Chapter 7
Bonnie retreated to the living room and pulled all the curtains closed, but even with the barrier between her and the neighbors, she still felt completely exposed.
Her whole life was fraying at the seams, and having a captive audience was brutal. Not one of them had offered to help or give her a shred of sympathy. The whole ordeal was a spectacle for them to enjoy, and that cut deep.
Losing the car made Bonnie’s money problems seem more urgent. All of her cool-headed determination burned out the second the tow truck pulled out of her driveway. Now, all that was left was fear. So many problems were cascading around her, and she was terrified to find out what might come next. Peter obviously kept secrets from her. She just couldn’t figure out why.
The man had his pride. It was possible he’d figured he could work his way out of whatever hole he’d dug them into before Bonnie had to know. But that assumption was costing her dearly now. It wasn’t just the financial security she was missing—she’d lost her emotional security, too.
Peter wasn’t here to give her answers. He wasn’t here for her to shout at and demand to know why he’d let all this happen. There wasn’t a way for them to resolve this together, or hash it out. In the first few days after he’d passed, all Bonnie wanted was the chance to see him one more time, to tell him she loved him and how important he was to her. She assumed that would be what she missed—their companionship, their partnership, and their love.
Right now, though, she missed the ability to fight with him. She wanted nothing more than to call him back down from heaven to give him a piece of her mind. He’d disappointed her and didn’t have the opportunity to fix it. This was a mistake he could never take back…or undo. It was the most helpless and distraught she’d felt since he died. More than anything, the unresolved fight made the loss feel huge and impossible.
Bonnie wasn’t sure how much time had passed with her sitting in the living room, staring blankly at the wall. She couldn’t bring herself to do so much as look at the clock. Nothing pulled her out of her stupor until the phone rang. The house was so quiet that the ringing made her yelp, startled by the sudden burst of noise. She scrambled to pull her cell phone out of her pocket and, finally, a dose of relief trickled into her bloodstream: it was Charles McCleod, their family attorney.
“Charles, I’m beside myself.” She tried to cover the panic in her voice but failed miserably. Her unsteady tone was obvious to anyone with ears. “Everything is going so wrong.”
“Oh, Bonnie, I know. It’s a very difficult time, I’m sure.” His sympathetic words were kind, but they didn’t do anything to quelch the anxiety threatening to take her under. “Are you okay? I saw a lot of missed calls from you, but you didn’t say what you needed. Are you alone at the house? I can have the wife whip up something nice for dinner; we’d love to have you over if you need some company.”
“What I need is information. I’ve had an unusually stressful day, and that’s saying something, considering everything that’s happened to me lately.”
“What else has happened?”
She sighed and dropped her head into her open hand, feeling as though she were in a never-ending cyclone. “I went to Peter’s office to see how the business was getting along without him, and boy was I in for a shock.”
“Ah, I see. How much do you know?”
He didn’t sound surprised, which only made Bonnie’s mood worse. While he might be able to help her now, she didn’t relish knowing he’d been aware of the trouble brewing behind her back. His question stung even more. Instead of explaining all of her finances, he was hedging against what she already knew.
There was no reason to keep Peter’s secrets anymore.
This was her life they were talking about now.
“I need to know everything, Charles.” She clenched her teeth in a vain effort to remain stern without losing control. As of right now, this was her only chance to get information, and she didn’t want to risk pushing it too far. “I found out about the unpaid rent he owes the landlord and how much debt he’s in at the bank. A man just repossessed his car, for crying out loud. There’s hardly any money in our personal account, and the business accounts are all closed. What on Earth happened?”
“You sound upset. I don’t blame you for that, as it’s a lot to take in. Peter ran into a bit of a speed bump, is all. If he hadn’t been taken from us so soon, he would have turned it all around in no time. He never meant for you to hear about all this, let alone be the one dealing with it.”
“Of course I’m upset! I’ve lost my husband, and our whole life is in shambles!” Tears prickled the backs of her eyes, but she fought to keep them at bay. “I don’t mean to be impatient, but what I really need from you are answers, starting with where I can find information about Peter’s life insurance policy. Hopefully, there’s enough there for me to put a dent in these debts, if not cover them completely.”
Charles didn’t respond right away. She could hear him breathing on the other end of the line, but he didn’t speak. Her stomach twisted. There was no way he’d give her good news after a pause like this. She was certain he was preparing himself to drop another terrible bombshell on her.
“Just tell me,” she said wearily.
“I’m afraid there isn’t a life insurance policy anymore.” He paused to let that sink in. “Peter had to cash it in to cover some business expenses recently and hadn’t been able to obtain a new policy yet.”
Bonnie’s stomach lurched, and for a few seconds, she thought she might vomit. She managed to keep down the wine she’d had for lunch by taking a handful of deep breaths through her nose. Once she had herself under control, she snapped into focus.
She’d had her freakout. Now it was time to pull herself together. The only choice she had was to keep moving forward, and to do that, she needed to stay focused and calm. No one was there to catch her. Peter hadn’t left her any kind of safety net, so she had to rely on herself. As daunting as that was, she couldn’t dwell on it, or it would paralyze her.
“All right, answer me this.” Her tone was back to being strong and steady, determined. “What’s the risk of my car being repossessed? I’d like to know now if another tow truck will be showing up in my driveway.”
“Well, they can’t take what they can’t find.”
His tone was joking, but Bonnie didn’t trust it. There would be nothing funny about being stuck in the house with no car, no sense of safety, and no idea where to turn next.
“This has been enlightening.” She didn’t even bother trying to hide her displeasure. With everything she’d been through over the last week—and especially today—her indignation was warranted.
“Again, Bonnie, I’m sorry you had to find out this way. Or at all.”
“It’s not your fault, I suppose. I’ll let you go. Say hi to Rhonda for me.”
“You aren’t coming for dinner?”
“No…” She sighed with her head against the back of the chair. “I think I’d better get away for a while. Clear my head.”
“Sounds like a great idea. Good luck, and call if you need anything.”
Bonnie hung up and exhaled slowly, steeling herself for a long night ahead. When Charles mentioned that Peter did everything in his power to make sure they didn’t lose the house, it sparked an idea. There was another place she could go, somewhere else to look for answers—or, if not answers, at least a little solace.
Lake Placid.
She and Peter had bought a house up there early in their marriage. It was their perfect retreat from the rest of the world. Once they’d had the kids, it became a beloved summer escape for the whole family. The hours they’d spent chasing the kids with sunscreen and warnings about ticks were fond memories.
Maybe all of these problems would follow her to the lake. Perhaps Bonnie would find a whole new crop of problems when she got there. She couldn’t say. But as she packed her suitcase and loaded it into her car, she didn’t care. She needed a change of scenery desperately, and the lake house would give her exactly that.