Chapter 18 Parker
Parker
I remember a time when we were maybe around ten years old, and I wanted to get Lily flowers.
She’s always reminded me of the spring days when everything starts to bloom.
So colorful and bright. I wanted to get her something that reminded me of her.
My best friend that brings a smile to my face every day.
“Are Lilies your favorite flower?” I ask while we ride our bikes next to each other.
“No, why would they be?”
“Because it’s your name.”
“Yeah, but I like tewlips.”
“What?” I chuckle.
“Tewlips.”
“Why are you saying it like that?”
“Like what? Tewlips?”
“It’s tulip.”
“Well, I like saying it like tewlips.” She exaggerates the sound and I laugh along with her.
I will never forget that conversation and what her favorite flower is. That’s why I end up at the local flower shop. I’m greeted by an older man who looks way too gruff to be working here.
“How can I help you?” he asks.
“Can I get some tulips? Any color you have, or a mix of all of them.”
He nods, and grabs a collection of multicolor flowers, purple, yellow, pink, and red.
It’s perfect. I pay and then head over to Lily’s.
I wanted to give her space after yesterday, but I need to check on her.
I hope these will at least bring a smile to her face.
I don’t know if she’s going to be upset about breaking up with Aaron.
I hope not, but I’m prepared to meet her where she’s at and I’ll help her get through anything.
When I get to her house, she’s at her car. I start to panic that she’s going to leave, she’s going to follow that asshole back to California and leave me once again. This time I know if she leaves it would be for good.
Grabbing the flowers, I jump out of my truck. Her eyes shoot up to mine, then down to my hand.
“Where’d you get those?” She looks back up to me. Her eyes aren’t red and she doesn’t look upset at all. My shoulders drop in relief seeing her look just as happy as she always does.
“The flower shop?”
“The one with the daddy?”
I sputter. “The what?”
“The daddy flower shop owner. Flower daddy, if you will.”
“I don’t…I didn’t pay attention to if he was.”
“Was what?” She smirks.
“Was a flower…what you said.” I wave my hand around.
Lily smiles manically. The look brings me back to when we were younger. The troublemaker that she is. That we both were. The girl I’ve missed having in my life so badly. “What did I say?”
“Don’t do this.”
“Say it.”
“A flower…daddy,” I mumble reluctantly.
Lily throws her head back with her loud boisterous laughter, and I can’t help but join in. I want to grab her, yank her into me, and kiss the shit out of her while I feel her laughter against my mouth. I want to get totally lost in her again. I want to have her back for good.
“Are they for me?” she finally asks when her laughter dies down.
“No, actually they’re for your mom. I figured your dad should get some competition.”
She rolls her eyes, and scoffs. “You’re ridiculous.”
I step closer and hold them out toward her. “Of course they’re for you.”
Lily looks at the flowers, and I catch her breath hitch. “They’re tulips.”
“Your favorite.”
She swallows roughly. “How do you remember that?”
“I remember everything about you,” I tell her honestly.
Her jaw drops, but she doesn’t say anything. Her eyes search mine, and I let her see the truth in them. Then she drops her gaze away, and my shoulders slump.
“Yeah, well I’m sure you remember everything about lots of women.” She tries to sound like she’s joking, but I can feel the deflection that it is.
“Nope, just one.” I take a step back from her, even though it physically pains me to do when all I want is to pull her closer to me. I shove my hands in my pockets to stop myself from giving into the urge. “Where are you going?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Her teasing tone is back, and it seems real this time.
“Yeah, I would. You need some company?” I ask, hopefully.
She actually seems to think about it for a second but then shakes her head. “No, I’m going to get a new friend, can’t have you scaring them away.”
My mind immediately goes to thinking Lily is going on a date. I almost jump into her car with her, but she takes the flowers from me. “These are pretty though, so they can come with me.”
I chuckle. “Can I meet your new friend some other time?”
“Hm, maybe. Depends on if you piss me off. But they’ll be around quite a bit.”
“I never piss you off. Just admit you’ve missed me too, Lil.”
“See ya later.” She smirks.
I want to hug her goodbye. Or touch her in some way. My skin buzzes with the need, and I know it’s only a matter of time before I give in. I know she’ll give in with me. Especially when I see how carefully she puts the flowers in her passenger seat.
This time when I watch her drive away, I don’t feel a pit in my stomach. The feeling I have is something I’ve only been feeling recently with her. Hope.
Hope that she’s going to come back to me.
Hope that she’s here to stay.
As her car drives down the street and out of view, I whisper the three words I can’t say to her yet but would admit every day if she’d let me. “I love you.”
I’m lying on the couch at the station tossing a stress ball up in the air, then catching it again. All my thoughts are on the two girls in my life and what I can do to get them on my side.
I feel like they both need completely different approaches, but I’ll figure it out. With Franki, I just want to feel like she’s not about to murder me in my sleep every night. And that I can feed her in peace.
Lily…I also need to feel like she’s not going to murder me in my sleep. But I would also like her in my bed again. Not even for sex, I just want to lay with her. Just want to hold her. Just want to be around her.
“Parker!” My name is called, and I shoot up to a sitting position.
“What?”
“Told you he’s not deaf, just ignoring us.” Jo shrugs.
“I called your name like three times,” Jameson tells me.
“Did you call it or did you quietly say it?”
He gives me an unamused look. “You’re on for dinner tonight.”
“Guess you guys are getting spaghetti. Again.”
“No!” Dave yells from somewhere I can’t see.
I smile at my coworkers because either they get to endure another night of my mediocre spaghetti or someone else can volunteer to cook. However, my plan doesn’t seem to work, and I still end up on dinner duty.
Jameson does end up taking some pity on me, though. He claims it’s because he wants to make sure the meat is fully cooked and doesn’t trust me. As we both are working, I sigh and decide to ask him for some advice.
“How did you finally get Sutton to agree to go out with you?”
He huffs out a small laugh. “Patience.”
I drop my shoulders at his unhelpful non advice.
“You got Lily to love you once, right? You can do it again.”
“I guess, but I never stopped loving her. And she did.”
“How do you know for sure?”
I stir the pot of water with the quickly softening noodles.
“I guess I don’t, but she’s seemed to make it pretty clear she doesn’t like me very much.”
“Well, maybe if you weren’t Amity’s most emotionally unavailable bachelor she would.”
I turn to face him. “I know I’ve never corrected anyone about that, but you know it’s not true.”
“Does she know that?” He raises an eyebrow at me.
“I used to think she did, but now I’m not sure.”
“Maybe figure that part out, and instead of feeding your reputation, try and get a new one. An accurate one.”
I think about that, and I know he’s right. Even if the only opinion I care about is Lily’s, I’m going to have to set the record straight.
A call rings out in the station for an accident. We quickly turn off the stove and jump into action. We get to the scene, and it’s bad enough that one of the patients’ needs to go to the hospital. I go into autopilot with what I need to do to care for them as we load up into the ambulance.
Luckily, they’re stable and talking. The drive isn’t long, and when we arrive, I jump out, Jo and I open the back of the ambulance to get the patient out.
As we bring them inside, I see Lily and send a smile in her direction.
Jo gives the nurse bedside report, and I hardly even pay attention because I’m watching Lily.
She pulls her hair up into a messy ponytail that sways behind her, then she goes back to typing. She’s so focused, and it’s adorable to see. I step up to the nurse’s station, leaning against the counter and wait for her to notice me.
As soon as she does her eyes narrow. “Can I help you?”
“You can, actually.” I smile, and see the shocked look on her face at my response.
“Do you need another med restock?”
“Nope, just need to see something.”
“What do you need to see?” She leans back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest.
“Did you put the flowers I got you in a vase or the garbage?”
The side of her lip quirks up in a small smile that she tries to bite back, but I see it. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“I already know, but I saw what I needed to see.” I tap the counter, leaning back to walk away.
“And what was that, exactly?”
“Your smile. See you later, Lil.”
I go meet Jo at the ambulance before she yells at me that we have to go. She’s leaning against the door and shakes her head as soon as she sees me. “Oh, you’re so fucked.”
“Yeah, I know I am, but she’s worth it,” I tell her, climbing into the rig.
“Just don’t fuck it up this time.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t.”