Chapter 6 #2
“I think she likes you,” Brodie said.
“Get this nasty thing off me,” Wanette’s voice went even higher and squeakier.
For a split second, Brodie wasn’t sure if it was coming from her or from the pig, but one of them definitely was not enjoying the experience. Brodie slid out of the booth, wrapped his arms around the animal’s round belly, and stood up with it.
“Are you sure that you don’t want a pet?” he asked. “I hear you can train them to a litter box, and the kids you are going to have would love it.”
“This is the worst date I’ve ever been on,” she hissed as she picked up her purse and marched out of the café.
“Me, too,” Brodie whispered.
Tertia came out of the kitchen with a mop in her hands and a smile on her face. “Looks like the tornado took your house and left you a pot-bellied pig. What are you going to do with it?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll figure something out,” he said. “Think one of the sisters would want her?”
“Don’t even ask,” Tertia giggled. “That’s your new pet, and I’m telling you right now, Mama will not let it live at the Paradise. She barely tolerates the cat and Pepper.”
“Okay then,” Brodie said. “Sorry about the mess.”
“How was the date going?” Tertia asked as she mopped up the mess.
“Badly. The lady wants a boy toy to father her babies, and one who is willing to live on the beach in California,” Brodie answered.
Tertia had trouble containing the next giggle. “Aunt Bernie is losing her touch.”
Brodie started across the room. “Maybe only with me, but this is my last blind date.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Tertia said. “Bernie is one persistent old gal.”
***
Brodie had no place to go with his newly acquired pet other than the trailer. He set the pig in the back seat of his truck and drove to the farm. Before he got out, he sent a text to his brothers: Come to the farm. Emergency.
He opened the back door, tucked the pig under his arm, and carried it to the trailer. When they were inside, he set the critter on the floor. Like a nosy cat, it sniffed out the place and finally curled up on a blanket that had fallen on the floor and went to sleep.
“What’s the emergency?” Knox burst through the door.
Brodie pointed to the corner. “That is the problem. I can’t take it to the Paradise. Asking Mary Jane to let me keep it would be too much. I didn’t know what else to do other than bring it here. Y’all got any ideas?”
Tripp followed his brother into the house. “What the… Is that a real pig?”
The animal raised its head, grunted, and then plopped right back down.
“That should answer your question,” Brodie replied.
Knox wedged in beside Brodie on the seats around the table. “You want to explain, and while you are at it, tell us what happened to your new shirt?”
“A blind date, a pig, and Audrey Tucker walk into a café.” Brodie said.
Tripp sank down into the seat next to Brodie. “Are you serious?”
“Audrey again? Where’d she get the pig?” Knox asked.
“Says that it came out from under this trailer and rooted up Hettie’s tulips. She set it down in the middle of the table, and it proceeded to make a big mess.” He pointed to his shirt.
“Good grief!” Knox gasped. “Did Tertia run all of you out of the café?”
“No, she was calm about it, but the whole evening was a big waste of time. If I had a Bible in this place, I would lay my hand on it and swear that I’m done with blind dates,” Brodie answered.
“What’re you going to do?” Tripp asked.
“Think an animal shelter would take it?” Knox whispered.
The animal raised her head and gave him a dose of pot-bellied pig evil eye.
“I’d say that she was probably someone’s pet, and they’ll be looking for her,” Brodie answered.
Tripp glanced over at Knox. “From the way she’s acting, it’s pretty evident that she’s been a pet, so we need a pen for her, or else someone is going to have to live in this trailer.”
“Why are you looking at me?” Knox covered a yawn with his hand.
“You are the carpenter, and this is your trailer,” Tripp answered. “You can make a small outside pen for her and—”
“I can do that,” Knox butted in, “but it’s Brodie’s pig so he gets to stay in the trailer the next couple of nights until I get it done.”
Thoughts went through Brodie’s mind faster than the wheel of a hamster on steroids. Even though Tertia said that none of the sisters would take the pig, maybe Ursula and Remy would adopt the animal to live on their ranch?
They have dogs, the aggravating voice in his head reminded him.
He went through the whole list of sisters and quickly decided that none of them would even consider taking in a pot-bellied pig.
“You used to beg Mother for a pet,” Knox chuckled. “Looks like she’s finally granted your wish. Now that we’ve decided everything, I’m going home to a nice soft bed.”
“Me, too,” Tripp said.
Knox stood up, took two steps, and opened the door.
“There’s breakfast bars, bottled water, and coffee in the cabinet above the sink and plenty of water in the tank right now to last a couple of days, and remember not to flush the potty any more than you have to or else we’ll have to drag the trailer to a dump site.
Or you could go out to what’s left of the house and take an open-air shower. ”
Brodie looked down at his ruined shirt. “This is not the time for jokes. I’ll be home tomorrow morning in time to get ready for church.
Maybe if I put a note on the church bulletin board, someone will either claim her or else adopt her.
” He rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.
“I wanted a puppy or a hamster, not a pig.”
“Mother always did have a sense of humor,” Knox laughed out loud. “See you tomorrow. There might be one of my shirts still hanging in the closet if the new baby keeps you up half the night and you don’t have time to come by the Paradise.”
Brodie hurled a pillow at him, and it hit Tripp in the back as he ran outside right behind Knox. Brodie could hear them both laughing all the way to the driveway, and then the sound of a truck’s engine drowned them out.
“Okay, Pansy. That’s your new name because you were tearing up Hettie’s flower garden.
” Brodie glanced over at the sleeping pig.
“Looks like it’s just you and me for the night.
I don’t even know what your kind of critter eats or if you are housebroken.
I’ll try to find out what I can on the internet when it comes to your food, but if you make a mess in the trailer, I really will take you to a shelter.
” He slipped his phone out of his hip pocket and googled the information.
“Looks like you need special pellets or else roots from untreated ground. I hope there’s a store open on Sunday in Wichita Falls where we can buy such things and that whatever roots you ate over at Audrey’s place didn’t have all those nasty pesticides on them,” he said.
“You just sleep for now. I’m going outside for a breath of fresh air. ”
He peeled off his shirt and tossed it in the tiny kitchen sink.
Tomorrow he would ask the sisters if any of them had a magic trick to take the stain out.
He grabbed a bottle of water and eased out the door.
The night air would have been perfect if he hadn’t been naked from the waist up.
But with a bare chest, it was more than a little cool.
A few dark clouds to the southwest covered the moon, but stars dotted the rest of the sky.
The smell of rain was in the air, but according to the weatherman, that wouldn’t arrive until later in the night.
Pansy was either snoring or grunting, neither of which made him want to jump up and go see if she was alright.
Then the door hinges squeaked, and the pig was on the porch with him.
He made a grab for her and missed. She squealed like she’d been kicked and tore out across the yard, ran under the bottom string of the barbed-wire fence, and stopped dead on the other side.
“That’s right”—Brodie ran along behind her but stopped when he reached the fence—“you know you’re not welcome on that property, so get your sorry little butt back here.”
Pansy seemed to think about it for a minute, but then she took off like a shot and headed straight for Hettie’s flower bed in the front yard.
Brodie put a hand on one of the ancient wood posts with full intentions of leaping over the fence like he was back to running hurdles in high school.
He was in the air when the post gave way, and he landed on the other side with a length of barbed wire stuck firmly in his chest. Four thin lines of blood ran down his chest. He swiped at it with his hand, and the wire fell to the ground, but that didn’t stop the flow.
He was winded when he reached Hettie’s flower bed and grabbed the pig, but it wiggled free and headed around the house.
He was sure that Audrey and Hettie both heard all the squealing Pansy made every time he almost had her in his arms. Evidently she was afraid that he was going to throw her in a hot pit and serve her up with an apple in her mouth, because she zigzagged across the backyard like streaks of lightning.
“Whole new meaning to a greased pig,” Brodie grumbled as he ran along behind her.
***
Audrey had taken a long shower, but she imagined that she could still smell that fat little critter on her body.
Brodie had brought a semi load of trouble with him when he moved in next door with his stubborn attitude.
First, he wouldn’t sell her his farm. Second, he made her heart thump around in her chest every time she was around him.
And third, he had a stupid pot-bellied pig.
She wrapped a towel around her body and stomped barefoot into the kitchen. “He’s not just the most stubborn man on earth but in the whole damn Universe. I hate pigs, even those little pot-bellied ones.”