Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
JACQUELINE
Did he realize how beautiful he looked like this? Flushed above me, panting, and satisfied? Something awakened in me here, lying with this handsome stranger. Something I couldn’t name for myself, but acknowledged regardless.
It wouldn’t matter, because I was still walking away in the morning.
* * *
Checking my rearview mirror to see Leo following me on his bike, covered in his helmet, and leather jacket, and gloves, was one of the top five most erotic experiences of my life.
It was as if he was pursuing me, like a predator who was waiting for his prey to give up the chase. It wasn’t like that at all, obviously. Leo never made any dangerous turns on his bike. He never revved his engine in a way that other douchey motorcyclists did at stoplights. He never got his bike dangerously close to my car. But I still knew why he stayed behind me the entire drive back. What our plans were.
It gave me some ideas, and I gnawed on my bottom lip the entire twenty-minute journey wondering if I could be brave enough to ask him for it. When we finally parked in front of my building, Leo conveniently found an empty spot directly next to mine (as if the universe itself was like, “Yeah, you two definitely need to have sex today”). He dismounted his bike and removed his helmet, before running his fingers through his hair.
Eventually, he tucked his helmet underneath his arm and shouldered his work bag, approaching me on the sidewalk.
“Do you still want me to come upstairs with you?” Leo asked. As if I wasn’t impatient to be alone with him.
I swallowed again before nodding my head.
“Words, Jacqueline.”
God, I loved when he ordered me around like that.
“Yes,” I stood straighter, “Yes, I want you to come upstairs with me.”
“And what’s going to happen when I do?” Leo took a step forward, then another.
“Um…” I shrugged, before squeezing my eyes closed for a second and gaining determination to not act like a stumbling, bumbling, sexually inexperienced woman, “Pretty much whatever you want.”
Leo hummed, the feel of my purse strap tugging away from my shoulder made me open my eyes. He was tracing the strap between his index finger and thumb, his eyes on his hand as he asked, “What if I want to raise your skirt and take you against your front door?”
I exhaled a shocked gasp, my lips twitching around a smile because holy shit that sounded awesome, “If that’s what you want.”
“What do you want, Jacqueline? This isn’t just for me.” Leo tugged on my strap, gently tugging me into his space. The move didn’t look inherently sexual, but still made my body heat.
“…I don’t want to be in control, I think,” nerves swam in my belly at my words, “I don’t really want to think, or stress. I just want to…feel.”
“Feel what, exactly?” Leo pressed.
I lifted my gaze from his hand on my purse strap, and locked with his icy blue eyes when I breathed out, “…What only you can make me feel.”
Leo’s lips parted at my response, his eyes blinking as he nodded once and dropped his hold on my purse, “I’m never going to get tired of hearing you say that.”
I grinned, before stepping to the side in a silent invitation to follow me up. We silently walked into my apartment building, but my body was buzzing. I wasn’t sure how obvious it looked to my neighbors who were passing in and out of the lobby. Could everyone tell that he and I were about to get intimate in my apartment?
I pressed the button to call the elevator, and his heat enveloped me as he stepped closer, waiting. His hand came up, and his fingers gently dragged over the skin on the back of my bicep, making me shiver as I waited for the doors to open.
When they did, I stepped through the doors and to the side to make room for him. Then I hit the button for my floor.
As soon as the doors closed, we both stood still and silent. He had his hands in the pockets of his jacket, and I remembered that my damp panties were stored in there. I wondered if he had a grip on them, or if he was playing with the lace in the obscurity of his pocket. I had my arms folded across my chest, both of us completely quiet as I drummed my fingers on my arm.
The elevator doors revealed my floor, and the two of us silently stepped into the hallway before I led us to my unit. I found that my hands weren’t steady as I dug around my purse for my keys.
Then Leo’s warm voice brushed over my ear, “You better hurry, Jacqueline.”
The heat of his body pressed against my back as I finally found the ring and started flipping through the keys. Still trying to find the one that unlocked my door.
“I don’t know if I can wait any longer, love,” Leo’s hot breath fanned against my skin before his lips teased against the shell of my ear, “If we don’t get inside soon, your neighbors are about to have a show.”
My entire body was trembling, my hands shaking as I finally found the key and struggled to jam it into the lock.
“Three…two…” his words teased me as I finally twisted the lock and threw the front door open, bolting inside and dropping my purse in the entryway. I lingered just enough for him to enter and close the door behind him. Leo met my eyes as he flipped the lock on both the deadbolt and the doorknob. His helmet and bag dropped to the floor.
“My safe word is ‘glacier’,” I said, sliding out of my shoes as I watched him do the same, “Not ‘no’, not ‘stop’, not ‘don’t’.” Leo’s eyebrow lifted a bit as he shrugged out of his jacket. I almost forgot to keep speaking when I saw him grab the back collar of his shirt and tug it over his head, “…I want to play.” Based on the wetness coating the skin between my legs when he was up against my back, threatening to take me in the hallway, I had a strong suspicion this kind of play was something I wanted to explore further.
“What do you mean by play?” Leo asked. He used one hand to flip open his belt buckle, before dragging the leather through the loops of his pants in one smooth motion. It was the move of a man who had taken his belt off one-handed many times before. The move of a man who was just as eager as I was.
“I…want to be…taken.”
“Taken?” Leo asked, warmth starting to fill his cheeks as he stepped toward me. I stepped back, making him hesitate his approach. I nodded at him.
“By you,” I explained, unbuttoning my blouse. I watched as his eyes stayed glued to my hands as each button came undone, revealing my white lacey bra, “I like the idea of you pursuing me. Catching me. Fighting for me.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Leo rasped, as he dragged a hand over his face, his eyes almost completely black as I parted the panels of my blouse and slowly slid it off my shoulders. He took another step toward me, and I retreated one to match. He didn’t stop this time, understanding what I was asking.
“Do you want me, Leo?” I asked, a giddy smirk tugging on my lips as I continued slowly backing away from him.
Leo released a low grumble before he ground out, “Terribly.”
“Then you better catch me.” And then I turned on my heel and ran. I went down the hallway, and the sound of his heavy footfalls closing in behind me made me laugh. I loved the thrill, but before I made it through the door of my bedroom, his large arms wrapped themselves around my waist.
My feet left the floor, my back pulled against his chest, as he turned and pinned me against the hallway wall.
“You’re going to have to learn to be faster than that,” Leo ground out, licking a hot, wet stripe up the side of my neck. I was squirming in his hold. My hands tried to push his arms off of me but failed, “I’ve been looking forward to sinking into you since this morning.”
I gasped through a giggle when his face buried itself in my neck. He didn’t release his hold on me. He kept me successfully pinned between the wall and his body as his hardness rutted against my backside through his jeans.
“Do you want to use your safe word?” Leo checked as he teased the sensitive spot between my neck and shoulder.
“No.” I shook my head as much as I could while his lips tortured me like this.
“Good,” he ground out, releasing one of his arms around my waist and wrapping his fingers around my thigh. His hot palm slowly dragged itself up my leg, his fingers curling inward towards where I was aching for him the most.
I thrust back against him, attempting to free myself, and earned another groan from him.
“Do you like fighting me, Jacqueline?” Leo captured my earlobe in between his teeth, the gentle scrape making me moan as I gripped his arm around my waist tighter, “Do you like pretending that you aren’t desperate for me?”
“Yes,” I wheezed, my head falling back against his shoulder as I tried to shove myself off of the wall again. His hard length twitched against my back before he suddenly dragged me away from the wall and through my bedroom doorway.
“Do you like the idea of being at my mercy?” Leo asked as he dumped me on the bed. I bounced on the comforter face down, before throwing him a smile over my shoulder and attempting to crawl away to the other side.
Both of his hands wrapped around my ankles, dragging me back down to him. He used the grip on my feet to flip me over, pressing one of his knees on the bed next to me. I panted as I watched him use one hand to unbutton his jeans and pull the zipper down, and when that hand disappeared inside his jeans, I tried to escape again.
I was giggling, so fucking horny and happy.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had this much fun with foreplay.
Before I could get far at all, Leo’s large body was over me, pinning me on my stomach to the mattress.
“Looks like I need to find a way to keep you put,” Leo murmured, as he pressed a kiss to my shoulder, “Even though I enjoy the chase.”
I looked up as his arm reached ahead of us and found my fluffy robe hanging next to my bed. I widened my eyes when his fingers wrapped around the tie for the robe and pulled it out of the loops.
“Oh my god,” I breathed, attempting to buck him off of me but, thankfully, failing.
“Use your safe word any time.” He shifted up my body some more, keeping me pinned underneath him as he captured both of my wrists and started to gently tie them together with my fluffy robe tie.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” I was mumbling into the comforter of the mattress as he secured my wrists. The tie was tight, but not tight enough to cut off circulation. If I truly struggled with my full strength, I could easily free myself from this. He must have done that on purpose, because then he was flipping me over onto my back underneath him, shimmying up my body that he now straddled, before he started tying the other end of the restraint to something. I glanced up, seeing that he was securing me to the post of my bed frame.
“It looks like you’re still into this,” Leo murmured, finishing up his knot and leaning back to look at me prone underneath him, “Which is good, because I love playing with you.”
“Fuck.” I arched underneath him, and I saw him close his eyes as his lips parted and he hung his head over me.
“I love hearing you curse.” Leo shook his head and leaned forward to kiss me. It was the first kiss on the mouth throughout this entire ordeal, and my body lit up underneath him. Our tongues were dueling for dominance, something he smiled about as he finally won. I surrendered, letting both of his warm hands cup my head and position me just how he wanted as he plundered my mouth. The kiss was wet and messy, just like I was tied up underneath him.
One of his hands released its grip on my head, sliding down my body and tracing his fingers against the lace at the top of my bra cup.
I gasped into his mouth, bucking against him as his fingers slowly peeled the lace down. My breast was revealed to the room, the tip puckering just as he brushed his thumb against the hardened bud.
“You’re sensitive here,” Leo murmured against my mouth. I pulled gently against his homemade restraint, thrusting against him again just to feel his erection against me through his jeans and my skirt, “Very sensitive, if I remember correctly.” He grinned at me before tugging on my lip once and kissing my jaw, my neck, and the dip at the base of my throat before his lips continued their path toward my chest.
“Oh.” I bucked against him again.
Leo grinned at me, “Look at you, writhing underneath me. Needy little thing, pretending you don’t want this.” I bit my lip to hide my smile, because yeah, I was needy. I was so fucking needy. I wanted whatever he had in store for me. I was practically trembling with need. I wanted him to take me and do whatever he wanted. I wanted to lose control with him.
“If you—oh god,” I was cut off because he pulled the other cup of my bra down, before dragging his tongue across my hard nipple slow enough to make me moan, “If you do that, I’m going to come so fast.”
“Good.” his free hand dragged down my waist to the side of my skirt, where he found the small zipper keeping the skirt on my body and roughly pulled it down. The skirt loosened, and he lifted himself off of me just enough to rip it down my legs and throw it across the room, “Because then you’ll be ready for me.”
I whimpered as he dropped onto me again, his wet lips closing around the peak of my breast while his thumb teased tight circles around my other one. It was like a live hotwire lit up inside of me, leading down to my clit.
I was panting, whining, and thrashing against the weight of him. He hummed, and I looked down to see him smiling against my breast. I could see his hooded eyes focusing on his task, his smile showing off his teeth as his pink tongue flicked against my nipple at the same fast pace his thumb flicked across my other.
And I exploded.
White hot euphoria erupted through me, and my back arched against him. He kept me in place, keeping up his ministrations against my chest while I throbbed around nothing, clenched my core tight, and moaned through my release.
My eyes squeezed closed, and moisture pooled around the lids. My makeup would probably be smudged, but I didn’t care. All I could focus on was every muscle in my body responding to Leo’s mouth and touch.
I didn’t drop down immediately after he tipped me over the edge. New waves of pleasure would take me by surprise, inducing obscene sounds through my clenched teeth. I finally started to feel the pleasure ease its hold on me, and at the same moment, his hand slid down my stomach. His fingers gently curled as they teased the most sensitive area.
“Don’t let me stop you,” Leo murmured against my breast right as he started circling me again. I screamed behind clenched teeth as another orgasm ripped through me. My back was arched off the bed, basically shoving my chest in his face as he fingered me through this next one. I started to see stars in my vision behind my closed lids.
Eventually, after drowning in orgasmic bliss for much longer than I ever thought was possible, I twisted my hips out of his reach.
“No more—I can’t—” I couldn’t get anything else out as he hummed against me. Thankfully he understood, removing his hand from between my legs and releasing my nipple with an obscene, wet pop. Leo hummed as he started peppering kisses up my chest, up my neck, and across my collarbones.
“Are you done?” Leo asked against my skin.
“No,” I shook my head, unable to open my eyes quite yet, “I want to keep going.”
Leo captured my lips with his, and I moaned into his mouth without shame. He wasn’t turned off by it. If anything, my sounds spurred him on.
“Do you want me to untie you?” Leo murmured against my lips.
“I think so,” I nodded, “I want to feel you.”
Leo smirked, before reaching forward and loosening the hold on my wrists. I flexed them for a moment when they were free before I froze. I looked up at him, staring at his handsome face while still very clearly delirious from my orgasmic bliss.
“What?” Leo asked, kissing the tip of my nose once.
“You,” I replied, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him onto his back.
Leo followed my movements without hesitation, and as his hooded eyes watched me throw one leg over his waist, I preened when he groaned and closed his eyes. His large hands flexed on my thighs, and I teased myself on his hard length before he ground out through gritted teeth, “Condom.”
“I know.” I smiled, gently scraping my nails down his chest. He shuddered under my touch, and I felt like the most powerful woman in the world, “I just wanted to try teasing you. I can’t believe you did that for me.”
“Hmm?” He asked right when I started to shimmy down his legs towards the side of the bed where my nightstand was.
“Played with me like that,” I reached over to the bedside drawer and pulled out a condom, gently peeling it open and making eye contact with him, “No one has.”
“I will,” Leo panted when I shuffled back up him and gently started unrolling the condom down his length, “Whatever I need to do to see you like this, I’ll do it.”
“Whatever?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow as I finished putting the condom on. I trailed my index finger up his erection once. It twitched, and I licked my lips at the sight, “You’re not turned off by it?”
“I don’t think—" he breathed, his hooded eyes watching me lift myself on my knees and line him up with where we both wanted him to go, “I don’t think anything about you can turn me off.”
“Are you sure?” I bit my bottom lip as I slowly started sinking down onto him, and his hands gripped my thighs almost painfully. Leo threw his head back, the tendons in his neck straining as I slowly worked myself onto his shaft.
“What are we even talking about?” Leo ground out through gritted teeth, “I can’t focus with you clenching around my tip like that.”
I’m sorry, tip?
Oh my god.
“That’s fine,” I smirked, sinking onto him some more at a torturous pace that made a bead of sweat start to drip from his brow, “I—shit, Leo. I’m actually trying here.” I laughed at myself, my hand still holding onto him because I wasn’t seated fully. I had managed to fit him inside of me multiple times now, but for some reason, me being on top was proving difficult.
Leo grunted something unintelligible before one hand left my thigh and brushed between my legs. His thumb started to gently tease my sensitive flesh. Warmth started to swarm in my lower belly again, rocking against him as I struggled to fit.
“Goddamn, did you get bigger ?” I gasped in mock outrage as I rocked again, making Leo cackle and slap a hand on his forehead.
“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he chuckled, removing the hand from his head, gripping my hip, and thrusting his hips up.
I yelled or gasped, or made some type of embarrassing sound when he finally helped me get settled on him. He thrust again, and soon we were rocking against each other.
Which made talking impossible.
“Do you like this, Jacqueline?”
Well, impossible for me at least.
“Huh?” I asked, bracing my palms on his chest to keep up the pace. I could feel heat unfurling between my legs, a string tightening in my core, and I couldn’t believe I was capable of this kind of thing now.
“Do you like pretending that you’re in charge right now?” Leo asked from underneath me.
I lifted my head, unaware that I had let it hang as I rode him, to meet his eyes. Leo’s gaze was half open, hooded above flushed cheeks. He bit his bottom lip as we made eye contact, and it took me a while to realize that he was still the one doing the work. At some point, my movements started to lag. As soon as another orgasm started to build inside of me, I struggled to keep my body moving.
It was Leo who was keeping the pace. Impaling me from underneath with a smug look that made me want to shove a pillow over his face but also, mostly, kiss him all over.
“Want me to take over, love?” Leo panted, both of his hands gripping my thighs now to keep me locked in.
“M-maybe,” I stammered. My nails were starting to dig into his chest, leaving little crescent indents on his skin. Leo groaned when I canted my hips forward, grinding against him in a way that made me go mindless with the need to chase the building release, “So close.”
“Look at you,” Leo groaned, his hips punching up into mine while his grip kept me as close to him as possible, “Devastatingly beautiful.”
Maybe his words of encouragement helped, but suddenly, I was falling over the edge. Every muscle in my body locked, and my foot start to cramp from the intensity of the orgasm that was burning through me. I released a deep, probably unattractive groan throughout the waves that hit me.
“My turn.” At his words, I forced my eyelids open to see Leo’s lips tug up in a slow, sly smirk, before suddenly the world was spinning. I landed with an oof on my back, but I was still looking into those now glassy eyes of his, “I think I like being the dominant one, Jacqueline.”
I nodded my head, looping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer to me. I was still throbbing around him, “I—” I breathed through another wave when he dropped to his elbows and start thrusting erratically against me. I unhooked one of my arms from his neck and braced myself against my headboard so my head wouldn’t slide into it, “I don’t hate that.”
“Of course, you don’t,” Leo grunted, dropping his head in between my shoulder and neck. His panting breath was coating my skin as his lips teased a sensitive part of my neck, “You just want to unwind after a long day, right?”
I nodded my head again, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip as another wave pulsed through me. He groaned into my neck at the feel of me tightening around him again.
“And I’m still the only one who gets to take care of you like this?” Leo asked, angling his head so that his words ghosted over my ear. I shivered, my legs wrapping around his hips in an attempt to keep us joined as closely as possible as he moved inside me.
I nodded my head again.
“Words, Jacqueline.”
“Yes!” I gasped, only to start shaking my head, “I can’t—I can’t—”
“Yes, you can,” Leo ground out, keeping his hips moving at the same pace that created another wave of heat in my core. It was building rapidly, much more rapidly than I was used to. I had already come twice. I hadn’t planned on coming again, I really didn’t need to. But it was happening, and I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
“I can’t—I’m gonna—oh no—”
“I feel you,” Leo moaned, “God, I feel you coming again.” I turned my head to scream into the skin of his shoulder, a poor attempt to muffle the sound, as he rambled in my ear, “You’re so tight, sweetheart. Clenching around me. Fuck, I don’t know if I can last—oh, fuck, you’re coming again—fuck, you’re soaking me, Jacqueline—fuuuuck—”
Leo whimpered before thrusting into me one last time, grinding his hips against mine as he groaned through his release. Feeling him throb inside of me made me bite his shoulder, but I stopped myself before I caused real damage to his skin.
I felt out of control.
I felt alive.
I felt fucking amazing.
I felt really, really messy.
We sat there, Leo barely supporting his body weight on his elbows so that he wouldn’t crush me, both of our cheeks pressed together while we breathed and recovered from the ecstasy we shared.
“Was…” I cleared my throat and used my hand around his shoulders to gently stroke his skin, “Was that good for you?”
Leo laughed, the sound of it was muffled against me.
I stiffened, worried, before his lips started kissing my neck and ear in between his chuckles, “Yeah, Jacqueline. I haven’t gained my vision back quite yet.”
I laughed too, making him lift his head to meet my eyes.
A smile spread across his face, and I grinned back at him. Admiring him. How beautiful he was like this. His pupils were practically blown out, hiding so much of his clear blue irises. His pale cheeks flushed with color from exertion. How his black hair looked so messy from my fingers running through it. I couldn’t wrap my head around this moment; how lucky I was that we were together like this.
“It wasn’t too much?” I asked again. He had already claimed that nothing I asked of him was too daunting or off-putting, but that was during the throes of passion. I knew I couldn’t possibly have a clear head while on the brink of orgasm, I wouldn’t expect him to either.
“What part?” Leo asked before pecking my lips.
I waited for him to pull back again, “Any of it. Especially the beginning.” I lifted my hand again, awed that I could touch my coworker like this. How comfortable we both were, tangled up in each other after a long day.
He closed his eyes and adjusted the two of us. Rolling onto his back, Leo tucked me against his side, so I could continue brushing his dark hair off his forehead while he considered his response.
“You asked me the same thing the first time,” Leo sighed, leaning into my hand. If he was a cat, I thought he might have started purring. I poked my tongue against the inside of my cheek, enjoying that my touch affected him like this.
I enjoyed it a lot.
“I did,” I agreed, “I asked you for things I hadn’t asked anyone for before.”
Leo lifted a dark brow while still keeping his lids shut, “Like choking?”
I clamped my lips together, a wave of humiliation washing over my face as I dropped against his chest. A poor attempt to hide my reaction from him.
“Yes,” but my response was muffled.
“Jacqueline,” Leo had turned his head so that his lips could press against my forehead, “Trust me when I say that I’ll tell you if anything you ask for is too much. If you ask, and I enthusiastically oblige, it’s because I’m into it, too.”
I tilted my face up just enough for his lips to leave my head so I could look at him, “…I feel like I got too lucky with you,” I whispered, “I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position.” Leo snorted, and my brows lowered, “What?”
“How do I say this?” Leo exhaled before tightening his hold around me, both of his arms trapping my naked body with his, “You know what I love most about you and me?” My heart skipped a beat when he threw out the word love, and I immediately told my chest to calm down, “It’s not just how great you and I are together. Obviously, the chemistry we have is a huge aspect of it.”
Without thinking, I immediately lifted a finger and tapped the tip of his nose once.
Leo was about to say something, but he gave me a quizzical expression after I booped him.
God, I was so weird.
“My therapist is also a sex therapist,” I tried to explain, still tightly wrapped in his arms with my own partially trapped between us, “A while back she explained to me that pheromones are detected in the nose, which sends a signal to the brain. I’m sure it’s more complicated than that, but I always picture how people’s noses are kind of what helps us figure out who we have sexual chemistry with.”
“Huh,” Leo’s eyes glanced down to what I assumed was my nose, “Maybe that’s why I always want to kiss yours.”
I gave him a small grin in return, “Sorry, you were saying?”
“Right,” Leo met my gaze again before, “Regardless of our heated nose chemistry, I also appreciate every time you ask something new of me, because it’s a huge boost for my ego.”
I thought about his words for a moment, which must have meant that I was frowning, because I suddenly felt his fingertip press against the corner of my mouth. I thought he was going to try tugging it up into a smile, but no. Leo pressed his finger in the corner and simply traced the shape of my lips while I thought.
“How does it boost your ego?” I whispered against his touch.
I locked in on the way his mouth twitched with another smile before his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. His two front ones weren’t straight, as if he had been punched before. Maybe he had, based on how he dealt with my ex. One tooth stuck out farther than the other, almost at an angle, to make room. Standing far away, I never would have noticed this specific detail about how Leo’s teeth lined up. But this close I did, and I was distracted once again by these additional facts I could store away about my coworker.
“Do you have any idea how hot it is,” Leo’s voice was lower, his mouth my entire focus as he leaned in to press his forehead against mine, “To have your explicit permission to touch you like that? To have your consent to ravish you just the way you want? How sexy your trust in me is?”
My heart skipped a beat, and my eyes fluttered as he rolled us again so that I was more on my back, “I guess that is a nice ego boost.”
Leo snorted, “You trusted me to chase you in your flat. You trusted me to pretend to pin you underneath me. You trusted me to explore the most intimate parts of yourself, and that turns me on more than anything.”
I tucked my lips between my teeth as I absorbed his words, and while I took a moment to process, Leo filled the time by teasing my neck with his warm lips. Feeling his exhale skate over my skin sent a shiver through my body, and his hands gripped me tighter.
“I need to clean up,” Leo pressed one last kiss under my jaw, and I whined behind my hidden lips, “Don’t move, I’ll be back.” I nodded. It wasn’t until he pulled away from me and padded to the bathroom that I thought some more.
I didn’t want our sexual relationship to be so one-sided.
Leo was special, he was willing to explore my sexuality with me. To help me discover what I liked and what I didn’t, but what exactly was he getting out of this?
I heard the water turn on and off, before he entered my bedroom again completely naked, sans a used condom, with a washcloth in his hand.
I was confused for half a second until he crawled onto the bed and gently nudged my legs apart. A protest got caught in my throat, but I remembered how he did this for me at his hotel all those months ago as well. Leo cleaned me carefully, his blue eyes flicking up to meet mine while he delicately brushed the warm, wet cloth over my most sensitive areas.
This relationship was definitely feeling one-sided.
“What do you want, though?” I ended up asking on a rasp.
Leo blinked before sitting up, finished with cleaning me, and gave me a look, “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” I tucked my legs close as I sat up on the bed, leaning against my headboard. I was still completely naked, and I kind of wished I wasn’t so exposed while having this intimate of a conversation with him, “What do you want out of, um, this?” I pointed a finger in between the two of us, “Is there anything you need that I can provide? Like, I don’t know, roleplaying? Or spanking?” Heat bloomed across my cheeks and chest, but I was determined to be a confident woman for this.
Leo’s brows rose into his forehead, and I thought I saw a flicker of amusement tug at his lips, but thankfully he stayed composed as he replied, “All I ask is that, while you and I are doing this,” he repeated my gesture, using his index finger to point between the two of us, “That you let me know before exploring things with someone else. As far as I am concerned, we are currently monogamous until we have communicated otherwise.”
I tilted my head, contemplative. Part of me wanted to ask why he thought that was something that would come up for me.
Clearly, I wasn’t putting myself out there like that. I didn’t even have additional sexual partners on my radar, so the possibility hadn’t even crossed my mind.
He doesn’t want a relationship, he wants to keep things casual , my inner voice told me. A pang of something cold settled in my gut, but I was determined to move past it. We weren’t in a relationship. We never talked about a relationship. So far, we talked about work and sex.
That would be enough for now.
I didn’t even want to jump into another relationship. I didn’t think I was emotionally available enough for one. I didn’t want to be responsible for the well-being of another person, yet. I had already become a numb shell of myself trying and failing to be a good partner for Vincent. Sure, maybe he designed things so I would never be a good enough partner for him. That still didn’t take away the memories my body had, the stress and anxiety that would sour my stomach from failing him for years.
I had something good with Leo right now. Something comfortable and safe. I didn’t want to mess that up by committing to something with him before I fully recovered from my trauma.
“Alright,” I nodded, “Though I don’t think I’m interested in being intimate with more than one person at a time. So, if you find someone else you want to explore things with, please tell me, too. Safety and stuff.” I didn’t meet his eyes and instead chose to fidget with my fingernails.
Leo huffed before crawling up to me and pulling my hands into his, “I’ll send you my last exam results when I leave tonight.” And then he started covering me, tugging me down into the bed again so he could start to trail kisses up my arm. Over my shoulder.
I giggled at the sensitive touch, “I haven’t been active, therefore tested, since the first time you and I…um, fucked.”
Leo groaned, “You and your filthy mouth.”
I playfully shoved at his shoulder, which he retaliated against by pulling me further down the bed so he could wrap his arms around me, throwing one of his long legs in between both of mine, pinning me underneath him.
“Ah,” I nodded against him once, “I forgot how much of a cuddler you are after sex.”
“We couldn’t do this after you seduced me in your office—” my protest of how that whole thing went down was smothered by his lips covering mine in a searing kiss, before he pulled back just enough to say “—I need to make up for lost cuddle time.”
I smiled as he tucked his head against my chest, his breath fanning across my breast. I managed to untuck my arms that were trapped between us, so that I could wrap them around his shoulders instead. I was fully willing to cuddle. I was craving intimacy like this. I may not be ready for a real relationship, but I was more than ready to casually lay naked with a man like him.
The fact that Leo wasn’t cold and closed off after seeing me at my most vulnerable, was also comforting. I had been sharing a bed with a man for a few years, and even he would turn over and give me his back almost immediately after he and I were intimate.
I needed this form of aftercare.
So I squeezed Leo to me, smiling when he released a satisfied groan from his chest.