Chapter Ten #2
What will she say? I’m a bastard for taking her from Durham, but a savior for rescuing her from her brother.
Damned either way. He recalled the cryptic message from the spirit women in his dream.
There are two possible ends for you … He tossed back his head, his heart felt so brittle it might crack.
He came across two sets of footprints in the snow nearly two miles from the house.
One headed north and the other westward, along the river.
Identical sets. He chuckled. She must have gotten turned around.
Something dark flashed in the near distance.
A cloaked figure broke into a full run. Randvior dug his heels into the stallion’s ribs.
As he closed in, he could tell Noelle was struggling to stay on her feet.
“Stop!”
“Why?” she shouted over her shoulder. “So you can ridicule me?”
She tripped and fell face down in the snow. He swung down from the saddle, walked beside her, and offered his hand.
She refused it.
“Everyone is looking for you. We returned from prayers and you were gone. There are patrols to the north and east …”
Noelle sat and wrapped her hands around her head. Losing his patience or temper wouldn’t accomplish a thing. Randvior didn’t know what to say. “Are you unwell?”
Noelle gestured angrily. “Did I ask you to chase me down like a nursemaid?” She brushed snow off her cloak and bent her knees into her chest. “Make arrangements for me to go back to England. There’s nothing left between us, Randvior Sigurdsson.
And I have no interest in being your concubine or any desire to spend another night under the same roof with your delightful mother. ”
Her complaints were justified. And much to his relief, her mental condition hadn’t deteriorated; her tongue remained as razor-sharp as always. He couldn’t fault her last grievance. Randvior didn’t want to spend another night under the same roof with his mother, either. “Be reasonable.”
“I am,” she snapped. “I hate you, do you hear me? I despise you for bringing me here. And you raped me! Dashed my dreams and destroyed everything I hold sacred!”
Could she choose more negative words? But rape … This was an outrageous accusation. His temper flared. He reached, gripped the front of her cloak, and lifted. “And what lucky bastard would have claimed you if I hadn’t?” He was frozen in the spot before her.
“Let me go,” she protested and tried to wiggle free. He let her go and she landed on her arse.
“Ignorant marauder … pirate … murderer … beast … godless heathen … barbaric, inferior man … rapist!”
This was about adding insult to injury. Damned if she was going to get away with calling him those cursed names. He lunged and held her shoulders between his hands. He wanted to squeeze every filthy thought from her mind.
Then he caught himself. What was he doing? Randvior heaved a sigh as he let her go.
She landed a solid kick on his shin and sprinted away. But Randvior recovered and tackled her. They tumbled, rolling twice before they came to a complete stop, Noelle pinned underneath. She slapped at his face, but he caught her hands midair and pinned her arms to her sides.
“I’m not a rapist!” he denied vehemently.
“Of all the revolting things I called you, why does the thought of being a rapist trouble you the most?”
“I’ve never forced a woman to bed.”
“No, only allowed your men to do it. Is there really a difference?”
“I did not rape you.”
She quit struggling and he let go of her arms, but still straddled her.
“If not rape, what do you call it when a man barges into a room where a girl is praying for her life and you claim her maidenhead without the courtesy of a kind word or promise of love?”
“Seduction,” he said, panting. “Not rape. A man conquers and takes what he wants—it’s an inherent right.”
“Inherent?” she cried. “Decency and honesty, kindness and moderation are inherent. Stealing what belongs to another is simply criminal!”
“Ah.” He tipped his head up and gazed at the stars.
Noelle swallowed hard and swatted his arms. “Get off me.”
“Not until you understand the difference between men and women.”
“It’s cold and I’m soaked to the bone,” she complained.
“You should have thought about that before you abandoned me.”
She made a low noise of contempt. “How can I abandon you if I never claimed any allegiance to you in the first place? As you confessed, it’s only natural for a man to take. Well, for a woman in my position, it’s only natural to escape.”
He was quiet for a long time, suspended between two philosophies: of right and of wrong. She had spoken wisely. Not all men pillaged. In fact, most didn’t. Generations of Sigurdsson’s had, and he’d be damned if a Saxon wench was going to stop him.
“What are my rights?” she asked.
If she were a man, he’d beat some sense into her thick skull. “As far as the law is concerned, you have none.” Her undisciplined tongue always caused trouble. He looked at her as she flailed. “Do you want help getting up?”
She hesitated, refusing to look at him, then reluctantly, nodded.
Randvior staggered to his feet and extended his hand.
She batted it away and stood on her own.
A twinge of guilt pinched him. They were both frozen and miserable; he wanted to touch her, offer what little warmth his body had left to give. But would she receive it?
“Leave me alone,” she said, as if knowing his question.
“Never,” he said with a defensive note in his voice.
“I wish …”
“What?”
“… that I had killed you the first night you fell asleep in the same bed with me.”
He reached inside his boot and pulled out a knife. “Take it and strike quickly, every wicked thing that comes out of that mouth feels as deadly as a blade piercing my heart.”
She was silent again and cast her eyes downward. Tears streamed down her face. “I want to go home,” she said.
He framed her face between his hands, his passion unfurled like a flag. “You are home.”
She did not respond. He felt his chest tighten at the sight of the pain in her face.
“Anything that hurts you, hurts me. I killed for you,” he confessed.
“I murdered my own man to protect you. And the gods may punish me for it, but I’d kill a thousand more if I knew it proved to you how much I want you. Please,” he croaked.
Randvior picked her up.
“I want nothing more than to keep you here with me forever,” he said.