Getting to Know You
“Hey, you okay?” I whispered to Jade as he led our group back to my room.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he answered, brushing off my question.
“Look, it’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it. I get having things you don’t want anyone else to know about. My family life wasn’t exactly all that wonderful,” I murmured, relaxing into his hold.
Jade grunted, but when he didn’t say anything more, I let the matter drop.
Just past the door to my room there was another I hadn’t noticed in the dark, but now a torch was burning outside it.
May gestured for Gavin to follow her, and she swung it open, revealing an open space with other doors branching off it.
“These are the guardians’ rooms. I figured with everything going on, it would be best for Prince Gavin to stay here with us.
There are ten rooms so each of us gets a room to ourselves.
It’s nothing fancy, but this cavern wasn’t meant to be lived in forever,” May explained, then turned to Gavin.
“The two with the doors open aren’t taken, so feel free to pick between the two.
There isn’t a bathing chamber in this section, but if you need it, we can show you where it is. ”
“No, all I want is food and sleep,” Gavin said, then turned to look at me. “Do you need me for anything else?”
I gave him a soft smile and shook my head. “Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow. Eat and get some rest. The past few days have been hell on you, and I’m sure you didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“None. I was too anxious to sleep, even with May and Dayson guarding me,” Gavin admitted.
“We will all be right next door if you need anything, and I’ll make sure food is brought over,” I offered, making sure he knew where people he could trust were.
With a slight bow, Gavin headed into the space to find a room and some sleep.
Cole already had my door open for Jade to enter easily, but he halted when I gasped, finding that it had been completely rearranged with more furniture and other things to make it more comfortable.
Instead of the small table for two, there was a larger version for six people to sit at.
There was even a comfortable couch and overstuffed chair, giving everyone a seat in my room.
The bed was still there but had been shifted to allow for more space, the covers had been changed, and the bed was made.
“What is all this?” I asked as Jade set me down in front of the armchair.
“The room hadn’t been prepared for you to have eight guardians and a crown prince who might be spending time in your rooms,” Abbott teased as he sat on the couch.
“Truthfully, we didn’t have much time to think about this room being used.
It was such a frenzy getting everyone here and then trying to make a plan to get you back. ”
My head snapped to face him. “You were looking for me?”
“Don’t be an idiot. Of course, we were looking for you, little mouse. You got taken right under our noses by one of our own. Why wouldn’t we come after you?” Cole snapped.
Jade whirled, and a dagger was once again at Cole’s throat. “How many times do I have to tell you not to speak to her like that, Raven?”
Cole slapped Jade’s hand away from him, not in the least bit worried about getting hurt. “I know who you are, Shadow. The real question is, does she?”
“You will be dead where you stand if another word comes out of your mouth,” Jade snarled, stepping closer to Cole.
Cole moved in a flash, knocking the dagger out of Jade’s hand, twisting his arm behind him, and trapping him in an armlock I knew hurt like a bitch. “If you weren’t her guardian, there is no way I would let someone like you near her. Filth like you doesn’t deserve to be given the honor.”
Frozen, I watched in wide-eyed shock at the animosity between them.
Once my brain and body caught up, I shot to my feet and took a step to stop them, shouting as I moved.
“Stop it right now!” Forgetting about my leg, I slammed it against the low table and dropped to my knees, my hands slapping the stone floor as I caught myself.
“Cass,” Cole cried out, shoving Jade away from him and darting toward me, but Dayson was there first.
“Back off, Raven. You’ve done enough already,” Dayson warned.
Taking my arm, he helped me to my feet, and I limped back to my chair. Dayson dropped to his knee, placing my foot on his thigh and pulling up the leg of my loose pants until the bandage was revealed. You could see specks of blood soaking through the fabric, letting me know I’d agitated it.
“Payson, grab me the supplies Alto left for us over on the shelf by the bed,” Dayson directed as he started to unwrap my bandages.
Abbott stood and walked over to Cole, grabbing his arm and dragging him toward the door. “What the hell, man?”
“We’re going to get food for her because after they finish cleaning that, we’ll be lucky if she’s awake long enough to even eat it,” Abbott muttered, ignoring all of Cole’s protests. “She has all her other guardians. She’ll be fine.”
Cole turned to look at me, his eyes filled with worry, so I gave him a small smile and nod, sending him off. His shoulders sagged, and he stopped fighting Abbott as he left the room.
“I’m sorry, little bird, you shouldn’t have had to see that,” Jade apologized, his eyes cast to the floor, braced for me to yell at him.
“Come sit. You’ve been standing all day,” I offered, causing his gaze to snap to mine in confusion. “Please sit. Don’t make me order you.”
Silently, he drifted over to the couch and perched on the arm, following my request…
barely. “This is all new to us. The eight of you come from different places, backgrounds, and clans. It will take a little time for all of you to learn to work together. My plan is to see if I can learn more about guardians of the past to see how things worked between them. I know you are my guardians and protectors, but I really don’t know much else about your roles.
Queen Emery was the last queen to have guardians, but we are still translating the scrolls from her time.
I did get through all of her mother’s thoughts.
Queen Miranda, the Raven Queen, I believe you know her by, was the last to take all her guardians as lovers.
Emery only took two, and her son didn’t live long enough for anyone to write down much about him,” I shared, trying to distract myself from what Dayson was doing.
He’d gotten my bandage off and was using the bowl of water and a cloth that Payson had given him. The water felt cool against my hot, angry skin, but I knew if I looked at it, it would become far more painful than I wanted to deal with.
“You can read the old tongue?” Izel asked, a sense of awe in his voice.
I grinned, seeing a man who would be like-minded in my love of learning. “Yes, I wasn’t as proficient at it as I am now, but my father used to have me learn different languages.”
“I don’t mean to offend, Cassarah, but isn’t that unusual for a noble woman?” Payson asked from his spot on the floor near my chair, holding supplies for Dayson.
“That is true. Most women aren’t taught to read or write much more than their name, let alone another language. I might not have come from the best family, but I thankfully had a father who valued knowledge as much as how well a woman can sew or dance,” I explained.
Now I had Izel and Payson’s full attention while the others also listened in.
“What else did your father teach you?” Izel asked, leaning forward in his seat.
“Actually, this might be good for you and the clan leaders to know—”
“No,” Jade cut in, making me jump at his outburst. “They need to earn that trust. Don’t hand over secrets to those you are not sure are loyal to you. I get that you want to impress them and prove you should have the role of queen, but you already have it. They need to accept it.”
I paused, watching him before I nodded my head.
“Wise advice, Jade. Thank you. I suppose I need to blend my knowledge of the royal court with what I know of the clans. Raven Rose has shown me what a family unit can be like and how they trust and work together to survive, but I’m guessing not all clans are that way. ”
“The Ravens are the most well-off of the clans, being that they were tied to royalty. Others have struggled far more, forcing us to extend our limitations on what jobs we will take, hardening us. The Wind Fists are on the border of Norden and Errit, pulling jobs from Errit just to keep their people fed. Normally, we do not venture outside our country, but we do what we must,” Payson shared, his shoulders hunched, eyes downcast, like I was going to be upset by this information and take it out on him.
The signs of him being abused, most likely by his father, screamed at me.
I couldn’t believe I’d missed it before now, but he always managed to hide it behind a smile and a laugh, whereas I always hid it in silence and gritted my teeth to bear it.
I hissed as Dayson had to redo a few of the stitches, catching me off guard.
I closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and opened them again to continue the conversation.
“As we get to know each other, I would love to learn more about what each clan is really like. I see all the reports, but they don’t explain what daily life is like,” I said with a tight smile.
Izel frowned as he stood, walked over to me, and squatted beside my chair.
“Don’t do that. There is no need to hide your pain from us.
We are guardians and prepared to keep you safe, but that also means from yourself.
It is not good to smother your pain like that because, at some point, it might kill you if we don’t know what’s going on with you.
Jade was right to tell you not to share your secrets with the clan leaders, but we are your sworn and bound allies in every way we can be.
Let us be there for you, just like you want to be there for our people. Even queens need someone to lean on.”
Without thinking, I reached up and rested my hand on his cheek, seeing the sincerity in his eyes.
The small flame that Abbott, Cole, and Ballard had been trying to grow in my heart burned a little brighter, hearing Izel’s words.
This wouldn’t be easy for me to do, having spent so long covering up my needs and emotions.
He made it sound so easy to trust in them, let them in, and see the true core of who I was.
“Dearest, Cass, does it finally make sense now that I’m not the only one telling you this?
Cass, you are no longer the girl trapped in her room, beaten for her strong mind and will.
Let them help heal the damage your past has dealt you and be reborn as the Mercenary Queen,” Vasin coaxed, his calming voice drifting through my head.
“I will try, but I’m sure you will need to repeatedly remind me to let them.”
“That is something I can do.”
Izel startled me as he covered my hand with his, pulling me back to those around me.
“I don’t know how to do that very well, so I’m going to need your help.
” Slipping my hand off his face, I looked up at the others.
“All your help, since it was literally beaten into me that I wasn’t worth being cared about.
My value was in what I could gain for my parents in prestige and status within the court.
Believe it or not, I’ve come a long way, but there is still a lot of room to grow. ”
“We would be honored to help you, Cassarah,” May spoke, her eyes filled with compassion and understanding. “This group will be your new family and teach you what that should look like. We all might be a little screwed up in our ways, but we’ll have each other’s backs.”