Chapter 4 Hana
Hana
Iwasn’t sure if I left the door open on purpose, or subconsciously.
I knew that Jackie and Elliott were right down the hallway.
I knew that Jack would fuck me rough and hard, just as he did every night.
And the two glasses of wine from earlier, before I stopped drinking for Jackie, were still buzzing through my veins. But that wasn’t really the excuse.
My feelings for Jackie were gradual. At first, we bonded over what we went through. Then, as the months and years went on, I realized that she had awakened something inside of me, something that I didn’t know was there.
I had always found women beautiful, but I never thought of them in any sort of sexual way.
But then the first summer that Jack and I went out to LA to visit Elliott and Jackie, seeing her in her little bikini, flaunting the tattoos on her thighs, arms, and stomach that covered the scars Michael gave her—my heart dropped.
She had this beautiful figure, full and soft round breasts, and thighs that made something deep in my belly twitch.
I had thought of us that way, had fantasies, but I told myself I’d never act on them. I didn’t want to potentially ruin the friendship we had. But still–I could fantasize.
Jackie was naturally flirtatious, with her sarcastic banter and sly smiles, and it was easy to get a healthy dose of that when we were together.
But something about tonight, in the bathroom…I couldn’t stop thinking of leaning in and kissing her. I wondered what her soft lips felt like. I wondered what her body would feel like pressed against mine.
Jack was right: I had a crush on her. But I’d never admit that out loud.
As Jack and I caught our breath, after he kissed my shoulder and lightly tapped my ass, he pulled me close to him, his chest against my back.
“She saw us,” he whispered, his palm moving gently from my waist to my hips. “And you knew, didn’t you? You knew the door was cracked open,” he went on. His tone wasn’t accusatory or upset; it was more observational than anything.
But still, I felt like I stopped breathing.
“Yeah, I knew,” I whispered back. “I…I like that she saw us,” I admitted.
He chuckled lightly as his palm moved to my breast. “Of course you did, sweetheart. You’ve always been such a naughty girl.” He paused as he squeezed it. “Do you think she liked it?”
I licked my lips. “I don’t know. I guess there’s only one way to find out,” I responded.
It was quiet for a moment. “And what’s that?”
I turned toward him, met his eyes, and whispered, “We leave the door open again.”
* * *
The next morning, I woke to the smell of coffee drifting in from the kitchen. The other side of the bed was empty but still warm, and I could hear the shower running from the bathroom.
My thoughts immediately shifted back to the night before.
Jack had said it without hesitation, his voice low against my ear: “I told you—I’d watch too. With either of them, if you wanted. Explore all you want.”
It still caught me off guard with how open he was with me now. When we first met, he wanted to kill anyone who so much as looked at me. But now…
“I’d watch you too,” I had whispered back. “With either of them. Or all of us together.”
That smirk—the one that made my heart skip—spread across his lips. “Good to know, sweetheart.”
And now, in the daylight, in the clarity of the real world, the thought turned me on even more. Would Jackie be into it? Would Elliott? What about Jack and Elliott together?
The slow throb between my legs told me everything I needed to know: I wanted all of it.
I stood and pulled back the curtains, revealing a sheet of white outside. Everything was buried under snow, and it was still coming down hard. No one was going anywhere this weekend.
I got into the shower with Jack and managed a much-needed quickie before we both got dressed, though the conversation from the night before was still echoing in my mind.
As he pulled a shirt over his broad shoulders, I finally asked him.
“Do you still feel the same way today? As last night?”
He gave me that smile that made my heart drop to my belly. “Absolutely, love. Do you?”
I tried to suppress my grin and failed. “I do.”
His gaze dragged over me, slow and heated. “Plenty of chances to find out if they feel the same. Sauna. Hot tub. Maybe a few drinks…” He paused. “Well, not for Jackie.”
I nodded. “It’s complicated.”
He gave a shrug back. “I figured.”
I stepped in close, placing my hands on his shoulders as I looked up at him. “Don’t lay it on too strong, though. We don’t want to scare them off. Just…test the waters.”
He flashed a quick grin. “I’ll bet you and Jackie get together first.”
I scoffed. “No bets,” I said with a smirk.
But secretly…I was hoping he’d be right.
* * *
Jack and I walked into the kitchen where Elliott stood in front of the stove, flipping something on the skillet. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, the soft fabric of his sweater clinging to his muscled arms. His jeans didn’t do much to hide the definition of his thick thighs.
And all I could think about was taking turns—Jackie, then Elliott. God. I was no better than a man. Just sex on the brain.
“Ooh, smells amazing,” I said casually, my eyes drifting to Jackie, who sat on a stool at the island.
She smiled at Elliott, her hair in its usual messy-but-stylish waves. A loose sweater hung off one shoulder, and her leggings clung to her curves. She looked cozy—effortless. I realized we were dressed almost exactly alike.
“He’s the king of breakfast,” she said lightly. But when her gaze slid to me, her smile faltered slightly.
Shit. Was she pissed? Embarrassed? Horrified?
“By the smell of it, I’d have to agree,” Jack chimed in casually, closely sitting beside her on a stool.
Testing the waters.
Jackie turned to him with a small smile, and I moved to the cabinet to grab a mug, starting my usual herbal tea.
“Tea, babe?” I asked over my shoulder. I had always called her that, but now it felt loaded, like it meant something else.
She didn’t answer right away. When I looked at her, she glanced at Jack, then back at me.
“Oh, no,” she said, giving an awkward laugh. “No, I’m good. I’ve had, like, seventeen cups of coffee already.”
I nodded, setting the kettle to boil. “Did you two sleep okay?” I asked, directing it at both of them.
“Like a baby,” Elliott answered quickly, flashing me a warm smile.
I returned it, though I felt a little flustered under his gaze. The thought of the four of us…together wasn’t helping.
Jackie cut in, her voice quiet. “I didn’t sleep very well.”
I turned toward her. Her eyes found mine—intense, searching for something.
“Guess my mind was racing. Like always,” she added.
We held each other’s gaze a moment too long. She was the first to look away, turning toward the window as snow kept falling.
“Yeah, she never sleeps well,” Elliott said, missing the moment entirely. “Did you bring your melatonin, baby?”
Jackie let out a sigh. “I forgot it. Of course.” Then she added, more loudly, “Did everyone see this snow? It looks like we’re in the fucking North Pole.”
She was clearly trying to change the subject.
“It’s really coming down,” Jack replied, resting his arm casually along the back of Jackie’s stool. He wasn’t touching her, but it was close, intentionally so.
Elliott turned, his eyes flicking between them. There was no jealousy in his expression, just observation. Was Elliott even the jealous type? Was he open-minded, curious like Jack?
“Looks like we’re stuck here for a while, huh?” Elliott said, his grin easy, his eyes drifting from Jackie to Jack, then finally to me.
I met his gaze and shrugged, letting my lips curl into a slow smile.
“Guess we’ll just have to make the most of it.”