Chapter 14
Sam
Sam drew her knees up to her chest as Maya handed her a coffee.
“Urgh, Maya. It’s too early.”
“It’s six thirty. I’ve been up for hours. Here you go, two sugars, black. That should wake you up.” Maya, fully dressed and perfectly glammed up, sat on the edge of the bed. “Do you want to talk about it—yesterday?”
“About what?” Sam groggily blew on the surface of her coffee.
“That sounds like a no,” Maya said. She leaned forward and gently touched Sam’s hand. “I’m here, when you need to talk.”
Sam shrugged but smiled. Maya was being so kind to her, so warm and supportive. She’d left a hot water bottle in her bed last night and had been fast asleep by the time Sam had come to the room. This was the first time she’d spoken to her since messing up yesterday.
“Thanks for the hot water bottle,” she said.
“And thanks—I know you’re here for me. I’m just not ready to talk about it.
” She shouldn’t have listened to her father in the qualies.
She should’ve gone with her gut and let herself have fun.
Just as she should have yesterday. But every time she thought of going out there as herself, she froze as the words messed up and her father’s voice telling Becky to listen to Leo drowned out everything else in her head.
She knew she’d messed up the qualie, but she’d been sure she’d have been placed.
Fourth—no one remembered fourth. She’d have settled for third, even though it wouldn’t have been enough for Jake Harrington.
Anything less than gold didn’t rank with him when it came to Sam.
“Do you remember Breckenridge?” Sam said quietly. “The year Leo took first place.”
“Yeah, he was unstoppable.” Maya blinked.
Sam looked down into her coffee. “That night … we didn’t go to the lodge right away.
Dad stayed behind, talking to some suit about Leo.
Celebrating and pushing for a deal.” Her voice tightened.
“I hadn’t placed at all, but Dad didn’t care.
He was locked in on Leo and this deal. Mom had had a few glasses of wine so … ” Sam paused. “So, Leo drove.”
Maya’s head shot up. “Wait, what. You never told me Leo was driving.”
“I wasn’t able to.” Sam’s tone was flat. “It was … oh God, Mai. It was such a great night, you know. We were all on a high and so hopeful for Leo.”
Maya shook her head. “And then the accident—and he never skied again.”
Sam nodded. “It was snowing hard, and then out of nowhere this huge elk was in front of us. Everything spun. It was like we were moving in slow motion and all I can remember is the sound of metal screeching, crumpling against the trees, country songs on the radio, and then silence.”
Maya’s eyes welled up. “Sam.”
Sam wiped away a tear. “I walked away without a scratch, Maya. But Mom … Leo …” Sam put a hand over her mouth, choking back her tears.
Maya took the coffee cup away from her and hugged her tightly.
Sam leaned on her friend. Her shoulders shaking as tears streamed down her face.
The sensation of being in that car surrounded her again.
The realization that her mom wasn’t moving, just crying quietly.
That Leo was screaming. He’d been destroyed that night, physically, emotionally and mentally.
Maya held her, quietly and gently. Her hand rubbed Sam’s back in circles until she calmed down. Then, slowly, Sam pulled back and wiped her face on her pjs’ sleeve, as Maya dabbed under her eyes, trying not to dislodge her makeup.
“I’m sorry,” Sam said.
“Girl, I don’t need your apology for being real.” Maya pulled a tissue from her pocket. “This I can fix.” She pointed to her face. “But as for the rest, today we just get up, get some air.”
Sam gave a watery laugh. “Sounds solid.”
Maya stood up, sniffling. “Step two though.” She smiled.
“Is a little more fun. Explain to me—what is this?” She reached down behind the bed.
A flash of hot pink and deep green caught Sam’s eye.
The ski jacket she’d bought in Valentina’s store.
“This is outrageously beautiful. And you—you are putting this on.”
Sam half laughed. “I am not.”
“You are. It’s too cool to sit here in this room.
And don’t tell anyone I said this, but I’m not a big fan of the team’s kit.
” Maya pressed a finger to her lips while shaking the jacket.
Her eyes widened in delight. “Hello? Did you see this?” She tugged the label from the inside of the jacket.
“This is a sign, girl—it’s a Montalier! A vintage Montalier! ” She flung the jacket at Sam.
Sam caught it with one hand. Gripping it tightly, her stomach fluttered as if filled with a blizzard. Should she wear it? It was a million miles away from what she’d normally wear. She squeezed it, loving the softness of the fabric, the fluffiness of the down.
“What’s that?” Maya was beside her, pulling at the ski pants from behind the bed as Sam laughed. “Wow! This is …”
“It’s crazy.” Sam breathed out. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I saw them in Valentina’s store and had a mad moment.”
“… bloody fabulous!” Maya gasped. She held up the ski pants. “And it matches! Ooooooh please wear it.”
“No,” Sam spluttered. “It’s too much. It’s all wrong and too bright.”
Maya scrunched up her face. “I get ya, but … it’s so great—will you at least try it on for me?”
Sam hid her face in her hands, then peeped out from behind her fingers. Maya grinned at her and held out the ski suit.
“Pretty please—remember when I picked out your prom dress? Uh-huh, yeah you do. I never get it wrong, and I know this is going to be amazing on you. Please try it on, please!”
“Fine!” Sam slipped out of her pjs. “Give it here.”
Shimmying into the ski suit, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
Her face was glowing, her eyes sparkling.
She didn’t look like she’d been sobbing her heart out moments ago.
Anyone looking at her would think she was full of confidence, brimming with brilliance.
Zipping up the jacket she spun around to face Maya.
“Tah-dah!” She flung her arms out wide, then did a twirl as Maya clapped.
Maya walked around her, her five-foot-two body bouncing as she failed to suppress a grin. “Oh, Sam—it’s like it was made for you.”
“Do you think?” Sam grabbed her hairbrush and dragged it through her hair. “I really do like it but it’s not really me, is it?”
“I don’t know.” Maya stood back, her hand on her hip as she looked Sam over. “You look like you, and you’re smiling, and you seem … well, do you want me to be honest?”
Sam nodded. Maya wouldn’t say anything to hurt her. “Please.”
“You look like fun and the Sam I know is fun.” Maya’s eyes beseeched Sam’s. “And ever since we got here you’ve been not as much fun and I’m worried. That’s all.”
Sam pulled the zipper down. Finn had said something similar to her. She needed to relax, to find the joy in the moment or else she was going to lose it all.
“Fun?”
“Sam,” Maya said, stepping toward her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t.” Sam pulled the zipper back up. “You’re so right, Maya. I need to have fun. And if this damn gorgeous outfit isn’t fun, then I don’t know what is!”
“Damn right!” Maya hollered, jumping up and down. “You’re wearing it?”
“Can I?” Sam plaited her hair, then grabbed her gloves. “Won’t the team have something to say about it?”
Maya shook her head. “Uh-no. I know the rules inside out, back to front. You are obliged to wear the kit for all competitions, events and anywhere else you’re representing the team, but your own free time is catwalk time, baby!
You can wear what you want then.” She hopped up and down.
“I have had the best idea ever. You are going to love this.”
Sam laughed; Maya’s energy was contagious. “What now?”
“Let’s make this a moment. A photo shoot—me, you, and that Slay Queen of a ski suit.” She snapped her fingers in the air. “This outfit is too good to not be seen.”
Sam’s heart raced a little. “But why? You can’t post it to the team socials.”
Maya’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “No, but you can post it on your own page—take some control of things for yourself.”
Sam bit her lip. “Oh, okay.”
“And no one can say a thing, and what’s even better is that your page has almost as many followers as the team page,” Maya burbled. “And it’s brilliant. I’ll accept your thanks now—you’re welcome!” She dipped into a quick bob of a curtsey.
Sam scrunched her nose up.
“Well, I do look pretty damn good in this …”
“That’s my girl!” Maya ran to the window. “Now come on. This light is great.”
Standing in front of the mirror Sam couldn’t help but grin.
Her father was going to hate this, but that didn’t matter.
All that mattered was that for the first time in months she was feeling like herself again.
Maya was right. She needed to take back her own power, and everyone needed to see her do it.
“Are you done yet?” Sam tried to not laugh at Maya. She was lying face down in the snow, awkwardly angling the camera up at Sam.
“Shhhhh! Hold that pose. Don’t move! Do it for the grid.” Maya’s voice was muffled. “Got it! Look at this—man, I am good, and I don’t get paid nearly half as much as I should.”
Sam breathed out as Maya staggered to her feet, snow stuck to her coat and hair. Brushing her friend down she spontaneously hugged her.
“Thanks for this, Maya,” she said. “I didn’t realize how much I needed it.”
“No biggie,” Maya said, her eyes warm. “What are friends for? And speaking of friends—I promised Finn I’d call in this morning and make him my famous smoothie. You coming with?”
Sam shook her head. She wasn’t ready to face Finn yet even though the right thing to do would be to go and apologize for being such a diva.
“Sam.” Maya sounded slightly sad. “It’s his final today. You should come with me—wish him luck.”
“I’ll catch him later,” Sam said quickly. “I just don’t want to show him this.” She glanced down at her ski suit.