Chapter 31
Damon
Ifreeze on the spot.
It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. Hell, I think about it a lot, but as well as Liam has leaned into this, and as much as I’m learning to trust him to decide what’s right for him, that step is huge. Monumental, even. That will stay with us forever.
And goddamn, I want it.
But there is no going back after that. It isn’t a kiss or a hand job we might laugh about years down the road. To have him inside me is to change my life forever.
Before I can answer, Eloise knocks on the door. “Are you guys dressed?”
“Just a second,” Liam replies as he resumes getting into his clothes. The sleeves of my button-down are sticking to my greasy skin, and I’m having trouble getting it on. Liam walks to me, rips it off, and shoves his hoodie on over my head to hurry me along.
“You really need a fucking hoodie,” he says.
“Noted,” I grumble.
I give Rafael and Eloise their tips, and Liam and I make our way out to the lobby.
“D,” he starts as soon as we’re outside, “I really want to.” Taking my hand, he adds, “I don’t want anyone else to be your first. It should be me. I want it to be me.”
I swear to God, Liam is going to be the death of me. He’s like an addiction; you know it has the potential to kill you, but you can’t stay away, even for the sake of self-preservation.
“Not yet, Li. It’s too fucking fast.”
“For who? I’ve been having sex with girls I barely know since I was fifteen. I’ve known you my whole life. This isn’t fast. Besides, if you were a girl, we would’ve hooked up already,” he points out, making it hard for me to argue with his logic.
We pass a small side street that houses the dumpsters for this part of the resort. It’s along the side of the spa building, and Liam pushes me down the little street and backs me against the exterior wall.
“If it’s too fast because you aren’t ready, that’s one thing.
I’ll respect that. But please, for the love of God, don’t hold out because you think I’m not ready.
I’ve never regarded sex as anything more than a release, a good time, or a way to blow off steam.
But being here with you, exploring what this is, has made me see things differently.
Because you aren’t just a temporary good time.
I may not be your twin, but you’re ingrained in my DNA just the same.
With every touch, I realize more and more that sex is, like, the ultimate physical outlet for love, and I love you.
I always have. And it’s only grown stronger since learning that not only do I love you as my best friend and brother, but I also love you, like, romantically and shit. ”
I reach up to cup Liam’s face between my hands.
“That was the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard, Li.” Even the ‘romantically and shit’ part. Hell, especially that part.
He plants his forehead against mine. “Does that mean you’ll do this with me?”
I sniffle because this fucker has made my tear ducts work overtime on this trip. I’ve never been this emotional in my life.
“Yeah, Li, I’ll do this with you.” I give in, because who could say no to those words coming from the only person they’ve ever loved with an all-consuming love like I have for Liam? Hell, if he wanted to flay me open just to watch me bleed, I’d probably let him.
His lips are on mine in an instant, and the way Liam holds me like I’m something precious, every time he kisses me, is not something I’ll ever get used to. He cradles my face and wraps an arm around my back like he’s the only thing keeping me upright.
Maybe he is.
“Let’s make a quick pit stop at the little market and pray they have lube and then take this back to the cabin,” he breathes against my lips.
As the one who remains in charge for ninety-nine percent of our interactions, I’m surprisingly clueless when it comes to sex. Granted, that’s probably because I’ve never had it before, with a girl or a guy.
Liam, however, is not quite so na?ve when it comes to this area, even if he’s never fucked a man.
“We’ll get through it together,” he says as I punch in the cabin’s door code with a shaking hand. “Just like we’ve always done.”
Fuck, how does he always know what I need to hear?
As soon as we cross the threshold, my nerves want to carry me to the bedroom and begin preparing things. Should we lay out a towel? Fuck, I don’t have anything to prep with. When was the last time I showered?
“Hey, D,” Liam says, calling my attention back to him.
“Yeah?”
“Relax. It’s just me.”
“I think that’s why I’m so nervous,” I admit. “I really don’t want to fuck this up.”
“You couldn’t fuck this up if you tried, Damon.”
His use of my full name causes the butterflies to flap their wings uncontrollably in my stomach.
Liam only calls me Damon when he wants control.
Grabbing my hand, he pulls me to the little phone dock we’ve used several times during our stay, and chooses a song that has the perfect slow, deep melody.
And then he pulls me to him, calming me with a kiss that tells me we’re going to be okay. His thumb brushes across my cheek as his tongue claims my mouth before he nips at my lips.
“I fucking love you, Damon Landry. You’ve been mine since the beginning of time, and you’ll remain mine long after the end of it.”
I cling to him, breathing him in, unable to find words, let alone speak them out loud.
Finally, I manage to get my brain back online.
“I love you, too, Li. I love you more than life itself, and I want to spend every minute of my time on this earth proving it to you.”
His hands move to the bottom of the hoodie I’m still wearing. The button-up I carried home is now discarded somewhere on the floor, and he pulls the sweatshirt over my head, leaving my torso naked.
He peppers kisses along my collarbone before he drops to his knees and begins working at my belt. Once he has my pants unfastened, he pushes them to the floor, leaving me in my boxers and socks.
Instead of removing my boxers, he palms me over them and brings his mouth to my covered cock, his saliva coating the silk, turning it dark. Or maybe that’s my pre-cum. Maybe a mix of both?
It’s beautiful.
My fingers dive into his hair as he peers up at me from his position on the floor, breaking my heart and mending it with how beautiful he looks.
Torturously slowly, he dips his fingers into my waistband and kisses me across my hips and thighs as he pulls them down, exposing my cock.
I step out of them as he brings a hand back up, gripping my dick as he runs the flat of his tongue over my slit, lapping the pre-cum pouring from me.
My head falls back on my shoulders as I give myself over to the sensations he’s pulling from me.
He sucks the head of my cock into his mouth, making me hiss in pleasure.
“Feel good?” he asks.
“Fuck yes.”
A smile spreads across his face as he stands and wordlessly holds out his hand. He grabs the little bag he’d set down while hooking his phone up and leads me to our room.
I’m about to have sex for the first time, and while I’m nervous, I also relish the thought of getting lost in the loving embrace of my best friend, my boyfriend, my everything.