Chapter Twenty-Six
Now
Avery
The warm sunlight peeks through the translucent white curtains, pulling me out of a deep sleep. Peeling my eyelids open one at a time, I quickly note where I am— Jasper’s bedroom.
Smiling, I roll over, hoping to see him sleeping beside me. Instead of Jasper, I find space. This cannot be a dream. But then, I catch sight of a piece of paper with a handwritten note.
Went on a jog down the beach.
I’ll be back with coffee and food.
J
Of course, he’d leave a note instead of sending a simple text. Flipping onto my back, I stretch my arms out above my head. I suck in a deep breath through my nose, then exhale in relaxation. I need to check in with the girls.
I sift through the clothes piled on the wooden floor and under the bed until I find my phone.
Using the white sheet to cover my bare breasts, I adjust myself, looking as natural as I can.
I swipe up our group chat. When the camera flashes on the video, I notice the redness all over my chest and a few scattered bite marks.
Oh my god, Jasper! Flustered, my back falls against the headboard, partly covered by a shadow.
There’s no way they’re not going to notice. I prepare myself for interrogation.
Bailey answers first. “Hey!”
“Hello, my loves.” Piper’s glowing face shows up on my screen.
Lina quickly follows. “Why are you naked, Avery?”
“What, no formal greeting, Lina Bina?” I tease.
Bailey’s eyes grow wide. “You are naked.”
“This is going to be good. I need to step out,” Piper tells someone off-camera. Then I hear her husband Jack’s voice in the background, “Tell them I said hello.”
“Are the rest of you alone?” I ask cautiously.
Bailey’s standing in the kitchen cutting an apple. “I am. Mason and Luca are at soccer practice.”
“Carter is flying,” Lina chimes in, falling into an oversized white couch. “Spill it. Why are your boobs hanging out?”
Laughing, I blush. “I tried to cover them.”
Piper waves her hands in front of the camera. “You have this energy to you too.”
“I know that look! You got laid!” Lina shouts, proud of herself for figuring it out.
I rub my lips together bashfully. “Um, well. Jasper and I—”
Lina clicks her tongue. “Stop it.”
“You were supposed to divorce him, not fuck him,” Bailey affectionately quips.
Piper’s grin is the size of the entire state. “The body wants what it wants, doesn’t it?”
“I knew you two weren’t done,” Bailey comments, shaking her head.
“So, what happened?” Lina anxiously asks.
I sit straighter, pulling my knees into my chest. “I don’t know. It was all such a blur, to be honest.”
“A sex, lust-filled blur,” Piper jokes.
Bailey nervously picks up her hair, gathers it, and then drops it again. “What did he say about the divorce?”
Biting my lip, I attempt to formulate a response. The truth is, I don’t know why Jasper is refusing to divorce me. The only rational explanation I can come up with is that even though there is still flaming chemistry between us, he’s trying to get me back for leaving him all those years ago.
“I honestly don’t know,” I admit.
They’re silent for a beat before Lina speaks. “Maybe he’s not over you.”
Bailey and Piper both have the same expressions of agreement on their faces.
“Or maybe he’s still upset that I left him all those years ago, that he’s getting back at me,” I counter.
“But there’s enough between you two that you hooked up less than two days after seeing each other again,” Piper points out softly.
“That is fast, by my standards,” Lina jokes, holding up a finger. “Also, you don’t have to like someone to have sex with them.”
We all laugh.
“Okay, very funny,” Bailey dismisses. “Lina does make a point, though.”
With a prideful expression, Lina continues, “We all know you still have major feelings for him.”
“I know. They’re confusing. In so many ways, I’m still angry with him for leaving me alone. Something he said he’d never do.”
Bailey frowns. “We get it.”
“Look, people make mistakes. We were so young that I feel guilty for being upset after all these years, but I can’t help how it made me feel,” I explain.
Lina’s face twists with sorrow and empathy. “Now, what happens?”
I shrug. “I have no idea. There’s so much baggage between us. All the horrible memories I never worked through.”
Piper threads a hand through her tousled red hair. “I know. I’m sorry.”
I startle at the sound of the door opening downstairs.
“He’s back. I have to go,” I whisper.
“Okay, love you,” Bailey replies.
Lina and Piper blow me a kiss before I end the call and toss my phone on top of my pile of clothes.
I hear Jasper’s footfalls as he ascends the stairs to the second story.
My stomach flutters with anticipation of seeing him.
Maybe I should have used this time to freshen up instead of calling the girls.
Whatever. Jasper has seen me live without makeup and a bikini. I doubt he’ll care.
“Hey, you’re up.” He walks in shirtless, with only board shorts on, holding two cups of coffee. Fuck, he looks good—better than I remember.
I pick my jaw off the floor and take one of the cups from his hand. “I am.”
He sits on the side of the bed. “How did you sleep?”
Peace washes over me. “Amazing.”
“Good.” He smiles.
“Thanks for the coffee,” I say, taking a sip.
An awkward silence passes between us.
Jasper cocks his head to the side with his eyebrow furrowed like he wants to say something. “So …” He pauses. “Do you want to go surfing with me?”
My gut reaction is to jump with excitement like a lovestruck teenager, but my mind quickly kills it. “I don’t know.”
“Come on, Arizona,” he gently coerces me.
Picking at the cardboard sleeve, I avoid eye contact. “I should head back.”
Jasper raises a hand and pinches my chin between his thumb and index finger. “Just for a little while. For old times’ sake.”
My eyes can’t help but find his lips. Giving into my natural urge, I lean in and kiss him. A light kiss, but enough to savor him and this moment. “Alright.”
“I knew you couldn’t turn it down.” He runs his tongue along his bottom lip. “Can’t wait to see your skills after all these years.”
I lower my eyes, giving him a lopsided grin. “I’ve been in the desert this whole time. Do you think I was able to surf out there?”
“You’re saying you forgot everything I taught you?”
“I’m saying I might need a refresher.”
“Lucky for you, I have time this morning,” he states.
My cheeks burn. “Lucky for me.”
My legs and stomach muscles are sore as I follow Jasper to the shore. With the surfboard tucked under my arm, my body pulses with a different type of electricity. Jasper and I were out on the water for hours. We didn’t speak much, but we also didn’t need to. He was in his element, and so was I.
“I’m surprised by how it all came back to you,” he says, laying his board on the sand. His hair is wet and messy. He looks the same as he always has in so many ways, but with slight differences that have come with age. His shoulders are broader, and his chin is more chiseled than before.
“Me too,” I reply, pulling down the sleeves of my rash guard.
“I’m also surprised you brought your gear.”
I laugh. “Me too. I didn’t think I’d use it, but felt I should pack it, knowing I was traveling out here.”
Jasper sits in the warm sand, facing the water. I rest my board next to his and take the space next to him.
“Was Helen happy to see you?” He squints from the bright sun, then digs into his bag to grab a pair of sunglasses.
“She was.” I pull my legs up to my chest. “I didn’t realize how much I missed her until I saw her again.”
“I’m sure,” he replies, glancing at me and then turning away. “It’s been hard on her since my dad died.”
My head falls, and guilt bowls over me. I should have been there for her more.
Jasper senses my regret and hooks an arm around my shoulder, nudging me into him. “She has a large group of friends out here and a lot of support.”
A tear rolls down my cheek and onto his bare, tanned skin. “I know. But it doesn’t make the guilt any less.”
“But you’re here now,” he adds, insinuating I should make time for her while in town. He’s right.
“I know,” I admit, swiping a few more tears from my sticky cheek. “We chatted outside on her patio the other night. It was nice.”
“I’m sure it meant a lot to her.”
“I think it did,” I tell him. “She was sad when I left.” Jasper tightens his hold around me. “I should see what she’s doing this evening. Maybe we could have dinner together.”
Jasper tips his head toward my forehead and then whispers, “That’s a good idea, Avery. I’m sure she’d clear her schedule for you.”
“Helen is a social butterfly, though,” I play. I blow out a heavy breath. “You know I’m not good with this stuff.”
“At what?”
“Feelings.” I blink away. “Connection.”
“You mean human emotions?” he quips affectionately.
I lightly slap his chest. “That’s not funny. But yes.”
“We’re all products of our upbringing. It’s not your fault.” He lovingly reminds me with a cheeky grin. “My dad wasn’t either. If that makes you feel better.”
Jasper always makes the world seem sensible to me. Losing Duke was hard on Jasper too. He mentioned how he felt when we were at the old beach house, but I knew he was holding back.
“I meant it when I said I’m sorry for not being there for you either,” I tell him, resting my palm on his leg. He places his large hand on mine, wrapping his fingers around me. I flip over and intertwine my fingers with his.
“You don’t need to apologize. We’re only able to do what we’re capable of,” he insists.
And there it is—the first time I’ve heard him put into perspective what he could not do and what ultimately solidified my decision to leave that grim August night.
Jasper lacked the ability to support me.
It’s something he was incapable of doing.
Like any response to trauma, my brain automatically blocks it out, replacing the sad memories with positive ones.
“What are you doing later tonight?” I ask, attempting to change the subject.
He smiles with those straight, white teeth and the same dimple I’ve had my tongue all over. “Whatever you’re doing.”
I lightly kiss the corner of his mouth and continue with small kisses along the seam of his lips. His chest rumbles with laughter, and simultaneously, his opposite arm swings around me, pulling me on top of him. We both fall into the sand.
“You did really well today out on the water.” His hands run up and down both my legs while they straddle him. “What do you say I give you a little reward?”
I stare down into his eyes and watch them darken. I can tell what he has in mind. It isn’t just a prize for me. “Absolutely.”
Behind Jasper’s broad smile are all the dirty things he wants to do to me. And behind mine is that same euphoric lust that overcame me all those years ago.
I jump off him, sprinting through the sand and toward his house. He’s hot on my heels, trudging through the sand behind me.
The pure nostalgia of us together, combined with the sound of the waves in the background and the salty breeze whipping through my hair, is utterly dynamic. I am transported back to simpler times when the only things we worried about were ourselves.