Chapter Twenty-Two
Now
Avery
Lights and sounds from the event are now behind us. Although I’m barely tipsy, Jasper insists on driving me home. I might have had more than I thought because I agree. We are silent on the car ride back to my rented beach house.
“Did you have fun tonight?” he asks, opening the passenger door.
Sliding out, I smile at him. “I did.”
He gives me a quick, satisfied nod and then closes the door. The air is thick with uncomfortable tension as we ascend the steps to the back door. This goodbye feels an awful lot like a date. I have no idea how to act, and from his constant fidgeting, neither does he.
“I’m glad you came,” he says. “It was nice having you there.”
His words cause my chest to tighten. “I forgot how much I missed it here.”
“I bet. How long are you in town for?” he asks, clearly forgetting that I’m here to get a divorce from him.
But I have nothing left to fight with him about.
I’m trying to change my approach. The thing is, it’s been easier than I anticipated it would be.
I want to be kind to him. I want to talk to him—I want to touch him.
My eyes flutter at the thought. “As long as I need to be.”
“Work won’t miss you?” He plays, stepping closer.
“I took leave,” I whisper as my breathing picks up.
Jasper’s eyes blaze into mine. Every memory, every emotion comes flooding back with a force I can barely control. His comfort makes everything natural, as if no time had passed.
“I guess you’re in no rush to get your divorce then.
” His warm breath floats across my lips.
I am startled by a sharp buzz from my phone.
It breaks our moment. Jasper pulls back just as I dip my head to slide my phone from the pocket of my dress.
It’s Dave. I need to answer his call, but I want to be reminded of what Jasper’s lips feel like on mine. “I’ll let you get that.”
Turning back to Jasper, I shut my eyes and answer the phone.
“Hey.” Dave’s voice on the other end is cheery.
“Hi, I’m just getting home. Can I call you in a bit?”
“Sure, of course. I didn’t hear from you this morning. I wanted to check in.” There’s now a slight annoyance in his voice. We just talked about him giving me some space to handle this yesterday.
“I know, sorry. I’ve been trying to take things out here as quickly as possible like I told you I would,” I whisper, stepping off to the side. From the corner of my eye, I see Jasper rub the back of his neck and stare at the clear night sky. This entire interaction shouldn’t be awkward, but it is.
“I didn’t know that meant you couldn’t check in with your fiancé,” he snaps.
My eyes lock on Jasper’s back as he slowly walks away. Panicking, I rush Dave off the phone. “Yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Jasper!” I yell. He doesn’t turn around or respond to me even though he’s only a few yards away. Moving into a jog, I quickly catch up and place my hand on his shoulder. “Hey, sorry about that.”
He whips his body around to face me fully, with frustration growing by the second. “Sorry for what? That you had to answer a call from your fiancé?”
I run a hand through my hair, speechless. “I guess.”
His hands come out in front of us. “No need to be.”
“Thank you for driving me home.” I’m unsure of what to say. He’s unsettled, and so am I.
Jasper flashes me a weak smile, then places his hand on my lower back, ushering me toward the steps to the back door. Anxious, I take them two at a time with him close on my heels.
“Safely at your door,” he states, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on my forehead. On instinct, I lift my head, angling my lips toward his. My eyes fall closed, waiting for the kiss I desperately crave.
His jaw tenses. “Good night, Avery.”
I can’t let this go. My emotions are raging, and my thoughts are a mess. Heat builds in my core. Instinctively, I move my face toward his, letting my lips float past his.
Jasper pinches my cheeks. I watch his eyes darken. Then his mouth crashes into mine. My knees buckle, almost leveling me with the ground.
I black out. His lips move with mine. Losing my balance, I fall forward, only for my body to come into contact with his hard chest. My lips start to tingle, and my world spins, then abruptly, it stops.
Jasper pulls back. His features are firm and ice-cold. “Good night, Avery,” he says, giving me his back as he walks back to his car.
I feel it crawl up my throat—word vomit. I’m unsure if it’s the liquor fueling my bravery or just plain desperation, but the following words come out without hesitation.
“Why did you let me go?” I burst out louder than necessary.
Jasper squares his shoulders, pauses, and then slowly turns to face me. More than a few feet in front of me and underneath the dim porch light, I can still make out the sharpness of his features. “What?”
I swallow a cotton ball lodged in my throat while my hands shake, but I’m determined to find answers. I came all the way here for them and intend to do whatever I can to see closure. “Why did you let me go?”
He scoffs and starts walking back toward the front door. “Why did I let you go?” he repeats my words condescendingly.
I firmly place my hands on my hips, trying to show conviction in my question, but my insides are raw from the hurt I’ve endured. “Yes.”
“Why did you leave?” he counters.
“You know why I left.”
“Do I?”
Tears prick the back of my eyes—a sting of regret for opening this box. “Answer the question.”
“You answer it, Arizona,” he challenges, stepping onto the first stair. I haven’t been called that name in years. It rips through me like a knife.
“I couldn’t find you,” I shout, a tear rolling down my cheek. “I didn’t know what to do.”
“And you think I did?” He takes another step.
There are two more stairs until his body is flush with mine on the tiny square porch. “I don’t know.”
Jasper’s nostrils flare. “I didn’t either. I was just a kid.”
“So was I!” I yell, pointing at my chest. “Why did you let me go, Jasper? Answer the fucking question!”
His expression surprisingly softens. “I knew you wanted more.”
Gutted once again, I let the tears overflow and slide down my cheeks. “I wanted you.”
“I wanted you too,” he replies, climbing the remaining steps. “You were my everything.”
My stomach spasms as I try to catch my breath. His words unearth years of heartache and regret. “It ripped me apart,” I admit.
Jasper’s hand reaches the side of my face. “Do you think it was easy for me? It fucking killed me when you left.”
The warmth of his skin on mine makes my eyelids fall closed. “But you let me go.”
He lowers himself, and suddenly, I feel his nose nuzzling mine. My eyes remain shut.
“I’ve waited eight years for you to come back to me. No one has even come close to you. You know how hard that was?” His breath dances across my lips. I fight my urge not to dip my head and kiss him.
“How hard it was for you? I haven’t been able to love anyone else like I’ve loved you. You stole my fucking heart, stomped on it, and refused to give it back.”
Jasper’s lips gently caress mine. Without applying pressure for a kiss, he just lets them glide across the seam. “And I’m not going to.”
My fingers hook into the front pocket of his shorts. “You have to. I’m marrying someone else.”
“Not yet.” The ignition in his voice jerks me back to reality.
My eyes bounce between his briefly before Jasper’s mouth crashes into mine. His kiss is powerful. Years of pent-up frustration and hurt all manifested into the behavior we’re both experiencing now.
Pushed up against the side of the house, I submit to him like I’ve always done. Jasper’s hand feverishly slides along the outside of my leg and underneath my dress.
“Oh god,” I groan, savoring every second of his hands on me.
Desperately trying to get inside of me, Jasper’s tongue darts in and out of my mouth, going deeper each time. His palm cups my ass, gripping it tightly and urging me against him.
His hard length prods at my core, and another short groan escapes.
“You like that, don’t you, Arizona?” he growls. “You fucking missed me.”
I hook my arms around his neck to brace myself from weak knees. “Take me inside.”
“You got it,” he replies with a hurried response.
Suddenly, the hard surface behind me is gone, and I’m pushed through the door.
In one swift move, I’m hoisted up as Jasper grips my ass. My legs wrap around his waist.
“Where’s the bedroom?” he whispers into my lips without breaking contact.
My fingers comb through his longer on top, dark hair. It’s exactly how I remember it. “Down the hall. The first door on the left.”
When we get to my bedroom, he slows and lowers me onto the thick comforter. Crawling over me, he follows the movements of my body as I hurry to the top of the bed. My heart is racing. My mind is blank. I can’t think outside of this moment.
Jasper traces a line of wet kisses along my jaw. “You smell exactly how I remember.”
“You do too,” I purr, closing my eyes.
His lips continue down my neck before stopping at my collarbone, letting his tongue linger over the flicker of my pulse.
He uses a cooked finger to hook underneath the strap of my dress and gently inches it down my shoulder.
My insides vibrate, craving to have him again.
It’s been almost eight years since we’ve been together, but I still remember how he touched my body.
No one has ever been able to touch me like that since.
One of his legs slides under my knee, spreading my legs further. I repeat the motion with the opposite side. Jasper’s hand glides up the outside of my leg, causing my skin to break out in goose bumps. I reach down between us and pull up my dress. His eyes flash to mine while a subtle smirk forms.
With the slight quirk of his upper lip, my panties are soaked. My pussy is throbbing, and my eyes are starting to glaze over. He lifts off of me, but only for a second, to unzip his shorts. I catch sight of his red pulsating cock spring out of his pants, and now I’m fucking feral.
“I need you,” I beg and paw at his pants in a desperate attempt to move quicker than we already are.
“Always so needy,” he growls. With one fluid motion, he pushes my panties aside, then grips himself and thrusts inside.
“Oh god,” I grit out instantly, filled by him—my eyes leak.
Jasper tucks his head into the crook of my neck, burying his nose in my hair. I feel him suck in before slipping into a smooth rhythm with rolling his hips.
Heaving and immobile, my limbs are locked in place. The intensity rumbles through my body. Jasper links an arm under a knee, pushing my leg into my chest to get a deeper angle.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans into the sensitive skin on my shoulder.
Jasper continues to thrust a few more times before I feel his orgasm start to build. His body begins to stiffen while his movements become more erratic.
“I’m almost there,” I barely squeak out.
“Oh fuck,” he grunts.
More powerful than the thousands before it, I release.
My climax courses through my veins like a familiar drug.
That old comforting sting of when it hits you and your back to achieving the air you continue to crave—a full gulp of oxygen.
The shot of utter euphoria makes me black out, only to flutter my eyes to see black spots covering the room.
Panting, Jasper lifts off of me. He flips onto his back, then turns toward me with bloodshot eyes and a damp forehead. I’m jumpy and energized. Not knowing how to wrangle the different sensations, I burst into an uncontrollable giggle.
“Let’s do it again,” I say, meeting his flaring eyes.
“I need a little more time.” Jasper lets out a full belly laugh. “How about some food?”
“I’d love some food.” I beam with excitement.
“Wonderful.” Jasper pops up. Standing next to the bed, he tucks himself back inside his pants, and all I can think of is that I need it more. “Do you have food here?”
Shimmying my dress down, I shake my head.
“Of course you don’t,” he playfully quips.
I lower my eyes. “That’s not funny.”
Laughing, he leans over the bed, resting his palm on the mattress. “I’ll make you something.”
Since when does Jasper cook? This is nice. I bat my eyelashes at him. “Breakfast.”
He twirls a loose hair in his finger, then tucks it behind my ear. “Eleven at night, seems like a logical thing to eat.”
Grinning through a blush, I can’t hide, even in the dimly lit room. “And a fruit bowl with pineapple.”
“You go it.” His eyes fall to my lips.
I rise to kiss him with a soft, lingering kiss. I breathe him in before he pulls back. “I’ll be back in less than ten minutes.”
“Where are you going?”
He pauses at the door. “My house. I have a fully stocked kitchen.”
I would love to see Jasper’s house. To be in his space, smell, and be engulfed by him sounds like heaven. “Can I go with you?”