Chapter 4 Raina
The door slams shut behind Dickless, the sound reverberating through the room like a gunshot, making me wince. Pain burns through my neck, compounded with a swelling of emotions threatening to choke me. I’ve never felt so silenced, shut inside myself unable to communicate.
A glance at Keaton reminds me that I’m not alone, he has to know all too well what I’m going through, even if it was his choice. I can’t help but wonder why he’s remained silent for what I’ve gathered has been years. There’s so much more I need to learn about him.
Mentally shaking off the thought, I focus on the here and now.
Taking a deep breath, I almost taste the tension in the air, thick and acrid.
Keaton’s jaw is set; his eyes lock with Izzy’s, a silent exchange that shouts all the things we can’t say out loud.
It’s easy enough to see what they’re thinking—Dickless is the one behind the attack, and he wants to blame Darius for it.
The walls close in, and my breath feels shallow.
I’ve thought it before, but never felt it so deeply—I’m worth more dead than alive. At least to him, I am.
It makes me sick thinking about all the things he’s done to me, but this is on a whole new level… Hiring an assassin? Is that really what it’s come to?
And then to threaten me to be complicit in framing someone who did nothing but try to save my life?
No.
I won’t cover up his crime.
In fact, I hope it bites him in the motherfucking ass.
A click of the door releasing draws my attention as Nash and Blake step in, their faces taut with concern.
Nash holds his phone up with Darius on the screen, his voice crackling through the speaker, saying something about not being able to see anything with how fast he moves the phone around.
My bass player sets the phone down on the rolling table placed at the end of my bed, making sure I can see the phone.
I scan their faces—Blake’s fidgeting hands betray his anxiety, while Nash’s effortless charm falters under the weight of seeing me in a hospital bed. I feel small, trapped between the looming shadows of my uncle’s manipulations and the very real possibility of losing my identity as a pop star.
Then there’s Darius. He saved me, yet he’s being punished. Hopefully, that can get cleared up when I speak to the police. His gaze is filled with sadness and slight frustration that he can’t turn the phone to face what he wants himself.
“Raina,” Izzy steps forward, commanding attention with an intensity that pulls me from the suffocating atmosphere.
Her gaze pierces through my fog of despair.
“I wanted to come and give you an update on where we stand. Nash and Blake were released with no charges. They were only taken into custody because of Mr. Lexington’s insistence.
Darius, on the other hand, is out on bail.
We should be able to get everything cleared up once you talk to the detective on the case, but until then, there’s a restraining order that he can’t come near you. ”
I lean back against the pillows, sudden sadness sweeping through me. Darius saved me, and I can’t even fucking thank him.
“Hey,” Izzy says softly. She grabs my hand and squeezes. “I’ve got this. We haven’t been together long, but I’m ready to go to full on battle for you.” Relief flickers inside me, easing a hint of the storm swirling in my chest. “But right now, we need to focus on you.”
Me? I point to my chest.
How can I even think about myself when everything is crumbling around us? The life I’ve been working so hard for is teetering on the edge of a cliff. We have to make plans, work on whatever nightmare the press is cooking up, then we need to—
“Yes, you.” Izzy’s tone softens slightly, cutting through my panic.
“Your health and well-being are paramount. We can’t let that asshole’s games pull you under.
We have a strong case against him on the copyright, and you’ll pull through this stronger than ever.
I have faith in you, Raina. Let’s not call defeat before you’ve even started the race. ”
I take a deep, painful breath and nod my head.
Okay. But what if it’s already too late?
The thought clings to me like a shadow. Anxiety seems to be a constant companion since I’ve woken up, and my coping mechanisms aren’t all that successful.
Each inhale to calm myself feels like dragging jagged shards of glass down my throat.
I cast a fleeting glance at the floor, feeling the roughness of reality digging into me.
I might desperately want to move past the attack, but the reminder isn’t willing to let me go so easily.
“We’ll figure this out together,” Nash interjects, his voice steady, reassuring. His words wrap around me like a safety net, but doubt gnaws at the edges of my mind. Dickless has proven he won’t go easily into the night.
“Raina,” Blake’s quiet voice cuts through my thoughts. He looks at me, those deep-set eyes reflecting his uncertainty. “You have us. We’re in this together.” There’s sincerity in his gaze, a flicker of hope that feels fragile yet potent. It nudges something within me—a spark of resilience.
“Together,” I croak, testing the word as if it could hold the weight of our fears. For a moment, I forget about Dickless, about the industry that wants to control me, and instead focus on the warmth they offer me.
“Let’s take it one step at a time,” Izzy says, her authority wrapping around us like a cloak against the storm outside. “We’ll handle this. I promise.”
I nod, swallowing hard as I push the weight of doubt aside. Maybe we can turn this chaos into something stronger. The thought ignites a flicker of determination inside me. As long as we’re united, perhaps we stand a chance.
“Now, Mr. Lexington mentioned a detective wanting to speak to you. I’d like to be here for that, and hopefully afterward we can clear up the temporary restraining order against Darius.
Until then, he can’t come anywhere near Raina.
” A cold dread settles in my chest at her words, spreading outward until even my fingertips feel numb.
I glance at my dark British hero on the screen, his expression unreadable yet tense, a flicker of annoyance betraying the calm in his eyes. It’s unsettling.
Nash scowls and crosses his arms. “Can’t we ignore it? I doubt Raina will be calling the pigs to enforce it.”
Izzy nods her head like she’s thought of that.
“I don’t think we should risk it. Mr. Lexington has proven he wants to pin Darius as the one responsible, and I don’t trust him to not cause more problems. But we also need to consider anyone else who sees him walk in the building thinking they are protecting Raina when they know nothing of what’s going on. ”
Fuck. Me. I hate constantly being followed by paparazzi, reporters, and fans.
“It’s okay,” Dare says. “I’d rather wait a few days than risk it.
” He remains poised, but I see it—the slight tightening of his jaw, the way his fingers tap against his thigh.
A battle rages beneath that charming facade, and a sense of foreboding creeps into the corners of my mind. Is he angry at us or at the situation?
“The next order of business,” Izzy continues, not letting an awkwardness settle over us. “The tour is officially canceled.”
A mix of emotions slams into me. Guilt over all the disappointed fans.
Relief over knowing I won’t have to see Dickless or his doting Carmen.
Regret that I won’t get to experience everything a tour has to offer with my guys.
They worked so hard to get here to have it stolen out from under their feet.
But if I’m honest with myself, there’s no freaking possibility that I could finish the tour. Not with the ordered rest and the voice rehab looming over my head. If I’m not careful, if I rush the rehab, I’ll ruin any chance I have of making sure my voice comes out of this unscathed.
“What does this mean for the contracts we signed?” Blake asks.
I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. Memories of all the consequences I’ve had forced on me for every perceived contract slight press into me. It’s how we ended up with so many shows in the first place. They wanted me to make up my missed shows with interest.
This time is different, I know it is—I have Izzy and my lawyers to fight for my best interests—but it doesn’t stop the fear from gripping me in an iron fist.
“I don’t have an answer to that,” Izzy says, her features remaining steady, not a hint of worry in them. “But I’m working on it. I’ll get back to you when I do. I will say some of it depends on Raina’s recovery.”
“Listen up, guys,” an all too familiar voice says, making my attention snap to the phone as tears gather in my eyes. I almost convinced myself I imagined him coming back. My ex-best friend appears on the phone screen, pushing Darius aside.
My heart thuds painfully in my chest staring at my stunning green-eyed lead guitarist. I want to reach through the phone and grasp Tris to my chest like he’s a teddy bear. Why the fuck isn’t he here right now?
Suddenly, I want to fucking sob. I’m too vulnerable for this shit.
As if he can read every thought crossing my mind, Tristan frowns for a second before continuing with what he wanted to say.
“This cancellation isn’t a setback; it’s an opportunity for you to strategize.
Everything is up in the air, and no matter what comes back about the contracts, this is a chance to figure out exactly what you want to do with the future.
And once that’s figured out, it gives Izzy a target point to hit. ”
For a moment, I freeze on his use of you instead of us. He didn’t include himself. Then, the rest of his words come rushing in, bolstering me in hope. It seems to have reached everyone in the room. The darkness threatening to suffocate me seems not so oppressive.
Tristan has always had that skill. Of being able to repackage a shitty situation and turn it into something palatable. He’s such a strong leader when he isn’t being a fucking asshole.
“He’s right,” Keaton admits. “We can figure out what to do with the contracts when we have an answer. But we can figure out what we want our future to look like in the meantime. That future doesn’t have to start right away.”
“Knowing what you all want gives me a direction to steer things toward, and offers you something to look forward to, to fight for.” Izzy nods her head, giving her full support.
“We’ll talk about it and get back to you,” Blake offers. We all know this will take some time to figure out. Hell, we don’t even know if I’ll be able to sing again. They could be figuring out a future that doesn’t even involve me.
Nash draws my attention as he steps next to my bed on the side opposite Keaton. He doesn’t hesitate to grab my hand, squeezing it in his firm hold. A small smile tugs at his lips as if to say all is better in his world for now, like he was holding himself back from reaching for me for too long.
“We need to address the media fallout and the strategy you want me to use.” Izzy’s tone shifts, pulling me back from the comforting silence Nash’s touch had drawn me into.
“There are going to be rumors, accusations... and if we can count on Mr. Lexington’s tactics in the past, your name is going to be dragged through the mud.
” Her voice is calm, her eyes steady, but the weight of her words creeps up on me like a specter in the night. Reality seeps in, cold and brutal.
Images flash through my mind—brutal headlines accusing not only Darius, but my past drug use, ultimately blaming me. Then there will be the social media threads teeming with speculation, fans and enemies picking apart my life thread by thread. A lump forms in my throat.
Keaton grips my other hand—a sturdy anchor clearing the stormy seas threatening to take over my thoughts. There’s the reminder of his promise in his gaze that we’re in this together.
Izzy continues, bringing me back to the present.
“I want us to put out a statement of what happened and encourage the authorities to search for the man who’s actually responsible.
We need to make it clear that Darius was the one who saved you and had nothing to do with your attack.
It might be beneficial to add that his arrest and accusation could be racially motivated.
Those officers at the scene knew he wasn’t at fault.
” She scowls, and her hand tightens around the tablet she’s holding.
It makes me wonder what else might’ve happened when Darius was in custody.
“Once we make that abundantly clear, I want to give them an update on how you’re doing—your health, recovery, and gratitude for your fan support that’s pouring in.
We want to be transparent that even if your voice is affected, this isn’t the end of your career, no matter what anyone else may say. ”
She doesn’t need to tell me that Dickless and the label may very well be trying to spin this in a completely different direction. We can’t control the media, but the fans have already proven that they aren’t so easily swayed.
I nod my head and give her a thumbs up, hating that my voice has been taken from me, even if it’s temporary.
“I know this has been a lot, but do you think you’re up for getting the interview with the detective out of the way?” Izzy asks, compassion shining from her eyes.
I give her a sharp nod, even as exhaustion presses in on me. I want nothing more than to get rid of the stupid fucking restraining order. Darius means more to me than any amount of fatigue wanting to win out. I’ve overcome it before, I can certainly do it now.