Chapter One #2
But it wasn’t something he needed to worry about right now.
For a little bit, he could rest and give his mind time to settle.
It was safe here, even though he was uncomfortable.
He couldn’t stay forever because it wouldn’t be fair to the people who’d welcomed him, but he wasn’t planning to.
They shouldn’t have to deal with Graham considering what he’d done.
Graham sucked in a breath. He had more packing to do, but he couldn’t do it right now.
The thought of touching more of his brother’s things made him want to scream and cry.
Maybe taking a walk around the castle would help.
Maybe he could even go upstairs to one of the towers and get some fresh air.
It didn’t really matter as long as he was away from this bedroom and Simon’s ghost. He just needed to make sure to stay away from the mages and the dragons.
They might have agreed to let him stay, but that didn’t mean they were happy with his presence here.
This was their home, and the last thing Graham wanted was to make them uncomfortable.
That was why he avoided spending time with them as much as possible, leaving his bedroom only for meals.
These four walls were feeling suffocating, though.
Graham was reaching his breaking point, and he needed something to change before he did something stupid like screaming and making everyone think he was up to something.
Without looking back at his brother’s things still scattered on his bed, waiting for him to put them away, he shoved his feet into a pair of shoes and left the bedroom.
Maybe he could even go to the kitchen on his way back.
He could get some food and avoid eating a few meals with the dragons and their mages. He was sure they’d be relieved.
So would he.
* * * *
EMORY WASN’T SURE HOW he was feeling when he left the roof terrace.
Jarvis was still out there, watching his dragon and their son fly above his head.
There was a peace to him as he did so that Emory wasn’t sure he’d ever achieve for himself, but that was okay.
It wasn’t what he was looking for, at least not right now.
The problem was that he didn’t know what he was looking for right now. He had his dragon back, and he was safe. He had a place he could call home, and he didn’t need to be afraid. With Carlyle gone, the world was his oyster.
Where did that leave him? He’d only ever known two things in his life—how to be a mage’s shield, and how to be by himself in the middle of nowhere. He didn’t know how to live with people anymore. He didn’t know what to make of his life now that he had one again.
There were many more things he didn’t know, and that terrified him, but luckily for him, he had plenty of time to figure things out.
He turned the corner and slammed right into someone. He reached out on instinct, wanting to keep both of them on their feet. He snatched his hands away when he realized that he was holding Graham, though.
For a second, Graham looked hurt, and Emory felt guilty. Graham was quick to hide that expression, but not quick enough. Emory wasn’t sure what to think of that. Surely, Graham didn’t expect Emory to be happy to see him considering their history?
Or maybe he did. Graham wasn’t just Carlyle’s minion.
He’d saved Emory’s life, and Emory was very much aware that he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the man standing in front of him.
He didn’t like owing his life to someone who’d worked with Carlyle, but Graham had stepped away before things got out of hand.
Besides, Emory had once trusted Carlyle, once.
Hell, he’d been in love with him. He hadn’t known what Carlyle was up to back then, and he’d worked with him because that was what he was supposed to do as Carlyle’s shield.
Simon had known what Carlyle was doing, yet, he’d stayed on Carlyle’s side for way too long, and he’d died because of that decision.
Emory made to move, and his foot bumped against a plastic bag.
He frowned down at it, wondering what Graham was doing scurrying in the hallways with bags.
Graham quickly picked it up, though, and he held it close to his chest as if afraid Emory would take it from him.
Emory’s dragon nose recognized the scent of food as Graham moved.
It was clear that Graham had been in the kitchen and that he was going back to his room with enough food to last for a few meals. Why?
“You know that you can eat with us in the dining room, right?” he asked. In fact, most of the mages and the dragons had made it clear that Graham was welcome to do so.
Graham’s cheeks flushed. He was looking everywhere but at Emory. “I know,” he said quietly.
“I mean, I understand keeping snacks in your room, but that looks like a lot of snacks.”
“I just don’t want to bother anyone,” Graham murmured, his voice so soft that Emory wouldn’t have heard him if he hadn’t been a dragon shifter.
He understood feeling like a bother more than a lot of people.
He didn’t feel like this was his home or like he belonged, so he got it.
Things were different for Graham, though.
Emory had always been on the mages’ side.
He’d always wanted Carlyle to pay for what he’d done.
Graham, on the other hand, had been on Carlyle’s side.
He’d been working with him, helping him hurt people even though he hadn’t hurt anyone himself.
“You wouldn’t have been allowed to stay here if you bothered the people who live in this place,” Emory said gruffly. “I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you.”
“I don’t know how I’m supposed not to worry,” Graham murmured, then hesitated. “How are you doing? Are you feeling better?”
“I’m fine.”
“Because I could help you with your wounds if you want. I realize I’m not a mage, but I do know how to treat those.”
He said that like he had years of experience, and maybe he did.
Emory didn’t know anything about Graham’s past. He didn’t know how the man had ended up with Carlyle, why he’d stayed with Carlyle for so long, or how he felt about losing his brother, although Emory could guess that.
He was curious, but at the same time, he was also wary. He didn’t trust Graham. How could he?
But Emory and Graham would always be linked in some way.
They couldn’t avoid it. From what Emory understood, Graham was distantly related to Carlyle, which was how he and his brother were able to get Carlyle out of the gemstone the mages had trapped him in.
Carlyle had been Emory’s mage and the love of Emory’s life.
Emory would never be able to forget or ignore that, no matter how long he lived.
He and Graham were linked through the most awful man possible, and there was nothing either of them could do about that.
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m fine,” Emory said more gruffly than he wanted.
He didn’t want to scare Graham off, and he was grateful for the offer, just like he’d said, but he didn’t need to be fussed over.
He hadn’t in a long time, if ever. Carlyle had never been the type to fuss over anyone, not even the dragon he’d claimed he loved.
Maybe that should have clued Emory in as to what had been happening behind his back.
“It’s really not a bother,” Graham insisted.
“The mages took good care of me. I’m fine.”
Graham cocked his head and stared at Emory in a way that made Emory uncomfortable.
“You haven’t gone flying,” Graham said.
For a moment, it felt like Emory was thrown back into his relationship with Carlyle. Carlyle had always been able to see through his lies. He’d always known.
“I’m fine,” Emory said, telling himself that Graham wasn’t Carlyle and that he couldn’t treat him as if he was.
He couldn’t allow his fear and disgust to take over.
Even though the man wasn’t innocent by any means, he hadn’t committed the atrocities Carlyle had.
He hadn’t taken Emory’s dragon from him, and it wouldn’t be fair to Emory to treat him as if he had.
“I don’t need your help,” Emory said. “But again, thank you for offering.”
Graham continued watching Emory for a moment before he finally nodded. Emory was relieved. He didn’t know what to make of this man, and he didn’t think that spending time with him was a good idea. Luckily for him, he didn’t have to.
“I have to go,” he said, pointing toward the end of the hallway. He didn’t wait for Graham’s reaction. He fled, feeling like an idiot but not being able to help himself.
Graham made him feel many different ways, and he didn’t know how to deal with that. He didn’t know what to think of it.
He didn’t know how to stop.