Chapter 13
Benji was suddenly glad for the expensive cologne with names he used to make fun of. His usual shitty deodorant wouldn’t cover up his nervous sweat.
“You’re going to do great,” Noah assured him as they waited for Katee Robson to come into his office. “And if you don’t want to answer, just squeeze my hand, and I’ll take over.”
“Got it.” Benji loosened his collar. They weren’t taking any photos today, but he didn’t want to turn up to the interview in his usual clothes. They already thought he was a money-grubbing hick; he didn’t want to prove them right by showing up in a paint-stained hoodie.
Benji started to pace. He wanted to think about watching Noah do shirtless push-ups in this very office, or Noah taking him over the desk. But he couldn’t stop watching the door, waiting for the woman who was going to come in and pick his life apart.
Noah cleared his throat. “I might have something to distract you.”
Benji stopped pacing to stare at Noah’s crotch in mock-surprise.
“Not that.” Noah took a small black box out of his pocket and got down on one knee.
Benji had to fight down a wave of mortifying joy. It made him shiver and jump on the spot and even do a stupid little spin before he could look him in the face.
“We’ve already done this,” he pointed out, unable to stop grinning.
“But not this part.” Noah opened the box, revealing a simple golden band with a green stud glinting in the office lights.
It was beautiful. Sleek, not too gaudy. Also, it was flat. Yet another thing Benji had figured out since he started dating Noah: he liked flat rings, not rounded ones. Just like he found out that he liked cologne and fancy orange juice and shampoos that weren’t also conditioner.
Benji reached for it.
“Ah,” Noah warned him.
Benji rolled his eyes and stilled. He was vibrating on the spot, forcing his arm to stay still as Noah slid the ring on his finger. Then—because, apparently, he wanted to get Benji all stupid before he had to give an interview—he kissed his finger, right below the green stone.
“It’s emerald,” Noah explained.
Benji sniffed, his throat suddenly thick. “It’s okay, I guess.”
“Yeah?” Noah stood, looking down at Benji with such fondness that Benji’s throat closed up even further.
Benji pressed his knuckles into his eyes, only to tear up again when he spotted the ring up close.
“Ugh,” he said. “What have you done to me? I have to sound smart in a minute.”
“I can take over,” Noah reminded him. “Just squeeze my hand.”
He took Benji’s hands, trailing his thumb over the ring.
“Maybe hide it until we want to do an official announcement,” Noah said. “We’ll tell her at the end.”
“Got it.” Benji leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. Then the door clicked, and Benji reeled back as if Noah had headbutted him.
“Katee,” Noah said politely. “Good to see you.”
Katee Robson beamed at them. She looked just like she did in the photos Benji had looked up last night: short, shiny hair, perfect smile, a strange air of trustworthiness that he didn’t typically find with people in her line of work.
“Good to see you,” she replied. “And this must be your boyfriend! Lovely to meet you, Benjamin.”
“Benji,” Benji replied. He shook her hand with his ringless hand, thankful that Noah had given him handshaking lessons this morning.
“Benji,” Katee said. “I’ll remember that. Do you want me to refer to you by that in the article?”
Benji nodded and sat down in the chair next to Noah. An assistant had dragged in three chairs and arranged them in a semicircle, a small table laden with lemon water stuffed between them. Noah and Benji on one side, Katee on the other.
A united front, Benji thought. His chair was so close to Noah’s that the arms were touching. The first thing Noah did after sitting down was reach out and take Benji’s hand—a silent reminder of his promise to take over if Benji needed.
“So,” Katee began, clicking on her recording device. “Benji! Tell me about yourself.”
Benji suddenly forgot everything he’d ever done.
“Uhhhhh,” he said. “I’m… Benji. I’m a student. I go to community college. For art. I have a little brother who I take care of. Max. He’s in middle school, and he’s really into robots.”
Benji paused. They had agreed to mention Max; it was kind of impossible not to with all the dad crap that had come up. But he didn’t want the public to know much about him. Max deserved a private life.
“And how did you two meet?”
Benji blew out a breath. Here came the lies.
“I worked at a diner,” Benji said. “I spilled coffee on him. He said I could make it up to him by letting him take me out on a date.”
Katee beamed, turning to Noah. “You were instantly smitten?”
“I was,” Noah said quietly. “He had this way about him. Very honest and straightforward. He doesn’t sugarcoat things. And he has a beautiful heart.”
Benji scoffed, cheeks heating. “Jesus, Noah. We’re thirty seconds in, leave some for the end.”
“I can’t help it,” Noah said. “I’m stupidly in love with you.”
Benji scoffed louder, a ridiculous grin twisting his mouth. He felt like a schoolgirl, and it was made infinitely worse since Katee was right there, probably making mental notes to include a “at this comment, Benji blushed and squirmed like a teenage girl.”
“Wow,” Katee said. “The L-word! That’s wonderful. Benji, I assume it’s mutual?”
“He’s alright,” Benji muttered, chewing on his smile so it would go down. Then he sighed. They hadn’t come here so Benji could look aloof; they came here so people could see he was a good guy. A good guy who was genuinely in love with Noah and not his money.
“I’m… yeah,” Benji said awkwardly. He dragged in a deep breath and braced himself. “Son of a bitch swept me off my feet. I was suspicious at first, obviously. Like, a guy like this wants to go out with a guy who works at a diner? Fuck off, right?”
He turned to Noah. “Am I allowed to swear?”
“We’ll bleep it,” Katee said.
“They’ll bleep it,” Noah repeated, still rubbing Benji’s hand, keeping the engagement ring hidden.
“Okay. Good.” Benji swallowed hard. This was more difficult than he thought. Talking to Daph about this stuff was hard enough, let alone a reporter who was going to spread his words everywhere.
Katee asked, “Do you still work there? At the diner?”
“No,” Benji said. “I wanted to focus on school.”
“Totally understandable,” Katee said, scribbling something down. “So, what happened next?”
“Uh, we started seeing each other. I kind of… I don’t know, it took me a while to trust him. To make things serious. And I know it should have been the other way around—everybody assumes it’s the other way around because of the money.”
“Benji was always uncomfortable about the money,” Noah agreed. “I had to talk him into keeping gifts. When he moved in, he wanted to pay rent.”
“It made you uncomfortable?” Katee repeated.
Benji shrugged. He suddenly wished he were wearing his collar. The comforting weight of it was much like the chastity cage—a constant pressure reminding him that Noah had him. Noah holding his hand wasn’t enough; he needed it around his throat. Claiming him.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Benji said. “It’s nice.
Like, I’ve been working since my sophomore year of high school.
I’ve been taking care of a kid on my own for years.
It’s not like I was gonna turn down a car if Noah really wanted to give it to me.
But whenever he gave me a gift or took me to a restaurant where the napkins were real fabric, and the menu didn’t have prices, or whatever—I don’t know.
Kinda made me feel like I was waiting for something shitty to happen to even it out.
That was my whole thing with Noah, actually.
He just… He kept being so good. Sweet and kind and attentive and so understanding.
I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it turns out he’s just perfect like that. ”
Noah chuckled. “Not quite perfect.”
“Right,” Benji said, eager to get to a joke after so much naked sincerity. “You have all those weird health-food smoothies that stink up the kitchen. Everybody has to have something.”
He turned back to Katee, who was watching him with a smile so soft it made his hackles go up. Like she not only believed their love story but was touched by it. By him.
This is good, he assured himself as the panic climbed. You’re meant to be showing people your gooey side! Who cares if you feel like you’re showing them your dumb fleshy heart on a plate?
Katee cleared her throat, her smile returning to normal parameters. “I heard you’re going up in the art world, Benji. After Mrs. Presley bought your painting for an unheard-of sum of money—for community college, anyway—everybody’s been buzzing about your sudden rise. How did you find that?”
“Baffling,” Benji replied. “I keep expecting to seize up in an art block, with all the new pressure. It’s easy to paint when the only person who cares is your teacher, right? But now everyone’s looking, I get emails from these foreign galleries. It’s wild.”
“But no art block yet?”
“No,” Benji replied, thinking of all the golden paint he’d used since he got home from Bali. “I’ve been very inspired.”
Noah’s thumb rubbed over his knuckles. He was watching Benji with that same look he’d been wearing when the photographer snapped those photos days ago, the first official photos they’d ever taken together.
Some of them would even be in this article.
It made Benji’s teeth itch, knowing that everyone would see Noah looking at him with such bare affection, knowing that they’d see Benji looking back at him just the same.
But if that was what it took to make the vultures shut the fuck up, he’d take it.
He’d promised Noah he’d open up. He could do it for the camera, if that’s what it took.
“I’ve been told your relationship with your dad is complicated,” Katee started.
Benji snorted. “You could say that, yeah. We hadn’t talked in years before he started showing up and yelling at me for the cameras. He doesn’t know anything about my life.”
“He’s been saying some very volatile things,” Katee said. “Insisting you’re unsafe for Max, who you have custody of.”
“Ever since our aunt died,” Benji agreed. “She took care of us since we were kids.”
“Your parents couldn’t?”
“I don’t know about couldn’t. They didn’t. When she died, I had no idea where my parents even were. So obviously, I got custody. Chet—Dad—never fought for it.”
“But now he’s back?”
“Yep!” Benji grinned bitterly. “Anything for money and attention. Before he showed up at the art show, the last time I saw him was at Aunt Nat’s funeral, asking for a loan. He sold stolen cars out of a shop in Missouri.”
“Fun,” Katee said. She lifted her notebook paper to read from the next page. “I do have here that he’s been arrested multiple times on charges of petty theft, breaking and entering, and fraud.”
“But he’s never sent to prison,” Benji confirmed. “He’s very proud of it. One time, he escaped the cops after a car robbery, and he took me and Mom out to McDonald’s as a celebration. The day before my birthday, which he forgot.”
Katee laughed. “And now he’s back, yelling that his eldest son is a sex worker!”
“That’s what he says,” Benji said, skin prickling. “I mean, the internet says it. So, it must be true.”
Katee put her pen down and leaned forward. “Noah has always insisted this was false. That your classmate who blew the whistle on you several months ago was only trying to get attention. You’re saying your dad is the same?”
“I’m saying…” Benji hesitated. They had been talking with Desmond, their lawyer, about how to go about this. And they’d finally decided on going with straightforward: Benji’s favorite.
“I’m saying I can be kind of… brash,” Benji said.
“And some people don’t like it. So yeah, some of them would love to make people think I’m a piece of shit.
Which was fine when it was just me. But now my dad is trying to bring Max into it.
That was the final straw for me. I don’t like interviews, but I’ll do one if it lets people know I’m not some money-hungry jackass who’s pulling a fast one on Noah.
I’m a community college student who fell in love with a guy he never saw coming.
I just want to be left alone. I want Noah, and I want my art, and school, and privacy, and I want my little brother to get to live his life without worrying he’s going to get taken away by a dad he’s had maybe five conversations with in his whole fucking life. ”
He fell silent, gnawing on his lip. He could imagine Desmond hiding a wince, telling him to ease up on the honesty. We get that you want to be real, Desmond had said when they went over this. But we want a LIKEABLE real. So, pick your words carefully.
Was Benji being likeable? He couldn’t tell. But he knew who would make him likeable as fuck.
He squeezed Noah’s hand.
Noah cleared his throat. “Benji has an incredibly big heart. Unfortunately, Chet has proven time and time again that he isn’t worthy of it. I feel profoundly honored to have it, and to give Benji my own heart in return.”
Shit, Benji mouthed. He stared down at his lap, cheeks burning. If Noah went this hard on their wedding vows, he’d be caught between incredulous laughter and heartfelt tears the whole time.
“Anyhow,” Noah continued. “Thank you for your time, Katee. But Benji has a fitting to get to.”
“A fitting?” Katee looked at Benji brightly, and Benji could see the excited suspicion start to dawn. “Anything interesting?”
“Yes, actually.” Noah pulled their joined hands between them, uncovering Benji’s engagement ring. “I’m making Benji a wedding suit.”
Katee gasped, staring at Benji’s ring. “You two are getting married?”
“We are.” Noah kissed the green stone in Benji’s ring, the softness of his mouth around the ring making Benji break out in pleasant shivers. “A small, quiet ceremony. Just us and our closest people.”
Katee’s eyes flashed. Benji could see her think about the inevitable Michael question: rumors of him getting fired, photos surfacing of him stumbling drunkenly around the city. Then Katee straightened in her seat, and Benji remembered Noah telling him she had a surprising amount of integrity.
“Congratulations,” Katee said finally. “Can I get a hint at what Benji can look forward to? Are we thinking about a suit? A gown? Something in between?”
“It’s a surprise,” Noah said. “You’ll just have to wait.”