Chapter Two #2
Emory had questions about that, but something told him that if he asked them, Graham would get spooked and run. He kept glancing at the other end of the hallway like he was planning on doing just that. “You regret doing whatever it is you did for Carlyle, right?” he asked.
“We never should have. I should’ve been stronger and stood up to my brother. Maybe he wouldn’t be dead if I had.”
Great. Now Emory wanted to comfort Graham.
The problem was that he had no idea how to do it.
The two of them weren’t friends. They weren’t anything, but Emory owed Graham his life.
If it wasn’t for him, Emory wouldn’t be here today.
“You can’t know that,” he said gently. “And you never will. It’s useless to blame yourself for that.
Your brother made his own decisions, and there’s nothing you can do to change what he did. ”
“But is there anything I can do to change what I did?”
* * * *
GRAHAM WAITED FOR EMORY’S answer. He wasn’t sure he’d like what he was about to hear, but he wasn’t asking him because he wanted to like it.
He wanted answers. He wanted to know what he could do to get people to forgive him.
More than that, he wanted to know what he could do to atone for what he’d done.
He hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, but he had, and he hated it.
He needed people to forgive him. He needed to know they didn’t hate him.
Maybe he shouldn’t feel that way, but he did, and he couldn’t help it.
“You’ll never change what you did,” Emory said gently.
“No, but I can atone for it. I can try to do some good to balance the bad I’ve done. I want to be useful to you and everyone else in the castle. I want to show all of you that you did the right thing by helping me.” He swallowed. “I know where Carlyle liked to hide.”
Emory blinked. “I do, too.”
“You know where Carlyle liked to hide before, when the two of you were together. I don’t think they’re the same places that I know.”
“Maybe they are. I didn’t find him anywhere when I went looking for him, though.”
“Because he knew you’d look for him. I’m not saying that we’ll find anything in his recent hiding spots, but I believe it’s worth a try.
Maybe he left stuff behind.” Graham was sure he had.
When they’d liberated Carlyle from the gemstone, he hadn’t had anything with him but the clothes on his back, but that had quickly changed.
Initially, he’d used the little money Graham and Simon had, but Carlyle had been smart.
Before facing the mages, he’d left money hidden in places he could easily get to if he needed it, and some of it was still there even after all the time he’d spent in the gemstone.
Graham wasn’t only thinking about money, though. Carlyle had been a powerful mage, and he’d worked with magic a lot. He was bound to have left ingredients or books somewhere, and maybe the mages could use those.
“I’m not sure what you’re offering,” Emory said slowly.
“To show you some places where Carlyle liked to hide. I don’t know what you’ll find there, but it’s worth a try, and hopefully, it’ll help me atone. It’ll help everyone see that I’m on your side.”
“That’s not a decision I can make. I’m not the leader here.”
Graham knew that. “Maybe you could talk to Jarvis for me?”
“You could talk to Jarvis. He would never push you away.”
“He should.”
“Maybe, but he won’t. The mages have welcomed you into their home. That means you’re here to stay for as long as you want. They don’t need you to provide them with anything in exchange.”
“But I want to.”
“Because you want to atone.”
Graham looked away. “Wouldn’t you in my place? Wouldn’t you want to help as much as possible to balance the bad things you did?”
“Don’t you think you’ve already done that when you saved my life?”
“I just did the right thing.”
“I agree that you did. If you hadn’t, I’d be dead. Isn’t that enough, though? What more do you want to do?”
Graham set his jaw. “Everything I can. Besides, I’m sure that some of the stuff that Carlyle left around is dangerous. Someone should check it and ensure that no one will get hurt by it. He’s already done enough. He doesn’t need to do more from the grave.”
Emory couldn’t argue with that. It would be better if someone could check on Carlyle’s stuff, just in case. Emory had to see that.
“I’ll talk to Jarvis,” Emory eventually said.
Graham nodded, satisfied. “Thank you. I really hope I’ll be able to help.”
“Even though there’s no reason for you to?”
“We’re going to have to disagree on that.
There are plenty of reasons for me to atone.
Hopefully, this will be enough.” Because if it wasn’t, Graham wasn’t sure what else he could do.
He didn’t want to overstay his welcome, so he was planning on leaving as soon as he could, but first, he wanted to do this.
He wanted to help the mages. He wanted to show them that he wasn’t a bad person and that he never had been. He didn’t know if this would be enough or if they’d want anything to do with it, but it was the only thing he could think of, and as far as he was concerned, it was a start.