CHAPTER THREE
CLOVER
Being stuck inside a stuffy classroom while the sun shone outside sucked. I had to remind myself that it beat the alternative. Getting some lame summer job and listening to my parents fight wasn’t the better choice. My older brother had moved out years ago. There was no one left at home to share the burden with.
Even though I was usually interested in the wild stories my Psych instructor shared, I found myself spacing out. I kept having flashbacks. Feeling Zane’s rough hands on me as he threw me to the ground. My ass still ached. I had to shift around on my seat every so often to stay comfortable.
He’d shown signs of a temper before. I’d seen him pick fights with guys in the bar. But he’d never been physically aggressive to me until that night. I knew how this went. Now that he’d hurt me once, he would hurt me again.
I’d ignored him since the incident. Zane had called endlessly and even come by my dorm room. I hadn’t answered.
It wasn’t only Zane that occupied my thoughts during the flashbacks. Blaze kept creeping into my mind, reminding me of how quick he’d been to go after Zane. I knew without a doubt that if I hadn’t begged him to stop, he’d have killed Zane. I saw it in his eyes. The deep desire to kill.
I caught myself wondering if Blaze was as bad as he seemed if he’d been so quick to come to my aid. With a wistful sigh, I shook myself out of it. He’d been there when Daire hurt Raina. I couldn’t forget that.
When class finally ended, I gathered my things, shoving them haphazardly into my bag. I slung it over my shoulder, eager to be done for the day. As I breezed from the room, happy to be free, I jerked to a halt outside the door.
Zane leaned against the opposite wall. He wore a hopeful expression and held a small bouquet of carnations and lilies. My stomach dropped.
“Can we talk?” he asked, stepping forward. “Please.”
He shoved the flowers toward me. I stared at them for a moment before shaking my head.
“I don’t want your flowers, Zane, or your excuses for what happened. Let’s just forget it, okay? Let’s forget everything.” Not wanting anyone in the hall to overhear, I started walking.
Zane fell into step beside me. “I’m sorry, Clover. I was drunk and stupid. That’s no excuse. I know that. I feel like an asshole. It will never happen again. I promise.”
Inside I cringed. This same promise had been made to many women by many abusive men. I only wished I’d seen the signs sooner. All I wanted was to be rid of Zane.
“I don’t want to hear it,” I said, keeping my tone calm and even. “I’m done, Zane. Okay? Please, leave me alone.”
His desperation was palpable. It rolled off him in waves that made my skin crawl.
“Have dinner with me,” he insisted. “I’ll buy. We’ll just talk. All I’m asking for is one dinner. One chance to make it up to you. Please.”
“I can’t. I have plans with Raina. Maybe another time.” The last thing I wanted was to lead him on, although I hoped that it would get him to go away.
Zane’s face fell. “Oh, okay then. I’ll see you later.”
He made one last attempt to hand me the flowers. When I wouldn’t take them, he strode off down the hall ahead me, his steps rapid and heavy. I watched him go, wondering what I’d been thinking to allow him to get so close. It had never been love between us. He’d never made the earth move or given me butterflies. He’d been a friend with benefits that turned into something more. Not love though. He’d confirmed that at the party the other night.
I returned to my dorm, glancing over my shoulder the whole way. I wasn’t sure if Zane would follow me. Thankfully, I made it there without issue. After a quick shower, I changed into a bright pink sundress with sparkly purple ankle boots. Some pink eyeshadow made me feel like myself. I knew that my look wasn’t for everyone, but that was just fine. It was for me.
Raina already sat at a corner booth in the restaurant when I arrived. She’d chosen a place known for having the best tacos around. She waved me over and I did my best to plaster a brilliant smile on my face.
“Am I late?” I asked, sliding into the booth across from her.
“No, I’m early. It’s cool. How was class today?” Raina sipped lemonade from a straw, her inquisitive blue gaze locked on me.
I flipped open the menu on the table before me and gave a halfhearted shrug. “It was class. Nothing special. I had a hard time sitting there while it was so nice outside. How was being a crime queen with three hot guys at your beck and call?”
Raina let out a bark of laughter. “You’ve met my guys. Do you really think they’re the type to jump when I tell them to?”
“Okay, probably not Gage. Knight is definitely the type though. He seems like he wants to please.” I’d heard enough about Raina’s guys to know they were not cookie cutter romantics. I’d also seen the bruises left on her body after they’d had their way with her. She seemed to like it though.
A server came over and I ordered two soft tacos with an iced coffee. My stomach had felt flip floppy since seeing Zane after class. Hopefully I could eat.
“Sure, Knight’s a pleaser,” Raina said after the server walked away with our order. “He’s also a freak who loves to make me cry. Anyway, you don’t want to hear about my kinky bedroom antics. How are things with Zane?”
The way she studied me as she asked made me nervous. I hadn’t told her that he’d pushed me or that Blaze had been there. I didn’t want to ruin her good wedding vibes or bring unnecessary attention to myself. It was over. Everything was fine.
“He’s fine, I guess. I haven’t seen him much since the party.” Unable to maintain eye contact, I glanced around the restaurant at the other patrons. The last thing I wanted to talk about was Zane.
“Oh really? Are you two still seeing each other? He seemed pretty pissed about Blaze flirting with you.” She slurped on her straw, her gaze still fixed on me.
“I’m not all that interested in Zane anymore. I don’t think I’ll be seeing him going forward. Our fling has run its course.” I forced a small smile. “You know how it goes.”
I tried to change the subject, asking about married life and what she’d been up to. She let me get away with it until the food came. We’d munched on our tacos for a few minutes before Raina hit me with it.
“Did you forget that we have cameras on the house?” she asked, picking up a piece of taco meat that had fallen on her plate and popping it in her mouth. “Were you planning to never tell me about what happened with Zane? I saw the footage, Clover. I saw him shove you down really hard. The only reason I haven’t had him killed yet is because I’d hoped you’d tell me about it yourself.”
I set my taco down and took a long drink of my iced coffee. Of course she knew about it. Why did there have to be footage?
“I didn’t want to talk about it,” I admitted. “I was hoping to break up with him and have that be the end of it, you know? Please, don’t hurt him. It’s over between us. I already had to beg Blaze not to get involved. I’d like to forget everything and move on.”
Raina nodded knowingly. “I saw Blaze punch Zane. As much as I hate that guy, I was hoping he’d finish Zane off and save me the trouble. I always knew Zane was bad news. Are you okay, Clover? The truth.”
Was I okay? It was only a shove. Minor really. It could have been so much worse.
“Yeah, I think so. My ass is a little sore but nothing serious.” I stared down at my taco as my appetite shriveled.
Raina paused a moment before saying, “You know that’s not what I meant.”
I nodded, forcing myself to meet her piercing gaze. “I’m fine. Really. Zane showed me who he really is. Now I’m trying to move on. I swear. I’m all good.”
Raina’s lips curved into an uncertain frown, like she didn’t quite believe me. “All right. If you’re sure. If you change your mind about Zane, say the word, and I’ll make sure he’s never seen again.”
She offered me a light laugh but I knew she wasn’t joking. This time Raina changed the subject, lightening the mood with talk about a shelter puppy she was thinking about fostering and how Havoc had melted when he first saw it.
In some ways, I envied Raina. Her ability to be tough no matter what she faced. Her take no shit attitude. I wished I could be more like her in that way. Having three hotties who wanted to make me their world would be nice too. Hell, I’d settle for one. I didn’t know how she kept up with three of them.
By the time I left the restaurant, I was feeling a lot better. My mood had perked up after time with my best friend. She always knew how to make me laugh. I got into my car with my leftovers in a box. I’d probably get my appetite back when I was trying to fall asleep.
Returning to the dorm residence, I felt the sudden weight of someone’s watchful stare. Unable to resist the urge, I looked around, finding the silver Camaro parked near the entrance to the parking lot. Blaze sat in the driver’s seat, his elbow propped in the open window. He was alone.
Was he stalking me? Would he do something like that? A chill crept over me. Looking away before our eyes could meet, I rushed toward the door.
I let myself into the building and decided to take the stairs over the elevator. I counted it as a small workout and a good way to purge the adrenaline in my veins. When I reached my floor and turned down the hallway, my heart leapt into my throat.
Zane sat on the floor leaning against my door. The flower bouquet from earlier lay on the floor next to him. He stared at his phone. Glancing up at my arrival, he shoved the phone into his pocket and scrambled to his feet.
This had to be a horrible joke. I was not in the mood for more of Zane. Did Blaze know he was in here? Or had he been following me while I was out with Raina? Neither possibility made me feel good.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me, and I understand that. Please, give me a chance to tell you how sorry I am.” Zane held up both hands, pleading with me. It made him even more pathetic than I already thought he was.
Wary of Blaze outside, I wanted nothing more than to lock myself in my room. Alone. I didn’t trust Blaze not to gain access to the building. Only residents had a key. That hadn’t stopped Zane from getting inside. He was on summer break and no longer living here.
“It doesn’t matter, Zane,” I said, glancing nervously back the way I’d come. “I don’t want to see you anymore. I think it’s best if you leave.”
Zane’s expression morphed from pleading to desperate panic. “Please, Clover. I love you. I want to be with you. It was one mistake. Please don’t hold that against me.”
A sick sensation filled me at his words. He thought that was love?
“I’m going into my room now,” I said, inching closer to the door. I didn’t want him in my personal space. “You need to leave.”
“Seriously? Just like that? One mistake and it’s over?” Zane’s voice began to rise. My panic rose along with it.
I said nothing, waiting for him to leave so I could enter my room. I didn’t trust him not to barge in with me. It was safer in the hallway.
Zane’s face reddened. In a burst of temper, he kicked the flowers that still lay on the floor. They flew several feet, petals falling off as they came apart.
“Fine. Fuck you too, Clover. I can’t believe I wasted so much time on you.” He stormed down the hall, muttering, “Fucking bitch.”
When he was gone, I released the breath I’d been holding and let myself into my room. Making sure the door was locked, I leaned against it and sighed. Tears stung my eyes. I blinked them back. He wasn’t worth it.
Shoving away from the door, I went to the window and peered out. My view was the front of the building and part of the parking lot. The silver Camaro was gone. I watched Zane leave the building and get into a black sedan.
I flopped down on my bed wondering who I should fear most. Zane or Blaze? Something told me that despite his actions at the party, it should be Blaze.