32. Connor
32
CONNOR
M y phone’s been blowing up for days, but I’ve been too busy torturing my future wife to care.
While pumping gas, I finally check it.
The team group chat is pure carnage.
JAKE
Did Connor die?
COLE
My money was on Allie snapping first.
DALTYN
No way. He’s got the patience of a psycho.
FORD
That’s because he IS a psycho.
JAKE
He’s been silent for too long.
COLE
Should we send a search party?
FORD
I volunteer.
JAKE
Of course you do.
COLE
What if Allie buried him in the desert?
FORD
She’s not that lucky.
DALTYN
How would she even bury him? That’s a lot of dead weight.
COLE
Facts. Now that I think about it, I can’t picture Allie dragging his giant ass across sand.
JAKE
Maybe he kidnapped her like Ford did Harper?
FORD
I warned him about that.
DALTYN
You had kidnapping conversations?
FORD
It was a joke!
JAKE
You sure about that? Connor’s a bit unhinged.
COLE
A bit? Try full-blown!
FORD
Where are you, Connor?
I finally reply, thoroughly enjoying the conversation. My teammates are the fucking best! Entertainment at its finest.
I’m alive, dumbasses.
JAKE
OH SHIT! HE LIVES!
COLE
Where the hell are you?
On my way to Vegas
FORD
By plane?
Nope. Driving.
FORD
What did you do!?!?
What do you mean?
FORD
What. Did. You. Do?
I smirk as I respond, knowing what Ford is alluding to.
Let’s just say… it’s been an interesting journey.
Allie is going to be Mrs. Byrns in Vegas.
And I didn’t even have to kidnap her!!
Ford instantly texts me privately.
ARE YOU INSANE?
Define insane.
There’s only ONE definition, dumbass.
Did she agree to this?
You can’t just MARRY her.
Why not?
Jesus Christ! What are you gonna do? Put a gun to her head and force her down the aisle?
I hadn’t considered that. Good idea!
Don’t you fucking dare!
I swear on my nuts, Allie’s going to MURDER you if you try this shit!
She already tried and failed.
Now she’s MINE!
JESUS CHRIST.
TELL ME YOU DIDN’T KNOCK HER UP!?!?
We’ll be in Vegas in two days.
I’m laughing so hard people at the gas pumps look over at me. Probably thinking I’m insane like Ford said.
I know that jackass is losing his damn mind. And it’s funnier than hell!
He thinks I knocked Allie up.
I frown.
We haven’t talked about it, but I saw her birth control in her bag when I was snooping. So unless she’s been skipping pills....
If she has, there might be a little Connor—or Allie—running around in nine months.
I don’t hate the idea.
At all.
My phone beeps again.
CONNOR! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD!!!
With a sigh, I decide to put him out of his misery.
Better hope Gram doesn’t hear you swearing to God. You know that’s her line.
I don’t fucking care right now!!
DID YOU KNOCK HER UP?!?!
Not yet. Unless she’s not taking her pills. Then maybe.
I HATE YOU!!
No, you don’t.
Also, why would you?!
I’M GOING TO KILL YOU MYSELF!
I’d like to see you try!
Why’s this got your balls in a knot?
Did you hit your fucking head?
STOP FUCKING JOKING!
HARPER’S GONNA MURDER ME IF YOU FORCE ALLIE TO MARRY YOU!
I grin down at my phone.
And there it is! The sole reason Ford’s pissed! If his wife wouldn’t castrate him because I was forcing Allie to marry me, he’d be on board with the plan.
I shake my head. Ford’s threats don’t scare me.
Allie is the best decision I’ve ever made.
When we get to Vegas, I’m marrying her.
Even if I have to get her drunk first.