Emotional Overload #2
“Darling, you have to give her time. Her world just turned upside down. Of course she’s scared. I would be too if you asked me to learn a whole new way of life in such a short time,” Helena chided.
“I’m trying the best I can, but that family of hers has convinced her she is incapable of doing anything. I know she has it in her. I can see it,” Ballard said, the strength of his conviction clear in his voice. “She just needs to believe in her inner strength that I can plainly see.”
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. In no way had someone ever believed me capable of achieving anything for myself. Hearing someone put so much faith in me was overwhelming. Vasin, of course, had been right. I wasn’t a lost cause to Ballard—he did believe I had it in me to be successful.
“Hey, you just going to stand there all awkward, or are you going into the kitchen any time soon?” Cole’s haughty voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
I whirled around, coming face-to-face with him, not realizing how close he’d been standing behind me.
I instinctively stepped back, not comfortable with him being in my space.
His green eyes watched me with a bored expression, and then he slowly circled me as if sizing me up.
I fought the urge to flee from his scrutiny, feeling exposed under his gaze.
“I hear I’m going to teach you some combat skills,” he said, facing me again.
“I think it’s a waste, to be honest. There’s no way you’ll ever be able to pull this off in a year and survive a job.
That being said, if you really want to learn, I will teach you.
But if you don’t give it your all, I won’t be to blame for your failure or death. ”
I flinched at his words as they cut through me like a knife. They were too close to the words that had filled my head all day. I agreed—I didn’t know if I could survive out there on a job.
Then the words Ballard and Vasin said reminded me I had people who thought I could prevail.
Anger at Cole’s words bloomed in my chest. I’d had it with this boy and his insults about my intelligence, strength, and capabilities.
If I were willing to do anything, it would be to show him how wrong he was.
I would learn everything I needed in a year, and I would be better than him by the time I’m done.
Cole’s haughty look faltered as I came to this decision, and his eyes narrowed as if he could see the change in attitude come over me.
“I would watch how you address me, Cole,” I said, looking deep into his eyes so I knew I had his attention. “I will be your queen in a year’s time, and I won’t forget those who have wronged me along the way. Then who will be the little mouse?”
“This is what I’ve been saying all along… under that ladylike exterior is steel,” Ballard said, grinning in the kitchen doorway. “I would be careful from now on, Cole. I get the feeling she’ll be a force to be reckoned with when pissed off.”
“Enough of that kind of talk,” Helena said, waving us all into the kitchen, a soft smile on her face. “Come sit down, the lot of you, and let’s have lunch together. Abbott’s still on a job, so we won’t see him until tomorrow morning for your first day of training.”
“Who is Abbott?” I asked, remembering Ballard saying his name before.
We sat at the large wooden table as Helena set down plates and bowls filled with wonderful-smelling food.
“He was born in one of the other clans, but his parents died. The clan didn’t have enough to go around to take care of a newborn, so we took him in,” Ballard shared. “He lives in his own cabin but still comes and has his meals with us.”
Surreptitiously, I watched what the others did since there weren’t any servants to dish out the food.
Cole grabbed bread from the basket while Ballard scooped potatoes into his bowl without hesitation.
I gingerly plucked a slice of bread out of the basket, trying to make it look like this wasn’t my first time.
“Hand me your plate, dear,” Helena said, coming to my rescue and filling my plate with the sides.
“Thank you,” I said. “It all smells amazing.”
“Helena is the best cook in the clan. No one can come close to the food she makes,” Cole boasted between mouthfuls. “Wait till you try some of her pies. They are like tasting heaven.”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to with all that flattery, Cole,” Helena said, waving a finger at him before she turned back to me. “I am glad you like the food, dear. I wasn’t sure if it would measure up to what you are used to eating.”
“This food is way better than what our cook back home could make. Although, I think when you’re not allowed to eat all the time, you find you’re not very picky,” I said as I swallowed another spoonful.
They all stopped eating and looked at me with expressions ranging from horror to shock.
I hadn’t meant to let that slip out, but I was so caught up in the friendly conversation I’d said it without thinking.
It made me wonder if this is what a real family meal was supposed to be like.
It was vastly different from our stiff and formal meals, where the only sound came from our silverware.
I could get used to being surrounded by the gentle flow of conversation and laughter.
“Cassarah, are you all right, dear?” Helena asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“I’m fine. The past few days have been a little overwhelming, is all.”
“I would think so. Why don’t you go up to your room and rest for a while once you’re finished eating? Training isn’t until tomorrow, so why not take the afternoon to settle in,” Helena suggested as she turned to Ballard. “That would be fine, wouldn’t it, love?”
Even though she asked the question, I already knew she was telling more than asking.
“I think that’s a great idea. I brought the books that Sal gave you and put them in your room if you feel like reading,” Ballard commented.
“Thank you for lunch… it was delicious. I think I’m going to take your advice and head up.” I stacked my dishes and picked them up but then stopped, a little lost as to what to do with them next.
“Just set them in the wash basin, child. I’ll take care of them.” She pointed to a large metal basin with a water pump next to it. I bowed my head in thanks and did as she asked, then slid open the secret door to my room.