Cassarah
The rumble of Vasin’s purr vibrating against my skin as I wrapped my arms around his neck seemed to ground me.
While I knew he needed to heal, and the best way to do that was to put him in a healing sleep, it just happened at a time when I’d needed him.
We had been bonded for such a short time in the scheme of things, but knowing he was always there in the back of my mind when I needed him was beyond comforting.
“My dear, Cass, it seems I have missed much in the past few days. I’m sorry I left you to deal with so much on your own.”
“Can I tell you how nice it is to hear you in my head once more? Everyone around me has been doing their best, but no one could ever replace you.”
“I should hope not.” Vasin huffed, letting me slide down his chest until I stood on my own. “Give me a moment, and I shall catch up on all I’ve missed so you don’t have to waste time explaining it.”
Opening up my mind to him, I placed my hand on his snout. We were past the point of needing physical contact to do this. I just needed the reassurance that he was still here. The feeling of him gathering the information he needed was no longer odd, even though it would never feel truly normal.
“Cass,” Vasin snapped with a warning growl.
“How could you even consider doing something so dangerous without me there to back you up? Xotha is an incredibly strong old dragon that has been twisted with dark magic. Thankfully, your Birthright didn’t allow him to manipulate you in any other way than by pulling you into his subconscious. ”
“I didn’t even know that any dragon could do that. You and I are bonded so that makes sense to me, but for him to pull me out of another human’s mind into that space is mind-boggling. Paxton told me if it hadn’t been his link to me as a guardian, he might not have found me.”
“You are proving my point for me. That was reckless and something I would have seen one of your consorts doing, but for you to make such a move surprises me. I can feel your desperation for answers, but it’s making you foolish.”
Flinching at his rebuttal, I hung my head, knowing he was right.
“We needed answers, Vasin. I was at a loss as to how to move forward, and doing that gave me what I wanted… the next clue. The Lost King believes he is this all-powerful being who can’t be stopped.
The only reason he can believe that with so much conviction is that he’s ensured whatever weakness he might have is hidden and hidden well. ”
“Even if your logic is sound, the way you went about it was anything but. There was no need for that to happen so quickly. You could have waited until later in the day when I was once again awake and could be there to guard you.”
“If you did that, though, I’m not sure he would have been able to pull me into Xotha’s mind. It was because he believed himself to be in control that he let slip what he did. I knew Paxton could get me out of there.”
“But he almost didn’t,” Vasin roared in my head and aloud, unsettling everyone around us.
“Do not yell at me,” I shouted back. “I know what I did was risky, but I got what I needed, and it’s over and done now.”
Vasin settled, flicking his wings in agitation before walking off to the side where a sunbeam was still left in the waning light.
There, he laid his back to me as he spread out his wings.
They were no longer filled with holes and rips from the fight, but instead, waxy areas showed where the skin was still healing.
The forced sleep had done wonders to speed along his recovery, but I could feel through our connection that he was still weak.
I’m sure Dayson moved in my direction to check on me, but I held him off and shook my head.
Inhaling deeply to calm my irritation and letting it back out again slowly, I moved to join my dragon.
I didn’t say anything but sat by his shoulder as I always did when we just spent time together.
Neither of us were at our best right now, so I didn’t hold his anger against him.
“You know, if something happens to you, then I am also lost and vice versa. Here I was doing all I could to ensure I was healing as quickly as possible because I knew it made you vulnerable to have me so weak. Then, I awaken only to find out you’ve been all but throwing your life at the mercy of the one man we can’t afford to take it. ”
“While I can see it from your perspective, that is not what I was trying to do,” I murmured as I stroked the scales of his neck. “The others think I’m being reckless because I vowed I would do whatever it took to ensure the Lost King never ruled, even if I gave up my own life.”
“Yes, I saw that conversation in your memories as well.”
“Then you heard my answer.”
Vasin’s head shifted so one amber eye was focused on me. “Cass, you are walking a dangerous road. The fates didn’t pick you because you were just like him but because you were the opposite.”
That chastisement hit right in the gut. Was he right? Did playing by the Lost King’s rules make me just like him? I would never risk anyone else’s lives, just my own.
“That isn’t true. By risking your life, you risk mine, not to mention the men who love you and would never be able to carry on without you.”
Shifting, I looked behind me at Dayson and Paxton talking to each other, giving me the space I needed with Vasin. Could they really be so devastated after only knowing me for a few short months that they would follow me into the afterlife?
“Stupid question, Cass. One of them leaped out of a window after you, hoping his dragon would catch him in time. Their bond as dragon and rider is so new it might not have gone the way it turned out. Would you have been able to catch him if his dragon hadn’t?”
Vasin wasn’t holding back on his thoughts in the slightest. He smacked down every argument I came up with and showed me just how blinded I’d been in my quest to destroy the Lost King.
Each moment I thought I was acting for the betterment of my people or my men, Vasin tore off the blinders and showed me how selfish I’d been.
“How did I not see it? This need to destroy him at all costs has been growing until now, and I’ve twisted the truth in my mind.”
“Cass, this is the price of power. Every person given a role of power over people wrestles with this issue. Those who overcome the temptation to fall into the power’s lust and keep it from twisting their mind do so by surrounding themselves with people who hold them accountable,” Vasin pointed out, flashing images and memories of this happening in my own life.
“Where you stumbled, and understandably so, is after Payson betrayed you. Then, the clan leaders planned a revolt you put a stop to. Even the Norden royalty, who was supposed to be allies, turned their backs on you. It is my belief that’s when you stopped listening to those around you giving you advice, instead feeling it was better to trust yourself. ”
Vasin revealed a flood of moments where I did just what he was saying.
Not all of it resulted in a selfish act, or even one others didn’t support, but were they done for the right reasons?
The more I pushed off what others wanted and started to plan things alone in my head, forgetting to tell the others about it, was where I’d gone wrong.
The past few days I’d been especially wrong in keeping things from the people who only had my best interests in mind.
I tied their hands behind their backs and forced them not to trust me.
It angered me, and I lashed out, even though I knew I’d pushed them into this.
“Look what happens when I don’t have you to scold me like the petulant child I’ve been. I don’t have you watching over my shoulder, and I fall apart. What does that say about me?”
“That you are human.”
I couldn’t help but snort at that, knowing it wasn’t meant to be an insult but more a statement of facts. A dragon would never see the need to be so conniving or manipulative.
“How do I fix this?”
“We shall do it together, dear Cass. Now that you are aware of the problem, I don’t foresee you making the same mistake quite so easily.
Trust your men when they tell you something is off and don’t dismiss their feelings quite so quickly.
They know you better than you realize. Now, I suggest you head back to the castle and apologize to all your guardians.
They have been doing their best for you despite your actions and words. ”
Standing, I ran my hand along his neck until I reached his head and scratched his eye ridges. “We hope to fly to Creisal in the next few days, but I can push it back if you won’t be strong enough.”
“Give me two days. I shall be ready to fly in two days. My wings are healing well, and the poison has fully cleared my system, but I need a little time. You won’t be leaving me here, I’ll tell you that right now.
It’s only been two days, and look at the mess you made.
No, I won’t be letting you leave to another kingdom without me. ”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Get your rest, and I will check in on you later,” I murmured, pressing a kiss to his giant scaly head.
The guys saw me approaching and started to clear up the card game they’d been playing. Each watched me with careful observation, probably having gathered that Vasin and I fought. Reaching out, I took a hand from each of them and pulled them in close so I was sandwiched between them.
“Everything’s fine. I had some hard truths given to me, but they were all things I needed to hear.
I’m sorry that I brushed off your concerns, and if I’ve made you feel like your opinion doesn’t matter, I’m so sorry,” I shared, looking from one man to the other.
“The truth of the matter is, I don’t deserve men like you watching out for me.
So, the only thing I can do in return is to try and not make it harder on you all. ”