Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
CHASE
“I will be here every day,” I mumbled against the soft skin of Elena’s inner thigh, “for the rest of my life, as long as you’ll have me.”
Her giggle quickly turned to a low moan as I slipped my tongue inside her perfect pussy. My hands pressed against her thighs, stretching her wider, giving me better access to devour her dripping wet cunt. God, she tasted good.
The cool cotton of the expensive sheets she’d bought for her new bed in the cottage was soft against my dick as I subconsciously ground my hips against the mattress while I devoured her.
Not a day had gone by in the last two months that I hadn’t tasted at least one set of her lips. But more often than not, I found my face buried between her thighs. It was the fastest way to get her off, and I loved to make my girl come.
“Oh, god, Chase.”
She panted.
“Yes!”
She moaned.
“Right there.”
She screamed.
“Don’t stop.”
She begged.
“I’m gonna come.”
She shattered.
Nothing was more satisfying than bringing Elena pleasure. She’d been deprived of it for too damn long, so no way in hell was I letting a day pass without getting her off.
Bonus? She always returned the favor.
“I think I should start timing you,” she said as her chest rose and fell rapidly.
I laughed as I trailed kisses up her stomach, between her breasts. “Why’s that?”
“You’re getting too good at this.”
I reached her neck, pressing a kiss to her fluttering pulse point. The sweet scent of her perfume mixed with the salty taste of her sweat. Mine. All mine.
“That’s because I’m addicted to making you come,” I murmured against her throat. “Love watching you fall apart.”
Her fingers tangled in my hair, nails scraping my scalp in that way that drove me wild. “I’m getting spoiled.”
“Good.” I nipped at her collarbone. “That’s exactly what I want.”
Elena tugged my hair, pulling me up to look at her. Those dark eyes of hers sparkled with lust. “My turn.”
Before I could protest, she flipped us over with surprising strength. Damn, my girl’s got moves.
Her lips traced down my chest as her hand wrapped around my cock. All coherent thought fled my brain.
Elena’s talented fingers stroked my length as her hot mouth descended. The moment her lips wrapped around my cock, my eyes rolled back in my head
“Fuck, Elena,” I groaned, fisting the sheets. “You’re too good at that, too.”
She hummed in response, sending vibrations through my entire body. Her tongue swirled around the head before she took me deeper. Christ, I’m the luckiest bastard alive.
The wet heat of her mouth combined with the firm pressure of her hand had me fighting to keep still. My hips wanted to thrust up, to chase more of that incredible sensation. But I forced myself to stay in control.
Her free hand traced patterns on my thigh as she worked me over with lips and tongue. Each touch sent sparks of electricity racing through my veins. The combination of gentle caresses and intense suction was driving me wild.
“Baby, if you keep that up...” I panted, trying to warn her.
She pulled off with a pop, dark eyes meeting mine. “That’s the idea.” Her voice was husky with desire.
Then she dove back down, taking me even deeper than before. The sight of her lips stretched around my cock and the obscene sounds she was making had me rapidly approaching the edge.
Mine. All mine. Forever.
My hands tangled in her silky hair as pleasure built low in my spine. “Elena... Sweetness... I’m gonna...”
She doubled her efforts, and stars exploded behind my eyes.
“Oh fuck!”
This beautiful, perfect woman swallowed every last drop that I poured down her throat before flopping on her back beside me, breathless.
“Well, fuck me. That’s one way to wake up.”
Elena’s wide smile and laughter lit up my whole goddamn world.
Things were still complicated; she was still married, divorce proceedings moving at a snail’s pace. No one knew were together, though many had their suspicions.
I tipped my head to the side to look at her, long dark hair splayed across the stark white sheets. She mirrored the gesture meeting my eyes. The raw emotion I saw there had the words spilling from my lips before I could think them through.
“I love you.”
I didn’t mean to say it. Not yet. Not like this. But the second it was out, I knew it was true. Elena’s eyes went wide, her mouth dropped open, and I’m pretty sure she stopped breathing.
Then something fucking magical happened.
She smiled and gave me the words right back.
“I love you, too.”
Walking into the grand opening of EdenTree Cidery, I was on cloud fucking nine. Things were finally looking up for ol’ Chasey boy.
Had a good job.
Woke up every day with my dream girl.
Life was good.
“Where the hell have you been?” Jasper shouted as I strolled up to the table he, Nat, and Charlie were sitting at.
“You know me,” I said. “Spent the night with a lady friend. And the morning. And the afternoon.”
I flopped into a chair at one of the long communal tables stretched across the room. The bright red of the seat made me happy. But everything seemed to make me happy today.
“And that, dear brothers, is my cue to leave,” Charlie said, standing from her seat.
I chuckled as my baby sister made her way over to the bar to order a drink.
“What lady friend?” Jasper asked, glaring at me.
“None of your damn business,” I said with another laugh.
A server saved me from any additional interrogation, dropping off a cider flight at our table.
“Oooh, yummy.” One won’t kill me. Just a taste. I’ve earned this day.
I picked up a glass and read the label written in chalk on the board the flight had been delivered on. “Triple Berry.”
I took a sip and hummed my appreciation. “Damn, that’s good. Here,” I said, handing the glass to Nat. Her reaction was much the same as mine, and she passed the glass to Jasper.
“Fuck, Dad makes a mean cider.”
“Right?” I croaked out as I picked up another glass. “Shit is so good.”
I swirled the amber liquid in the next glass, watching it catch the light. The first few samples had already loosened my muscles, making me feel relaxed and chatty.
“Look who I found,” Charlie announced, walking up to our table with Kai.
The bartender nodded at us, his usual stoic expression in place.
“Hello, Kai,” Natalie said, her tone dripping with disdain.
“Hey, bud,” I said, grinning. My good mood couldn’t be dampened, not even by Kai’s grumpy-ass presence.
“Chase. Staying out of trouble?”
My smile fell. Of course, he’d ask that. Kai had seen me at my worst more times than I could count.
“Doin’ my best.” I took a sip of cider, trying not to let his comment get to me.
Charlie was watching us both carefully, but before she could say anything, Jasper opened his big mouth.
“And we all know how much your best is worth.”
The happy bubble I’d been floating in all day popped.
“Fuck off, Jas.”
“What? Just sayin’ what everyone else was thinkin’.”
Natalie kicked him under the table, but my brother just crossed his arms, jaw clenched like the self-righteous prick he was.
“That’s not what I was thinking,” Charlie said, glaring at Jasper.
“Whatever.” I shoved my stool back and drained my drink. “I’m out.”
I stormed toward the door, my shoulders tight with tension. Just as I reached it, Elena walked in, her face lighting up when she saw me. But her smile dropped as she took in my expression. “Chase, what’s wrong?”
Her fingers caught my arm, gentle but grounding. For a moment, I wanted to fall into her, let her anchor me like she always did. But Jasper’s words echoed: And we all know how much your best is worth.
“Not now.” I yanked away from her touch, hating myself even as I did it. I couldn’t let her see me like this. Couldn’t drag her down with me.
I stormed out to my truck, hands shaking as I fumbled with the keys. I sat down and dug into the center console. If I couldn’t work out my frustration by punching my little brother in the jaw, I’d work my jaw on a piece of gum.
My fingers brushed plastic. Not foil. Not gum. Just one tiny bag. My stomach dropped. There, tucked in the back corner where I’d forgotten about it months ago, was a small baggie of white powder.
Fuck.
The Edison bulbs from the cidery reflected in my rearview mirror, warm and inviting. Inside, my family celebrated their success. Elena was probably worried, wondering where I’d gone.
But all I could focus on was that little bag in my trembling hand, promising to make everything fade away.
The sun was setting behind Elena’s cottage, painting the June sky in bruised purples and angry oranges that matched my mood perfectly.
I sat on her front porch steps, empty beer bottles lined up like little soldiers beside me while a fresh one sweated in my palm.
Everything had that soft-focus feeling, the coke from my center console mixing with the alcohol to create that familiar dangerous euphoria—edges blurred, Jasper’s words a little less sharp.
Just hours ago, Elena had told me she loved me.
I’d been flying high on that confession alone, feeling like maybe I was finally becoming the man she deserved.
Then Jasper had to remind everyone exactly who I was—the family fuckup.
The one who’d never be good enough. Not for the family business, not for their respect, and definitely not for Elena.
Everything tilted just enough to feel good, my skin alive with that too-perfect hum that always came before the fall. Her footsteps echoed like thunder across the wooden planks as she approached, each step sending vibrations through my bones.
“Chase, look at me.”
I did as she asked. Always would. Through my hazy vision, I could see something hard settling over her beautiful face as she stood a careful distance away.
The way she looked at me—clinical, assessing—told me she saw right through me.
Maybe Jasper was right. Maybe I’d just been fooling myself thinking I deserved her love.
“You’re high.”
I slammed my eyes shut, not ready to see that look in her eyes. Not from her. Not after this morning, when she’d looked at me with such trust, such hope. My heart raced, and I couldn’t tell if it was the coke or the shame.
“I’m an emergency medicine physician, Chase.” Her voice was steady, professional—the same tone she probably used with countless addicts in her ER. “I’ve seen what happens to people who depend on drugs and alcohol. And I’ve seen what happens to the people who care for them.”
“I’d never hurt you,” I insisted, the words coming out fast and slurred despite my best efforts. “Not you. You’re everything, Elena. This morning, when you said—”
“Don’t.” She cut me off sharply. “Don’t use what I said this morning to justify this.”
The memory of her whispered I love you twisted in my gut like a knife. Six hours. I’d managed to hold on to that perfect moment for six whole hours before proving Jasper right.
“Please.” I struggled to my feet, the world tilting dangerously. “I just... When Jasper started in on me at the cidery, saying how my best would never be good enough, I—”
“I think you should go.”
“No.” The word came out broken. “Elena, please. I love you. I’ll stop. I swear to god, I’ll stop right now.”
“I love you, too, Chase.” Her voice wavered. “That’s why I can’t watch you destroy yourself.”
The gentleness in her words hurt worse than anger would have. I moved toward her, desperate to close the distance between us, but she took another step back. That small retreat felt like a chasm opening up.
“Let me explain.” My words came too fast, thoughts scattered and racing. “Jasper, he just... He knows exactly how to get under my skin. Talking about how my best isn’t worth shit, how I’m just pretending to be better.”
I dragged shaking hands through my hair, the rest spilling before I could stop it—more than I’d ever admitted to anyone.
Elena listened intently as I rambled on and on, bits and pieces tumbling out in no particular order: how lost I felt, how aimless, how I’d been the family fuckup from the start, from pruning the trees wrong to hanging a straight-C report card beside Elliot’s straight A’s on the fridge.
I knew my family loved me. But they weren’t proud of me.
There wasn’t much to ever be proud of.
“Maybe Jas was right. Maybe I am just pretending. But this morning, with you... that was real, Elena. That was real.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, and I recognized the gesture—the way she protected herself when things got hard. Only this time, it felt like she was shielding herself from me, from the messy truth I’d just dumped in her lap.
“Being with you makes me want to be better,” I pleaded. “You make me feel like maybe I could be.”
“Chase...” Her voice cracked. “I can’t be the reason you get better. That has to come from you.”
The truth in her words hit harder than any of Jasper’s insults. I stared down at the beer bottle still clutched in my trembling hand, seeing myself through her eyes—just another addict making promises he couldn’t keep. The same promises I’d probably made and broken a hundred times before.
“Let’s just go to bed.” Her voice was soft, defeated in a way that made my chest ache worse than any shouting match could have.
I swayed on my feet, the mixture of coke and alcohol making everything too sharp and too blurry at the same time. Elena didn’t offer her hand to steady me. That small withholding felt like another wound.
She led the way inside, not looking back to see if I followed.
I always would. Even now, barely able to walk straight, I’d follow her anywhere.
The house was dark except for the porch light spilling through the windows, casting long shadows across the hardwood floors.
Each of my stumbling steps seemed to echo in the silence between us.
In her bedroom, she didn’t turn on the lights. Maybe she didn’t want to see me like this. Maybe I didn’t want her to. The mattress dipped as she lay down, still fully clothed, turning her back to my side of the bed.
I crawled in behind her, desperate to close the distance between us but knowing I didn’t deserve to.
My hand hovered over her hip, trembling.
When had I become so afraid to touch her?
This morning we’d been tangled in these same sheets, whispering I love you between kisses.
Now the space between us felt vast and uncrossable.
“Elena...” Her name came out like a plea.
“Just sleep, Chase.” The exhaustion in her voice cut deep. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
But we both knew morning would only bring harsh light to the mess I’d made of everything.
I pressed my face into the pillow, trying to steady my racing thoughts, my pounding heart.
The coke wouldn’t let me sleep, but maybe if I lay here quietly enough, she’d forget I was the kind of man who’d risk ruining the best thing in his life over a few cruel words and some white powder.