Cassarah
Becka didn’t waste any time sending out two dragon riders to deliver my message, but I chose to put that aside for now as I enjoyed an evening with my true family.
Dinner was brought up, and I couldn’t help but smile as I noticed they selected some of our favorite foods.
Having spent time living with Marta when we first arrived, she quickly learned what each of us enjoyed, although everything she cooked was incredible.
It was why I asked for her to work at the castle as our head chef.
The atmosphere was relaxed as everyone dished up their plates, having sent the staff away for the night.
All of us were more than capable of fending for ourselves, and it was nice to set aside the castle’s rules.
The only thing we couldn’t avoid is that a taster already tested my plate.
Regardless of how I felt about things and wished to be a normal person, I couldn’t be reckless with my life anymore.
Vasin had made sure to hit that home with me in our conversation, and I planned to take it to heart.
“So, we might actually get to meet your parents?” Paxton asked as we all settled into our meal.
He grunted as Cole glared, and my guess would be he kicked him under the table. “Leave it alone.”
“What, I’m not allowed to ask? I get that they were assholes to her and didn’t treat her right…
we’ve all heard enough stories to gather that picture.
I wanted to know if I could meet them so I could look that man who called himself her father in the eyes and see if he knows how badly he fucked up,” Paxton defended, waving his fork at Cole, splattering him with food.
“You need to back off and take a deep breath. You overprotective caveman.”
Hearing the insult and seeing the mock horror on Cole’s face, I couldn’t help but laugh.
“While I hate to admit this, Paxton isn’t wrong, you know,” May added. “Out of all of us, you, Cole, you’re the only one who seems to baby her feelings the most.”
“I do not!” Cole declared, slamming his hand on the table. “What you might see as coddling, or babying as you so called it, is not allowing people to treat her without respect.”
“So, what you’re saying is everything that comes out of my mouth you see as disrespectful?” Paxton asked, resting his head on his hand, waiting.
Cole opened and closed his mouth a few times before letting out a frustrated growl.
“Look, you treat everyone like they are your sibling or your best friend, not taking into account they might be someone of higher status. You speak, but I don’t think you ever actually think about what you’re going to say before you say it.
Most of the time, Abbott or I get after you because you say rude or thoughtless things. ”
“Are you not my family?” Paxton asked.
“I… well… ah…” Cole stuttered, looking at all of us as if we were going to save him.
Listening to these two men talk, I realized that while I’d been focused on dealing with the troubles happening around us, I hadn’t noticed what was going on right in front of me.
On the surface, it seemed like all of them were getting along and learning to enjoy one another.
Paxton was the last to join us, and he came with some past history that made things challenging, but I didn’t for a moment consider they didn’t know we were a family.
“Pax brings up a good point,” I voiced, pulling everyone’s attention.
“Do you consider each other family at all? You are no longer just my guardians but my consorts, men who will be forever in each other’s lives, raising children, ruling this kingdom with me, growing old together.
If things don’t go well between you, there is no walking away from it.
You’re all connected to each other for the rest of our lives. ”
Looking around the table at each of them, I saw varying degrees of realization register on their faces.
The only one who didn’t seem at all bothered by this revelation was Zan.
He sat back with his hands in his lap as Ezzu napped on the back of his chair.
Leave it to my blind lover to see the truth of things clearer than anyone else in the room.
Becka cleared her throat, taking a sip of her wine before speaking.
“I know this is slightly different for May and me since we don’t have the added nature of sleeping with the queen, but she’s right.
Most of you have been like brothers to me for most of my life, so adding a few more of you didn’t seem to change much for me. I absolutely see you all as my family.”
May nodded her agreement. “Same. I’ve only had Dayson as my family since his father took me in when my parents died. Most of you I’ve known for years, and if we are being honest with each other, even though you haven’t thought about it, you treat each other like you’re brothers.”
“Isn’t this how family works, though? You don’t get to choose who is a part of it and whether you agree with their actions or choices, they are still someone you look after.
Pax might drive us all crazy, but if anyone were going to mess with him that wasn’t one of us, I would take issue with that,” Dayson said, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at the others.
“If any of you landed in trouble, I wouldn’t ask questions but would just wade in and figure it out later. ”
Peeking at Zan out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smirking before he hid it behind his glass.
My gaze swung over to Jade, Izel, and Gavin, who were completely silent with closed-off expressions.
I knew trusting would be hard for Jade, knowing that his family had turned their backs on him.
Izel, on the other hand, I was curious about his silence as well as Gavin.
Neither of them seemed to have issues with the others I was aware of.
“I have a question,” Gavin announced. “Do any of you have an issue with the fact I was selected to take the crown if anything happened to Cassarah before she had an heir?”
“Why would we? Each of us agreed you were the wise choice,” Abbott commented.
“That is true, but did you all choose to go along with the others, or did you feel I’m the best option?
” Gavin pressed as he looked at the others.
“If that isn’t the true feelings of this family, then I have no problem giving up the role to another.
I’ve given up being the crown prince once already because I didn’t feel it was the right place for me, so I can understand if you think the same thing. ”
Izel turned to face Gavin, sitting next to him. “Why did you give up being Norden’s crown prince?”
“For years, I was educated by our tutors and advisers about our kingdom and the people we ruled over. Some of the beliefs they had I wasn’t sure I agreed with.
Then when Cassarah rescued me, and I saw firsthand what life was like outside the castle for many people, I knew what I’d been taught was misguided.
I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to my parents and the people who had raised me.
On the other hand, Phillip has always been more confident in himself and challenged those teachings,” Gavin explained, pausing a moment as if to gather his thoughts before he continued.
“A new dream started to grow, and I saw a world where I could work alongside my brother to help our kingdom and the mercenaries grow into something more. Both groups have such rich histories and traditions, but in one selfish move, our past rulers broke trust. More than anything, I want to repair that trust and see our world working together, so another Lost King can’t happen again, but if it does, then all of us stand together. ”
Izel nodded in approval of Gavin’s words. “If that is truly how you feel, I believe we chose the right man. God forbid that something happens to Cassarah, but if she can no longer rule, I would want someone with the same dream she has to be in power.”
Every person at the table murmured their agreement. As if a weight had been lifted off Gavin, he sat up straighter and seemed to breathe easier hearing their answer.
“Does anyone else have something they would like to clear the air on or share with the others?” I asked in hopes of keeping this honest conversation that clearly needed to happen.
“Cassarah and I were talking earlier about how to ensure each of us gets some personal time. Like I asked that she stay in my room tonight, or one of you might request having a meal just the two of you… anything so that we have one-on-one moments together. As I said, I see you all as family, but that doesn’t mean I want to be around you every waking moment,” he teased.
“Sometimes, you just need time with your woman. You know what I mean?”
Zan slapped a wide smile on his face. “That, my brother, is a brilliant suggestion. Thank you for bringing it up. If someone else hadn’t, I was going to, but I’m glad to see there are others of the same mind.
” Ezzu was wide awake now, taking in the room for Zan until her golden eyes fell on me.
“Cassarah, I know when we first met, it wasn’t under the best of circumstances, but the fates knew far better than we did.
Not only have I been blessed to have you as my partner in life and someone I get to love wholeheartedly, but the fates gave me all of you men as well.
This is the first family I’ve had where I feel accepted for who I am and not judged for being blind.
I know it took a bit to gain your trust, rightly so, but once you all gave that to me, you never questioned it. ”
The guys all seemed to be somewhat embarrassed by Zan’s words, muttering and looking away. Gavin even blushed a little at the sentiment. Jade, though, still hadn’t seemed to break out of his icy shell he had wrapped around himself.
“Vasin.”
“Yes, my dear Cass?”
“Has Tahir mentioned anything going on with Jade? I feel like there might be something I’m missing. We are all here having an open and honest conversation, and he just seems to be pulling away.”
“Give me a moment to speak with Tahir.”
Part of me wanted to call him out and demand an answer, but my heart told me that would only push him farther away.
Jade was a man of deep emotions, and I knew I was one of the only people he would allow himself to be vulnerable with.
Sure, he would get upset around the others and shout his orders when it came to my safety, but I think back to that moment we shared alone late at night in the late king’s office.
He told me the story about his family and how he became known as the Grim Reaper.
To demand him to answer me now would only result in him storming out of this room, solving nothing.
“How do you propose we do this individual time?” Abbott asked, drawing me out of my thoughts. “I don’t want it to be something scheduled, making it feel like an obligation. Also, what if there is a time when one of us needs her more than another for some reason?”
The table fell silent as they considered his words, but I couldn’t get over my concern about Jade.
I was almost ready to pull him to the side and have him join me on the balcony.
What I felt I could confidently cross off the list of problems was something between us.
I knew he and I were fine. If we weren’t, he would absolutely come to talk to me or drag me off to deal with it.
So, it had to be something with the guys or possibly with the war we were heading into.
“What if we take it as a day-by-day situation?” Izel suggested.
“The biggest part of all this is ensuring we are vocal about what we need. I don’t mind having others around so long as I can sometimes sit next to Cassarah or hold her in my arms for a while.
Yet, there might be a day I really need to have one-on-one time, and it’s my responsibility to speak up. ”
“I can get behind that as long as we also agree that if we feel like someone is taking advantage of personal time, we can talk about that too,” Paxton voiced.
“Let’s not forget that Cassarah gets a say in this as well,” Dayson interjected. “Every woman needs a day to herself, and with her dealing with all of us, I feel that is only going to make the need greater.”
Becka snickered at that, giving me a wink. “The poor thing is gonna need at least one day she isn’t getting poked by one of you. Plus, May and I want our time with her as well. It’s not fair that you all get special time with her and we don’t.”
“That is a brilliant point,” I agreed. “I know you all are happy to listen to me grumble about things, but in every relationship there are irritations. Just so we’re clear, I will not ever be discussing things with each of you about the others.
That is what Becka and May are for. They will be able to listen to me and not need to fix it right away.
The last thing I want is for things to get worse between all of you. ”
“Very wise,” Zan agreed. “We will endeavor to do the same and try to deal with our personal issues with others directly instead of coming to you about them as well.”
Looking around the table, it seemed that everyone was in agreement with these choices, making me feel much better about how things stood between everyone. Finished with our meal, we all gathered in the sitting room, and Jade surprised me by pulling me into his lap as he sat in one of the armchairs.
“Little bird, I could feel you watching me through the whole conversation,” he murmured in my ear. “Give me time, and I will reveal what’s wrong. Just trust in the fact that it has nothing to do with you. We are perfectly fine.”
“Are you okay?” I asked, turning to meet his gaze.
His seafoam-colored eyes looked back at me with love and a tinge of sadness. “I hope to be soon… it’s hard for me when it comes to family. None of my family was ever that loving toward me, and trying to build a new one has brought up some feelings and other things I have to work on.”
Pressing a kiss to his lips, I tried to infuse all the love I had for him into it.
He tucked my head under his chin as he held me while the others resumed their card games.
Soon, the room was filled with laughter, yelling, and the sense of family.
This was what we’d been missing—this time to be together just as people, setting aside our titles and role in the world.
Right now, we were just family—my family.