16. Hammer
HAMMER
Merci had dropped off lunch for me today, which I appreciated.
Between lunch with her and dinner with Mama, I was set.
I knew Mama was going to have something to say about me not coming over as much for her food because she knew a woman was behind it.
I still came over to have dinner with her and Cujo once or twice a week, but not nearly as much as I used to.
I hoped the cookies Merci had bought me would soften Mama enough to where she wouldn’t question me too much, but I could tell by how she eyed me that wouldn’t be the case.
I chuckled and shook my head when she grunted and rolled her eyes.
“What is it, Ma?” I asked after my laugh died down.
“I’m jealous. You got someone else feeding you, and you won’t tell me who it is.”
I knew it was coming. Running my hands down my face, I smiled.
Only so much time would pass before she’d be demanding to meet Merci.
That, I was sure of. There was a while where she didn’t think her sons would ever get married and have kids, and while I couldn’t say Cujo’s mind had changed about that, mine had.
Merci made the impossible seem possible, and I was grateful to God for that.
After Nathan’s funeral, I decided I wanted my own family, but I didn’t expect to meet my wife so soon after.
“It’s still new, Ma, but there is someone. I won’t deny that.”
“It might be new, but it means a lot to you. I can tell.”
“How?” I questioned, grabbing a chocolate chip cookie out of the box.
She rubbed her hands together and sat back in her seat. “You’re lighter. Softer. Love is all over you, baby. I might tease you about it, but Mama is so happy for you.”
“Thank you, Ma,” I said with a smile. “I… I know it’s early, but I love her. I’m in love with her. I’ve never felt the way I feel about her for anyone else.”
“And you’re sure she feels the same way?”
“Yeah. She’s a lover girl, and she doesn’t mind giving that love to me.”
“Ooh, this makes me so happy,” she said, dancing and clapping. “Okay. I know you want to go slow with this, but promise I can meet my new daughter soon. You know how long I’ve been waiting for this, Hammer—”
“I know, I know,” I surrendered softly. “You’ll meet her.
Honestly… there’s a reason I’m keeping her away,” I confessed, squeezing the back of my neck.
“It’s not you. It’s some shit that didn’t even have anything to do with us, but it’s affecting us and could affect our relationship.
” Shrugging, I slumped down in the seat.
“I’on know. I feel like when she meets my family and finds out who I come from, things are going to be over between us. ”
Ma’s smile faded as she considered my words. “What did your daddy do? Even if his death, the bastard is still fucking things up.”
I know she didn’t mean for it to, but her words forced a choked laugh out of me.
“Ma!”
“What? He is! I thought when he died, we’d be free of him, but clearly, that wasn’t the case. Still gotta deal with his crazy, hateful-ass family and now whatever is going on with you. What is it?”
Licking the corner of my mouth, I considered only briefly if I wanted to tell her the truth. I knew there was no point in hiding it. She’d find out eventually.
“Her daddy killed Pops and Granddaddy.”
Mama’s eyes blinked rapidly. I saw the moment she stopped breathing, and the moment her lungs started working again. Head tilted, her mouth opened and closed twice before any words actually came out.
“I-I thought Rey did that.”
“He did,” I agreed, bobbing my head. “Granddaddy Bart started the war. He went after Rey first, and you know he used Pops to do it. Pops got a team together, and they went after Rey. They also went after Neo, since the initial attack happened at her store. Rey hired Merc to protect him and Neo, who just so happened to give birth to the woman I’m in love with.
Before that happened, though, Merc ended the war on Rey’s behalf by killing Granddaddy and Pops after he went after Neo, Merci’s mom. ”
A shaky breath escaped her as she rubbed her hands up and down her thighs.
“You’re telling me, after all these years, you’ve found and fallen in love with the daughter of the man who was hired to kill your father.”
I nodded, grumbling, “Yeah,” under my breath.
“How do you feel about that, Son?” she asked carefully.
“Honestly, I don’t care, Ma. It would be different if Pops had been a better man, you know?
And that might be a fucked-up thing to say, but it’s the truth.
I don’t want to give up the best thing that’s ever happened to me being loyal to him, just because he’s the one that got you pregnant.
The nigga terrorized us. And he knew what he was risking when he went after Rey.
” Sucking my teeth, I stood and paced, trying to calm down.
Just thinking about the fucked-up position his choices had put me in already aggravated me.
“And I’m supposed to not be with her because of something that happened damn near thirty years ago? Nah.”
She gave me time to calm down before asking, “Does your brother know about this?”
“Yeah. He wants me to stay away but also knows I’m not.
He doesn’t want me to risk another war to be with her, but I don’t have a choice.
I love her. And maybe I shouldn’t have even let it get this far, but again, I felt like I had no choice.
I used to think love was a choice because you could choose to grow in it, but with Merci?
It was completely beyond my control. I couldn’t stop pursuing her even if I wanted to. ”
“Then that settles it,” she said, standing and taking my hands into hers.
“Be with her. And who knows? Maybe your relationship will be what we need to have more love in this family. I don’t care what your daddy’s family says or how they feel.
Don’t let anyone take her from you, baby.
Protect what you have with her at all costs.
You deserve to be loved and chosen. Safe.
Accepted. Wanted. If you get that from her, damn what anyone else has to say about it. ”
I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that until she said it. Pulling her into my arms, I gave her a hug and thanked her for her support. There was no doubt in my mind that when the truth came out, I’d need it.