Chapter 9 Raina #2
“That’s because you are special, Raina. You’re not being fair.“ He leans closer, his voice lowering, an edge creeping in. “You think I want to manipulate you? Why would I waste my time on that?”
I swallow hard, feeling the weight of his words, but my mind races onward. Maybe he doesn’t mean to manipulate me, but isn’t that what charm is? Isn’t that the game?
“Sometimes,“ I slowly write, each word deliberate, “it feels like there’s a deeper truth you’re hiding. Something more than the stories you tell.”
His eyes narrow slightly, a flicker of something—frustration?
Interest?—passing over his features. For a second, I wonder if I’ve struck a nerve.
“I thought I’d made it abundantly clear exactly what it is I want.
How many times do I need to tell you before you actually believe me?
Are you waiting for me to prove it to you? ”
I stare at him, suddenly rendered dumbfounded. It’s like time slows to a crawl as my eyelids close over my eyes and open again.
There’s no way he could actually mean his flirtation. Is there? Not after everything that’s happened. Not with the threat of my voice never being the same, or with Dickless being such a threat.
“The world already thinks we’re dating.” He gives me an adorable smile and cocks his head to the side. “Why not make it true?”
“Why would you still want me? My voice will probably never be the same. Before too long I’ll be forgotten as a sad story gone wrong.”
He reads the note before ripping it off the pad and crumpling it up into a tight ball, a firm scowl marring his gorgeous features.
“You could never be forgotten, for one. Second, I don’t want you because of your voice.
” He licks his lips, his gaze flicking back and forth between my eyes, taking in every micro expression I give him.
“It’s because of your heart, your spirit.
Those are things no one can take from you, not even time or circumstance.
” He stares directly into my soul, drilling his sincerity into me with every word.
The room seems to sizzle, like it’s charged with an electric tension, as if the air itself is waiting for something to snap.
I lean back on my hands, my thoughts scrambling to process this new declaration.
The doubts still coil in my stomach, yet there’s a burgeoning warmth too, a flicker of hope maybe.
Can I trust this? Can I trust him?
“But what about after?” I scribble hastily, my handwriting shaky with the turmoil inside. “What about when the novelty wears off? When the real world crashes back?”
Darius takes the notepad back from me, his fingers brushing mine as he does, a deliberate touch that sends a tingle up my arm. “Then we face it together. Isn’t that what people do when they care?”
The simplicity of his words is disarming. Maybe he is just that genuine. Maybe I’ve been so wrapped up in my fears and suspicions that I’ve failed to see the man trying to reach out across the divide.
Or maybe it’s a beautifully crafted lie designed to pull me deeper into his—no. I don’t want to believe that. I want to trust him, to stop living in constant fear of everyone around me.
I hate that my attack has made me feel more alone than ever before, even if it’s of my own doing. My mind constantly battles me on who to trust to the point that I’ve been too exhausted to let anyone else near me. Save for the one man who brought me back to life. Literally.
His words tumble through my mind on repeat, a constant somersault that no Olympic gymnast could even think of competing against.
My fingers tighten around the notepad, the paper crinkling under my grip.
Emotions continue to swirl within me, a storm building, becoming stronger until it’s threatening to break free.
The idea that someone could value me beyond my voice—something I had thought defined my entire existence—rattles my already fragile sense of reality.
“Do you mean it?” The words appear on the page before I fully realize I’m writing them.
Darius reaches for the notepad and reads it quickly, his expression softening. I might not have specified what I meant, but he knows without me having to. “Every word,” he replies earnestly, his gaze locking with mine in a silent vow of sincerity.
A flutter in my stomach twitches, becoming stronger by the second. My gaze traces over his features, drinking them in greedily. He wants to be mine. And some deep part of me wants it too. It’s the admitting it part that has me so hesitant. What would that mean?
Tranquillity stretches between us, thick and loaded with unspoken thoughts and fears. The crashing waves outside can be heard faintly in the background, a reminder of the world moving forward outside this room, outside this moment.
The bubble blocking out the world around us is becoming thinner by the second, threatening to pop before anything is really resolved.
“Can’t promise it will be easy,” he continues, breaking through the hushed tension. “And I won’t pretend there won’t be challenges or that everyone will understand. But Raina, we can get through anything together. All of us.”
I hadn’t brought it up before, but my guys, the rest of our band members, were sitting in the back of my mind. It’s worked so far because they’re best friends. Dare is an outsider as far as they’re concerned. Could they ever accept him? Is there a chance Darius Thompson will be mine?