Chapter Three
All I wanted to do was go back home to scrub that one jock’s disgusting touch off me.
I hated this place, and even more so, I hated the people who went here.
Every year had been the same for the last three.
Some wealthy prick looking down at me because my mother couldn’t afford the tuition to enroll me in this school.
One would’ve thought with her running it that they would allow me to study here, but the Board of Trustees had shut her down at the suggestion and used the fully paid cottage we got to stay in rent-free as them being generous enough.
And they weren’t wrong. As is, my mother struggled mightily when it came to money, mostly because of my sister’s chronic health issues.
Her insurance only covered so much, and it was only around this time of year that my mother saw any relief in those medical bills.
She would have a two or three month reprieve, then be back to square one, repeating it all once the new coverage year began.
Rowan required multiple home health personnel including nurses, aides, and even therapists.
There were also the medical equipment bills, prescription drug costs, and infusions.
I was sometimes in awe of how my mother did that because she still had to buy food, keep insurance on the car, and have money to cover any additional expenses that came up.
I didn’t know how she managed to hold everything together, but she did, which was why I tried to be as helpful to her as I could.
“But why does it always include making me be around these assholes?” I muttered to myself as I bypassed the door for the main building and circled around it instead.
Usually, I would hide out under the pier when I needed to get away from the madness, but the students were partying there right now.
It left only one other place. When I reached the front of the school, I looked over in disgust at the parking lot full of luxury vehicles.
Money did not equate to class, and that point was only driven home to me year after year of being in this place.
It was increasingly hard not to break down when humiliated as publicly as I often was.
If I showed even a moment of weakness to any of them, they would emerge on me like a pack of wild dogs and me the wounded prey.
There was no way I would ever let them see me cower, but tonight had been different.
Maybe it was Rowan’s current infection, which scared the hell out of me, that made me even more emotional, but it had taken everything in me not to break down and cry for all to see.
That Conrad and Benny were the absolute worst. Since the night of registration, they went out of their way to tease and demean me, but I knew it was because they wanted to fuck me.
A virgin, I had never had sex with anyone, and I would be damned if it would be for either of them.
They would keep trying, though. I suspected they had never been told “no” when it came to anything in their lives, and they constantly found more insulting ways to punish me for being the first.
I disappeared into the enclave of trees off to the side.
There was a particular clearing not far from here, with a large tree that would soon lose its leaves.
Until it did, it allowed me to have another spot to compose myself while staying hidden from sight.
I dashed and weaved through the other trees until I found the one I was looking for, then I put my hands out on the bark, and dropped my head as the tears started to fall.
I had learned from a young age how to sob quietly.
Never wanting my mother or sister to worry about me and my feelings, I had always tried to hide anything that could even be construed as sad or angry.
They had enough to deal with, and neither needed me to make things all about me.
My twin was my better half, and her strength was something I tried my best to channel, until times like this, when all I could do was cry.
Maybe it had been my sobbing or that I’d been lost in my thoughts because I hadn’t even heard the first crinkle of leaves underfoot to know someone was near. It was only when I heard a voice that I tensed and straightened back to full height immediately.
“...everything okay?”
“W-what?” I said as I slowly turned around. Before the boy had a chance to speak, I looked up at him. “You!”
This was one of Conrad’s friends. He was often around, and while he had come to my aid the night of registration, he had been a silent observer in almost every other encounter I’d had with those despicable boys.
“What about me?” he said, and I realized his voice didn’t hold the same righteous indignation that the others often did.
“Why are you here? Are you following me?”
“Yes,” he said without a thought. “You looked upset down at the pier, so I wanted to check on you.”
Breathing in, I held my breath and squared my shoulders. “As you can see, I’m fine. You can go ahead and leave now.”
“Are you really fine, though?” he asked me.
“Yes!” I said with more emphasis than I meant. “I’m okay, so please just go.”
“You’re saying one thing, but I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t care what you believe. Why won’t you all just leave me alone?”
“Us all? Do you mean Conrad, Benny, and the others?”
“Well, duh,” I said as I found some inner confidence.
“I’m nothing like any of them. I actually have respect for you, even if you are just...”
When he stopped mid-sentence, I started to throw out names I’d been called recently by his friends and other classmates. “Squatter...Maid...Servant...Babysitter...W-Whore...”
The last one tripped me up, and the tears that followed were a blatant sign of betrayal against myself. Using the back of one hand, I turned my head to wipe at my eyes before turning back toward him.
“I would never call you any of those things. I had only paused because I realized that I don’t know your name.
” When I didn’t immediately offer it to him, he moved closer, but I somehow didn’t feel as threatened by him as I did with the others.
Extending his hand to me, he cleared his throat before adding, “Mine’s Cillian Brannington, but you already know that. ”
“I do?” I questioned.
“From the day of arrival.”
“Ahh, yes,” I said. “Mine’s Reagan.”
“Reagan. I like it. By chance, are you Irish?”
No one had ever asked me that, but I was. “Yes, my father’s side of the family is Irish. I only ever knew my paternal grandfather, though.” At least until my father walked out on my mother and us, and I never saw him again.
“I’m from Ireland. You ever been?”
I shook my head. “I’ve never been outside of this part of the state, except for the two times I’ve gone to New York City.”
It had been for the two bone marrow transplants I had undergone with Rowan at CHAM, or the Children’s Hospital at Montefiore.
Both times, I had been kept isolated as well, and I’d been unable to see much of anything as my mother didn’t want me to pick up any germs which could harm my sister.
I’d never want to be the cause of a setback, so I hadn’t even argued about it.
Like I had everything else in my life, I simply accepted it and moved on.
“Did you like the city?” he asked me.
I didn’t want to bore him with any of my personal stuff, so I shrugged. “It was okay.”
“I wish I could’ve stayed in Dublin. I mean, this place is cool, I suppose, but it doesn’t quite feel like home.”
“I bet Ireland is beautiful.”
“It is. Maybe one day you’ll get to go there and experience it for yourself.”
It was very doubtful, but I didn’t tell him that. I smiled politely at him. “Maybe. As you can see, I’m okay now, so you should head back to your party.”
“I’m actually enjoying my talk with you more than being there,” he said, and I almost sensed a genuineness in it.
It gave me pause, and as I looked up at him, I was only now starting to notice how devastatingly handsome he was with razor-sharp cheekbones, ice blue eyes, and a blonde quaff that I wanted to run my hands through.
Not sure where that came from, I dropped my gaze, which proved to be even worse for me.
Wearing a T-shirt that clung to his taut frame, I could see the imprint of his abs under the shirt.
The last thing I wanted to do was get caught gawking at him, so I turned away completely.
“You really should get back to the party. I’m sure the others are looking for you.”
“I’m not in charge of the alcohol, and there are enough horny bodies down there to distract each other. I doubt anyone even knows I’m gone.”
“Well, still...”
I started to fidget because this was the longest conversation I’d ever had with a guy that wasn’t a teacher or in the medical profession.
I tucked a curly swath of hair behind one ear only for it to fall back against my face as soon as I let it go.
Reaching for it, I was about to try it again when Cillian beat me to it.
“Here, let me,” he said.
I froze in that moment and closed my eyes as his large hand brushed against my cheek as he tucked the hair behind my ear, and this time, it would stay in place. I shivered, and I doubted it had anything to do with the coolness in the air. It had everything to do with this man.
“Do I make you nervous?” he asked me.
“Honestly, yes. I’m trying to figure out your angle because all guys have one.”
“I don’t.”
“So, you say. If you think I’m going to sleep with you, I’m not that kind of girl, no matter what the others...ahh...what they may say or think about me.”
“I never thought that for a minute. At first, I just wanted to make sure you were okay because the guys were being dicks back there, but now...”
“N-Now what?” I stammered in question.
“Now, I want to stay and learn more about you.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything and everything you’re willing to tell me.”