Chapter 30 Heath #2
When she stands on the porch, she looks over for a second before knocking the door. I watch her wait there longer than it fucking takes for someone to open the door.
She knocks again. Again. Then again.
But no one comes.
Even from afar I can see the look of heartbreak on her face.
She walks around to the windows and what she sees makes her step back. She stands there for a long minute before turning around and walking down the road towards me.
Without saying a word she slips inside and pulls up her knees to her chest. Burying her face in her arms, she quietly sobs.
Unbuckling the seatbelt, I reach over and wrap my arm around her. Pressing a kiss to her head, I give her a squeeze letting her know that I’m here.
“She was there. She saw me…” she croaks out in a weak voice that shoots pain through me.
It hurts to see her like this.
“Why didn’t she let you in?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” she whispers. “She saw me and turned her head as if she didn’t know me.”
“Fucking hell,” I mutter under my breath.
“Dad was there too, but he didn’t see me. The TV was loud so I think they didn’t hear me knock on the door.”
We both knew it was not true. Her mother saw her. If she wanted she could have let her in, but she didn’t.
I wonder what’s her fucking excuse. She is choosing her husband over her daughter. What kind of sick mother is she? And she doesn’t care that Hope is homeless right now. She has nowhere to go. Isn’t she worried where she spent the night or where’s staying?
How cruel can parents be?
“I don’t know what to do…” she murmurs.
“Do what?” I tuck her hair behind her ear to get a better look at her but her face is burrowed deep in her arms.
“Like where am I going to go now? Also, my phone, bag, clothes and everything is in my room. I have nothing with me.”
“You’re going to stay with me.” That makes her lift her head and look at me. Seeing that beautiful face with tear streaked cheeks and red rimmed eyes yanks at my heartstrings. I find myself filled with so much anger it makes me want to confront her parents.
But it’s also that face that holds me back because her pain creates an ache in me so deep I feel it in my soul.
My chest feels so tight it becomes hard to breathe. Like I’m taking my first breath after spending an eternity underwater.
Using my thumb, I wipe away all her tears and then cup her chin. “Don’t worry about my parents. I’ll take care of them.”
“But they said—”
“I know, but trust me okay.”
She chews on her bottom lip, clearly not convinced with the idea.
After the stunt my parents pulled this morning, I don’t trust that they’ll stay away now that they know everything. It’ll be hard to keep them at bay when it comes to my life. They’re already making decisions about whether Hope should stay at the mansion or not.
I need to talk to them about it.
But that’ll have to wait.
“Let’s get out of here for today,” I say softly.
“What?”
“Remember that date. Let’s spend the day together.”
“I don’t think I can—”
“Be with me today, Rose. I’ll take care of you.”
The wheels start turning in her head.
“Or we can go back to my place, if that’s what you want.”
The wheels stop.
Raising her hands to her face, she wipes away all her tears and pats her cheeks clean. Taking a tissue from the box resting on the dashboard, she sniffles and cleans herself.
Then she tames her hair, and finally looks at me.
“I’ll go with you on the date.”
My face softens. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“I want to.” Reaching over the centre console, she grabs my hand and her fingers settle on the middle finger. She moves the silver ring back and forth, as if doing so keeps her steady.
“Right now you’re the only one I have.”
Kill me.
Just fucking kill me, Rose.
Those words make my chest hurt. A throbbing pain pricks my heart like a needle.
Cupping her face in my hands, I press a long kiss against her forehead. “You will always have me, Rose. I love you.”
Tears glisten in those eyes, but she blinks and pushes them back, fighting herself to stay strong.
She doesn’t need to.
I’ve got her.
She can shatter into a million pieces and I’ll put back every single one. She can lose herself and I’ll find her. She can break down and go crazy and I’ll hold her and bring her back to me.
That’s how deep my feelings run for her.
I can do anything for this girl. Anything.
She shivers and murmurs in the tiny space between us. “I love you too. Much more than the limit.”
“Not possible because I love you more.”
Grabbing the jacket from the backseat, I wrap it around her trembling shoulders. I rub my palms down the length of her skinny, long arms hoping to suffuse some heat into her.
When she doesn’t stop shivering, I pick up her hands, engulf them in my big, warm palms and meet her gaze.
It doesn’t take a genius to know that what just happened has shaken her world.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I can’t stop shivering…” she says confused.
The vents are directed at her blasting hot air, but the chill in her bones is too cold to melt.
“Everything is going to be okay.” I kiss her hands. “You have nothing to worry about.”
She takes a deep breath but her teeth clatter together.
That breaks my resolve, watching her disassemble little by little.
Pulling away from her, I slide my seat all the way back and then pick her up and put her in my lap. Wrapping my arms around her, I press her tightly against my chest.
“Baby,” I say in her hair.
She nuzzles her face in the crook of my neck.
I cup the back of her head and slowly sink my fingers in until they reach her scalp. Gently I knead her head and mutter, “Look at me, Rose.”
Titling her head back, she looks at me. Her sad and scared eyes collide with mine.
“There you are,” I say, getting lost in her gaze. “Focus on me and my voice.”
She nods.
“It’s okay…” I coo as I run my palm down her back in an attempt to calm her down. I’ve never seen her react to a situation like before. And she’s been through some shit.
“Come back to me, Rose,” I plead in a desperate tone that sounds foreign to me. I don’t beg anyone for anything. But seeing her like this is making my heart tear apart my chest. Bones crack. Blood bleeds. Pain wrecks through me like lightning hitting the ground and ripping it to shreds.
I can’t contain it inside of me.
We stay like this for what feels like an hour.
She stays on my lap with her body curved into mine as if she wants to infuse herself into me — I want her to make me a part of her. Her face is tucked in my chest. I know she’s awake because she’s been playing with the threads of my hoodie and focusing on getting her breathing under control.
Silence has always felt comfortable with her. But today, it becomes air in which we both can breathe.
My hand unconsciously run up and down her back, the motion helps me soothe the erratic nerves.
After a long time she asks, “Can we go on the date tomorrow?”
“Yes,” I agree quickly.
“Are you sure?”
I tilt her chin up and make her look at me. “I’m sure.”
Her teeth work on her lower lip and I free it before she draws blood from it.
“What is it? Talk to me, Rose.”
“I’m sad.”
I nod, encouraging her to keep going.
She gulps. “No matter what I do I can’t stop thinking about the fact that my parents don’t want me in their house. They kicked me out as if I don’t mean anything to them. Especially my mom. I wasn’t expecting her to meet my gaze and pretend like I’m nothing to her.”
Pain flashes over her face and her eyes appear gloomy.
She is stuck inside her head — a place she likes to visit often — and keeps playing back what she saw.
“Yes, I can stay with you but I want to go home. My home.”
Fuck. Those words sink into my flesh like claws.
She truly feels like she’s been abandoned.
I know the feeling but this is different.
She’s lost her home.
“I’m sure she’ll let you in after a while,” I say.
“Maybe.”
“She will,” I assert. She has to.
Before she can argue with me, my phone ping with a message. The chiming breaks the tension and pulls are attention towards the text.
Blondie: When are you bringing over Hope?
“What does she mean?” Rose asks.
I grab my phone and type out a reply.
Heath: In fifteen minutes.
“She offered to help you get ready for the date,” I explain.
“Really?”
I give her a nod. Then roll my eyes and say, “She went on and on about how she’ll make you the most beautiful girl in the world — ” I look deep into her eyes. “Which you already are.”
A soft flush spreads across her cheeks, taking a yank at my heartstrings.
She looks lovely.
My phone starts ringing and it’s a call from Marie.
I attend the call and her first words are, “I want to talk to Hope.”
“No greeting for me?”
“I made you breakfast and gave you brilliant ideas for the date.”
“You told me all the things not to do on the date, including kissing.”
Hope lets out a giggle.
“That is because a date is more about spending time together than making out.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re the last person who should be saying that.”
“What! No. I didn’t make out with Sebastian.”
“You did. I know it because he told me.”
“Ugh! Why can’t guys keep a secret?”
“Why can’t girls keep a secret?”
She lets out a groan. “Put Hope on the phone.”
I hand my phone to my girlfriend and she takes it.
“Hi Marie… I’m fine…yes I’m with him for the weekend…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you….yes…no we are not today…no…uhh no… you don’t have to…I have some money… okay I’ll ask him…no wait you don’t have to…are you sure?… okay see you.”
She hands me back my phone.
“Marie is coming to pick me up.”
I groan in annoyance. “Why can’t she steal her fucking boyfriend and not my girlfriend?”
“Because she wants to check up on me.”
“I told her you’re fine.”
“And she said she wants to see me for herself.” She fidgets with the strings. “She offered me to stay at her house.”
“Not fucking happening. You’re sleeping with me.”
I loved having her in my arms and watching her sleep. It was peaceful seeing her toss her worries aside and rest up for a few hours. She looked so calm and I wanted that look to stay on her face forever.
“She said we can have a girl sleepover. I’ve never had that before,” she says in a low voice.
I clench my jaw at the thought of letting her go tonight. “Then you should stay the night with her. I’ll pick you up in the morning.”
She stares at me. “Are you sure — ”
I cup her face in my palms and smack a kiss on her lips. “I’m always sure, Rose. You don’t have to ask me every time.”
“People can change their mind.”
It doesn’t take a genius to know what makes her say that.
I press another kiss. “Not me. Never me.”