Chapter 1 #2
“Fuck me,” he said instead. He finally got Noah’s stupid belt buckle undone and slipped his hand inside Noah’s sleek boxers. Noah was already hardening against his hand, and Benji’s stomach filled with white-hot lust. It was so potent it drowned out the panic, which was exactly what he wanted.
He nosed at Noah’s cheek. “Please? This night has been so fucking stressful. I need it.”
Noah caught his face and pulled him away. Benji strained, thinking Noah was going to say something idiotic about talking this through. But Noah’s eyes were dark as they looked up at him, even if there was something unbearably soft behind that heat.
“You have to tell me,” he said. “You have to say what you want.”
Benji’s cheeks heated. But this embarrassment was so much better than what he’d been feeling before, everything melting away until it was just him and Noah in the dark backseat. Their own little world, free from painting sabotagers and embezzling CEO brothers and deadbeat dads.
“I told you what I want,” Benji panted. “I want you to fuck me. You said you would, after.”
“Yeah?” Noah slid a hand over his ass, gripping so hard Benji gasped. “How do you want me to fuck you? Want me to put you on your hands and knees? Or do you want to ride me?”
Benji bit his lip. He wanted to lie there and get fucked. But he could put the effort into riding him if it meant being closer to him, holding each other as they fucked. Noah would take over eventually. He always did when Benji was riding him.
Noah pulled Benji’s slacks off and settled him back down on his clothed cock.
“Should’ve made you wear a plug,” he said as he pulled a small packet of lube out of his pocket. “But I thought I was going to take my time with you tonight. Lay you out on our bed and finger you open so slowly you’re crying by the time I finally sink into you.”
Our bed, Benji thought, and shivered. They were living together. They were living together, and Noah loved him and wanted to marry him.
For a moment, he was filled with happiness so huge he wanted to yell.
Then the panic rose back up, huge and overwhelming, just like it did anytime something good happened to him.
The better it was, the more panic it triggered.
It was exhausting. Benji wished he could just accept it and be happy, but it went against every survival instinct that had been drilled into him.
“You should buy me more plugs,” he said, eager to distract himself from his maelstrom of emotions that weren’t getting fucked away as he’d hoped. “I’d wear them. Whatever you want, whenever you want. Plugs, cock rings, cages, whatever.”
I’d wear your collar, Benji thought guiltily.
He’d been thinking about it so much lately.
God, he’d probably think about it even more now that Noah had fucking proposed.
The idea of being Noah’s, belonging to him like that, was much more bearable if they were talking about kinky sex shit rather than marriage.
Noah rumbled a pleased noise and tucked his slick fingers into Benji’s hole. “You’d do whatever I want. Because I asked you to.”
Benji hesitated, hips freezing where they had been rocking back and forth against Noah’s fingers. Was that a jab? Was he mad at Benji for not accepting his proposal? If Benji really did whatever Noah wanted, he would’ve said yes on the spot.
Noah gripped his face, holding his chin so firmly it jerked Benji back to the moment.
“You’d let me do anything I want to this perfect body,” he said. “Because we both know who it belongs to, right?”
Benji relaxed in his grip. Noah was bringing it back to sex. Making sure Benji knew he wasn’t mad. God, Benji didn’t deserve him.
“You,” he breathed, pushing back eagerly against Noah’s fingers. “Please, Noah, I need it.”
Noah spread his fingers inside him, stretching him so sweetly that Benji moaned. Then his slick fingers slipped out of Benji, wiping hurriedly on his bare thigh as he lined Benji up over his cock.
“Go on,” Noah said, holding himself steady. “You wanted it so much. Fuck yourself on it.”
Benji shoved down so fast his hole burned at the stretch.
They had barely prepared him enough, but Benji wasn’t about to stop for more.
He lowered himself until he was sitting heavily on Noah’s thighs.
Then he started riding, whimpering as he angled Noah’s cock so it brushed his prostate on every pass.
The feeling of Noah inside him drowned out all his anxiety about the proposal.
About Dillion’s attempted sabotage. About Michael and his vows to ruin his life.
About Chet randomly appearing again and threatening to take Max away, as if that would ever happen.
He even forgot to wonder if Riona could hear them past the partition, which was something he often worried about when they were fucking in the car.
Nothing mattered when Noah was inside him. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, every fucking time.
Then Noah grabbed his hips, stilling him. Benji groaned excitedly as Noah started fucking into him like they both wanted.
“Yeah,” he heard himself slur. His mouth smeared against Noah’s suit jacket. “Oh god, just like that.”
Noah’s fingers dug into his waist. “Say my name.”
Daddy. It was on the tip of Benji’s tongue. It felt so right, especially when he was letting Noah take care of him like this. But then he thought about Chet getting dragged out of the gallery, and it felt weird and wrong.
“Noah,” he breathed.
Noah moaned, burying his face in Benji’s sweaty neck. “God. So perfect. I love you.”
Benji shuddered and came.
Noah followed soon after, panting raggedly into Benji’s skin. He rubbed his hands under Benji’s shirt, tracing the notches of his spine, as Benji drifted on a cozy wave of endorphins. But soon enough, reality started to set in again.
Noah kissed his cheek, just below his healing bruise. “Hey. What’s going through that beautiful head?”
Benji stared down at him. His Noah, pristine and perfect, was gazing up at Benji like he hung the moon.
Marry me.
Benji wanted to say yes. He wanted to say yes so bad.
But Benji had always been a coward.
He cleared his throat. “Can we go home?”
Noah blinked. For a moment, Benji thought he saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes. Then Noah nodded, pressing another kiss to Benji’s sore cheek.
“Of course,” he said.