Chapter 22
22
HANK
W hen I heard the words leave her lips I thought my heart was going to stop.
‘I was raped. ’
I hadn’t felt so hollowed out since the moment my aunt told me about my mother. Hearing her talk about being attacked gutted me and when she told me the man who harmed her had gotten away, I saw red. I was so angry I had to take a moment and remind myself it was about her, not me, and that getting angry wasn’t going to help anyone. I thought for a moment about asking Malcolm if he wanted to meet up for some one-on-one sparring sometime this week to work it off.
We had been driving in silence ever since I helped her into the car, my hand protectively resting on her thigh. Unlike before, her hand was interlocked with mine, holding it tightly and running her thumb across the back of my hand. Without meaning to, my breath became synced with each swipe of her thumb and it brought me a new sense of purpose.
Before Bailey, everything I did was for the Army.
Now I was ready to flip my entire life upside down just to make sure she was okay.
After thirty minutes in the car, I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment. I looked at her and pulled our hands towards my lips, kissing the back of hers before getting out of the car. I walked around the car and opened her door, extending my hand for her to take. She took it with a look of admiration in her eyes and hopped out, never letting go of me.
Once we reached my door, I unlocked it and let her go in ahead of me. I was suddenly nervous to have her in my place but I wasn’t sure why. I had cleaned up before I left and my bed was made because a soldier never left his bed unmade.
“This is nice,” she commented with a polite smile, turning in a circle as she stood in what was both my kitchen and my living room. My apartment was fine but I definitely wouldn’t constitute it as ‘nice’. It’s what I had the money for when I came home earlier in the summer and it was the closest place to the gym, so I signed the lease. Now that I had more money thanks to my job, I planned on moving to something nicer downtown as soon as I could.
“You don’t have to lie,” I chuckled. “I know it’s not much. It’s definitely not as nice as your place.”
“Please, ‘my place’ isn’t even my place. I don’t know if I told you, but Ophelia owns the condo. She’s just nice enough to let me live with her while I figure my shit out…” Her voice trailed off at the end and I could tell she was embarrassed. She was playing with the hem of her dress again, something I noticed she did when she was nervous. Not wanting her to feel uncomfortable, I pulled her into a hug and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.
“Let’s get you something to wear,” I said close to her ear. She slipped from my embrace and took my hand into hers again. As we walked through my apartment, she swung our hands back and forth until we reached my bedroom. The small room was just off of the kitchen and only held my bed, a small desk I had found on the side of the road, and my closet. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. I had learned to live with so little that the thought of having anything above the bare minimum felt unnecessary. Now that I had a beautiful woman in my room, I wished I had done something a little more with the space.
She sat down on the foot of the bed and watched me as I pilfered through my closet, trying to find her something clean to wear. After a little digging, I found an old pair of sweats and a T-shirt with the word ARMY written across the front that I somehow still had from my first few years in the service. I turned around to find her watching me with reverence.
“What are you lookin’ at, blondie?” I asked with a side smile, walking towards her with the clothes.
“Just you. I like seeing you in your space, it’s nice seeing you here.” She took the clothes I handed to her and looked around. Assuming she was looking for a place to change, I pointed to the bathroom door on the opposite side of the room. There was nothing I wanted to see more than her stripped down to nothing but her underwear, but after what she shared with me earlier, I wasn’t going to push for anything she didn’t first ask for herself. I sat on the bed and waited for her, playing with my hands and trying to stay busy. I can’t believe she’s in my place right now. Changing into my clothes. I wonder what she looks like as she slips off her dress…
“What do you think? Am I ready for duty?” I spun my head towards her voice which she had deepened and when our eyes connected, she gave me the worst salute I’d ever seen. I couldn’t help but laugh at her. She had her face screwed up as if she was trying to look tough and the clothes I had lent her were comically oversized. They literally looked like they could swallow her whole. But damn did she look hot as fuck wearing my clothes. Breathe dude, just breathe.
I stood from the bed and walked towards her. Once in front of her, I placed my hand over hers, stretching out her fingers so they were flat and bending her elbow so that her salute was now proper. Her eyes watched me with so much attention you would have thought I was doing something far more entertaining than I was. Once her form was fixed, I took a step back and returned the gesture.
“You look like you wouldn’t last a day,” I deadpanned before bursting into a fit of laughter.
“Hey!” She playfully punched my arm, offended. “I think I would make for a fine soldier with proper training.” We were both laughing at this point. I reached for the arm she used to punch me with and pulled her into my chest.
“I think you would, too, with proper training of course.” The way she looked up at me, her eyes locked on mine, almost brought me to my knees. It wouldn’t take much for me to close the space between us and press my lips to hers. I missed the feeling of them and wanted nothing more than to pick her up, wrap her legs around my torso, and officially make her mine.
“Hank?” I watched her perfectly curved lips say my name, still holding her against my chest. I held her wrist in one hand and had my other arm wrapped around her lower back. If I pressed hard enough, she would definitely feel the hard-on I was trying to conceal.
“Yeah, blondie?” I hummed.
“Thanks for the clothes,” she nearly whispered. Her eyes were fluttering between mine and my lips, like a silent invitation for me to lean in and close the gap between us. I took a step away from her instead but held onto her hand.
“You’re welcome. Let’s go watch a movie or something.” I pulled her hand behind me and tried to pretend that I hadn’t seen her face fall for half a second. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to kiss her, it’s that I didn’t want her to think I was taking advantage of her. She had shared something so personal with me that I wasn’t sure where to go from here. I wanted her. Badly. But I wasn’t going to push her into doing something she wasn’t ready to do.
Walking out to the living room, I took a seat on the couch and watched as she sat on the opposite side and tucked her legs under herself. We argued for twenty minutes about what movie to watch and after three rounds of rock, paper, scissors, I lost and had to watch 13 Going on 30 . Over the next hour and a half, I learned that Jennifer Garner is one of her favorite actresses, Mark Ruffalo is considered a ‘daddy’, and that she had once dressed up as Jenna Rink for Halloween. By the end of the movie, Bailey had made her way over from the opposite side of the couch and was lying on her side with her head on my lap. At one point she had mentioned she was cold so I went and grabbed her a blanket. As she watched the movie, covered up and with her feet on the couch, I looked at her. I saw her quote parts of the movie word for word and laughed at bits I wouldn’t find funny if she weren’t around. I think I watched her more than the movie, but I was okay with that.
I could watch her like this every day and be perfectly fine with it.
I’m so fucked.
“Mmmm, that feels nice,” she cooed, pressing her cheek into my thigh.
“What does?” I asked, watching her and loving how she nuzzled her cheek into my leg.
“You playing with my hair like that.” Looking at my hand, I realized what I had been doing. I had a long blonde tendril wrapped around my finger, and was twisting and twirling it between my index finger and my thumb. “My mom used to play with my hair when I was little and it always relaxed me.”
“Then I will keep doing it.” I smiled down at her as she looked up at me.
“Let’s play a game,” she said suddenly, twisting herself so she was on her back and looking up at me.
“Okay, what game do you wanna play? Keep in mind, it’s almost ten so starting a rousing game of Monopoly probably isn’t the best idea.”
“You got a bedtime or something?” she teased, giggling to herself, “Plus, do you even own Monopoly?” She looked around my place and we both took in the sheer lack of stuff it had.
“I was never a Monopoly kid. Always preferred different board games growing up.”
“Like Dungeons and Dragons?” Her eyebrows raised as she asked. A small part of me worried she was judging me, the memory of being teased for playing the game as a kid still stinging years later.
“Yes,” I tickled her side causing her to spasm and laugh loudly, “like Dungeons and Dragons. We just call it D and D though.”
“Ahhh, I see. D and D. Interesting.”
“You said you wanted to play a game?” I reminded her.
“Oh, yes, I do.” She clapped her hands together in front of her and a smile grew on her face. “Let’s play twenty questions.”
“Twenty questions? You wanna play twenty questions?” I asked.
“Yes, I wanna play twenty questions. Please?” She looked up at me again with puppy dog eyes that made my ability to resist her request impossible. For a guy who did eleven years in the service, I was a fuckin’ softy when it came to her.
“Fine, we can play twenty questions, but only because you look so cute.” Her cheeks flushed at my words and I grabbed another piece of her hair to play with.
“Okay, me first, hmmm. Okay, what is your favorite thing to cook?” she asked.
“Hmm…” I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking about all the recipes and dishes my mother had taught me how to make before I lost her. “I think my favorite is chilaquiles? 1 . It’s really easy to make, is perfect to eat at any time of day, even though it’s meant to be breakfast, and you can share it with someone.” I thought about how my mother would make me the dish every Saturday and Sunday, and then she and I would sit at the bar and eat it together.
“I hope you make it for me one day.” Her lips were spread into a small smile and I made a promise to myself that one day, I would.
“Okay, your turn,” she commanded.
“What?”
“It’s your turn. Now you ask me a question.” She spoke to me like I should have known that already.
“Oh, okay let me think. How about…what do you do when you’re having a bad day?” I’m not sure where the question came from but I was curious about her answer. What did she do when she was having a bad day? It felt strange to even think she could have a bad day seeing as how she always seems to have a sunny, spunky disposition.
“Good question,” she gasped and swatted my leg. A sense of pride swelled in my chest. “Hmm, I think my favorite thing to do on a bad day is take a bath and read. I don’t know what it is, but the hot water and a good book always seem to make me feel better.”
The naked image of her in the tub hit me like a ton of bricks and I quickly adjusted how I was sitting so the growing erection I had wasn’t poking her in the back of the head.
“What do you do when you’re having a bad day?” She looked up at me and when she tilted her chin back, I worried I was about to be found out.
“You can’t just steal my question.” I chuckled and tickled her again.
“Yes I can. I asked to play the game so I can make up the rules and ask whatever questions I wanna ask. Now answer.” She gently pinched my leg and I let out a gasp at the sensation.
“Okay, okay fine, just don’t hurt me,” I teased, tickling her slightly causing the room to be filled with the warmth of her laugh. “I guess I like to go for a ride on my bike, it helps me clear my head. Or I go to the gym. I find that a little bit of self-inflicted pain goes a long way.” She ‘humphed’ and nodded her head in agreement. Knowing it was my turn to ask, I continued. “Do you have a favorite kind of candy?”
“Doesn’t everyone?” Her eyebrows knitted together as she looked up at me. “Sno Caps are my favorite.”
“Sno Caps? Are you serious? Those are like, the most random candy.” Leave it to my girl to prefer a candy you could only find at movie theaters and concession stands.
“What? They’re good! I like to suck on them until all the chocolate melts and then chew on the crunchy bits.” She laughed in my lap and I tried to push out the idea of her sucking anything out of my head. While I don’t think she realized it, she was turning me further inside out with every new answer she shared.
“Okay my turn to ask,” she started again. “How did you meet your best friends?”
“I met them all in third grade and we’ve been inseparable since. Well, metaphorically speaking. Kolbi is the one I work for, Malcolm works at the bar where you met them, and then Conrad works for himself.”
“What do you mean ‘ metaphorically ’?”
“Well, we all grew up here in Charleston together and would spend nearly every day together. Then when I turned eighteen, I enlisted in the military. It was a way for me to get away from my dad and it got me an education, kind of. I never really did finish school. Once I was trained, I went into the field and never came back. It was only earlier this year that I decided I was ready to move on and come home.”
“So that means you were gone for?—”
“Almost eleven years.” I finished her sentence for her and looked down to see her eyes were wide and her mouth was slightly ajar. This was the first time we had really spoken about my time in the service.
“That must have been so hard for you to be away for so long.”
“It was hard to be away from them, sure. But not here. I never heard from my dad once while I was gone but my friends, I talked to them every day that I could through email or video calls. They’re my real family in my eyes.” My bottom lip wrapped around my teeth as I thought about how my friends got me through so much even when we were thousands of miles apart. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for them.
She sat up from her spot and shifted to sit next to me cross-legged on the couch. She took my hands into hers, kissed the backs of them, and looked at me with more admiration than anyone ever has.
“Thank you for keeping our country safe all that time, Hank. I’m very grateful for you.” I had been thanked by strangers for my time in the military for what felt like a thousand times but none of them meant as much to me as hers did.
“I think it’s my turn for a question,” I hummed, moving my body closer to hers.
“Yes, I think you’re right, soldier,” she replied as she leaned in toward me with a small smile.
“May I kiss you?”
1 ? A traditional Mexican breakfast dish consisting of corn tortillas cut into quarters and lightly fried.