Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
JACQUELINE
It has been months since I saw him. I stood near Signe’s desk, both of us getting ready for when we started the onboarding process for his first day. Signe was babbling about her most recent book developments, and any other day I would be curious to know how that was going. Today, I was barely holding it together.
The elevators finally dinged.
And there he was, stepping off with his leather jacket and backpack hanging on one shoulder.
Just as gut-wrenchingly beautiful as I remembered him.
So I frowned.
* * *
On Friday, exactly one week after the rave, I asked Leo to come over.
He didn’t have time to knock before I flung my front door open, startling him before his handsome smile stretched across his face.
“Are you that excited to see me?” Leo asked, as he wrapped his hands around my waist and pushed us back inside. He kicked my front door closed and immediately dropped his lips to my neck.
“Yes, but guess what,” I closed my eyes and savored the feel of him wrapped around me like this. He kicked his shoes off without letting me go or removing his lips from my skin, “I’m getting a promotion.”
“Yeah?” Leo leaned back to look at me, “To what?”
“Chief Human Resources Officer,” I grinned up at him, running my hands up and down his chest, “CHRO.” I still felt the residual anxiety in my body, but it was fading little by little. I made a trip to the sensory room right before my meeting with Brandon, and even though it ended up being nothing but good news, I visited the sensory room right after, too.
“No way,” Leo’s eyes lit up and he bent down to wrap me tighter, standing and twirling me in the entryway, “That’s amazing, Jacqueline!”
“Churro, for short,” I mumbled into his shoulder with a laugh, “The pay raise is insane.”
“From what I know about Brandon, I’m not surprised,” Leo chuckled, stepping into my kitchen and plopping me onto my small island, “You more than deserve it, love.” He brought a hand up to cup my cheek, and I beamed up at him. He looked genuinely happy for me. I realized earlier that day that I was excited to tell him my news. I wasn’t nervous about telling him, because he had given me no reason to be. Leo wasn’t threatened by my job or what my goals were. He was supportive, as simple as that.
I rubbed a hand on my chest at the realization that I hadn’t experienced a sexual relationship with someone who also supported me and encouraged me as Leo did.
Was that what a real grown-up relationship was supposed to be like?
But I didn’t have that with Leo.
As far as either of us had spoken, we were just hooking up.
But the way Leo kissed me, stepping between my legs as I sat on my countertop, it felt like more. It wasn’t a filthy kiss. It wasn’t a kiss that would lead to more. This was an…appreciative kiss. A gentle one, and I responded to it the best I could.
I wanted to thank him for being so…perfect.
Because apparently, a man congratulating me on my promotion instead of feeling immediately threatened by it was the bar for me.
The bar for men is in hell , I recalled Signe’s words from a brunch a while ago.
“I have something for you,” Leo murmured against my lips before pulling away. He removed his bag from his shoulder and started unzipping it, “Do you like surprises?”
I winced, “Not particularly.”
“Then keep your eyes open,” he smirked as he dug around his bag, pulling out a small white box with clear plastic wrap over it, “These are for you,” he announced, placing the box in my hands. His fingers wrapped around my thighs briefly as he stepped between my parted legs again. I felt relief with his return, missing his warmth for a couple of seconds when he stepped away to reach into his bag.
I felt the pinch in my brow form, before attempting to smooth it. I didn’t want him to think I was upset about receiving a gift from him, but I was confused. Why was he giving me one? It wasn’t my birthday, and he and I didn’t have an anniversary to share.
I glanced up at Leo, already prepared to apologize for my frown, before he flipped the box over.
“You said your earbuds were old.” Leo was smiling, excited. He wasn’t turned off by my facial expression at all, “These are the highest-rated earbuds on the market today. They can also be noise canceling, either with or without music playing in them.”
I sat there on my kitchen counter, frozen.
Holding the little white box with the small image of white earbuds on top.
My heart was racing in my chest.
I suddenly found it difficult to take an even breath.
Heat filled my cheeks.
“Also,” Leo dug around in his backpack again, this time pulling out a larger white box. Same brand, same packaging, “These are the highest-rated headphones, in case you would prefer the feel of these instead of earbuds. I was thinking you could have a pair that stays stationary at your desk, and the earbuds could stay in your bag throughout the day. We could also get you a pair of headphones to have at home, if you’d like—”
My eyes were starting to burn around the edges, a lump was forming in my throat. He said home, not my home. Just home. Did he feel at home here? Was he just as happy to be here, as I was to have him here?
“—but no pressure. I figured you should try these two out and see if they work for you. If not, we can always return them and go back to the drawing board to find a brand that feels better. I understand that not all earbuds and headphones feel the same. I guess I wasn’t sure which you’d like to prioritize: sound, clarity, or comfort. Which is why I just got you both.”
He set the headphone box on the counter next to me, gently removing the smaller box from my hands so he could tear the clear plastic off and open it up, “But we should try these out first since they’re closest to what you’re used to.” His brow had a small pinch in it as he opened the box and removed all the fancy packaging. His clear blue eyes flicked toward my phone resting to the side on the counter, so he reached over to grab it. He held the camera toward my face to unlock the screen. My face, which was still frozen in shock.
Leo didn’t react to my silence. He just kept going, giving me time to sit with my feelings.
Once my phone was properly paired with the earbuds, which he then renamed “Jacqueline’s Earbuds,” he set my phone down. With gentle, slow movements, he lifted his hand to push my hair out of the way, before delicately inserting the earbuds in my ears.
If anyone else touched me like this, my skin would crawl with the impulse to flinch away. But with him, I just held still, holding my breath while I anticipated his fingertips brushing against my skin.
The earbuds had those soft silicon tips, molding to my ear canal and immediately blocking excess white noise out.
My lips tugged up. My body and mind immediately felt more relaxed without the sound of my AC unit and refrigerator running.
Leo grinned, clocking my own grin immediately, “How do they feel?”
“Good,” my voice croaked.
Leo nodded before grabbing my phone again and opening up one of my playlists. I could still hear him, but his voice was muted with the noise cancellation, “I think you’re going to like the spatial audio, and how much more of the bass you’ll feel.”
He picked a song to test out.
“Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO started playing.
The sound was perfect. I heard everything, and it sounded like the two artists were singing on either side of me. When the bass dropped, I could feel it in my body in a way I had been desperately trying to seek out with my old earbuds.
Leo’s eyes kept bouncing between both of mine, studying me. Gauging my reaction.
After the song played for a minute, he finally asked, “Does it sound okay?”
I pressed my lips together, the corners still turned up, as I nodded my head.
“I can’t hear it at all,” Leo grinned, “The sound stays exactly where it’s supposed to.”
I sucked in a shaky breath. My heart was swelling, pressing on my lungs. I almost felt dizzy. I could almost hear the sound of blood rushing in my ears underneath the music. I thought I was going to pass out or burst into sobs.
Though I tried to hold them in, tears finally started to streak down my cheeks. My lips were pressed together so tightly that I was worried my teeth might puncture through them.
Once my tears finally made themselves known, Leo’s gaze widened, “Oh, is it too loud?” He immediately reached forward, gently removing the earbuds and reintroducing the hum of my apartment. But his calm voice was clearer now, a trade-off I’d never hesitate to take.
“No.” I swallowed, the lump in my throat made the movement almost painful. I lifted my hands to wipe at my cheeks.
“I’m so sorry,” Leo shook his head before stepping between my legs, his hands came up to my cheeks, moving mine out of the way. His thumbs swiped away the moisture, “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” my reply was watery, holding in a sob, “I love it.”
Leo’s lips tipped up in the corner, “These are happy tears?”
I nodded, “So, painfully, disgustingly happy. Thank you.” I sniffed, pulling out of his hold so I could swipe my own cheeks again. Leo stepped to the side to rip some paper towels off of the roll near the fridge and came back to hand it to me.
I wiped under my eyes, frowning at the smudged mascara there.
I tried to absorb the mascara and clean up my makeup around my eyes, before using the black-spotted paper towel to blow my nose.
Finally looking up at Leo again, I tried to plaster on a wide smile, “Do I look okay?”
Leo was studying me, both of his hands braced on either side of my legs on the counter. Inches separated us as he leaned closer, his gaze locked on me. I knew I wasn’t the prettiest crier around, but I hoped it wasn’t enough to turn him off.
I fucking hate it when you cry, Vincent would always tell me.
“You’re stunning, Jacqueline,” Leo replied, “…Did the gifts stress you out, though?”
He knew I didn’t cry when I was sad. He knew I was an anxious crier. I cried when emotion felt overwhelming. When a lump formed in my throat and my chest felt tight. I had always accompanied those bodily signals with negative emotions. A suffocating emotion.
I did feel a little like I was suffocating right now, but not because of anything bad. I didn’t feel negativity, sitting on my kitchen counter with Leo looking between my swollen eyes, red nose, red lips, and flushed cheeks.
I felt something a lot scarier.
Something too good to be true.
A feeling I didn’t think I would ever have the ability to acknowledge again.
“Yes, but…” I thought about my words for a moment, desperate for him to understand, “In a good way, I think.”
Leo smirked before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I didn’t want to snuff your excitement, but Brandon told Nicole and me about your promotion before we left. I wanted to celebrate your success, so I picked these up.”
I sniffed, successfully fighting back another wave of tears.
“You didn’t have to.”
“I know,” Leo lifted a shoulder before reaching for the box of headphones and tearing the clear plastic off, “But I wanted to. Let’s try these next.”
I inhaled a deep breath and nodded, feeling more in control now that I let my body release what it needed to.
I truly didn’t deserve him.
Leo was a caring, wonderful, loving man.
But I didn’t want to let him go, either.