Chapter 10 #2
“I didn’t do a single thing, and you know it.
I’ve told you at least a dozen times what she said at her grandpa’s funeral.
Uncle Ira left her a bunch of money, but there were strings.
She was not allowed to sell to me or you, and if the lawyers found out she had gone through a third party, then her trust fund would be revoked,” Audrey answered. “Are you getting dementia?”
Hettie removed her hat and slapped Audrey on the shoulder with it. “My mind will be as good as it is right now the day that I go to meet my precious Amos. People in our family do not get the forgetting disease.”
“Amen,” Audrey whispered.
Hettie settled her hat back on her head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Did your two brothers ever forget their argument? Are you ever going to forget this feud you’ve got going with Bernie?” Audrey asked.
“No and no,” Hettie replied, “and when I get to heaven I’m going to have another long talk with Ira and Frank if they are still acting ugly with each other.”
“And Bernie?”
“She ain’t goin’ to heaven,” Hettie snapped.
“So, you’ve got a deal with God about who gets past the Pearly Gates and who doesn’t?”
“If you don’t stop fussin’ at me, I’ll give Walter both of the pies I’m making this afternoon. I’ll be in the truck when you finish eating.” Hettie turned around and left the house.
You should know better than to bait her, the pesky voice in her head scolded.
“Don’t gripe at me. A good argument is like vitamins to her,” Audrey muttered, and finished off the last of her soup.
She didn’t bother to change her dusty jeans and shirt, or even brush her hair, but simply walked out the back door and got into her vehicle.
Before she even started the engine, Hettie air slapped her on the arm.
“What did I do?” Audrey asked.
“For your information,” Hettie said, “I read my Bible, and it says that evil people can’t go to heaven. Bernie is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and her heart is black. She owned a bar, for God’s sake. What went on in that place would be an abomination unto the Lord, for sure.”
“Love thy neighbor as thyself,” Audrey quoted scripture.
Hettie crossed her arms over her chest. “Bernie lives three miles from me, so she’s not my neighbor.”
“How about we get an ice cream sandwich and eat it on the way home?” Audrey attempted to change the subject.
“Yes!” Hettie clapped her hands. “You know what we should do? We should get us one of them little trailer things and sell snow cones in the summertime.”
“You said that you aren’t getting dementia,” Audrey reminded her.
“What are you diggin’ up that old bone for?” Hettie asked.
“Think, Aunt Hettie,” Audrey groaned, “when would we have time to take care of a snow cone stand, and how many do you think you’d sell in a town with less than two hundred people?
Half of the town’s population is attached in some way to the Paradise.
Bernie wouldn’t let any of them buy anything from us for fear we’d put poison in the cherry juice. ”
“You’ve got a point there,” Hettie agreed. “Drive on past the store. I want to see what they’re doing to the barn. Look at them fools up on that roof.” She removed her hat and tossed it in the back seat, and then leaned forward so she could see better.
“Why did you take off your hat?”
“I don’t want to hurt Parker. God might not take too kindly to me puttin’ a minister in the ground,” she said. “What is Bernie doing here?”
“Probably the same thing you are,” Audrey replied. “You want me to offer her a ride back to the Paradise?”
“If you do, I’ll get out and hitchhike into Nocona and check myself into the nursing home. Frank will haunt you all the days of your life,” Hettie answered. “I’ve seen enough. Take me to the store.”
Audrey turned the truck around, drove back, and parked in front of the convenience store. She hurried out, jogged around the backside of the vehicle, and helped Hettie to the ground. Then she looped her arm into her aunt’s, and together they went inside.
“Hey, what can I do for y’all today?” Luna asked from behind the counter.
Luna was one of the youngest of the sisters who grew up at the Paradise. She was Endora’s identical twin—blond hair, blue eyes, and just an inch or two over five feet. Unless Audrey saw her in the store or with Shane, or saw Endora with Parker, she couldn’t tell them apart.
“You can shoot Bernie,” Hettie muttered.
“What was that, Miz Hettie?” Luna asked.
“She said that we need a gallon of milk and a couple of ice cream sandwiches,” Audrey answered. “She’s making chocolate pies this afternoon, and we are treating ourselves to ice cream first.”
“I remember your pies from when I was a little girl. You always brought a couple to the church potluck dinners,” Luna said, and turned her focus toward Audrey. “You used to come with her in the summers, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I did,” Audrey answered. “As soon as school was out, Mama would go with my dad on the long-distance truck route, and I got to stay with Grandpa and Granny.”
Hettie ignored both of them and brought a gallon of milk and a couple of ice cream sandwiches from the back of the store. “We ain’t got time to think about the old days. We need to get back to the house. The pies will need a couple of hours to cool.”
Audrey could have sworn that the temperature in the store dropped at least twenty degrees when the bell above the door rang and Bernie came inside. She stopped in front of the checkout counter and glared at Hettie. They both bristled up like a couple of hound dogs with a ham bone between them.
“What are you doing here?” Hettie hissed.
“This is my niece’s store, and I can come here anytime I want,” Bernie said. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m going to mind the store for her while she takes some cookies and tea down to the guys working on the barn.”
Hettie straightened up to her full height, narrowed her eyes, set her mouth in a firm line, and shot daggers at Bernie. “Come on, Audrey, we’ll drive down to Nocona for milk.”
Audrey laid a bill on the counter. “Don’t be silly. I don’t have time to go to Nocona. I need to get back and relieve Walter out in the sunflower field.”
“Then I just won’t make pies.” Hettie’s shoulder bumped Bernie on the way to the door.
“My mama taught me not to hit an old hussy,” Bernie said through gritted teeth, “but if you touch me again, I will lay you out, old woman.”
“Aunt Bernie!” Luna raised her voice.
“You stay out of this, Luna,” Bernie said, and kept her eyes trained on Hettie.
“Don’t let my age stop you,” Hettie said. “I’ll gladly whip your skinny ass right here.”
Brodie came into the store and stopped in his tracks when he saw the two old women. His eyes darted back and forth from one to the other. “What’s going on?”
Hettie glared at him. “I need my hat from the truck. Audrey, go get it.”
“We are leaving right now,” Audrey told her. “And I’m not going to get that silly hat. No one is dying today.”
Hettie popped her hands on her hips. “I’ll stage one of them sit-in things if you don’t bring me my hat.”
“Why do you want a hat?” Brodie asked.
“It’s my funeral hat,” Hettie said, “and when I get through with Bernie, there will be a funeral.”
Audrey tried to loop her arm in her aunt’s, but Hettie shrugged her away.
“Okay then,” Luna finally said, and pointed toward the door. “If you two want to dust it up, get to it, but not in my store where you might destroy something. If you are going to act like a couple of grade school kids, get on outside to do your hair pullin’ and screamin’ at each other.”
“Let’s take care of this feud right now,” Brodie said and focused on Audrey.
Her pulse jacked up a few notches when he flashed a brilliant smile in spite of the situation growing hotter every minute. “How do you plan to do that, Brodie? Are you going to sell your farm to me?”
“No, ma’am,” Brodie said. “I’m asking you to go out on a date with me. I know it’s April Fool’s Day, but I’m dead serious.”
“No!” Hettie and Bernie screeched at the same time.
“I’ll say yes if you two don’t settle down,” Audrey said.
“I don’t have to put up with this. I’ll be in the truck.” Hettie’s tone was icy cold.
“I’m here to give Luna a ride to the barn,” Brodie said. “But you two better be civil, or I will call Audrey, and we will go to the café right here in town for dinner. I might even kiss her good night when I take her home.”
“I…refuse…you will not…” Bernie sputtered.
“I’ll be civil, but I won’t like it.” Hettie threw over her shoulder as she left.
“Me, neither,” Bernie yelled.
Audrey picked up the milk, ice cream, and her change and followed Hettie to the truck. “I can’t believe you just did that,” she said and helped her aunt into the passenger seat.
“Bernie started it,” Hettie said in a hateful tone. “You wouldn’t really go out with that man, would you?”
“You want to test me to find out?” Audrey asked.
Hettie clamped her mouth shut and looked out the side window the rest of the way home.