Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
On my way to Xander’s shop, I collect coffees and bagels for everyone. It’s eleven in the morning, but I know he’s tattooing a friend of ours today, so I figure it won’t be a big deal to drop by.
I couldn’t sleep, and I’ve debated for a while if I should do this, but I have to do something, or I’ll go insane.
Since Carolina started dating Josh, I’ve been feeling, I don’t know, jealous?
Not in a way that I’m not happy for them, but it’s just that Carolina is completely occupied with him now.
Whenever we’re together, she’s always talking to or looking at him, smiling and laughing like she never did with me before.
It bugs me, and I miss our banter. I know it’s stupid, but I consider her my new best friend and miss spending time with her.
So, I’m just going to ambush her while she’s working at Xander’s shop. At least she can’t run away from me there, and Josh is still at home sleeping, so nothing will distract her.
I walk into the shop, and the door dings, signaling my entry. Carolina is leaning over the counter, jotting something down on a notepad. She glances up with a customer service smile, but the smile disappears as soon as she sees me.
“Oh, come on. Don’t give me that vacant zombie look, or I might think you’re out to eat me,” I tease, smirking at her.
“Zombies eat brains, so you’re safe,” she says before returning her attention to her work.
Angela, who is getting tattooed by Xander, laughs from the back. “Ouch, what did you do to this girl, Clay?”
“Nothing. Best friends like to tease each other, right, kitten?” I say, but Carolina just maintains her neutral expression.
I place her coffee in front of her before heading to the back and giving Angela the coffee and bagel I bought for her.
“Thank you. I was getting a bit drowsy here.” She at least smiles at me.
“What are you up to?” I ask.
“Oh, just watching some classes I recorded for an upcoming test,” she says, shaking her phone.
I place Xander’s coffee in the not-sanitized zone and put a bagel beside it.
He stops for a second, looking up at me. “Hey, love. Thank you,” he says.
I lean down to kiss his temple. “Anything for you.”
“I didn’t know you were coming over. Is everything okay? Why are you awake?” he asks, setting down the tattoo machine and taking off his gloves to sip his coffee.
“I couldn’t sleep and thought I’d come say hi to you and Angela.” I shrug.
“That’s nice, but I’m sorry, this tattoo is taking longer than expected, so I don’t have time to chat,” he apologizes.
“Don’t worry, I’ll just bug your little assistant a bit,” I smile and lean down, kissing him before letting him get back to work.
Carolina is busy drawing on her notepad when I reach the front again.
I sneak up behind her and peek over her shoulder to see what she’s sketching.
It’s a stunning picture of an ice rink surrounded by trees, with the skyline in the background.
There are silhouettes of people skating on the ice, and the main focus is on a pair of ice skates lying on the rink.
She’s drawn it all with a pencil, but it looks impressive.
I can’t help but ask, “How do you draw so well?”
Carolina startles. She didn’t notice me coming up behind her. She tries to turn the notebook, hiding it, but I take it out of her hand and give it a closer look.
It’s pretty.
“Give it back,” she says, reaching for it.
“Tell me, and I will,” I say, holding it over her head.
“My mother was an artist. We used to draw a lot when I was little. Now give it back,” she demands, and I hand it back as promised.
“So, you’re into art? Xander is too. You could be his new art buddy and go with him to exhibitions and stuff.” Xander huffs from the back. “Not that I’m not enjoying them, but I’m sure it would be much more fun if you could talk about art while looking at it.”
Gosh, it would be a relief not to have to go to those stuffy things anymore.
They stay silent, and it’s starting to make my skin itch.
“Are you excited for tomorrow?” I ask, changing the subject.
She smiles a little and blushes, looking down at her drawing.
“I am,” she says softly.
That smile and blush aren’t for me, and it’s driving me crazy. Why, though?
“It’s going to be so much fun. After the ice-skating, we go home and eat Christmas cookies Sophia bakes, with some mulled wine Xander always makes for us. Are you down for that too?” I ask.
“I have to work in the evening, and I don’t want to just barge in on all of your family traditions,” she says.
“Nonsense, you’re part of this now too. It would hurt our feelings if you don’t come,” I say, pouting.
“I don’t know,” she contemplates, sounding unsure.
“You’ll come,” Xander’s voice comes from the back, leaving no room for argument.
“Okay,” she whispers.
God, I would love to know if she would comply so easily if he told her to come when we were all in bed together.
When?
Fuck.
“So now that this is settled, what do you want Santa to bring you?” I ask.
“Are you serious right now?” She raises her eyebrows at me. I nod, but she huffs out, “Unlike you, I’m not twelve anymore.”
I hear Angela snicker, but I ignore her. “Okay, no Santa, then. But what are your wishes for Christmas? Josh and Sophia were talking about what they could get you, but I want to give you the best present since I’m your best friend. So, I just ask what you want,” I say.
Her eyes go wide. “They want to buy me something for Christmas?”
“We,” I correct her. “We are going to buy you something.”
“Please don’t.” She looks a little panicked.
“Why?” I furrow my brows.
“Just don’t,” she says, her eyes pleading with me.
I search her face, and it’s clear that she’s genuinely asking me not to.
“What’s the problem with Christmas presents?” I ask her.
Her bored mask slips for a moment, and she looks almost vulnerable. But then, she steps back, and her face shows nothing but indifference again.
“Nothing, I am just not a child anymore, and when you don’t know me enough to know what to get me, you don’t know me enough to get me a present in the first place.”
“It’s a beautiful day to get to know each other better.” I smirk at her.
“It’s a beautiful day to leave me alone,” she deadpans.
As I’m changing the needles on the tattoo machine, Angela huffs and laughs. “I can’t decide if they love or hate each other. It’s like a verbal foreplay. Aren’t you worried?” she asks teasingly.
“It’s fine. They’re just friends and bickering,” I explain.
“Isn’t that like Clay’s love language?” she asks, her tone filled with humor.
But her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I glance over at Carolina, catching Clay smiling down at her.
“Xander, I’m sorry, I was just joking,” Angela quickly apologizes, “You guys are the perfect couple, and a blind man could see how much Clay loves you. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“You didn’t,” I say, trying to reassure her, but my mind is still spinning with her words. I hadn’t considered the possibility of Clay having real feelings for Carolina, and the thought leaves me feeling strangely unsettled.
Never in my life have I been unsure of Clay’s love. I am still not. What I am unsure about is the pint-size but fierce woman who brings stars to my boy’s eyes.
Clay has a thing for broken souls—Exhibit A, me. It’s like catnip for his hero complex. And Carolina screams broken and in need of a savior with every fiber of her being.
She is like a new moon to Clay’s sunshine. He will make it his mission to light her up and make her full again, consciously or not. The question is, can my abyss exist beside her? All I do is absorb his light, and given enough time, she will beam right back.
I finish Angela’s tattoo and make small talk while I clean, then patch her up before we settle up out front. Clay and Carolina make room for us, and she leaves quickly with a smile and goodbye.
“You did amazing again, Xander. That looked so good,” Carolina admires.
“Thanks,” I say, not looking up from the tablet, checking when my next appointment should arrive.
I have fifteen minutes to clean up everything.
“I have to get home to get ready for work,” Clay says. “Have a nice day, kitten.” He winks at her.
“Have a day as pleasant as you are,” she says.
Clay looks like he’s about to reply, but I grab him by the throat, pull him close, and kiss him deeply before he can. My other hand squeezes his crotch while I bite his bottom lip hard.
“Mine,” I nearly growl out against his lips.
I am not a jealous man, but I am fucking possessive. He can flirt all he wants with her, but not while I am standing right here, being ignored by him.
He breathes out, “Yours. Love of my life.”
“Light of mine,” I say, letting go of his crotch, my hand wandering from his throat to his cheek, cupping it and kissing him again, tender this time.
“I’ll text you,” Clay says before leaving the shop without glancing at Carolina.
When I look over at her, her face is red, and she averts her eyes.
Is she blushing because she is ashamed of flirting with my boy or because she wants to be mine too?
Fuck, can I really blame Clay for wanting more from her than just a quick fuck when I have the same fucking problem?