Epilogue #2
I close my eyes, thinking I can get a few hours.
But I should’ve known better. Hospitals are not the place for any type of relaxation.
People are constantly in and out of the room, staring up my birth canal like it holds some magical answers to the universe.
There’s a flurry of people, studying my vital signs and the baby’s heartbeat.
There’s no rest. There will never be a moment’s peace for the rest of my entire life because I’m about to be a mother.
“Push,” the doctor says as I hold my knees, feeling more exhausted than I have ever felt in my entire life.
“You can do this,” Leo cheers me on, and I’m back to wanting to end his life.
I feel like I’m attempting to take the biggest shit of my life, and no matter how hard I try to bear down and push it out, there’s nothing moving.
“I can see the head,” the doctor says, looking up from between my legs.
“Get the baby out of me,” I plead as tears stream down my face, pushing with everything I have in me.
“Just a few more pushes,” the doctor says, like that’s going to make me feel any better.
I don’t want to do a few more pushes. Hell, I don’t even want to do one more. I want this all to be over, holding the baby in my arms, forgetting all about the last twelve hours of my life.
“You’re doing so well.” Leo smiles as he wipes down my face with a cool, damp cloth.
“How about you two grab her legs and help her through the last few?” the doctor tells Leo and my mother, and I know we’re about to get to the grand finale.
Each one of them holds a knee, staring between my legs as I pull myself forward and push with everything I’ve got.
The doctor urges, “Harder, harder, more, keep going.”
The hate I felt for Leo transfers to the man huddled between my legs, telling me to do something I’m doing my best at already to push the baby out.
The pain’s gone, replaced by the most intense pressure of my life. I would’ve straight up died without the epidural. I know that now.
Three pushes later, I gasp for air as the baby’s shoulders break free.
“Oh my God,” my mother says as tears form in her eyes, and she covers her mouth.
“Bella,” Leo says, staring between my legs like he’s seen the most beautiful sight.
I press my head into the pillow, feeling relieved to have survived the delivery and happy as hell to have it over.
“Congratulations,” the doctor says, holding the baby in his arms before placing it on my chest. “You have a son.”
Leo wipes his face, hiding the tears I have no doubt are falling fast. “A son,” he whispers.
“Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?” the doctor asks Leo.
“Yes.” Leo nods.
Tears stream down my face, matching my mother and Leo, but for entirely different reasons. I’m happy, for sure, but my tears of joy are that the birth is over. The baby howls as the harsh realities of life slam down on both of us.
I’m a mother.
There’s no going back, only forward.
The entire family, including Leo’s father, squeezed into my hospital room as soon as the nurse said it was okay to have visitors.
They jockeyed for position like it was a contest, leaving Mr. Conti and Leo on one side and my mother and father on the other.
Delilah, Lucio, Vinnie, Angelo, and Michelle filled in the gap, closing off a circle of people I never thought I’d see crammed into such a tiny space…
well, at least not without some sort of bloodshed.
The way they’re gawking at the little guy in my arms, it’s like they’ve never seen a baby before.
“He’s so beautiful,” my mother says as she rests her head against my father’s shoulder.
“Look at all that hair. Just like you, Leo,” Mario tells Leo. He’s even a little choked up but hides it well. Lord forbid he show the heart underneath his steely mob boss exterior.
“You two have been keeping his name a secret for months. What is it?” my father asks.
I smile at Leo, knowing this has bothered our families, but we still didn’t give in. To be honest, we had a few names picked out and couldn’t decide, leaving the decision until we actually laid eyes on our little boy.
“We’re paying respect to our grandfathers,” Leo announces as he squeezes my hand and looks around the room. “His name is Nino Raffaele Conti.”
“It’s perfect.” My mother wipes the tears which have started to fall a little harder and easier than before.
“It’s a fine name,” Mario says. “Strong.”
My mother takes Nino from my arms, and the attention goes with him.
“How are you feeling?” Delilah asks.
“Like roadkill.” I laugh.
“Yeah. That feeling doesn’t go away for a while. First, it’s physical and then it’s mental, but,” Delilah says and looks up at Leo, “at least you have someone to help you with the newborn.”
I can’t imagine going through any of this alone. Delilah’s obviously a much stronger person than I am because I would’ve been a total hot mess without the support of my family and my husband.
“You’re a rock star, Delilah.”
“Oh, stop,” she says and blushes. “I can’t imagine doing it alone again.”
“Again?” I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow.
She places one hand over her stomach and winks. “Don’t tell,” she mouths.
I had wondered why Lucio seemed happier than usual, and now it makes total sense. With the way he loves Lulu, I know he’s going to be over the moon experiencing all the joys and horrors from the beginning.
“Since we’re all here,” my father says and clears his throat. “Your mother and I have an announcement.”
The room goes silent.
“We set a date,” my mother explains.
I roll my eyes. It’s been almost a year since my father announced they were getting married, and in typical Santino fashion…there was absolutely no hurry.
My father pulls my mother close. “We’re getting married on December 23rd.”
“Way to go, Pop,” Vinnie says as he punches my father in the shoulder, almost knocking him over.
“It’s about fucking time,” Angelo adds.
“Are you sure about this?” Lucio asks my mother and somehow keeps a straight face.
“He’s finally going to make an honest woman out of me.” My mother laughs. “It only took four kids and four grandkids, but it’s finally happening.”
The normal life I craved not too long ago has finally become my new reality. Happy family, sexy husband, beautiful baby, and for once, everyone is getting along…even with Mario, which is a miracle in itself.
I shift in my bed, finding it damn near impossible to get comfortable because my poor body has just been through battle. Anyone who says otherwise is being a goddamn martyr.
“Maybe we should go,” Angelo tells my family when he glances down at the bed, and we lock eyes as I grimace.
“No, no. I’m fine,” I say, trying to play it off because I never like to look weak.
“You’re right, Ang. I’m sure Leo and Daphne would like some time alone,” Lucio says.
Vinnie walks up to the side of the bed and kisses my cheek. “I love you, sis. You should’ve named him Vinnie, but I totally understand. He would’ve had some big shoes to fill.”
“Shut up,” I say, trying not to laugh because everything in my body hurts. “Get out of here.”
My father’s phone rings, and he turns his back to us as he answers. “Yeah?” There’s a short pause before my father’s shoulders slump forward. “When? Where?” All eyes are on my dad as he turns around. “I have to go,” he says and walks toward me. “I’m sorry.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask because he’s tense and all traces of happiness he had moments ago are gone.
“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.” My father kisses my cheek and brushes my hair away from the side of my face. “Enjoy my new grandson. I’ll be back to check on you later.”
“Pop.” Angelo takes a step toward our father before he has a chance to leave. “What happened?”
My father’s pale. The only other time I saw him like this was when he was about to be arrested. “Are you being arrested?” I ask, jumping to the only conclusion that makes sense.
Vinnie places his hand on my father’s shoulder and squeezes. “Just tell us, Pop.”
My father faces Mario, staring him straight in the eyes. “Johnny’s been shot.”
And the serenity and normalcy I thought I finally had disappears.