Chapter 46
FORTY-SIX
The bar is unusually slow for a Saturday night, and here I am, cleaning up the tables shortly after midnight.
Cindy comes up beside me and starts pestering me.
“So, spill the beans about the cop you kissed last week! I’ve been waiting for you to tell me, but I’m getting impatient.
” I sigh, showing no interest in sharing.
“Come on, Carolina, don’t be so cold. I always talk to you about Donny.
Is it time? Did you finally get yourself a boyfriend? ”
I raise an eyebrow and ask, “How do you even know we kissed?”
She just shrugs. “Matteo mentioned something like that.”
“Something like that?” I stop cleaning and look at her.
“He said the cop tried to force himself on you, but we both know you would’ve punched him in the privates if he had.” I can’t help but chuckle. It’s getting harder and harder to keep up my bored mask every day when I am so fucking happy. Cindy teases further. “So, is he your boyfriend?”
I bite my lip, feeling like bragging a little. “Yes, he is.”
“Oh my God, Carolina,” Cindy exclaims, grabbing my arms and hopping with excitement. “I’m so happy for you! He’s such a hottie, like one of those K-pop singers. I bet he’s amazing in bed. Did you lose your V-card to him? You won’t find anyone better if you haven’t.”
I’m taken aback by her seemingly genuine happiness for me. Our friendship is more of a like-hate thing, mostly because I can’t stand her most of the time, but I appreciate not having to be alone here in this dump of a place.
“Ladies, looks like it’s an early night tonight,” Donny announces, opening the kitchen door and winking at Cindy, who giggles.
If anyone knows her way around sex, it’s definitely her. Maybe she can help?
I clear my throat. “No, I haven’t lost my V-card to him, but I want to. I’m just unsure how and—”
Cindy interrupts. “We need to sit down for this.” She grabs a bottle of tequila from the bar and pulls me to a table to sit.
Offering me the bottle, I decline, still feeling the last hangover. She takes a sip herself and says, “What do you need to know? I’m an open book.”
“Well, I think I should start by giving him head, but…”
Cindy cuts me off immediately, “Nope, we’re not going to do this, Carolina. Did he go down on you?”
“Not yet,” I admit.
“He needs to be the first to give head, or else you’ll end up just sucking his dick for years without getting anything in return,” she says.
“I don’t think Joshua would—”
Cindy interrupts again. “All men would. If you give him what he wants too easily, he won’t put in the effort. So, make sure he goes down on you first before you do anything for him. Clear?”
I can’t help but smirk. “Yes, ma’am. But you did say I should give him my V-card. Isn’t that also giving him what he wants too easily?”
She laughs. “Fuck that! Losing your V-card is about you, not him. If you were sixteen, I’d say yes, it’s too soon.
But you’re twenty-two, and if you want to get it over with, he’s a great candidate for it.
Even if it’s going to be bad, and trust me, it probably will be, you can look back at it and be proud for tapping that. ”
I laugh, and she smiles before taking another sip from the bottle.
“It will be bad?” I ask, feeling a bit vulnerable.
“Yeah, it might hurt for a bit, but if he cares for you beforehand, it won’t last long. But let’s be real, I’ve never heard any girl say their first time was good. You can only hope it won’t be terrible.”
“Wow, you’re selling this, huh?” I say.
She smiles, “But the second time will be nice, the third time will be good, and after the fourth, you’ll never want to stop again. To get there, you have to get it over with.”
“And how do I start?” I ask, looking down at my hands in my lap.
“Girl, you go over there, get in bed with him, and take his dick in your hands. The rest will follow on its own.”
“Really? Just like that?”
“Just like that. And if, by some miracle, he doesn’t get the hint, just tell him, ‘I want you. Please make me yours.’ That shit drives men crazy,” she says, and I raise an eyebrow.
“You could also just say, ‘Take me’ or ‘Fuck me,’ but I don’t think you’re bold enough for that yet.
But we’ll get there,” she adds with a wink.
I think about it for a minute, and she’s right. I want to sleep with Joshua. I want to have this with him. I’m ready. Fuck it, I’ve been ready for years. I just waited for him.
I take the bottle of tequila from her hand, take a sip, and cough a little before saying, “Wish me luck.” I stand and head to the locker to get my stuff.
“Get it, girl!” she yells enthusiastically after me.