Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The morning light filtered through the window into the room Jake had kept private for so long.
Ru gazed at him, his lips swollen from kisses, his eyes dark with desire.
Jake felt a momentary surge of nervousness, not about what was to come, but about what it meant to cross the line he’d drawn long and deep.
Ru seemed to sense his hesitation. “Second thoughts?”
Jake hesitated before shaking his head. “No. It’s just… it’s been a while.” Those nameless, anonymous encounters, immediately forgotten, they meant nothing. But this? This was different. The admission cost him something, a small surrender of the control he’d maintained for so long.
“For me too.” A hint of nervousness flickered across Ru’s face.
The shared confession hung between them. Jake reached out, tracing the line of Ru’s collarbone with his fingertips, watching goosebumps rise in the wake of his touch.
“We can take it slow,” he said, though every cell in his body screamed otherwise.
“Or we could not.” Ru’s smile was somehow both wicked and sweet, and Jake chuckled, melting the tension holding his shoulders tight.
He backed Ru towards the bed, savouring the anticipation building between them. When Ru’s legs hit the mattress, Jake’s hands dropped to the loose joggers Ru wore. It was the work of moments for every shred of clothing to fall to the floor, leaving Ru naked under the winter light.
Jake was mesmerised. The lean strength of Ru’s body, the contrast of dark hair against pale skin, his arousal and want, for him, unashamedly and fully exposed.
But it was Ru’s eyes, sure and steady, wanting yet not demanding, that caused Jake’s breath to catch.
“Beautiful,” he said, the word inadequate, as he brushed a thumb across the bruising marking Ru’s face.
“Even though I look like I’ve gone ten rounds and come out the loser?”
“My poor bruised and battered boy. You need to let me take care of you.”
A flush spread across Ru’s chest, up his neck and into his cheeks; he let his gaze drop. A spear of fire hit Jake hard as basic, primitive want entwined with a burning need to protect and hold, and keep safe. It felt like a punch to the gut, and he sucked in a deep, hard breath to centre himself.
“Hey.” Ru nodded to Jake’s jeans. “Think these might need to go.” He reached for Jake’s belt, glancing up before he undid the buckle, then button, drawing down the zip over the hard ridge of Jake’s erection, swallowing as he pushed denim and cotton down muscled thighs.
“God,” Ru whispered, eyes traveling from Jake’s chest down to where he was hard and ready. “You’re…”
“Yours.” Christ, where had that come from… But as Jake gazed down at Ru, the truth of the word hit hard. “Yours,” he said again, little more than a whisper, “for as long as you want.”
Ru moved backwards onto the bed, pulling Jake with him. They landed together on the sheets, Ru underneath. Their bodies aligned, the full-length contact of skin on skin electric, drawing groans from them both.
Jake braced himself on his forearms, looking down at Ru spread beneath him, dark hair stark against the white pillowcase. “Tell me what you want,” he said, needing to hear it, needing the sharp clarity of words.
Ru reached up, cupping Jake’s face between his palms. “You,” he said simply. “However you want me.”
Claiming Ru’s mouth in a deep and breathless kiss, Ru pulled him closer, every sigh, every whimper, urging Jake on.
The kiss was everything, but it wasn’t enough.
Jake settled his weight more fully between Ru’s thighs, feeling him hard and hot against his hip, the friction as they moved together sending shockwave after shockwave to his cock.
The frantic urge to take Ru dug its claws into Jake as their rutting picked up pace, growing more and more desperate.
It would be over before they’d even begun.
He wanted to savour, to taste, to draw out every moment.
He wanted to chart each inch of Ru’s body until he knew it as well as his own.
Jake pulled back, his body screaming in protest, before he dropped to Ru’s throat, trailing kisses all the way down until he reached Ru’s pulse point, sucking, licking, and sucking again, stretching the skin.
Ru’s hands tightened on his shoulders, a shuddering sigh rippling through him.
“You like that?” Jake murmured against Ru’s hot skin.
“Yeah,” Ru breathed. “Do it again. Harder.”
Harder.
The demand unleashed something savage within Jake. He sucked hard, feeling the blood rise to the surface, leaving a bruise that would linger for days… Ru, carrying his mark… Making Ru his, and his alone… Something ancient and basic stirred deep inside, urging him to take and possess.
Jake kissed, and licked, and sucked his way down Ru’s body, across the planes of Ru’s chest, into the slight dip between his ribs, and over his lightly muscled stomach. Ru’s fingers were in his hair, not pushing but holding on, his breathing growing more uneven with each new discovery Jake made.
When Jake rimmed Ru’s belly button with the tip of his tongue, Ru arched off the bed with a gasp.
“Hmm, sensitive.” Jake licked and lapped, sucked and kissed. “Important to know,” he murmured against Ru’s hot, sweat slicked skin. “Essential.” Kiss. “Information.” Suck. “Gathering.” Lick.
“Oh, fuck,” Ru gasped, his voice shuddery.
“Not yet, baby, not yet. Just learning what makes you feel good.”
“Everything.” The word dissolved into a moan as Jake’s hand slid down to wrap around him. “Everything you do feels good.”
Jake stroked him slowly, watching Ru’s face. Every bite down on his lip, every flutter of his eyelids. Watching Ru come undone.
“I want to taste you.”
Ru’s eyes opened to meet his. “Yes. God, yes.”
Jake moved down Ru’s body, settling between his thighs.
His heart jolted. Ru, spread out before him, flushed and wanting, Ru’s cock hard and leaking against his stomach.
Jesus, but he’d never seen anybody as beautiful as this man who stared up at him with eyes shining with trust and faith that Jake would never hurt him.
Slowly, Jake lowered his head, maintaining eye contact as he took Ru into his mouth.
The sound Ru made, part gasp, part moan, released a tsunami of heat straight to Jake’s own hot, pulsing cock.
His fingers twitched to wrap around himself but if he did Jake knew he’d shatter into a million pieces.
He sucked in a deep, ragged breath, mustering every drop of strength and determination to bring himself under some kind of control.
Because in this moment, it was all about Ru, about his needs, his wants.
Jake released a slow exhale as he took his time stroking, squeezing, sweeping his calloused thumb pad over the slick, juicy tip of Ru’s cock, exploring what made Ru’s breath catch, what made his hips strain upwards into his touch.
“Jake,” Ru gasped. “I’m close… if you don’t stop…”
Jake pulled back, looking up the length of Ru’s body, taking in the flush spreading across his chest, the desperation in his eyes.
“And if I don’t want to stop?”
“Then I won’t last. And I want it to.”
Jake pressed a kiss to Ru’s inner thigh, feeling the muscle jump beneath his lips. “We have all day, and all night too, if you want. No rush.”
Because this wasn’t just about now, about immediate release. It was about exploration, about learning each other in a way that, only days before, Jake had thought impossible.
“I want you inside me, Jake.” Ru’s fingers brushed Jake’s cheek, the touch warm, tender, and caressing.
Jake’s heart jumped, and his mouth dried. “You’re sure?” he asked, his voice gravelly and rough. “That’s—”
“It’s what I want. And need. Only from you.” Ru stared at him, his gaze steady and clear in the white light that filled the bedroom.
Jake’s chest filled with a million fluttering wings. Just moments before, he’d been in control, the master of the situation. It was what he did, it was who he was, but caught in the crosshairs of Ru’s sure gaze, doubt and panic bubbled deep in his stomach.
Jesus, but he wanted Ru like that, wanted to feel every part of him.
But it had been so long since… what if he couldn’t…
he didn’t even have any supplies, no condoms or lube for those rare, soulless trips into Exeter or Bristol, driven by a burning need that left him physically sated yet emotionally empty.
“… on PrEP. After Cooper, I got myself checked out. There’s been nobody since. If that’s what you’re worried about, but I understand if you don’t want…” Ru’s gaze dropped, his sureness draining away as he bit down on his lower lip.
“What? No! It’s just been so long since I…” Jake raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t want to be a disappointment.”
Ru looked at him through the hair that had flopped across his eyes, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “You could never be a disappointment to me, Jake Whitby. Never, ever think that.”
The words were said plainly. Clear and direct, with no embellishment. A statement of fact.
The mild panic that had grabbed at Jake faded to nothing. Ru had faith in him, and it was all he needed.
Jake cupped his hands to Ru’s face and kissed him long and deep. “Want to see you,” he breathed against Ru’s lips.
Ru nodded, spreading his thighs wider in invitation. Jake settled between them. No lube… fuck it. His brow scrunched down into a hard frown.
“Hand cream works. Unless it’s perfumed with lavender. Don’t want us to end up smelling like my old gran. Because that would be super weird.”
Jake caught Ru’s eye. The gentle good humour, the soft smile on his lips, he’d read Jake’s thoughts. Jake laughed, the moment’s tension falling away.
“No lube, or hand cream of any description. Told you it’s been a long time.”
“Then you know what to do.” Ru’s smile was still there, but there was challenge in his voice.
Jake never backed away from a challenge. Keeping his eyes locked on Ru’s, he spat onto his fingers.