glass, eager to get a glimpse of Gavin and Carina’s first look.
A photographer tries to stay off in the cut as he circles around to take pictures of Gavin before Carina’s grand entrance.
When she arrives, she’s a vision in white, the sun catching the beading on her gown.
Gavin is a mess the minute his eyes land on her, and she walks towards him slowly, her fingers wrapped around a bouquet of those white whimsical orchids that have been decorating most of the events this week.
When she finally reaches Gavin, he takes her hand in his.
They are both teary-eyed, laughing nervously and speaking words none of us can hear.
“Who can read lips?” Todd asks.
No one answers. We just watch as the bride and groom talk amongst themselves. An intimate moment unfolding in plain sight.
They laugh, shyly. Carina speaks, nodding. Gavin speaks. Then the smile on Carina’s face wanes. A look that I think confuses us all.
Gavin and I exchange glances. I hear Todd whisper, “What the fuck?” Our eyes don’t tear away as Gavin does most of the talking. Carina listens, more tears welling up in her eyes.
She nods.
He wipes her tears.
She cups his face.
He kisses her lips.
They utter more words. A conversation that looks too intense for a moment meant for a celebration between two lovers minutes away from getting married. Gavin’s mouth moves rapidly now.
An explanation?
His chest heaves, face contorted in grief.
“Oh, shit,” I hear Vernon murmur.
Oh, shit is right.
Carina’s flowers drop to the ground. Her shoulders shake as tears fall from her eyes.
I press my face closer to the window, my breath fogging the glass. A knot forms in my stomach. It’s crystal clear to us all what Gavin is doing.