Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
For the last two hours, I have been over at the guys’ place, helping clean up the mess from yesterday. Since the vibe with Clay and Xander feels off, I stick to Joshua and Sophia as much as possible.
Maybe it’s just me overthinking things, but the way Clay looks at me, like a hurt puppy, hurts me too.
What the fuck did I do?
I know what I did. I let myself fall, and now I’m dealing with the consequences.
I have feelings for all of them. Fuck, I messed up.
Joshua is my boyfriend, and he’s perfect in every way.
I’d never leave him for Clay or Xander. But his suggestion yesterday that I could explore my feelings—that’s bound to end in a fucking mess.
Xander and Clay clearly love each other. Anyone can see that.
What would I be to them? A temporary play toy before they lose interest again?
Somehow, I still find it hard to believe someone like Joshua could fall for me.
It’s even harder to believe Clay and Xander find me attractive too.
Maybe Clay just sees me as a challenge. He might want to kiss me just because he thinks he can’t have me.
And Xander? He’s different. How the fuck do I know what that guy is thinking?
Is he just fascinated by the idea of the sad, abused girl?
I’m brushing my hair when there’s a knock on the door, and Sophia pokes her head in, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“The Bay Plaza Mall has a special today. All the shops are open, even the nail salons. And since neither of us is working today, and the guys just left to start their shift…” she winks at me, “… you and I are having a girls’ day out! ”
I can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm, though I have to tease her a bit and release a dramatic sigh. “Aren’t you hungover?”
She dismisses it with a wave. “Pff… forget it. No arguments. If we don’t go today, we’ll have to wait for weeks again. Also, we planned to swim tomorrow for family Sunday, and I bet you don’t even have a swimsuit.”
I shake my head, a hint of vulnerability in my voice as I admit, “I don’t swim.”
“You’re coming. Even if you’re not good at swimming, the swimming center has this huge hot tub where you can just relax. We can chill there while the guys do their laps,” she suggests, smiling.
I hesitate for a moment, then finally decide to open up, surprising myself with how honest I am with her. “Sophia, I… I’m not going to wear a swimsuit in public.”
“Because of your forearm? Honestly, I think it’s healed quite well. But if it bothers you, maybe we could look for a swimsuit with long sleeves?” she muses, her concern genuine.
I hadn’t even thought about the scars. “No, it’s not that,” I admit. “I just don’t have a bikini body.”
Sophia rolls her eyes and scolds me, “Oh, hush woman! I’d kill to have your curves. I can’t even fill an A-cup. I look like a little boy.”
I chuckle at her comment. “Sophia, you’re one of the most beautiful women I know.”
“Right back at you! And I’m certain the three guys who are head over heels for you would agree,” she says with a teasing glint in her eye.
I sigh, shaking my head. “Don’t you start with that shit too. That’s just not true.”
“You’re delusional. But okay. Let’s put the pause button on this conversation for now. Nail salon and shopping?”
“I just spent all my money on Chiara’s laptop,” I admit.
“I told you, it’s on me! Think of it as your Christmas bonus,” she insists.
“I don’t get a bonus from you,” I reply dryly. “I live in your house, Sophia, with my little sister. I think I take more than enough from you as it is.”
“Well, now you do.” She beams. “Come on, grab your jacket, and let’s go.”
“Where’s Chiara?” I ask as we head downstairs.
Sophia’s expression shifts, and her lips turn downward, her nose crinkling up. “I heard some noises from her room. Best we leave her be,” she suggests, and I can’t help but laugh in response.
As Sophia gets her purse, I take a moment to text to Chiara, ensuring she’s aware of our plans. This girl is getting way too independent lately.
I know I should be looking after her more closely, but it’s been challenging to keep up with everything that's been happening.
We’re getting our nails done and tomorrow we’re going swimming. Wanna join?
Chiara
No, thanks. Have fun.
Before I can put my phone away, another text from her lights up the screen.
Can Leo stay over this weekend?
I show the message to Sophia, who cackles. Taking my phone, she quickly types a response.
Use protection and crack a window now and then, please. XO Sophia
I huff a laugh as I read her reply, just in time to see a middle finger emoji pop up in our chat, followed by another text.
Thank you.
Who is this girl lately?
Just as we’re about to head out, the door swings open with a knock, and Xander stops in front of me, looming over me. I tilt my head to look up at him.
“Where are you headed?” he asks after seeing our jackets.
“We’re getting our nails done and shopping for a bathing suit for tomorrow,” Sophia responds.
“Sounds fun, I’m in,” he agrees, moving to let us through.
His response surprises me, but my feet stay where they are.
“You want to get your nails done?” I ask flatly, furrowing my brows at him.
“I want to spend some time with you,” he replies.
Though his words seem meant for both of us, his gaze intently focuses on me.
“Could we use your truck to get to the mall then? It’d be better than taking the sub,” Sophia asks.
“Sure, I’ll bring it around,” he agrees, heading to the driveway.
Sophia turns to me with a playful smirk. “I bet he’ll have plenty of opinions on the bathing suit.”
“I’m dating your brother, Sophia,” I remind her with a hint of annoyance.
“I bet Joshy will appreciate whatever Xander picks out,” she responds casually.
“What color, length, and shape do you want?” the nail technician asks as I sit down.
Sophia and Xander sit on either side of me, each at their own station. Xander’s tall form looks a bit funny squeezed into the all-pink interior.
“Shape?” I echo, puzzled. I didn’t know there were different options. Who would have thought getting your nails done was so complicated?
She rolls her eyes slightly. “Round, square, oval, almond, coffin…”
“She’ll have short, round ones like mine,” Sophia interrupts, coming to my rescue, and I shoot her a grateful look.
“What color are you getting?” I ask Sophia.
“Nude baby pink,” she replies, causing me to scrunch up my nose in distaste, making her chuckle. “There are plenty of other colors to choose from.”
Looking over the options, I quickly rule out all the pink ones. “I’m torn between the dark Bordeaux red and black.”
“How about you get the dark red, and I’ll get black. Then, we can paint a pinky finger in each other’s color?” Xander suggests, and I blink at him.
“That’s adorable! You should totally do that!” Sophia gushes excitedly.
I don’t know what to say, so I simply hold out my hands to the lady and let her do her magic.
Xander and Sophia chat about which stores we should visit and where to eat. I’ve never been here before, and shopping isn’t something I have ever enjoyed. It’s hard to enjoy shopping without money.
Plus, I always struggle to find clothes I like in my size.
When we’re done, Xander pays for all of us, and I give Sophia a questioning look.
She just shrugs. “If he wants to pamper us, we can use the coupon next time.”
I am more than uncomfortable letting them pay for everything. Xander seems to sense this because he stops me as we walk through the mall toward the first store.
“You good?” he asks.
“Sure. Thanks for the nails,” I answer curtly, not looking into his eyes.
He steps closer and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, prompting me to meet his searching gaze. It reminds me of New Year’s Eve, and my heart flips.
Stop that shit right now, stupid organ.
“Do I need to remind you that you deserve to be spoiled?”
When he pulls his hand back, I notice his pinky finger isn’t red but clear. I frown at it. He chuckles softly, bringing his left hand next to his right to show that the pinky finger on that hand is the same color as mine.
“Don’t you think Clay would’ve made a fuss if one of my pinkies didn’t match his too?”
I look up at him, a pang in my chest. This doesn’t feel right. It’s as if I’ve wedged into something I don’t belong in.
“Hey,” he urges, gently gripping my chin to make me meet his gaze again. “You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.” Can this man read minds? “Now be a good girl and enjoy the day out with me,” he adds, offering his hand to me, red pinky finger extended.
I grab his pinky with my hand, still not over how large his hand is compared to mine. A vision of those hands grabbing my tits crosses my mind, and I quickly shake my head to dispel it.
Sophia waits at the entrance of a beauty store. “Come on, ladies, we don’t have all day,” she pushes, heading inside, so we follow her in. “Oh my, that smells so good! Xander, come here!” she calls out from the perfume section.
Xander walks over to her, and I venture further into the store. Surprisingly, there’s a candy section.
What kind of store is this?
A teenage girl stands there, offering candy samples. I pick up a sweet and thank her before returning to the front. The sour apple flavor makes me shudder as I pop the candy into my mouth, and I love it.
I stand next to Xander, watching Sophia as she tests eyeshadow shades on the back of her hand.
Xander turns and notices me sucking on the candy. “What do you have there?”
“A sweet,” I shrug, contemplating if I should buy myself an eyeshadow too, but then I think I could just use one of Chiara’s if I really wanted to try and wear some.
“That’s not a sweet. It smells like sour apple.”
“True,” I agree, pushing half of the candy out of my lips to show him the green color.
He reaches out, pulls it from my mouth, and pops it into his own, causing my eyes to widen in surprise. “Hey! That was mine,” I protest weakly. He smirks as he bites down on the hard shell of the sweet. “You’re not supposed to chew it,” I mumble.
He takes half of the sweet from his mouth and brings it to my lips, pushing it between them, his fingers lingering for a moment. “You need to learn to share, Carolina,” he chides in a deep voice, then continues to suck on his half of the candy, drawing my gaze to his lips.
My pussy clenches involuntarily, and I have to squeeze my thighs together. It takes every bit of me not to groan at the sight.
Fuck. This man is trying to kill me.
“I think this soft lilac would look nice with my skin tone. What do you think, Lina?” Sophia turns and asks me.
“It would,” I confirm, barely looking at her while trying to calm my racing heart.