Chapter Thirty-Eight
31st December
Ellis
Having time to get all dressed up is a rarity. Even before I got pregnant that night out last year was the first time I got dressed up in months. When Liam told me to lock the bathroom door and take as much time as I want to get pampered while he gets the kids ready for the team’s New Year’s party at first I argued, but I didn’t argue hard.
When you have a baby, every moment of levity is a blessing and I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. So I am running myself a hot bubble bath with all the luxuries, with no distractions or interruptions.
Anders asked us to be there about eight, so I have time to soak a little before I do anything else. I went to the hairdresser earlier in the day so my hair is clipped up in pin curls ready to be taken down at the perfect moment. Even that night over a year ago I didn’t take all this time. I showered and threw on the only dress I had. If I had known where the night would lead I probably would have taken more time to prepare. I’m not going to make that mistake twice, and tonight I am planning on ending the night with fireworks of my own.
I am planning on seducing my man tonight. Not that it will take much work, he has been obsessed with me since I got the okay from the doctor to have sex again. I can’t lie, I was worried he wouldn’t love my body after having Charlotte, but I think he is more obsessed now than before. Something about knowing I carried his child drives him wild. And everything we went through has bonded us closer together than I could have imagined.
I wouldn’t have it any other way; there is nothing more I want than to enter the new year in his arms.
By the time the water is cold I am shaved and scrubbed, ready to moisturise to make me velvety smooth. My dress for tonight is a new purchase; it’s a black Sixties shift dress with white feathers on the trim. Lyndsey said they highlighted my long legs and demanded I buy it or else. I wasn’t going to wait around to find out what she’d do to me.
Cassie also told everyone we had to look our best tonight because she’ll be sharing the New Year’s pictures online leading up to midnight. I’ve never been on the official Spears socials, so that should be interesting. I have been on Liam’s over the last few months, since the night with Michael at the arena, but this is different. Speculation over our relationship was rampant at first – or so I’m told. But like everything else, it quickly faded into the back of everyone’s minds. Perhaps more events and photos like today will further cement me as part of Spears life. Just another character in the online algorithm that fans accept.
Last New Year’s Eve, Liam was a single bachelor attending alone. Now he has a girl and two kids. It must feel like whiplash to those who have followed him over the years. Since the season started back up, me and the kids have tried to attend a few games, always ending up on the big screen – much to Jack’s amusement. I was surprised that when our faces flashed for everyone to see, we were met with cheers.
Liam has always warned me that people online will have a lot to say whenever he posts about our family, but it seems those worries were not completely necessary. Our situation might not be adored by all, but it seems overall that we’ve been welcomed with open arms.
Luckily, I’ve built up a much thicker skin over the past year. I no longer care about what others think – the fans, my distant mother, Michael. They don’t matter.
Cassie remains cautious. She cares enough for the both of us. She has let us know she has passed along strict orders to delete any unsavoury comments about me or the kids tonight. God bless Cassie. Not that I would see them myself anyway. It proved a lot easier to shut down my personal social media accounts. I only use the business one for Bloom and Blossom these days and as I never post pictures of myself on there, fans don’t really link it to me.
I think back to the worries I had just a few months ago, and I want to laugh. I want to go back in time and shake myself. I was doing exactly what my mother wanted – living for the approval and opinions of others, rather than myself and what I really want. Now I’ve finally taken the plunge, shown the world who I am and what I want, and it wasn’t nearly half as scary as I expected. The world continued to spin, and I continued to be happy.
Before long, I am finishing up my make-up. I’m no expert, but I know the basics. Tonight, I am pushing my skills to the limit. Red lip and winged liner to carry on the vintage feel of my dress, but I have brushed some silver glitter on my eyelids to match my silver strappy heels. I haven’t worn heels in over a year so my bag is packed with plasters as well as baby wipes.
Every time I try to help with the kids I get waved away by Liam letting me know he’s got it. I don’t doubt it, but I still feel a little out of control and guilty. Here I am pampering myself, leaving him to get himself and two kids ready and one of them is a wiggling baby. I know it’s ridiculous – I mean, if he couldn’t handle it he would let me know.
I wonder if I’ve done too much. I don’t know what I’m trying to prove. Of course I want to look good for Liam, but he loves me in the middle of the night with bedhead and baby vomit on my shirt just as much, if not more, than he loves me when I put in effort.
It still feels wrong sometimes that I get to be with a man like him. Athletic and strong, handsome as hell and I am just a mum who owns a flower shop. We shouldn’t fit, we shouldn’t work the way we do, but we do. My body fits right alongside his; when I need something he is willing to do whatever is needed to help and I do the same for him.
It takes a lot for me to let down my walls but when it comes to Liam I think they were less walls and are more like pieces of paper I tried to hide my heart behind. It didn’t work. And I am so glad it didn’t.
The street outside of Anders’s house is packed full of cars. I only realise as we pull up that I have never really looked at his house: it’s big. Of course it is, he is rich but it’s bigger than I thought it would be. I saw it at Thanksgiving but it looks so different covered in Christmas lights and holly garlands. It basically glows tonight, looking like something from a holiday film. I think it might be bigger than our place, that’s probably why he throws the team parties, well that and his captain status.
Liam has Charlotte strapped to his chest and she is napping softly against his black shirt. Jack is between us holding our hands and everyone watching can see our family unit at our strongest. Paparazzi are stood snapping pictures as people enter and Liam covers Charlotte’s face so she’s not blinded by the flashing lights.
Within seconds Cassie, with a newly styled black wavy bob, appears in front of us and Liam’s steps falters.
“You guys look great! Good job Liam!” She nods approvingly. I was expecting her usual put-together look, but this sexy confident Cassie is different to her professional presentation. Short and curvy but clearly confident if the short red sequin dress she has on is anything to go by. My eyes drift over her head, even in high black heels she is a lot shorter than me, and my eyes just happen to slip to Edge. That man can’t tear his eyes off the little vixen and when he realises he’s been caught I just drop my head to one side and try to bite back my laugh as his face turns a wonderful red.
“Anyway, Ellis you are my hero, thank you for keeping this one out of trouble – I have enough to worry about with the other idiots. I could swear they want me to throw things at them.” Cassie slips her arm through mine as I laugh, she tells me Rook’s latest antics and this woman must have the patience of a saint.
Cassie herds us over to a gold sequin backdrop for our official pictures. Just in time for her baby debut, Charlotte wakes up and smiles up at her dad as he unstraps her. To give him credit Liam picked some cute outfits.
Jack is matching him with black pants and a black shirt and he looks so handsome, and Charlotte is pretty as a picture in a gold tulle dress with a matching headband.
The photographer takes a few of all of us and then Cassie takes Charlotte and Jack over to the side for some couple photos. Just when I think she is going to move us along for the next attendees she actually hands Charlotte to her brother for them to get some pictures and promises me she will send them over to me. I think I like that girl a whole hell of a lot.
As we join the party, I can’t take my eyes off Liam and not because of the obvious. Of course he looks good enough to eat and our daughter cuddling on his chest should be illegal because of the butterflies it’s giving me. That isn’t it, though. I can’t stop looking at him because he looks shifty.
It’s like every time he looks my way his attention snaps somewhere else and he whispers something to Edge. Jack is running around with a few other kids and Lyndsey is saying something to me but I can’t hear a word of it. I know he is planning something; he is no poker player, that’s for sure.
There is nothing I could think of that would require all of the guys like this. Even Anders looks on edge which never happens. I feel Cassie come up on my left and her and Lyndsey start talking, I am just nodding along. I could be agreeing to anything but I can’t look away from my man. That is until Jack pulls on my dress. “Mum! I want to come to this party every day!” Before I can reply though he runs off again disappearing into the crowd of children. When I look up again the guys are gone.
I don’t know where but maybe this will give me a break and shut my brain up. The drink Lyndsey passes my way will help with that as well. Jack is also acting weird as the night goes on. This is explainable though; my boy has had so much sugar he is basically vibrating. Every few minutes he comes and asks me if it’s time. And every time I tell him he’ll know when it’s time because everyone will be counting down from ten.
He does not seem satisfied with that though, still asking and asking. I think he will crash for days after this. Anders just had to have a chocolate fountain and a sweets bar for the kids.
It makes a change from every other New Year we have had though, normally he doesn’t care. It’s just another day for him, I do let him stay up and watch the countdown but this is the first time we have ever really celebrated, so seeing him so excited for midnight is a strange feeling. I’m actually glad he’s having fun. Every person in this room seems to be his new best friend. Liam just popped upstairs to put Charlotte in a pop-up cot that Anders apparently bought just for tonight. Who knew giant hockey players could be so sweet to a random British woman and her kids. These ones are apparently sweet without even trying.
Liam is back just before midnight and is looking at me like he is going to eat me alive. I wanted to seduce him, but I was planning on waiting until we were home. I’ve never felt irresistible until I met Liam years ago and it worked just the same this time. Since last year, he has looked at me like I’m his tastiest snack.
When he holds out his hand to dance I think I melt a little bit. All night there have been people dancing, some slow dancing with their partners and some just bouncing around, but when Liam takes me in his arms I know which one we are about to do.
Dancing isn’t exactly a strength for either of us but he is light on his feet. I trust him to lead me around the makeshift dance floor in Anders’s dining room. We sway and spin together and everyone else falls away. Then he dips me and I laugh so hard I nearly fall out of his arms. I did not expect it for a second but I know he won’t drop me. He holds me tight, gripping my thigh in his hand with the other hand spread over my back.
As it gets even closer to midnight everyone starts to filter out of the house and onto Anders’s land. I would say garden but damn this is far beyond a garden, there are flower beds and outbuildings as well as a covered pool that I am sure Jack will ask to visit again next summer.
Liam has my hand in his until he pulls me to the middle of the gathering crowd. He locks eyes with me and doesn’t break the contact while he drops down onto one knee before me.
My heart seems to stop for a moment. The crowd around me melts away. “Ellis Ainsley,” he says. “This year has been crazy, but one of the best years of my life. From the moment I saw you again in that bar I knew I had found my way home. I can’t wait to come home to you every day for the rest of our lives. You have already given me a family. But would you do me the honour of being my wife?” He gently opens the box to reveal the most beautiful diamond ring I could ever have dreamed of owning. “Will you marry me?”
I catch my breath as the lump in my throat grows larger. “Yes!” With perfect timing and co-ordination, the sky above lights up with fireworks as the word leaves my mouth. A thundering applause and cheering from everyone around us rips through the air. I jump into Liam’s arms and kiss him hard.
When I finally pull my lips from his, he slips the ring on my finger as I nearly burst into tears. It’s everything I would want – because it came from him, and I would take a piece of string if it’s all he could give me.
Just like that, he is not my boyfriend, or my partner, or my co-parent – he is my fiancé. And I love him more than I could explain.
A second later, Jack is jumping at our side and climbing up me like a spider monkey until he is swinging around my neck. Maybe it isn’t all chocolate that has made him this hyper, because he doesn’t look the least bit as surprised by Liam’s question as I am.
“Yay!” Jack cheers.
With the picturesque scene surrounding us, all I can think about is grabbing Charlotte, Jack and Liam and holding my whole family in my arms.