Chapter Eighteen
Using all of her pent up frustration, Cassandra pushed Seth away from her with a glare.
How dare he?! Stepping back, he looked at her with wide eyes.
Hurt. As if he had the right! He was no better than Colonel Bishop!
Two men pushing themselves onto her because they didn’t want the other to have her.
She couldn’t meet his eyes. A knot formed in her throat. She wouldn’t have it, not from Seth.
He took a step back and waited for her to speak.
She crossed her arms over her chest and gazed down at her feet. “You’re only ever moved to act when you’re jealous.”
Seth sighed and came close to her again.
“Look at me, Cassandra.”
She didn’t.
“Please,” he whispered.
Scowling, she raised her eyes to his.
“That isn’t true,” he said.
“So you’re saying you weren’t jealous?”
“No, I was jealous!” He purposefully enunciated each word. “But I was worried about your safety more, and you sent me away!”
“What was I supposed to do? Let you brawl with him in the middle of the sitting room? Matthew was due back any minute, and I had the situation well in hand.”
“Yes, it looked like you were in control, with him all but on top of you. How could I not be jealous?” Seth scoffed.
“But the way you looked at him, your body language… you don’t want him.
He’s the top name on Lady Dorchester’s list. Everyone knows it.
If you’re looking for a wealthy gentleman to solve your problems, you needn’t look much further.
You had an interest once before, but you haven’t been going out of your way to spend time with him. Why?”
“I’ve been busy with you,” Cassandra said. “Far too busy to be hunting for husbands!”
“Precisely. You’ve been with me. You went on that hunt for me. Why?”
“Because I was worried!” She stomped forward.
“Because you aren’t sleeping, or riding, and you’re wasting away in your bedchamber.
I don’t know if you’re eating! You’re brawling with Matthew in the halls!
You’re skittish one moment, stoic the next, and disrespectful in most!
You aren’t you here and I don’t know how to help. ”
“Is that all?” Smiling, he placed his hands on her shoulders and rubbed the tension there. “I am eating. I slept last night, and I rode this morning. And I didn’t brawl with Cooper. That was… something else, and it’s been resolved.”
“That hardly makes me feel better,” she grumbled.
He released another sigh. Taking her hands in his, he eased them away from her body, and placed them above his heart, where he braided their fingers together.
“Do you care for me?”
“Of course I care!” She glared at him. “I’ve known you for most of my life, how could I not—”
“Not as a friend, Cassandra. As a man.”
Outside of the bedchamber, muffled music drifted down the halls from a concert in the ballroom, but she could scarcely hear it over the sound of the rain hitting the windows steadily, insulating them in the bedchamber. The only light came from two lamps on either side, reflecting in his blue eyes.
“Allow me to be clear, Cassandra. I want you. I want to be with you. And right now you need to tell me what you want.” His voice gentled, even as his eyes blazed.
“You’ve no idea the lengths that I would go to just to have you.
If I kiss you again, I won’t be able to stay away.
I won’t stop until you’re mine. Make no mistake, I will do whatever it takes.
If you don’t want that, if you don’t want me, then tell me to leave now. ”
A painful longing clenched in her chest. She knew Seth well enough by now to know that he did nothing by half-measures, and he didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep.
Could she ask that of him when she was so unsure about the future?
If she allowed him in, he would completely possess her.
The thought consumed her, along with Jasmine’s words.
Maybe it could be that simple.
“I want to be with you.” Her fingertips curled in his shirt, voice pained. “But how—”
“I’ll figure out the how,” he said in a rush, arms wrapping around her. “I’ll do anything—”
“Seth.” She used the grip on his shirt to tug him down to her. “Kiss me.”
With a groan, he slanted his mouth to hers in a hard, searching kiss. This was what she wanted. Seth. His mouth on hers, his body against hers, his hands on her. His tongue sliding over hers, his teeth nipping gently on her bottom lip and oh, yes, she liked that.
Her arms went around his neck, pressing up on her toes to bring her closer. His hand splayed open on her back as he pulled her flush against him.
“You cannot know how badly I want you.” Seth brought one of her hands to his lips.
“All day I’ve thought of you, of holding you…
” Her heart beat a steady rhythm as he kissed each of her fingertips, one by one, sending waves of heat through her.
“You’re all I think about…” His mouth trailed down to her wrist, where he placed another kiss.
Above her lips, he whispered, “There’s nothing I won’t do for you. ”
Seth pulled at the sash at her waist and helped her remove her dressing gown, allowing it to fall to the floor.
Taking in the sight of her in her white cotton nightgown, his eyes turned hazy, and he advanced.
Kissing her all the while, step by step, he guided her until the back of her legs hit the bed.
Eyes boring into hers, he lifted her onto it and crawled over her.
Straddling her hips, he unbuttoned her nightgown, his mouth followed his fingertips, raking over her skin.
Slowly, he pushed down the neckline, exposing her shoulders, revealing her until her breasts were bare before him.
“So beautiful,” he murmured.
Flushed, she moved to cover her chest, but he took her hands in his and slid them to his shoulders instead. “Please don’t hide from me.”
Gently, he cupped her breasts in his hands, shocking her by taking a hardened bud between his finger and thumb.
Her body tightened and her breath hitched.
The feel of it caused her toes to curl and a low moan formed in the back of her throat.
He surprised her further by taking the peak into his mouth, grazing her with the barest hint of teeth before circling his tongue.
The world could have stopped spinning, and she wouldn’t have noticed.
She buried her hands in his hair, selfishly craving more.
While his mouth moved over her, his hand traveled under her knee and hiked her leg.
Settling between her thighs, he rolled his hips forward, the rigid hardness of him grinding into her.
It must have felt as good to him as it did to her because he groaned and gave her another searing kiss, tongue rough and taking.
His fingers mapped her, a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses following his touch.
When he reached her ribcage, he gingerly bent to kiss her there.
The light touch made her squirm, and she squeaked.
He smiled against her skin. “Ticklish between seventh and eighth rib.”
Calloused fingers reached her thighs, lifting the bottom of her nightgown up with his thumbs until his hands settled on the curve of her hips.
Breathing hard, the hand on her hip trailed inward, asserting pressure with his thumb as he reached lower, lower, between their bodies, pressing against the inner skin of her thighs, and—oh!
Cassandra’s pulse quickened when his hand covered her sex.
Exploring her, he ran his finger past the curls there, gliding over her folds in slow strokes.
The tip of his finger grazed a spot that caused a sensation so powerful that she jerked away from his touch, closing her legs as tight as she could with him kneeling between them.
“I won’t hurt you. Trust me, love,” he soothed.
She squeezed her eyes closed. To have him touch her there, to be vulnerable with him…. She wanted to shrink away as much as she wanted to draw closer. Patiently, he waited for her to decide which she wanted more.
“It’s embarrassing,” she admitted.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Seth chuckled. “Cassandra, look at me.” She opened her eyes, calmed by the affection on his face. “I won’t take you. Not tonight. I only want to please you. I won’t do anything you don’t like. If you tell me to stop, I’ll stop.”
Conflict pulled at her heart, but he continued to wait.
Considerate, even now. Cassandra’s skin cooled against the bedsheets, but was still on fire everywhere he had touched.
His hand steadied, poised above her center, allowing her to become used to the feel of him.
She struggled with the urge to arch into him, and really, there wasn’t a decision to make at all.
“Keep going,” she whispered. “Please.”
When he kissed her, she felt his grin against her lips.
“I’ll take such good care of you,” he promised. He pressed his lips to her temple, and his hand started moving again.
Her nightgown bunched low around her midsection. Frustrated that he remained fully clothed while she was half-naked, Cassandra pulled at his shirt, but he stopped her.
“Seth, let me see you.”
“Not tonight,” he said, closing his eyes.
She understood. Seth had insecurities of his own.
Relaxing against the bed, she brought him down for another kiss.
Between their bodies, his fingers worked skillfully on her, and once more, he found the part of her that sent lightning spikes throughout her body.
“You’re perfect,” Seth whispered against her lips.
He circled the spot again, and Cassandra cried out. Each graze of his finger brought her to new heights of pleasure, and shame faded completely. Breathless sobs escaped her, the sounds swallowed by his mouth. Lifting his head, he watched her. Driven.
“I have so much to teach you.” He toyed with her, teasing with another slow circle.
His voice deepened. “One day—” Once more, and she gasped.
“I’ll spend an entire day making love to you, pleasuring you with my hands and mouth…
you’ll have every part of me.” He groaned and positioned his fingers at her entrance, rocking against her with the heel of his palm.
“I’ll learn everything about you, what makes you writhe, what makes you moan.
And I’ll do those things, over—” One finger pressed in, “and over again.”
Unable to meet his eyes with his sinful words, she buried her head in his shoulder, breathing in the scent of ink and gunpowder on his shirt.
His finger pressed deeper, stretching her, curling inside.
Control lost, she rose her hips to meet him.
Too much. Heat coiled within her as he asserted more pressure and increased his pace.
“And then, when you think you can’t take anymore, I’ll enter you, right here,” he breathed into her ear and two fingers pushed in. “And I’ll teach you what I like.”
The heel of his palm rubbed against that same sensitive spot, and she shattered. Exquisite pleasure racked through her, every nerve tingling with it, her fists curled in the bedclothes. He covered her mouth with his to stifle her cries, easing her through her climax.
He leaned away from her, and with a wide grin, he purred, “I could watch that all day. Another?”
“Another?” Cassandra asked, breasts heaving as she tried to catch her breath while short tremors coursed through her. She couldn’t help but laugh. “How?”
“There are so many ways.” He moved off of her. Supporting himself with his elbow, he ran a fingertip over a painfully sensitive nipple. “Would you like me to show you?”
She pushed his hands away. Another? Her face heated again. All Cassandra wanted to do was sleep.
“Not tonight,” she said pointedly, repeating his words. After a moment, she asked, “Could it really be done for an entire day?”
A wolfish grin crossed his face, and he lowered his mouth to hers. “Oh yes. We’ll work you up to it.” He grinned even wider. “But not tonight.”
She closed her eyes and nodded, but…
“What about you?” She looked down to see him straining against his trousers. “Would you like… I mean… is there something I could do…?”
“I’ll be fine. You’re exhausted sweetheart.
All I want is to hold you.” Moving to the head of the bed, Seth brought the covers up around them and laid down on his back, easing her into the cradle of his arms. Sated, beginning to feel cold, she wrapped one arm around him and rested her head on his chest. Burrowing into his shirt, she frowned.
It hardly seemed fair that he had seen her body, but she couldn’t see his.
She wanted to run her hands along his back, skin to skin, to have him bare before her and make him unravel, as she had done.
“Later?” she asked.
“Soon,” he promised.
For some time, they lay there, not saying a word.
After the concert concluded, all she heard was rain against the windows and the rustling of silk as Seth ran his fingers through her hair.
He kissed her temples, her cheekbones, flirting, she realized, when he kissed the tip of her nose.
As her eyelids became heavier, his touch became softer, and then stopped.
He gave her one more kiss before releasing her and turned to leave.
“Seth,” she whispered.
He paused.
“Can you stay?”
He kept his back to her as he considered the question.
“You know I can’t.”
“Please,” she breathed, longing to be held by him for a little while longer.
Seth yawned and repositioned himself. “Only until you fall asleep.” He wrapped his arms around her. Lulled by his heartbeat and the steady rise and fall of his chest, surrounded by his scent and warmth, sleep tugged at her once more.
When she woke, he was gone.