Cassarah
The moment I entered my room, Cole snapped awake from where he’d been sleeping in a chair by the balcony door. “Everything all right?” he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
I didn’t have the energy to answer him and just shook my head, walking past him to the bathing chamber.
I wanted to wash the stench of death off my skin before crawling into bed.
Jade and Zan followed me, needing to wash up as well.
The thought of them dealing with my parents’ dead bodies made me sick to my stomach, but I was glad they asked me to leave so they could handle the situation without putting more nightmares in my brain.
The three of us cleaned up silently, lost in our thoughts as we scrubbed.
I could see bubbles tinged with pink from the blood of those who were killed in my childhood home float by me.
Before I lost control over my emotions for the umpteenth time tonight, I steeled myself, closed off my mind, and disconnected from the reality of what I’d witnessed.
Right now, all I wanted was to sleep and be surrounded by the family I still had living and breathing all around me.
With my hair still damp and only clothed in my bathing robe, I numbly walked to my bedroom. All my men and the girls stood there, watching me with apprehension. I needed to say something to them, but I didn’t have the energy to explain it all, so I settled for simple and to the point.
“Everyone in the house was killed. There were no survivors,” I announced, my voice cracking as I spoke.
Looking at them standing there, alive and breathing, seemed to crack the shield I’d put up, and my bottom lip started to quiver no matter how I tried to get it to stop.
“As of now, I am without any blood relations. What family I have now consists of the ten of you.”
The air in the room seemed to have been sucked out at my words.
Each of my men had lost one or both of their parents.
Many of their father’s deaths, having been the result of my guardians protecting me, were killed by their own hands.
These people before me had given up so much for the sake of our people and this kingdom I now ruled.
It appeared it was now my turn to have lost something valuable in this battle.
Cole walked up to me, wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and held me tightly to his chest. I could hear the steady beating of his heart, reminding me that he was still alive.
I hadn’t lost everything tonight, as much as the Lost King would like me to believe that.
Zan had been right. I needed to take this pain, anger, and revenge, using it to bring him to ruin.
Tears dampened Cole’s shirt, but he didn’t seem to care.
Instead, he scooped me up and walked over to the bed.
“Come on, little mouse, let’s get you into bed.
Sleep will help make things more manageable.
” Izel was already pulling back the sheets as Cole spoke, laying me down in the middle of the large bed.
“Will you all stay?” I asked, grabbing Cole’s wrist since he was closest. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”
“Little mouse, if that is what we can do for you right now, then, of course, we will stay. Did you want the girls to get in on this snuggle pile as well?” Cole questioned, looking over at May and Becka.
I turned my head seeing at how tired they both looked. “With all of them here, I think I’ll be safe enough. Go get some sleep so someone is fit enough to see an attack coming.”
Becka walked over, crawled on the bed, wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed my cheek.
“I love you, Cassarah. You and I have been through hell once, so we can survive this. You are and always will be a sister to me. While your parents and I had an odd relationship, I will mourn their passing along with you, especially your father. He always seemed like an uncle to me in an odd way. I pray the fates will grant you peaceful dreams, my dear sweet sister.”
After saying her peace, Becka left with May, the stalwart warrior woman, wrapping her friend in a side hug as they left the room.
Cole wrapped himself around my back as Izel pulled me against his chest, letting my ear rest over his heart. “Little warrior, do you want me to help you sleep?”
Izel had once before used his Birthright to block out the pain as they tended to my wounds.
He could influence a person’s mind but not in the same way Henry could.
Izel didn’t take over your mind. It was almost like he could pull you into a dream-like state, where he convinced your brain it was somewhere else.
“Please, I don’t want it to play in my dreams over and over again like I know it will,” I mumbled, my hand fisting the fabric of his shirt.
“They brutalized him, Izel. There was something they wanted from my father, and he wasn’t willing to give it up without a fight.
We still don’t know if he gave up his secret, let alone what it could be. ”
“Shh, little mouse,” Cole soothed, running his hand through my hair. “Let Izel help you rest, and you can tell us later if you feel up to it. Jade and Zan can fill us in too. You don’t have to be the one to share it all if you don’t want to.”
Nodding, I buried my face in Izel’s chest, pulling the blanket they wrapped me in under my chin.
“Where do you want to go, little warrior?” Izel asked, his soft voice already pulling me under his spell. “Tell me, and you will be off on your adventure, forgetting all about today.”
“Somewhere across the sea. I want to explore what else might be out there,” I shared. “Being here is only filled with sadness.”
“Then off across the sea you will go,” Izel whispered, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.
The second I closed my eyes, I was on Vasin’s back flying across the open water.
It stretched out as far as I could see, our images reflecting at us off the glassy surface.
The others were with me as well. All ten of them spread out, joining me on this journey.
There was only the sense of peace as the wind blew, ruffling my hair as Vasin lowered enough to skim the water with his claws, sending up a spray that ignited the sight of a rainbow.
“One day, my dear Cass, this will be the life we get to live. That is a vow I make to you.”
I could feel Vasin’s consciousness retreating from this dream, but I clung to his words like a lifeline. Once this was over, the world would be different—it would be free, and so would we.
“Cassy-bear,” Dayson’s voice rumbled along my back. “It’s time for you to get up.”
With a groan, I turned to curl up against him, hiding in his bulk, refusing to face the world yet.
“Hey now, none of that, spitfire,” Paxton said, poking my side playfully. I couldn’t fight back the giggle that burst out, and I knew I’d just signed away my own fate. “What was that I heard? Did you just giggle, Your Highness? Are queens even allowed to do that? I think I should check.”
Paxton started to tickle me, and no matter how hard I tried to fight against it, I burst into laughter as he dragged me away from Day.
Now on my back, Paxton pounced to sit on my legs and started to count my ribs, his finger rough on my skin.
“One… two… three… four… If you keep squirming like that, I’ll lose count and have to start over again. ”
“Mercy,” I gasped, fighting for breath as he continued to count.
“Seven… eig—” Paxton was cut off as Cole tackled him, knocking them both off the bed.
I lay there for a moment, my robe in shambles, showing off my naked body to the room of men, all of whom I’ve slept with. None of them seemed bothered by this, and many gave me heated glances, but it was clear no one was going to act.
“Come on, little phoenix,” Abbott said, reaching out to me with a hand. “We promised Becka we would have you up and ready for lunch. If we fail, then she’s going to kick all of us out tonight, and you’re having a girls-only sleepover.”
“That woman sure knows how to make a good threat,” I shared with a grin as I let him pull me from the bed. “So, who’s going to help me with my dress?”
“That would be me,” Gavin answered, stepping forward to take me from Abbott. “I’m the only one with a clue as to what would be appropriate for a luncheon with a king.”
Smiling, I followed after him into the dressing room and watched as he sorted through the dresses Becka had packed. I knew which one she would pick, but I wasn’t going to let them cheat—a deal was a deal.
“What do we think about this one?” Gavin asked, showing me a gown more suited to a ball than lunch.
“That’s a no. You only crinkle your nose like that when you don’t want to tell someone they’re wrong.
Let’s try again… that one was too fancy, I think.
Lunch, middle of the day, not formal but still pretty. ”
I covered my mouth with my hand, trying my best to stifle the laughter fighting to come out, but I didn’t want Gavin to doubt himself in the least.
“This one,” he announced, revealing it to me.
It was a simple emerald-green dress with a gold filigree pattern to it. “That will work perfectly,” I answered, letting my robe slide off my shoulders to land on the floor.
Gavin’s eyes went wide as I gathered my undergarments and slipped them on.
I could feel his eyes watching every move, but he didn’t so much as take a step closer to me.
It was clear they all came to some agreement that they weren’t going to pursue any intimate interactions while ensuring I was ready.
“I’ll just need you to help with the corset,” I commented, looking over my shoulder as I pulled my hair out of the way. “It doesn’t need to be overly tight, just snug to hold things in place.”
Gavin licked his lips as he set the dress aside and came up behind me. “I’ll admit, I don’t have much practice getting a woman into these. It’s usually the opposite.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course, love. I will listen to anything you want to share with me,” Gavin answered.