Chapter 23 A Blindfold and a Cigarette
Chapter Twenty Three
A Blindfold and a Cigarette
— Sunday —
My coffee comes loaded with cream, sugar, and syrup today. Shadow’s mission to surprise me every morning continues, and today’s honey almond latte does not disappoint.
The big porch stretches out to either side of me, half-wrapped in the shadows of the early morning, while the birds busy themselves with their dawn gossip. It’s a different kind of quiet—not exactly like home, but close enough. I love this place. Grayson’s really surprised me.
Shadow sits behind me on the porch swing, fingers deftly working through my hair, sectioning it off and weaving it into something intricate. The tug, the movement—it’s soothing. Inter-pack grooming isn’t something I ever thought I’d need, let alone crave, but here we are. I’m still sorting through my impressions from last night, feeling privileged to have been there for Grayson and Shadow’s bonding—and kind of wondering if I’ll get to play with them again. Because good lord, the heat those two produce could raise sea levels.
“You’re tense this morning.” Shadow’s voice brushes my ear, almost lost beneath the birdsong. Their claws glide through my hair, separating strands, and each accidental scratch on my scalp is exquisite.
“Hmm? Am I?” I murmur, tipping my head back just enough to meet their gaze. They arch an immaculate eyebrow at me.
“Yeah, well, I guess it’s all just sinking in. The house, everyone being back… Vivien coming…”
I let the words trail off, my gaze slipping over to Tomas. He’s sitting on the steps, staring out at the trees, but I know he’s not really seeing them.
He’s nursing a mug of black coffee, his eyes distant and his shoulders stiff. He came home late, couldn’t have gotten more than a few hours’ sleep. His wolf slunk onto the bed around five a.m., pressing his nose under my arm—seeking comfort or offering it; I couldn’t tell.
He’s been off since last night, and I can’t decide whether to poke at it or let it lie. He’s not looking at me or Xavier; he’s lost in his head, and it’s eating at me. I hate when we feel out of sync—hate it even more when I’m not sure if I should be pushing or pulling.
The birds keep singing, the morning stretches on, and somewhere out there, Ben’s probably on his seventh mile. Guess he got winded last night and decided he needs to ‘get back in shape.’ Better him than me.
Shadow finishes my waterfall braid, letting it fall softly down my back, then leans over my shoulder to grab the mug from my hand. They catch my earlobe between their teeth, tugging just enough to send shivers cascading down my arms. Then they take a sip, a smile tugging at the corner of their lips as they savor the taste.
“Tomas is brooding. Classic wolfy behavior,” they say, voice low—teasing, but gentle.
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
I glance back at Tomas again, this time giving in to the urge to say something. “Hey, Alpha. Wanna join us over here?”
He startles, blinking as if coming back from somewhere far away. “Nah. I’m good here.” He rubs a hand over his jaw, his smile not quite reaching his eyes before he looks away again, shoulders tight with something he won’t share.
I sigh, and Shadow presses a gentle kiss to my temple. “Patience, Amor. He’ll come around,” they murmur, their lips warm against my skin.
“Yeah, I know,” I whisper, resting my head against Shadow’s shoulder. “I just hate waiting. He’s not even on his phone. Is the world ending? Should I be worried?”
Just then, a rustle in the yard catches my attention. I turn to see a big, droopy bloodhound loping out of the tree line, ears flopping as he makes his way toward the porch. It takes me half a beat before I realize—it’s Ben.
I can’t help the delighted laugh that bubbles out of me. “Well, hey there, Banjo! Where’d you leave your clothes?”
I get down in front of him, my hands immediately going to scratch behind his ears. He leans into the touch, his big hound eyes half-closing in pleasure, and I swear he looks like he’s grinning.
“You’re such a good boy, aren’t you?” I croon, rubbing the soft fur on his head. “Coming back just to see me?”
Shadow snorts behind me. “I think he’s here for the ear rubs. Can’t blame him—I’d be too.”
Tomas finally surfaces, brows drawn together, staring down at Banjo Ben. “Why did you shift?” Banjo doesn’t answer—he can’t—but he’s still a very good boy.
“Let him up, Trouble,” Tomas says, his voice tight, eyes still searching Banjo for answers he can’t give.
I do, because I’m curious too. Shadow props the kitchen door open, and Banjo sits up, scratches his ear with exaggerated enthusiasm, and then tromps back into the house. Shadow grabs my cup and follows him in, promising to bring me a refill.
I stare at Tomas, letting my gift unfurl, prodding gently at the edges of his emotions. A wall of tension meets me, his shoulders stiffening like a door closing. I swallow the urge to say, This is what happens when you won’t talk to me.
A few minutes later, Ben reappears in sweatpants and a tee, sneakers dangling from one hand. His hair’s tousled—whether from the shift back or an impromptu kitchen make-out session, I can’t tell. But he’s got that sheepish look he gets when he’s trying not to gloat.
“Ended up over at Wade’s place,” he says by way of explanation, shrugging. He drops into a chair and starts pulling on his sneakers, one by one, tugging the laces tight. “Mishka was already out, running around with the girls. Figured I’d join in.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Of course you did. Is he having fun with them?”
“He’s great,” Ben says, double-knotting the first shoe before switching to the other. His grin softens. “Acting like a normal kid—well, as normal as any of them can be. They’re really good for him.” He grins again, finishing the knot. “Wade said he’d come by in a bit, but Mishka’s set on spending the day with them. Sue mentioned something about making shoofly pie.”
“Shoofly pie is basically a sugar bomb with crust,” I say, shaking my head. “Guess they can handle three over-sugared kids.”
Ben chuckles, leaning back in his chair. “Better them than us.”
And then it hits me. “Daddy must be bringing The Judge over!” My excitement flares. “We should do some shopping later—”
But before I can finish, Tomas stands abruptly, his movements stiff and jerky. He lets out a heavy sigh, muttering something I can’t catch, and heads back inside without a word. What the actual fuck, Tomas?
Shadow reappears with a steaming mug of coffee and Ben accepts a kiss on the cheek from them murmuring his thanks while my patience wears down to the nub.
“You know what?” I say, my voice tight. A headache blooms behind my eyes. This is why I hate secrets. If they wanted to keep me in the dark, they could’ve at least sprung for a blindfold and a cigarette.
“Something’s going on, and if Tomas won’t spill the beans, you two are going to tell me what’s going on.”
Xavier and Ben share a look, and my stomach flips. The kind of flip you feel on a rollercoaster when you realize you forgot to buckle your seatbelt. They both avoid my gaze, and Xavier drains Ben’s cup, their eyes darting away like they’d rather be anywhere else. Seriously?
“We can’t tell you,” Ben finally says, his voice quiet.
I let out a bitter laugh. “So this is how it’s gonna be? Some messed-up ‘bros before hoes’ situation? Because I did not sign up for that.”
“No!” Ben’s eyes widen in horror. He actually looks kind of offended. “Goddess, no, Sunshine. That’s not what this is at all.”
My chest tightens, confusion tangling with anger. I don’t know if I’m relieved or just more pissed off.
Xavier reaches out, their fingers brushing my arm, but I pull away. “Then what the hell is it like, huh? Because I’m feeling really out of the loop here. Just tell me!” I grumble under my breath, “God, I hate the miscommunication trope.”
I glare at Shadow. “And you—I don’t want to be calmed down right now!”
“We want to tell you, Amor,” Shadow says softly, their eyes pleading. “But this isn’t ours to share.” They look toward the house. “You know that.”
A minute later, Tomas strides back out and stops in front of Shadow. “What?”
“Tell her, pendejo . Her feelings are hurt. You’re making me hurt my mate’s feelings because you’ve decided that angst is your entire personality today.”
Tomas runs his hands through his hair and lets out an extremely dramatic sigh before finally meeting my eyes. “Yeah, fine. You’re right.” He turns to me. “We need to talk. Before your dad gets here.”
He’s dreading whatever he’s about to say, and I’m starting to get scared.
“Should we go inside? Or is out here okay?” I blurt. “Fuck, are you breaking up with me?”
“No, no, sweetheart. It’s nothing like that.”
“Well, what is it like, then? I already know about you and Vivien. Is that it?”
Ben shakes his head. “Tommy, this is ridiculous. Just tell her, or I will.”
“I bought us a farm.”
My jaw drops. I blink a few times, sure I must have misheard him. “A farm? Did he just say—a farm?”
“I bought you—us—a farm out near your brother’s place.” He rubs the back of his neck, eyes flicking away. “Your dad helped me close on it, arranged the furniture and work crews…”
He gestures around us. “Obviously, Grayson and I aren’t communicating well these days.”
“Obviously.”
I’m kind of in shock and not sure what to say, so I lead with my heart. “I don’t know how I ended up with the two of you, but I’m thanking all my lucky stars that I did. It means so much to me that you both are trying to make a home for all of us.”
“I just… I never wanted to put you in a situation where you had to choose who to live with.”
I raise an eyebrow, a slow smile spreading as I close the space between us, slipping my hands up to rest on his chest. I feel the steady beat of his heart and press my palm there, grounding us both.
“That’s cute—you think I’m gonna choose.” I shake my head, letting my fingers trail up to cup his cheek. “Oh honey, I’m not doin’ that.”
He nods slowly, seeming to accept my decision. “Okay, so, we’re all staying here?”
I take a sip of my now lukewarm coffee and shrug. “Sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
“Sometimes,” I repeat, lifting onto my toes to brush a kiss against his lips. “And sometimes… we’ll be at the farm. We might also need a beach house.”
“You know, for variety.”