Chapter 36 #2
Grinning, Damon replies, “I’ve never felt better about anything in my entire life.”
It’s my turn to grow emotional as I slide into the front seat of Damon’s car in the long-term rental lot. I haven’t been home since surprising my dad for his birthday over a year ago.
As Damon pulls onto familiar streets, longing smacks me square in my chest.
I’ve missed home, and now that I’m back—with Damon—I honestly don’t know how I stayed away for so long.
“Are you okay?” Damon asks as he merges onto the highway.
“A little queasy,” I answer honestly. Once we’re safely in our lane, Damon reaches over and grabs my hand, lacing our fingers, and, fuck, it feels good. I squeeze his fingers tightly, thankful I don’t have to worry about breaking him.
“You’re sure you want me to be there for this?” he asks for the sixth time.
“D, I’m sure. If you’re not there, I’ll never get through it.”
In true it’s-now-or-never fashion, I’d asked Damon if we could go to my dad’s straight from the airport and hash this shit out, knowing I won’t get any sleep with everything hanging over my head.
My nausea ratchets up a few notches when Damon pulls into my dad’s neighborhood, and my hands grow clammy.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I whine, pinching the bridge of my nose.
Damon pulls over before reaching my dad’s house. He angles his body to face me and places his hand on the back of my neck, grounding me like always.
“No matter how this goes, I’ve got you.” He holds his left hand up in my face.
“You see this?” he asks, using his thumb to point to the ring on his finger.
I nod. “It means you’re never going to be alone again.
So, whatever happens in there, you and I are going to face it together, just like you told me in the mountains.
We’ll get through it together, just like we always have.
And when this meeting is over, I’m taking you home and riding your cock until we both black the fuck out. ”
I laugh. “Things I never thought I’d hear come out of your mouth for a thousand, Alex.”
Damon smiles. “It’s cross-posted in the shit I never thought you’d want to hear category.”
Collecting myself, I finally upnod toward my childhood home.
“Let’s get this over with.”
It’s six-thirty in the evening, and my dad’s Audi is in the driveway. Part of me hoped he’d be out.
Blowing out a breath, I make my way to the front door with Damon trailing behind me. This feels all too familiar as I remember what I walked in on the last time Damon and I stood here like this.
With a shaking hand, I ring the bell and wait.
My father’s footsteps can be heard a moment before his distorted face comes into view through the glass pane of the front door.
“Liam?” my dad says in a tone of surprise. I don’t miss the brief flash of pain that crosses his features as he sees Damon behind me.
“Hey, Dad.”
“What are you doing here?” he asks, moving to the side so Damon and I can step into the house. Coughing, he changes his statement. “I mean, I’m glad you’re here, but I didn’t know you were coming…with Damon.”
Suddenly, I’m worried we’ve walked in on something else. Shit. I should’ve called.
“Is now a bad time?” I ask in alarm.
“No, no. Not at all. Please come in.” He gestures toward the living room. “How was the trip?” My dad’s expression is nervous as he keeps glancing at Damon, obviously trying to figure out if I already know or if Damon’s about to make him spill his guts.
“I think it’s time we talked,” I tell him, keeping my voice even. His eyes glance nervously back at Damon. “Dad, he’s not going to bite,” I tell him, already annoyed with his squirrelly behavior.
“Bite? No, but he does have a mean right hook,” my father answers.
My head whips to Damon, whose features give nothing away. Finally looking at me, Damon shrugs a shoulder.
“I might’ve decked him when he came by the hospital,” he explains.
That probably shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does.
“Right. Then it’s definitely time for a conversation,” I tell the room.
I can tell my dad wants to suggest we do so without an audience, but knowing he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on, he simply nods and turns toward the kitchen.
I take a seat on the familiar barstool while Damon chooses to stand behind me. He’s so close, his stomach is pressed against my back, and if we weren’t about to have this gut-wrenching conversation, I’d find it distracting as hell.
My dad reaches into the cabinet and pulls out a bottle of whiskey. Holding it up, he says, “Either of you boys want one for this?”
Damon and I both shake our heads. My dad throws it back in one fell swoop and refills the glass, sipping it this time.
We speak simultaneously.
“Liam, I assume—”
“Dad, how could you—”
He gives me a tight smile. “Why don’t you go first?”
As I open my mouth to speak, Damon’s hand slides to my hip. It’s hidden from my father’s view by the bar, but it’s the encouragement I need to begin speaking.
“How could you do that to Taylor if you claim you loved him?”
The wince is definitely noticeable this time, and it lingers as my dad swirls the liquid in his glass.
His pain is still so raw despite the time that’s passed.
“Well, to be perfectly clear, son. I still love him. And I know you probably think it’s wrong, but—”
At those words, I cut him off.
“I don’t think loving Taylor is wrong. Weird?
Definitely, but I can see how it would happen.
” My dad’s eyes find mine in surprise as I continue.
“What I find wrong was you hiding it from me, lying about how it happened, and isolating him. Allowing me and Damon to stay mad at him was wrong. Throwing him under the bus for any reason was wrong. You should’ve taken responsibility for your feelings, and you should’ve trusted me to accept it in time because I want you to be happy. ”
My dad’s nostrils flare, and his lips curl in, but I can still see them quiver.
“I really messed up, Li,” he answers brokenly.
“Yeah, you did,” I confirm with no sympathy.
My dad glances back and forth between Damon and me. “You’ll never know how sorry I am, or how much I regret my actions.”
Still not totally on board the forgiveness train, Damon speaks behind me. “Well, he’s got Knox now, so that helps things a little.”
My dad shoots the rest of his whiskey at the mention of Taylor’s boyfriend.
As messed up as what he did was, I hate to see him hurting like this.
Allison’s words ring through my mind from the night of our shot-fest at the bar.
Is there any chance he kept it from you because he knew it would cause you pain, and he wanted to avoid that as long as possible?
She was talking about Damon, but the words ring true here as well.
My dad always wanted what was best for me.
He was a good dad, though unnecessarily overprotective, and losing Taylor seems like punishment enough.
I’m ready to put this behind us. With Mom gone and Taylor moving on, I’m all he has left right now.
“Dad, I’m moving back home,” I blurt.
His head snaps up, and the first smile I’ve seen since we arrived spreads across his face.
“Li, that’s great! I’m so glad!” Looking over at Damon, he speaks directly to my fiancé for the first time. “I’m sure you had something to do with that, so…thank you.”
It’s hard for my dad to look at Damon, and he drops his gaze several times throughout the short sentence.
I once told Damon that although he and Taylor are identical, they’re still different, but my dad’s heart is clearly broken, and I’m sure every little thing still reminds him of Tay.
So, standing in the presence of his identical twin is bound to open old wounds, regardless of the different haircut or style of clothes.
Damon stays quiet, but his grip on my hip tightens ever so slightly.
Okay, so it’s going to take a little work to repair all the damage, but no one’s drawing blood right now, so that’s a bonus.
My dad turns his attention back to me. “That’s really exciting, Li. I’ll, uh, put fresh sheets on your bed and—”
I cut him off again. “Oh, Dad, wait.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m moving in with Damon.”
His face falls slightly. “Oh, right. Right. Of course, that makes sense. Well, I’m just glad you’re coming home, son.”
“There’s more,” I tell him, now playing with my fingers.
It’s my turn in the hot seat, and I’m nervous as fuck about how this is going to go.
My dad stays silent, but is giving me his full attention, waiting patiently for what comes next.
“So, um, apparently, you aren’t the only one who maybe likes guys sometimes. ”
Okay, it wasn’t eloquent.
Nor definitive for that matter, but coming out to your parents is kind of fucking awkward.
Even if I’m not bothered in the slightest by any of the things Damon and I have done, I’ve never had to go to my parents and be like, ‘Well, guys, I like pussy, and this is my girlfriend.’ So, the fact that I have to tell my dad I like Damon—and his dick—just to tell him I’m engaged, is wild.
Oh, fuck.
I have to tell my dad I’m engaged.
In my head, the gay thing was the hard part, but in reality, I think it’ll be the engagement announcement that sends him over the edge.
“Come again? What are you saying, Liam?”
I reach behind me, pulling Damon’s other arm across my chest, as I look at him just to make sure he’s ready for this. My fiancé stares back at me, solid as a rock, relaxed with his shoulder against the wall to my left, and nods.
“Dad, I’m in love with Damon. I think I have been for a while, and when he kissed me on this trip, it felt like everything fell into place.”
My dad goes still and quiet, but the familiar look of pain is unmistakable on his features.
Surely, he can’t be that upset with me. I mean, not that it’s a contest, but holy shit, he basically fucked the same dude who was half his age, broke up with him, then stalked him until he almost got him killed. My ending up with Damon is way…
Ohmygod.
He basically fucked the same dude.
I’m going to marry a version of the man my own father wants.
My stomach lurches, threatening to spill its contents, but when I look back at my father, he’s trying to smile through the pain.
“Sounds like congratulations are in order. I can’t wait to hear about the trip and how this came about.” Oddly, I think he’s being sincere.
“Dad, if you don’t want—”
Now, it’s his turn to cut me off.
“It’s going to take me a minute to process this, Li, but all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy, and I’d have to be blind to miss how happy Damon makes you. It’s always been that way. Hold on to him tightly, son, because you’ll never find love like that outside of a Landry.”
He doesn’t add, ‘Trust me, I know,’ but he doesn’t have to. We all hear the words as if he’d spoken them aloud.
That went better than I’d expected, although the sadness in my dad’s voice sucks. It’s crazy to think he really did fall in love with Taylor.
Damon kisses the top of my head, and my dad averts his gaze just as I drop the last bomb.
“I’m glad you feel that way, because I asked him to marry me.”