Chapter 11 Tilly #2
My laughter dies because no one ever likes to talk bad about Betty’s cooking. At least, not to her face. And if I’m being totally honest, it’s awful. There are some things she’s okay at making, but ninety percent of her meals are almost inedible, though whiskey helps it slide down easier.
Betty crosses her arms as she stares at her sister-in-law. “You’re saying I’m a horrible cook?”
I’m not sure if I should start backing up because Betty has been known to have a temper. She’s like the little firecracker that packs the most powerful punch. She’s had to be strong. Raising three rowdy boys isn’t for the faint of heart.
“You’re a shit cook,” Maria says and shakes her head. “We both know Tino isn’t with you because you could make a mean sauce.”
Betty smirks. “They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but with Tino, it’s really his dick. The man’s obsessed with it.”
I’m still holding the spatula, bowl near my feet, and spinach dip everywhere, and I’m feeling kind of awkward listening to my mother-in-law and her sister-in-law talking about cock and sauce.
“Lucky for you,” Maria says as she grabs a wad of paper towels off the counter and hands them to Betty. “Clean this up, and I’ll get busy making new dip.”
They’re talking like I’m not even here, which is odd and something I’m not used to.
I’m always the cook, except on Sunday. That’s Betty’s day to make us all a “home-cooked” meal because she feels that’s her job as a mother.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s payback for her kids’ years of bullshit behavior as teenagers.
“I can do it.” I have my leg in the air, about to head toward the fridge, when Maria grabs my shoulder.
“You relax. Sit down and talk a bit.” Maria ticks her chin toward the stool on the other side of the island. “Let me do this, please.”
Normally, I’d argue, but the one thing I’ve learned is that you’ll almost never win an argument with a Gallo. I’m pretty sure Maria is no different, so I do what any reasonable woman would; I sit and listen.
Moments later, the other women in the family join us. The kitchen suddenly becomes crowded, and I’m no longer sitting alone watching Maria, I am surrounded by cousins.
Suzy, Joe’s wife, with her effortless beauty, striking blond hair, and happy demeanor, sits on my left side, chin in her palm, watching her children through the window.
Izzy is the only Gallo sister on that side, and from the way she carries herself, I’m guessing she’s the boss. She sips her whiskey and swishes the ice cubes around the glass as she watches her ma and chitchats with Mia and Max.
Gigi walked in with them but collapsed on the couch just a few feet away with headphones in her ears, so the interaction was nonexistent.
“It’s nice to have everyone back together,” Izzy says between sips. “I wish you’d all move to Florida, Aunt Betty.”
Betty leans on the counter next to Maria and stares across at us. “Sweetheart, look at my skin. I’m almost translucent. I could never tolerate the Florida sun. I was born to be in darkness.”
“Kind of like your soul,” Fran says as she walks into the kitchen.
Fran is Santino and Sal’s sister. She’s just as mouthy as Betty and Maria. There’s no doubting that, for as strong as the men are in this family, they like their women even stronger.
Betty gives Fran the middle finger. “I’ve missed your sarcasm and wit. That badass biker of yours hasn’t tamed that mouth.”
“He loves my mouth.” Fran smirks.
Not only do I feel ill, I can tell the ladies around me do too. They’re squirming in their seats just as much as I am.
Izzy gags and holds up a hand because her other one is busy holding the glass of whiskey she’s nursing. “Stop. It’s too much. There are young ears and impressionable minds around.”
I look around the room, but I see no one I’d consider impressionable besides maybe Gigi.
Izzy motions toward her sister-in-law. “Suzy can’t handle this type of talk. You know how innocent she is.”
“That’s so laughable,” Gigi says out of the clear blue.
Izzy spins around on her stool to face her niece. “You didn’t know your mother back in the day, kid. She was as innocent as they come.”
“Not anymore. She’s awfully bad sometimes because Dad spanks her a lot. Like a lot, a lot.”
Everyone in the room turns to look at the beautiful girl stretched out on the couch like she didn’t say anything. Everyone except Suzy. She’s beet red with her mouth hanging open and hasn’t moved an inch.
“Giovanna,” Maria warns, and the look she gives her granddaughter is scary as hell.
“What?” Gigi shrugs and continues to type on her phone without making eye contact. “I’m the one who has to listen to them. It’s gross. They’re too old for all that nonsense.”
“Too old?” Fran asks as she heads toward Gigi. “Baby girl, you have a lot to learn about life. When you love someone, it doesn’t matter how old you are.”
“Uh, yeah, Aunt Fran. At some point, you have to be too old for sex.”
Fran touches Gigi’s head, running her fingers through her long brown hair as she stands on the backside of the couch. “Oh, sweetie, I know you think you know everything, but you’re so wrong, it’s not even funny.”
“Can we not talk about sex? It’s bad enough I have to hear it at home, I don’t want to listen to my aunts and grandma discuss it too.”
Fran plucks Gigi’s phone from her hands. “Who’s Keith?”
Gigi climbs over the back and snatches the phone away from Fran. “That’s private.”
Fran laughs. “Until you no longer live under your parents’ roof, you have no privacy.”
Gigi collapses back into the couch, clutching her phone in one hand like it’s her lifeline. She’s a typical bratty teenager. I swear they’re God’s revenge on parents for all the awful things they’ve done in their lives.
“You’re going away to college next fall, aren’t you?” Fran asks.
“Yep. I can’t wait to get to FSU.”
Maria goes back to tossing ingredients into a bowl, Fran leans against the couch, looking like she’s about to give Gigi the business, and I turn my attention back to the women at my side.
Izzy’s holding Suzy’s hand. “She’s just a teenager. They’re all assholes, babe. Don’t let her shitty attitude get you down.”
“She was always such a sweet thing.”
“Then hormones got involved,” Izzy reminds Suzy with a pat to her hand. “And boys. Lord, the boys. How’s Joe handling it?”
“Well.” Suzy gives Izzy a tight smile. “He’s not in jail yet.”
“The real shit hasn’t started to hit the fan, then,” Izzy says.
Suzy looks horrified. “What’s that mean?”
“Cock, babe. Every boy has one, and they’re looking for a place to put it.”
Suzy’s smile vanishes as she clutches her chest. “I can’t think about that. Keith is her first real boyfriend, and I don’t think they’re anywhere near having sex.”
Max turns to Suzy, leaning backward like she’s just heard the craziest thing ever. “Boys are always ready for sex. If you don’t think that’s his goal, you’re wrong. Get your head out of your ass and get that little girl on birth control.”
“She’s not even eighteen.”
“And?” Max asks.
“She’s just so young,” Suzy says, glancing over at her daughter.
Fran’s still talking Gigi’s ear off, and neither one of them is paying any attention to what’s being discussed.
“As a doctor, your friend, and her aunt,” Mia says, rubbing her hands together and staring down the island at Suzy.
“You need to talk to her about sex, make sure she understands the importance of condoms and to always use them, and get her on the pill. It’s better she’s protected and safe when the time comes. ”
“And it will come,” Izzy adds.
“I guess I should have bail money ready too. Because Joe will…” Suzy clutches her face in her hands and groans. “Oh, sweet baby Jesus.”
“Lord help any boy who wants to date one of our daughters. He’ll have a daddy and four very angry uncles after him.” Max laughs. “I know Anthony won’t put up with any bullshit.”
In my head, I try to think of Tate as a teenager, all raging hormones and sass. Angelo would lose his ever-loving mind. She’s his little girl, and she has him wrapped around her little finger. I can’t imagine what he will do the first time a boy shows up at our doorstep to take Tate out on a date.
I’m thankful we’re at least a decade away from that happening. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to be the one tasked with having the birds and the bees talk with her because no girl wants to discuss sex with her father… ever.