Chapter 36 Hope #2
“Start walking!” he barks, and the entire group falls into motion at once.
Heath turns back and gives me a reassuring nod but it does nothing to make me feel better.
Trouble follows me.
Those words play on repeat in my head.
First the cell, now the office. I’m always getting him into trouble. Why am I like this?
“C’mon, Hope.” Marie gives me a nudge toward her car, and somehow I manage to load my things in—and then climb in myself.
“It’s okay, they’ll be fine,” she tells me as she grabs my hand.
“What if they get suspended? What if—”
“Nope. We’re not doing it. We’re not going to think in the future. Just focus on the present.”
“The present says they’re in trouble because of me,” I burst out, the weight of guilt sinking deep into my bones like spikes.
“Hey! That’s not true.” Marie gives my hand a squeeze. “If those assholes said something about me, they would’ve done the same.”
“And you’d be okay with that?” I ask, my voice choking.
She shakes her head sadly. “Of course not, but I also know that we protect the people we care about.”
The slow, quiet thrum of anxiety flows underneath my skin, permeating tremors in my fingers.
At once, there’s a leap in my heart race and my pulse quickens. There’s a stutter in my breath, and then my breathing becomes shallow.
“I don’t want to get Heath into trouble.”
Marie shoots me an encouraging smile. “That’s inevitable.” She pauses. “Because he loves you, he’s always going to step in to make sure that you’re safe. It’s something that you have to be okay with.”
I nod, absorbing her words.
“I used to feel the same way you’re feeling right now. Guilt right?”
I nod again.
“It’s okay to feel this way because this is new to you. You’ve never had someone who jumped in without thinking. Someone who wanted to protect you. Someone who cares a lot about you.”
I hear everything she says, but one question keeps circling in my head. “What if it becomes too much and he leaves?”
Marie bursts out laughing. “Heath leaving you?” She lets out another cackle. “That isn’t happening. He isn’t going anywhere because he’s obsessed with you.”
A reel plays through my head, highlighting everything we’ve been through. He stayed when he didn’t need to. And now he’s here because he wants to.
I trust Heath with everything in me.
I need to trust his love too.
Because the way he loves me isn’t like how my parents love each other. This love is different. It’s kind, patient and safe. It’s the opposite of what I’ve seen my entire life, but exactly what I’ve read about my entire life.
“Heath loves you more than anything,” Marie says with a grin.
“I love him too. A lot.”
She smirks. “You tell him that when he comes to you.”
“I will.”
___________________
Marie and I are sitting in her room, eating cookies that her mom made, when my phone rings.
One glance and I see his name across the screen.
Marie grins as she watches me take the call.
“Hi,” I say before he can speak.
“Hi, Rose.”
Just the sound of his voice fills me with an unexpected sense of peace
“Are you okay? What happened?” I rush out.
“I’m fine. Everything's fine. Don’t worry your pretty, little head about it.”
“They didn’t suspend you, right?”
“No.”
“You promise?”
He chuckles. “I promise.”
Marie nudges me and shoots me a ‘I told you’ look. Then, her phone starts ringing, and she goes into the bathroom to talk to her boyfriend.
“Seems like you were worried about me.” Heath teases.
“I was. I couldn’t stop thinking about—”
“I’m fine, baby.”
Relief wraps around me, and I feel like I can breathe again.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
My heart strings get pulled. “I am.”
It takes him a moment before he speaks, “I’m coming to pick you up. Grab your stuff.”
Five minutes later I’m in his car and we’re going to his house.
For once, his parents aren’t home. I’m scared to face them again, especially after the last conversation we had. They know about me and what happened. I can’t bring myself to tell them that I won’t be a problem for their son. That it’s my family not me. I love their son and want to be with him.
They have to understand.
Heath grumbles all the way to the bathroom where I take him so I can apply ointment to his wounds. There’s a small cut on his bottom lip and a few scrapes on his knuckles. As I work on him, he stays quiet and watches me. I try to be as gentle as I can be.
Once I’m done, he picks up my hand and brushes a soft kiss on my fingers and mutters, “Thank you.”
I’m pretty sure my heart stops beating.
Taking my hand, we return to his room where he shows me the huge pile of books that I bought in the city and suggests I put them on the shelves.
It’s late in the evening when we finish arranging all the books onto the book shelf. He helps me, then leans against the wall and watches me like a hawk.
I blush under his unmoving, steady gaze that says I’m the most captivating thing in the world and he can’t look away.
“I can’t wait to read them all,” I say, admiring the books that line the shelves. There are so many. My book wall is nothing compared to it.
Thinking about it sends a pang of pain through my chest. At least these books will forever be safe.
“You should pick one to read,” Heath says dryly.
“I will tonight.” I’m determined to finish them in no time.
“Not tonight."
I face him. “Why not?”
Stepping away from the wall, he strides in my direction in slow, deliberate steps that make me freeze on spot.
Once he’s close, his heat wraps around me and melts my organs.
Placing his arms on either side of me, he cages me against my books.
“Because tonight you’ll be too busy with me.”
My breath chokes. “What?”
A smidge of smirk twitches the left side of his lips. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
The next second his lips are on mine, sparks explode, shooting heat and tingles everywhere. As he deepens the kiss, my toes curl and I can feel every nerve ending in me light up at once.
My back hits the shelf with a low thud.
I shiver when his big, warm hands touch my hips and he gently presses himself onto me.
The gesture knocks the air out of me because I can feel him.
A fire ignites, and heat gathers in the pit of my stomach, making it impossible to stay still and not squirm.
Slowly, he takes my hands and moves them above my head, where he pins them gently with only one hand. Bringing down the other, he cups my jaw and angles my face in such a way that when he kisses me, it’s like he’s touching my soul.
We kiss long and hard, until we’re both panting.
“I’m going to touch you,” he rasps.
His hand keeps my wrists pinned above, and the other slowly makes its way under my sweater.
A shiver races through my body, and he senses it.
His eyes stay locked on me, just looking into them fills me with trust.
Heath touches my skin, his knuckles softly caress, he makes small circles on my stomach.
My breath catches and I lean into his touch.
“Is it okay?” he asks, his touch staying in the same place.
I manage a small, unsteady nod.
“Words. I need words, Rose.”
“Yes,” I whisper.
A sly, mischievous smile spreads across my face at my boldness and his fingers inches upward.
Heat coils through my body, setting my skin alight. Beads of sweat gather at the base of my spine and my blood feels warm inside my veins.
“Can I take it off?”
I pause. A thought crossed my mind that night when I sat on his lap and let him see me.
I wriggle my wrists a little, and he gets the message. In a flash, he lets go of them and places his hands on either side of my waist — not touching me.
Plucking courage from somewhere deep inside of me, I say, “I want to see you.”
A frown appears on his face. It takes him a whole minute to comprehend what I meant.
When the meaning dawns on him, a chuckle escapes him, the sound light and easy as it sends the butterflies in my stomach frenzy.
“You know, you’ve seen me before.”
I blush hard. “That was different.”
“How?”
“I was merely admiring you.”
“And now?”
My cheeks flush with heat. “Now I can touch you.”
His gaze holds mine for several seconds before he takes my hand and leads me to the couch. Sitting down, he silently gestures for me to straddle him.
With hesitation, I place my knees on either side of him and settle into his lap, acutely aware of every inch where our bodies press together.
A curl of heat unfurls in the pit of my stomach. A new feeling that I’ve never experienced before.
Heath places his hands on my hips and moves me closer to him.
A soft gasp slips from my lips as I rub against him unintentionally.
His expressions tighten and I have a wild guess why.
Then his eyes soften. “Do you want to take my shirt off?”
I avert my gaze to the black T-shirt that clings to his body, the fabric stretching perfectly over his muscles, drawing my attention unwillingly.
“No, you do it,” I say, knowing I won’t be able to do it.
Sitting upright, he extends his arm to the back and reaches for the T-shirt. In one fluid movement, he lifts it and removes it from his body and tosses it beside us.
My eyes take in every inch of his upper half.
His chest and shoulders are packed with muscles, each curve defined.
The dips of his abs create a perfect six-pack, his toned shape adding to the appeal of his strong physique.
A little lower, and the faint shape of V catches my attention that disappears into the band of his trousers.
I quickly avert my gaze from it.
“Go ahead and touch me,” Heath demands.
Lifting my hand, I press it in the middle of his chest where the strong, healthy beat of his heart vibrates his skin. Upon my touch, it picks up pace and the rhythm pulses against my palm.
“This is what you do to me,” he tells me.
“Make your heart race?”
His lips twitch. “And some other things.”
“Like what?”
Taking my hand, he slowly moves it down his chest. His skin is burning hot, and feels tight and smooth as it stretches over his prominent and sculpted muscles. As we near his stomach, the meaning behind his words start to sink in.
He stops my hand just above where the waistband of his trousers rests.
We both freeze, knowing well enough where this is going.
“This is natural because you’re my girlfriend and I love you.”
I nod, my face probably resembling a red brick.
“We’re not going to do anything until you say so.”
Before I can tell him that I want him, there’s a knock on the door. And then the door opens.
“Heath do you want — Oh my God!” Carol stands in the doorway, with her open mouth and eyes wide.
My face pales.
I scramble off, rushing as far from him as I can, while he remains motionless, sitting exactly where he is and watching his mother with an annoyed expression.
I want to disappear.